Sun streamed through the crack of the window curtains, a single ray of golden light slashing across Seungwan’s face. Smacking her dry lips, Seungwan groaned as her eyes fluttered open, the light of day assaulting her. A dull ache roared through her ears as she reached up to rub her eyes, regretting the decision to move. The scent of soju and beer still clung to her sinuses and underneath that, the hint of lavender and vanilla.

Her eyes slowly focused, purple curtains, unfamiliar, expanded within her view. A single desk of metal and glass sat beneath them, a laptop open with a screensaver drawing her attention. A little bubble, bouncing about the screen. It was the same one she used. Except this wasn’t her bedroom.

“Who’s Sejeong?”

Seungwan abruptly turned her head against the pillow, seeking the source of that question. The motion caused a stab of pain on her temples, eyes clenching shut for a moment as she could only moan, “Owwwww.” Forcing her eyes open with a flutter of lashes, their faces close, she was met with large eyes and pink lips smiling at her, the woman’s head resting on the pillow.

“Joohyun?” Confusion washed over her as she asked, “Where am I?”

Joohyun’s lips curled into a grin. “You were so drunk last night we decided to have you crash at our apartment. It was a lot closer than yours.” Seungwan could feel the woman’s arm draped over her stomach, light and warm, and blushed. Joohyun’s smile deepend as she whispered, “You don’t remember getting here, do you?”

Seungwan closed her eyes and tried to summon memories of the night before as she whispered, “I remember Sooyoung telling me we were going drinking....”

Sooyoung flung the dressing room door open, the tall woman strutting in as though she owned the place. Seungwan almost tumbled over onto the couch, half , clutching her tank top against her torso. “Yah, don’t just barge in here like that,” she hissed loudly.

The level stare Sooyoung directed her way made Seungwan feel as though she was going to die on the spot. She watched warily as Sooyoung raised a finger, pointed it at her like a weapon and said in an authoritative voice, “You’re going to get drunk with me tonight and don’t you dare try and get out of it.”

worked wordlessly for a moment. She was used to Sooyoung being pushy, making constant recommendations or trying to insinuate an idea in your head. Demanding Sooyoung was another beast, one Seungwan had long learned not to resist. With a sigh, voice small, she simply said, “Okay.”

She watched as Sooyoung's demeanor softened, those pouty lips drawing into a smile as she walked towards Seungwan with open arms. Taking a step back, she felt the back of her calves hit the couch and realize she had nowhere to run or move. “Sooyoung,” she said with a panic’d voice, “I’m half here.”

“So?” Sooyoung wrapped her toned arms around Seungwan, chin falling to rest atop the petite girls head. Rocking her friend softly, Sooyoung let her hands gently massage the length of Seungwan’s narrow back, fingertips caressing goosebumps out of the girl’s skin. “Besides, haven’t you always wondered what it would be like pressed against me ?”

Seungwan sputtered as Sooyoung unwrapped arms from about her, backing towards the door with an evil grin on her lips. “Yah, I have never thought any such thing,” Seungwan lied.

“That’s a shame,” Sooyoung said wiggling her brows as she pointedly raked her eyes the small girl’s length, biting her lips seductively. The hinge of the door creaked in the quiet room as Sooyoung drew it open, her voice trailing behind her as she stepped through, “because I have.”

“Sooyoung is something else,” Seungwan said, appreciation on her voice and in her smile.

“Seulgi and Yeri said they would make us breakfast,” Joohyun said softly as she slowly pulled her arm away from Seungwan, palm and fingers gliding across the girl’s stomach leaving a hot stretch before disappearing. Seungwan felt herself shiver. 

“Seulgi insisted they make you pancakes since you’re from Canada.” Seungwan watched with dazed eyes as Joohyun drew the blanket away from her body and roll out of bed and stand. Raising her arms and stretching, Joohyun’s purple and white striped pajama top rose to give a flash of the woman’s stomach, drawing Seungwan’s gaze.

“Right, Yeri,” Seungwan said as she remembered first meeting that girl the night before.

“Everyone, I would like to introduce to you my wonderful, amazing and beautiful girlfriend,” Seulgi proclaimed as a short girl strode up the sidewalk towards them. Long black hair, full and wavy, splashed over rounded shoulders. A striped tank top and ripped jeans that were tight enough one could think they were painted on showed off the girl’s wide hips that curved into a narrow waist. Seungwan had to admit there was no lie in Seulgi’s declaration that the girl was beautiful.

“Hi, I’m Yeri,” the girl said in a cut voice, eyes scrunching as she bounced to Seulgi’s side, their arms slipping to lock together. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to the show,” she said with a pout, eyes falling on Seungwan. “I’m just as big a fan as Seulgi but I couldn’t get away from work.”

“You missed a hell of a performance,” Seulgi said excitedly as she placed a quick kiss on her girlfriends cheek, pulling her in tighter. “She played a new song and, oh my gosh, I couldn’t believe how emotional it was.”

Seungwan felt herself color, the praise seeping past her heavy mood. She had moved to happier songs for the rest of her set, letting herself be cheered by the audience but couldn’t completely shake the melancholy that lingered.

“Okay, now that we’re all here,” Sooyoung said as everyone had naturally formed into a circle, “We’re going to a pojangmacha for the first round. Put a little food in our stomachs before we start the real drinking. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect to me,” Joohyun said, the rest of the small party nodding in agreement.

Seungwan slid beneath the blankets, her bare legs sliding over the warm spot where Joohyun had just been. She paused a moment and lifted the blanket enough to gaze down, eyes furrowed at the long t-shirt she was wearing with a noticeable lack of pants. “Uhhhh, Joohyun,” she began as her head turned slowly towards the woman, “how did I get changed?”

The small smirk and wink Joohyun gave her made her cheeks flush. She quickly pulled the blankets over her head to hide. Muffled through the fabric she heard the woman say, “I’m going to help make breakfast. There’s a travel package in the medicine cabinet with toothpaste and a new toothbrush. Feel free to use them.”

Before Seungwan could reply, she heard the sound of the door close, the latch clicking shut loud enough to set another pulse of pain through her head. “People keep doing that to me,” she groaned. She sat there a long moment, trying to remember how much she had drank.

The plastic tent that surrounded the small, makeshift restaurant was humid. The scent of fish cake and boiling sauce filled the air as another bottle of Soju had somehow appeared in front of Seungwan. 

“Do you think Seungwan should slow down,” Seungjae asked as he looked over at Sooyoung, his eyes flashing concern. At first he had thought of Seungwan just as his girlfriends best friend but over the past three years, they had developed a real friendship.

Sooyoung turned to look at him, a seriousness in her voice as she laid her hand over his and simply said, “July, 2017.” His eyes grew wide as they turned to Seungwan, the small girl merely offering him a little smile and shrug in return.

“Oh,” he said quickly before leaning over and twisting the cap open, offering to pour the girl another shot. Joohyun watched with worried eyes as Seungwan raised her cup, graciously accepting the pour. Lifting the cup, Seungwan said, “Cheers,” in a tiny voice and threw it back in one shot.

“I knew Sooyoung wasn’t joking when she said she was going to get me drunk, but she didn’t have to enlist Sungjae’s help,” she thought, flinging the covers free from her body. Rolling to a sit, she buried her head in her hands, fingers rubbing at her temples slowly as she fought to make the world stop spinning.

She pulled herself out of bed, every muscle in her body arguing with the decision. On wobbly feet, she made her way to the bathroom. Her hand hovered over the light switch and decided it was best to go without, instead she left the door open to let a bit of light spill in. Opening the medicine cabinet, she took out the travel pack Joohyun had mentioned and opened it.

Brushing her teeth slowly, afraid of making any sharp movements, she felt as though she was finally gaining control of herself again. She looked in the mirror and grunted at her puffy cheeks and mussed hair, dark strands flying here and about. Wetting her fingers, she began to run them through her short locks, trying to tame her mane.

Her eyes drifted about, noting how clean the room was. Makeup was organized on the counter in neat little rows, the mirror lacking any spots or streaks. “She’s very clean,” Seungwan thought as she took a bottle of liquid soap up, lips curling into a smile. “Lavender scented. That must be why she smells so nice.”

“Here, let me help you,” Joohyun said as she grasped onto Seungwan’s arms, leaning in close to help the girl stay steady as they walked. They lagged behind the other couples who were walking hand in hand, two happy couples out for a night of fun.

“You smell nice,” Seungwan said as she inhaled deep, “and you look like a princess.” Seungwan’s voice slurred as she glanced over at Joohyun, cheeks and nose red from drink. “Normally they say a princess needs a prince, but you get another princess,” Seungwan declared as she lowered her head to rest a cheek on the woman’s shoulder.

“We’re the fifth and sixth wheel tonight,” Joohyun said as she nodded towards the two couples ahead of them. “Guess we’ll just have to be each other's company.”

They walked pressed together, bodies close, sharing warmth as the spring night began to cool down. A chill had settled in on Joohyun, her short skirt and skimpy top not enough for the late night. She shivered against Seungwan. “Want to wear my shirt,” Seungwan offered as she began running a hand along Joohyun’s arm, trying to warm the woman up with friction. “I’m from Canada so this is like a warm summer day for me.”

“If you keep doing that, I think I’ll warm up enough for now,” Joohyun said, her voice filled with appreciation. She rolled her head to the side, eyes glancing down at Seungwan’s face, noting how different this girl was from her usual type. 

Ahead, Yeri and Sooyoung had fallen into teasing each other and challenging who could drink more. “Those two are peas in a pod,” Joohyun though with a smile. Despite having just met, there was a comfortable air with this small group. Seulgi had been her only companion since the breakup, a schism forming in their old group of friends. Tonight, in this moment, she was feeling happy.

“You never told me if you wanted to know your number,” Seungwan said. Glancing sidelong, Joohyun could see the girl’s eyes turned upwards, looking above her head where those numbers were sure to float in Seungwan’s vision.

“I don’t think I want to know,” Joohyun said, making the decision in the moment now that she was face with it.

“But what if already know who your soulmate is,” Seungwan said, her voice almost a whisper, a lingering hint of sadness held in her countenance. The same solemn tone she had sung with earlier that night.

Joohyun felt a shiver run down her spine, like the girl’s voice was caressing her. “Then I’ll find out who she is when it happens,” Joohyun said with a smile.

Stepping out into the hallway, Seungwan felt embarrassed at the memory of clinging to Joohyun. She had attempted to change into her clothes from the night before but found bending over impossible, her head refusing to maintain balance as she leaned forward. Down the hallway she could hear the clatter of dishes and low voices talking.

She crept down the hallway, slippered feet sliding along the hard laminate floor. Her hand trailed against the wall, guarantee against falling over. As she reached the end of the hallway, she leaned against the wall and listened.

“So, Joohyun, how long has it been since there was another girl in your bed?”

“Yeri, you’re too young to say things like that,” Joohyun said, her reprimand laced with a soft laugh. “And it wasn’t like that,” she said with a slight huff in her voice, “she needed someplace to sleep and our place was closer.”

“We have a couch,” Seulgi said with a laugh.

“Not you too, Seulgi,” Joohyun responded, a feigned tone of pain in her voice.

Seungwan felt her cheeks flush a deep red. Afraid of where the conversation might go, or what she might hear, she pushed herself up off the wall with effort and shuffled into the main room. “She’s alive,” came a soft cry from Yeri as the girl raised a spatula, pointing it towards Seungwan. “Mostly,” the young girl quickly amended as she watched Seungwan the slow, labored way she was walking. 

Joohyun was suddenly there, slipping a steadying arm around Seungwan. Another flash of memory passed through her mind.

Seungwan clung to Joohyun’s arm as they followed behind the couples, Yeri and Seulgi swinging their arms dramatically as they took long strides. Every now and then the two girls stopped to twirl each other about and laugh. Their antics made her smile. Sooyoung and Sungjae were more reserved, leaning over now and then to whisper at each other. Seungwan’s eyes floated to look above their heads. 

“Can I tell you a secret,” Seungwan said with a slur as she let her hand slip into Joohyun’s, lacing their fingers together as they walked, the next “round” another block away. They had left the main street of Hongdae behind them, the buskers and dancers going strong late into the night, for the more somber bars and restaurants.

“Sushi,” they heard Yeri and Sooyoung proclaim at the same time as the restaurants sign appeared into view.

“You’re pretty drunk, Seungwan,” Joohyun said softly as she reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from the girl’s brow. “Maybe you should tell me another time,” she suggested.

“It’s not that kind of secret,” Seungwan said with a frown. Reaching up with her free hand, she pointed haphazardly towards Sooyoung and Sungjae, finger aimed over their heads. “Sooyoung never lets me tell her number but that’s okay because she doesn’t have one anymore. Neither does Sungjae.”

“What do you mean?”

“I watched them date for two years with matching numbers,” Seungwan said before giving a tiny sigh, “and last fall their numbers hit 0 together. I’m so happy for my friend.” She smiled at Joohyun with an open mouth, teeth clenched grin, eyes scrunching over chubby cheeks.

“You’re cute,” Joohyun said as she returned the girls happy smile.

Joohyun helped Seungwan to the table, pulling out a seat for the girl to sit and helping her down. A platter of steam pancakes sat in the middle of the table, plates and forks set out for the four of them. “Do you think you can handle food,” Joohyun asked with a concerned look as she settled into the set next to Seungwan.

“Pancakes, definitely,” Seungwan said as she swiveled her head about, looking around the room. The apartment was large with a small kitchenette, laminate floors and heavy wood furniture with thick cushions made the place feel cozy. The ceiling caught her eye, painted a soft blue with realistic clouds that billowed across it.

“Seulgi painted the ceiling for me,” Joohyun said, her eyes following Seungwan’s gaze. “I love looking at the sky.”

“That’s amazing,” Seungwan said as she looked at Seulgi, appreciation in her eyes. She watched as Seulgi blushed and looked down, struck at how adorable the other girl was.

“So,” Yeri said as she settled down into a chair across the table from Seungwan, the young girls eyes dancing as she spoke. “Just how much do you remember of last night?”

“Bits and pieces,” Seungwan said slowly, her mind still clouded with a fog. “I remember us going to a sushi restaurant.” She bit her lip and clenched her eyes, trying hard to remember more. “Oh, no. We got kicked out of that place, didn’t we?”

A large wooden boat, rows of sushi rolls and sashimi lining it’s deck, sat in the middle of the rectangular table. The cooling temperatures were kept at bay by a large propane heater that sat near the patio table. The restaurant had been busy and the only seating available was outdoor. 

Seungwan leaned forward, elbow resting on the edge of the table, chin propped on the heel of her palm as she watched Seulgi hold out a slice of sea bass for Yeri. She felt like she needed to see two people so much in love, to soak up their happiness and shake off the sadness that had overtaken her earlier.

“Take it away, Seungwan!” Sooyoung declared suddenly as she held an empty sake bottle out for Seungwan. Her fingers slowly wrapped around the glass, digits number, struggling to maintain purchase. Wobbling, she stood up and flashed a wide smile, eyes sweeping across the group sitting about the table. “Hehehehe,” she giggled a moment before pointing her finger towards Yeri, voice slurred as she said, “‘is ones fer you.”

Drawing a deep breath, she starting singing, “Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo.”

A sudden gasp filled Yeri’s throat as the girl jumped from her seat, a brilliant smile blossoming on the young girls face as she joined in on the song.

Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo!

Seungwan pointed the sake bottle at Seulgi, eyes scrunching as she swayed where she stood and declared, “Mommy shark!” Seulgi could only blink in surprise for a moment before Yeri started grabbing at her arm, trying to drag her up from her seat. With a resigned sigh, Seulgi stood  as every eye fell upon her.

Suddenly, her demeanor changed as she struck a pose and reached up to flick her hair, making it billow upwards and in a soothing voice began singing, “Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.” Yeri gave a loud cry of happiness and flung her arms around Seulgi, a rolling and infectious laugh pouring out from the young girl. Everyone else around the table jumped up, joining in on the song to the horror of all the other diners around them.

Seungwan took a bite of the pancake, working slowly, just the act of chewing a labor against the intense pain in her head. “This is good,” she said after taking a swallow, looking up to flash a smile at Seulgi. “To be honest, I haven’t had a western breakfast in years. Not since the last time I went back to Canada.”

“Seulgi mentioned you were from Canada,” Joohyun said as she glanced over at Seungwan, head cocked in curiosity. “Were you born there?”

Seungwan began to shake her head but stopped herself, afraid the motion would bring another spike of pain. “I was born in Seongbuk-dong but my parents moved us overseas when we were kids.” She paused a moment, wondering how she felt so comfortable. She looked around the table, eyes catching Yeri’s hand as it would reach out and gently caress Seulgi’s arm, the motion appearing unconscious. Her eyes met Joohyun’s, dark and soft, a smile flashing across the woman’s lips as she chewed on a piece of a pancake.

Joohyun held out a long t-shirt for Seungwan, the room dark save for a single lamp, it’s own light dampered by a deep purple shade. “Here, you can sleep in this,” the woman said, waiting for Seungwan tot take it. “You can sleep in here and I can sleep on the couch.”

Seungwan murmured a thank you and took the t-shirt, watching as Joohyun turned to give her privacy. She wavered where she stood as she ripped her tank top from her body, her flannel shirt now tied around Joohyun’s waist after having given to the woman earlier in the night. Her hand fumbled at the clasp of her pants, struggling before finally drawing the button through the loop.

She shimmied her hips, thumb hooked in a belt look, dragging it down to her ankles. As she stepped, she felt her balance disappearing, she began tumbling and bumped into Joohyun, clinging at the girl’s back. A low, drunken laugh rolled off Seungwan’s lips as she wrapped her arms around the woman.

“Stay with me tonight,” Seungwan slurred as she fought for balance, eventually righting herself and slowly slipped the t-shirt over her head only to immediately fall over backwards onto the bed, dragging Joohyun with her. With a happy little laugh, Seungwan wrapped her limbs around the woman, snuggling in tight.

“Don’t leave me, Sejeong,” Seungwan whispered softly before placing a kiss against the corner of Joohyun’s lips.

Those question Joohyun asked earlier, “Who’s Sejeong,” popped into her mind like a gunshot, loud and dangerous. She felt herself suddenly grow awkward, somehow wishing she could turn invisible or simply disappearing into nothingness. “Just get through breakfast and get out of here,” she thought. Her eyes settled on her plate, now afraid to look at Joohyun.

Once the pancake had disappeared from her plate, the taste of butter and syrup lingering in , she looked up at Seulgi and Yeri, and mumbled, “Thank you for the meal.”

“We should thank you,” Seulgi said quickly. “Last night we got to go out drinking with our favorite musician and then make her breakfast. Honestly, this has been like a dream.” 

“Last night feels like a dream to me as well,” Seungwan said as she blinked, she finally felt like the fog was parting, the shape of the previous night coming together. “Mostly because I woke up not being able to remember most of it.”

She felt Joohyun’s hand fall on her arm, the sound of the woman laughing beside her. She wanted to look over. She wanted to place a hand on top of the woman’s and give it a squeeze but in the back of her mind, all she could hear was, “She’s not yours.”

“I did have fun,” Seungwan admitted, the smiles that pulled at Seulgi and Yeri’s lips making her happy. She pondered a moment, thinking about how comfortable they had all been together. “How about we exchange numbers and possibly hang out again sometime?”

Seulgi grinned and waved her hand as Yeri said, “Sooyoung already gave us your number. Told us that we were not part of the Joy Crew.”

Seungwan could only smirk and reach up to rub her temples, a low chuckle filling . “Of course she did. Sooyoung really likes to take charge.” There was a chorus of slow, understanding nobs all around the table. 

“I don’t remember her and Sungjae leaving,” Seungwan said, unable to summon an image, wondering when they abandoned her to this crazy trio of women.

“Sooyoung said she was tired and needed to get some sleep,” Yeri said, a deep forming on her her lips, “but by the looks they were giving each other, I don’t think much sleep was going to happen.” Yeri made suggestive noises with and fluttered her eyes.

“Kim Yerim,” Joohyun said in a stern voice, pointing a fork at the young girl. “I didn’t raise you to say things like that!”

“Mom,” Yeri said with an exasperated voice. “I do those kinds of things.” Grasping Seulgi by both cheeks, the young girl placed a quick kiss on a pair of surprised lips. A gasp escaped Joohyun’s throat before she grabbed a pancake with bare hands from the center of the table and threw it at Yeri, the younger girl ducking instinctively. I flew over the msall girl and with a loud slapping noise, it struck the door of the refrigerator. Everyone sat there, frozen in surprise a split second before breaking into a fit of laughs.

“I should probably get going,” Seungwan said once table grew silent. Standing slowly, she felt her head swim again, her eyes falling shut as she fought to gain her balance again. Joohyun was out of her seat, an arm slipping about Seungwan’s waist. 

“Maybe you should lie down a bit longer instead?” The concern in the woman’s voice was touching but she couldn’t help but feel a flash of resentment run through her. She thought how much easier it would be if Joohyun showed her indifference. “Come on,” the woman said, slowly guiding Seungwan from the table and back towards the hallway.

The door to Joohyun’s room swung wide open, an assault of purple everywhere Seungwan looked. “Green must be your favorite color,” Seungwan said jokingly as she was lowered onto the edge of the bed. She glanced up to see Joohyun’s eyes sparkling, lips pulled into a wide smile.

“Nope,” The woman said as she drew back the covers for Seungwan. “It’s blue,” Joohyun said with a soft laugh.

Lying down, Seungwan curled up as Joohyun drew the covers over her again. She could smell lavender on the pillow, inhaling deeply, letting it comfort her. Here eyes fluttered shut as Joohyun began to gently brush strands of dark hair from Seungwan’s brow, fingertips brushing along her temples. 

“About last night,” Seungwan began slowly. She was afraid to broach the subject of what she had said, of the kiss she had placed on Joohyun’s lips. She opened her eyes to watch Joohyun sink down to her knees and lean over on the bed, arms crossed, the woman’s head falling to rest on them. Their faces were half a foot from each other, gazes locked. Seungwan couldn’t find words, her eyes lost in Joohyun’s.

“Who is Sejeong?”

“Someone from my past,” Seungwan said after a long pause.

“Did she break your heart?”

“Yes.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“A little.”

“Next time you kiss me,” Joohyun said, face going soft as she reached out to place a hand against Seungwan’s cheek, fingers stretching out to caress the girl’s ear lobe, “don’t think of her, okay?” 

Seungwan felt stunned, working wordlessly as Joohyun flashed a smile. Her eyes followed the woman as she stood and walked to the door, glancing over her shoulder one last time before stepping into the hallway. The words, “Next time you kiss me,” playing in her ears over and over like a broken record.

Authors Notes: A pojangmacha is a small street food vendor. Some kind of cart/stand and sometimes they have tables set up inside a tent. In Korea, a lot of people do “rounds” when they go out drinking. For each round you go someplace else to eat and drink. 

I haven’t worked heavily with flashbacks and I worry about continuity so I HOPE this chapter made sense to everyone. I was trying to show memories of the night before coming back to Seungwan during the morning. It’s cinematic but apparently hard to properly convey in a literary context... Next week my work schedule returns to normal and I won't have countless hours to write, so updates will begin to roll out slower.