Seungwan sat there in stunned silence, the walls of the waiting room feeling like they were closing in on her. The bright, fluorescent lights surrounding the mirror cast the room in an unnatural glow. Across the room her stylist was busy packing up the red dress, crushed velvet with a plunging neck almost too risque for television. Now she sat there in just her shorts and t-shirt, feeling every inch a normal person except for the trophy in her lap.

She reached up and pinched her cheeks, finding it hard to believe. When she had been asked to stand at the front of the stage for the announcements, it made her worried. She was finishing her promotions, three weeks of stages, just herself and her piano. After the first week her nerves had settled. She’d found her groove and felt the energy of the place as she played. Then, this last show, she was nominated.

When they called her name at the end, she stood there, unable to move. It had been Sejeong who appeared beside her, the girl not saying a word but simply taking her by the elbow and guiding her to the announcers. She snapped back into the reality of the moment, taking the mic and with teary eyes, thanked everyone she could think of, rattling off names like she was rapping them.

CEO You was already on the phone, his voice filled with elation, by the time she reached the waiting room. “We were planning to celebrate your last day of promotions with a meal,” he was saying, his voice bouncing with giddiness, “but now it’s to celebrate your first win! This is big!”

She hefted the trophy up, feeling how light it was. “It’s heavy, though,” she whispered to herself. Heavy with expectation. Now that she won, it would open doors for her. She had felt as though her lazy days were disappearing but now, with this trophy, they were gone for the foreseeable future. Gone just in time for her to find a woman to love. She gazed at the base of the trophy and the date stamped on it. 

May 30th

She found it almost comical that she would win her first music show on this day. A day when Irene’s number would finally reach zero. May 30th was looking to be the most important day of her life. As she stared at the trophy, she failed to notice the door open and a slim figure stepped in, still dressed in her pink and white cheerleader outfit.

“Seungwan,” came Sejeong’s voice, tentative and worried. She quickly jumped in her seat, surprised at hearing that familiar voice saying her name in the waiting room. She gazed up, eyes wide as Sejeong took a slow step into the room. There was a strained air, hovering in the room, infecting it. The stylist looked between them, sensing the tense atmosphere and made an excuse to leave. Sejeong stepped aside and as the stylist left, the door fell shut with a definite, loud click.

“Can we talk?” She could hear the pleading in Sejeong’s voice as the girl stood there, eyes downcast, fingers twiddling nervously. They’d not talked to one another since that day at Seulgi’s dance studio despite having passed, frequently, during promotions. They hadn’t smiled or acknowledged each other's existence, simply trying to move on. 

“I think we should,” Seungwan said, a tight smile pulling at her lips. With shaking hands she put her trophy on the makeup counter and then slipped from her seat, her legs too short to touch the ground, falling a few inches to land on the balls of her feet. Sejeong’s lips curled, soft and full of worry. “Did you want to sit?”

“No,” Sejeong said with a shake of her head. The girl reached around her back and from where it was tucked into the waistband of her skirt, she pulled out a copy of her groups debut CD. The box was lavishly colored, bright green and gold, with scribbles across the surface in dark marker. “My group wanted to give you a copy of your CD. They all wanted to come but I asked them if I could do it alone.”

“I thought they might hate me,” Seungwan said, with genuine surprise in her voice. The way they had swept Sejeong away earlier that month, with glares and harsh words, made Seungwan believe they would have hated her. She watched as Sejeong took a step forward, the sweet scent of the girl’s perfume masking the unmistakable musk of sweat, something familiar. It was the same perfume Sejeong wore when they had made love all those years ago.

“I explained to them how I assumed when I shouldn’t have,” Sejeong said with a mirthless laugh. Seungwan stepped to her, fingers outstretched. The girl placed the box in her hands. They stood there a moment, quietly, eyes meeting. “I’m sorry for the way I ended things with you back then,” Sejeong whispered. “I’m sorry that I fulfilled that destiny you were so certain of.”

Seungwan drew in a slow, shuddering breath. There was a deep regret in Sejeong’s voice and eyes, longing mingling with sorrow. Her heart reached out to the girl, remembering what they’d had. The comfort they had given one another and the feel of lips on lips on skin. She also remembered the anguish of loss, cursing fate, slipping into self isolation before Sooyoung pulled her out. She’d experienced so much with Sejeong, both for good and ill and for that, if she was truthful with herself, was thankful. 

“Sejeong,” Seungwan said, her voice softening as she took the CD in one hand. Her other stretched out, fingers placing lightly on the girl’s arm, “Thank you.” Sejeong blinked a long moment, taken aback by those words. The girl’s eyes narrowed, squinted in confusion.

“Why?” Sejeong asked, her voice falling low and thick. Her shoulders shuddered and head fell forward, dark hair falling to cover her features, hiding the pain on her face, “I met someone and left you that same day. I was so happy when I met her and then I just abandoned you. It’s weighed heavily on me.”

“I watched you leave the house that day knowing you would find that person,” Seungwan said with an airy voice. “I knew what was coming. I knew and I could have left you before then but I had wanted to be with you as long as I could. It hurt,” she said, stepping close. She could feel the heat on Sejeong’s body, that perfume, etched in her memory, filling her senses. Before it might have brought about old emotions, lust associated with a scent, but now it was just a lingering memory. “But I lived. I got to feel an emotion I’d never felt before and that trophy on the counter, this win today, was because of you.”

“You shouldn’t let me off the hook so easily,” Sejeong whispered. Slowly, the girl’s head turned upwards, eyes misty. “Then again, seeing your new girlfriend was a blow enough, I suppose.” Sejeong gave a bark of a laugh and her eyes scrunched as she said with a teasing smile, “I knew, even if I wanted you back, there was no way I could compete with someone that looked like her. Sooyoung was enough of a threat but her,” Sejeong let out a low whistle of appreciation.

Seungwan chuckled and nodded. “I count my blessings for her every day. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about all that, though.”

“Not really,” Sejeong said with a shake of her head. There was a long pause, the air falling leaden, both wondering what to say. “It’s kind of funny,” Sejeong finally sighed, “You’ve moved on and now it’s my turn to pine, and anguish, and eventually move on. I built you up so much in my mind, thinking about how perfect you were and I had let you go. Then I heard that song and I was certain we would get back together again.”

“You’ll be fine,” Seungwan said tenderly. “You’ve got a soulmate for a best friend, a beautiful face that matches your beautiful soul.” Reaching up, Seungwan gave Sejeong’s cheek a friendly pat. “I’ll just be a fleeting memory soon enough.”

“You really aren’t angry with me?”

“No,” Seungwan said. “I was never mad at you. I was mad at myself.”

“Well,” Sejeong whispered, “don’t be.”

“I’m not anymore,” Seungwan said with a firm nod. A crack of a smile split Sejeong’s lips and the girl stepped back, slowly, hesitant to leave Seungwan’s presence. With a nod, Sejeong turned and grabbed the door handle, drawing it open.

“Thank you for talking with me,” Sejeong said, a relieved tone seeping into her voice. “I’m sure you have a big night planned to celebrate your win. I won’t keep you any longer. Best of luck, Seungwan.” With a final smile, Sejeong stepped through the doorway. The heavy, wood door slowly fell shut. They would cross paths again, Seungwan knew, both being in the same industry but now what they had been was behind him and what they could be was laid to rest. 

Her eyes drifted up to a clock hanging over the door, her heart pounding at the sight of it. Less than five hours and Joohyun’s numbers would reach zero. She drew in a steadying breath and hurried to the counter, grabbing her bag and rifling through it to find her phone. She swiped her thumb across the screen causing it to flicker to life. She quickly brought up her contacts and called Joohyun. 

“Seungwannie,” came Joohyun’s jubilant voice, the woman picking up after just a single ring. “You won! I am so happy!” Joohyun’s voice, so full of cheer, was infectious and Seungwan couldn’t help but smile. “Is there going to be a celebration dinner? Where are we going to meet up? I have to see you tonight.”

Seungwan settled back into her chair, her voice happy as she said, “We’re going to have a company only dinner right after we leave here but I want to get us all together afterwards.”

“Meet at Black Velvet?” Joohyun interjected before Seungwan could say more.

“Oh, no,” Seungwan said with a shake of her head. “I’ll get swamped right now. I’m a celebrity,” she said with a laugh. She honestly didn’t feel it. Sure, she didn’t feel that much just yet but she could sense it, the eye of the public slowly turning towards her and it was scary. “Seulgi said we could use her studio for a small party. Meet there at 10:15 tonight?”

“That’s too long,” Joohyun wined. Seungwan bit her lip to keep from laughing. In her mind’s eye she could see Joohyun, sitting on the couch of her apartment before the TV, lips drawn into a deep pout as she kicked her legs against the couch cushions like a belligerent child. “If I have to wait that long, then you have to sleep over at my place tonight so we can celebrate. Just the two of us.”

Joohyun’s voice had slipped from whiny to husky, the woman’s intonation speaking of naughty things. It brought a blush to Seungwan’s cheeks. She hoped, when her plan was seen through, Joohyun would want to talk to her. She had been telling herself that Joohyun would be hers, to hold and love, when her number hit zero. Still, a sliver of doubt kept speaking to her in the back of her mind. “If you want me to stay over afterwards, I will. I want to, so very badly.”

“I want you badly too,” Joohyun said with her low, sultry voice. “You’ve been so busy. Are you finally going to get a rest?”

“A full week of rest,” Seungwan said. “And you can have all my time but for now, I need to finish up here and then we’re going off to dinner.” She paused, forcing her voice to sound as happy as she could, “I’ll see you after, okay?”

“I love you,” Joohyun said giddily.

“I love you too,” Seungwan replied and hung up. She felt her heart pounding, every muscle feeling tense. She looked up at the mirror, gazing into her own eyes and said, as though trying to convince herself, “She will love you after. She will.”

***

Joohyun had spent an exceptional amount of time getting ready. There was something special about tonight, that feeling having filled her all day long. She’d been light on her feet, bouncing about the apartment. Now she stood before the mirror, admiring the way her legs looked in her jean shorts. The way her pale shoulders, round and perfect, looked with the off-shoulder blouse of white fabric she wore. The only thing on her mind was driving Seungwan insane.

When Seungwan had been announced the winner, she’d jumped off her couch and screamed. Ever since the first show, Kingdom Come had begun climbing the charts. More and more people heard the song, feeling the lyrics resonate inside them. The pride she felt was almost overwhelming. The girl she loved, was finding the success she rightly deserved. 

“I can’t wait to see her,” Irene said to herself, bouncing on her toes. She brought her arm up, a silver watch, slender band of wire and an elegant face, showing her it was almost 10pm. “Time to go,” she gushed at the empty room. She hurried to get her shoes on and swept out the door.

She fought to keep from speeding, intent on getting to her Seungwan as soon as possible. She knew everyone would be there, sharing time with her girlfriend. It irked her but she knew it was the way of things. As much as she wanted to monopolize Seungwan, to keep her close and pull her home to make love, their friends needed to give their congratulations as well. She only hoped the party didn’t last too long.

She pulled into the parking lot adjacent to officetel Seulgi’s studio was located in. She looked around and her brows furrowed. She couldn’t see Jisoo’s BMW or Sungjae's sedan. “I must be the first one,” Joohyun said as she parked. She skipped across the parking lot, lost in happiness. Sweeping into the lobby, she paid no attention to the people about her. The ramen restaurant on the first floor was busy, the sound of people laughing and enjoying their night, the clink of soju glasses striking one another. She didn’t care. Seungwan was waiting for her.

When she stepped into the elevator, she hugged herself. Life had felt like it was moving forward. Work had consumed so much of her the past few years, time to really enjoy things simply not there. Now she was in a position to live again and she found someone to live with. As the elevator dinged, she stepped out and hurried to the door of Seulgi’s studio, a sheet of paper taped to the door and letters in Seulgi’s handwriting saying, “Seungwan’s Party! Come on in!”

The door handle was cold to the touch as she grasped it. Pulling the door open wide, she stepped in and came to a halt. The lobby was cast in darkness, only a soft light seeping in from the glass windows that looked into the dance floor. 

A single figure, slender with long dark hair, strutting about that room in random directions, turning and pausing, seemingly confused filled that room. Black shorts and thigh high boots with tanned legs that flexed with each step. A long sleeved shirt of white with frills about the collar and wrist billowed about the figure's torso. WIth furrowed brows, Joohyun opened the door to the practice room and stepped in.

The sound of her shoes on the floor made the figure turn. She reached out and flicked on the lights. “Jennie?”

“What’s going on?” Jennie asked as she stood there with hands on her hips, eyes tight with consternation. She placed hands on her hips and asked, “Where is everyone? Jisoo told me she’d meet everyone here but it was completely empty when I showed up. The party starts in just a few minutes, right?”

Joohyun looked at her watch and frowned. “It’s 10:16. Wendy said the party was supposed to be at 10:20.”

“That’s exactly what Jisoo told me,” Jennie said as she looked around. “She was acting weird about it though. They wouldn’t throw a surprise party for us since it’s Seungwan’s party, right?” The confusion in Jennie’s voice was echoed in Joohyun’s thoughts. It simply didn’t make any sense to her. 

“I can’t see why,” Joohyun said slowly. A chill settled over her and she looked at Jennie, the girl’s lips now drawn into a concerned line. With shaking fingers, Joohyun reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She held it up before her face, her own image reflected in the dark glass and said, “Call Seungwan.”

“Calling Seungwan,” came a robotic voice and then the phone began to ring. A moment later there was a click and the soft sound of breath but no greeting. It was heavy and rapid. “Seungwan, I can hear you breathing.”

“Joohyun,” came Seungwan’s soft voice. There was a familiar tone in that voice, the same one Seungwan had that first night they had met. When Seungwan had declared in her drunken, sleeping stupor that she and Joohyun couldn’t be together. “Are you at the dance studio now? You should be. It’s almost 10:20.”

“What is this about?” Joohyun asked. She had wanted to be firm and demanding, but couldn’t bring herself to be harsh. Something felt off. “Only Jennie and I are here.”

“Don’t be mad at me, please,” Seungwan said with a catch in her voice. “You and Jennie need to talk and tonight is the night. There is a history with you both that needs to be brought to an end,” there was a pause and a shuddering breath could be heard over the phone, “or it needs to start again. That’s up to you both to decide.”

“Seungwan,” Joohyun began but the girl cut her off.

“It’s time, Joohyun,” Seungwan said. “When it’s over, I’ll be at our spot. I hope you come find me.” Then there was a click and silence. Joohyun was stunned as she held the phone out, staring at it in disbelief. Seungwan had just hung up on her. She felt anger start to rise in her when a hand settled on her shoulder.

A shiver ran down the center of her back and she looked over her shoulder, Jennie’s concerned face. A face she’d seen so many times in her life. WHen she’d fallen roller skating that one summer. When she’d cut her finger trying to chop vegetables. When she’d started working and the long hours had started to make her ill. This same face, full of concern and worry. Seungwan was right, there was a long history between them.

She was certain of something. This was a moment Seungwan knew was coming and had been dreading. Truth be told, she dreaded this moment as well. She’d have to bare herself and admit, not just to Jennie but to herself, truly and fully, the wrong she did to the girl. Slowly, Irene reached up and took hold of Jennie’s hand.

“Jennie,” Joohyun said as she turned, pulling the girl’s hand from her shoulder but not letting go. “I think tonight is the night we have it out.”

Jennie cocked her head, a slender brow quirking almost in amusement. “Why do you say that?”

“Because maybe destiny is right about some things.”

“What are you on about? Did you drink before coming over?” Jennie leaned forward and sniffed. 

“Let’s sit and talk,” Joohyun said as she slowly began to pull Jennie down. She knew it was time. Time to move forward and rebuild a part of what had been lost. Their friendship.

***

“You’re crawling out of your skin,” Jisoo said softly.

Seungwan was squirming on the bench, shifting about endlessly, huffing and unable to find a comfortable position to sit. Every nerve was on edge, her stomach twisting with worry. She knew Joohyun loved her but she’d watched numbers count to zero hundreds of times. Doubt crept into her mind again. Was Sejeong a fluke? A one in a million thing?

Now she’d sent Joohyun to the woman who would be her soulmate. It had felt like a risky but much needed move. Needed for them all to finally settle and get on with their life without worry about what could be. “She loves me,” Seungwan said with a croaking voice. “I know she does but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”

“I’m scared too,” Jisoo admitted as she reached out and placed a hand on Seungwan’s knee. A night breeze blew over them, the leaves of the ginkgo tree that loomed over them shaking in the wind. Seungwan shivered and Jisoo scooted closer, wrapping arms about her. “It’s almost midnight.”

“I know,” Seungwan said with a heavy sigh. “Their numbers are gone now. The only thing we have to do is wait.” They both fell silent, introspective at what that meant. She leaned her head to rest against Jisoo’s, the girls presence a comfort. It still surprised her how quickly they had become friends, their sense of humour matching and their tastes so similar.

When a white car, headlights casting bright lines across the grass, pulled up at the far end of the park, Seungwan felt her heart leap and stomach drop. The headlights went dark as the doors opened. Even from this distance and in the low light of the light posts, she could make out Joohyun and Jennie. “They’re here,” Jisoo said breathlessly.

They watched as Joohyun and Jennie walked around to the front of the car, the pair talking and laughing. When they linked hands, arms swaying together, Seungwan felt fear creep over her. She bit her lip and wanted to close her eyes, not watch, but she couldn’t. She had to. “Where we crazy for doing this?”

“A little,” Jisoo said solemnly.

Jennie and Joohyun turned and slowly began to trudge towards the ginkgo tree, arms swinging, laughing and talking. As they drew closer, Seungwan’s nerves only seemed to grow worse. She felt her fingers going numb and the back of her neck begin to sweat. “Remember when you threw that meatball at Lisa but it flew past her and hit that guy?” Jennie was saying as the pair came within earshot.

“If I were a guy I’m sure I would have been punched,” Joohyun said with a laugh. The pair were looking at each other, not sparing a glance for Jisoo of Seungwan. As they moved up the hill, closer and closer, Joohyun finally turned her eyes to the bench. They seemed to flash in the darkness, lips curling into an almost wicked grin. “It would have been awkward if you thought our spot meant somewhere other than here, Seungwan.”

There was a teasing tone in Joohyun’s voice that seemed to sweep away her nerves. Joohyun’s fingers let go their grip of Jennie’s hand. Seungwan felt tingles pour across her, heat flushing her skin, as Joohyun stalked up the hill directly towards her. She opened to speak but couldn’t find words. She wanted to ask what happened. She wanted to know if they were still lovers now, but not a sound could make it’s way past .

Joohyun planted her feet in front of them and looked at Jisoo with a quirked brow. She brought a hand up and with a flick of her wrist, motioned for Jisoo to move. Slowly, Jisoo unwrapped her arms about Seungwan and moved, sliding to the far end of the bench. “Joohyun,” Seungwan finally was able to utter when the woman was climbing onto the bench. Seungwan gave a start of surprise as Joohyun plopped down into her lap.

Joohyun’s arms reached past her head, grasping the high back of the bench and her face dipped forward. The woman’s dark hair fell forward, tickling along Seungwan’s cheeks. She could smell Joohyun, the raw scent of the woman she loved, feel her breath pouring across her face. “Tonight was the night our numbers disappeared, wasn’t it?”

Seungwan found her hands resting on Joohyun’s hips, gripping for all her might, afraid that Joohyun was going to suddenly leave. “Yes,” Seungwan said breathlessly. The weight of Joohyun’s slender body felt like it could pin her forever. 

“Were you worried about what would happen, my dear?”

“Very,” Seungwan said and as she sought to say more, Joohyun’s lips were on hers. A heady moan filled as the woman’s tongue invaded , hot and wanton, carless that they were in public. She felt her body react, every fiber of her being coming alive. As the cool night air of spring caressed them, the sound of the tree creaking as it swayed, they kissed. Two people in love.