Her fingers gripped the marble counter, knuckles as white as the veins of rock that stretched throughout  the stone surface. The light of the restroom was soft, beautiful sconces of frosted glass and brass hanging from the walls. It was a far cry from the bright fluorescent lights she was used to. Her eyes were on herself in the mirror, breath hard and labored as she sought to settle the feeling of panic that was overwhelming her. Her face had gone pale.

She wondered where her earlier determination had gone. That faith which left her believing in the future she and Joohyun could have. It was those damn numbers and for a moment she wished she’d never brought them back. When they had disappeared in those brief moments at the park, what if she had forgotten them? Let them go and never look back. Having watched those moments tick, slowly and surely, had put a crack in her new found hope. 

The door of the restroom creaked open and Seungwan jumped, shoving her hands beneath the sink. Water sputtered out, a warm spray that poured across her hands. She glanced up in the mirror and felt stunned at the woman moving to stand on the other side of the counter. Long, black hair that fell in a beautiful cascade swept down past her shoulders. Shapely red lips and soft cheeks with large almond eyes that look like they could draw you in. 

She simply kept washing her hands, not sure what to do. Not even sure why she had started washing them in the first place. The woman at the other end of the counter opened her purse and drew out a tube of lipstick from within. Uncapping it, the woman leaned forward and reached up to apply it before those large eyes flicked Seungwan’s directions. The woman’s lipstick was forgotten, she turned her head to Seungwan and cocked her head, husky voice asking, “Are you okay?”

Seungwan yanked her hands back from the water and pulled her elbows to her sides. Her hands were out before her, dripping water as she turned side to side, frantically looking for a towel. The woman gave a soft chuckle and stepped back, a paper towel dispenser she had been blocking popping into view. Blushing with embarrassment, Seungwan quickly bowed her head and hurried to dry her hands.

As she wiped her hands with paper towels, the woman stepped close. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you sure you’re okay?” The sincere concern in the woman’s voice struck her and she felt tears well up at the corners of her eyes. She told herself not to cry in front of a stranger and drew in a sniffling breath, blinking her eyes, trying to hold the back.

“That’s a no,” the woman said gently before reaching out and placing a comforting hand on Seungwan’s shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything, but you don’t have to hold it in, you know. If not me, talk to someone.” Slowly, Seungwan turned to look at the woman and felt herself go still. The woman’s eyes were lifted upwards, gazing over her head. Lips pressed tight, the woman noticed her looking and suddenly looked down, their eyes meeting.

Her own eyes then drifted up, looking at the empty air above the woman’s head. No floating numbers, just an emptiness. She wondered if this woman was like her or had already found her love. “Kim Jisoo,” the woman said and held a hand out to her. “I think we’re going to become good friends, Seungwan.”

She felt like the room was spinning about her as she reached out and took the woman’s hand, their fingers gently closing before shaking. As she drew her hands back, felt dry as she croaked, “You’re Jennie’s girlfriend.”

“Hopefully fiance,” Jisoo said and her bright red lips curled into a smile. “Which is why we’re going to be besties. It felt like the ghost of Joohyun was floating over us and then you entered the scene. They can move on and because of that, I’ll be forever in your debt.” There was an air of excitement that built in Jisoos voice as she spoke. It was almost infectious, the way Jisoos eyes seemed to light up, the excitement pouring out of her. Seungwan couldn’t help but smile.

She wanted to warn Jisoo about the things she saw, the numbers counting down in sequence and the worry it had brought back. Instead, she simply stepped to the girl and flung her arms about her. Jisoo let out a soft sound of surprise and then the woman’s arms returned that hug, pulling in Seungwan close. “Okay, a little fast on the friendship but I can go with it,” Jisoo said with a laugh.

Seungwan pulled back, blushing at her own forwardness. “It’s just that I want you and Jennie to be a couple forever,” Seungwan said, her voice full of emotion. Both hope and dread mingling together in a strange mix. “Because then I can have Joohyun forever. Is that selfish of me?”

“Heck no,” Jisoo said with a laugh as she reached up to wave off that thought. “When I found out Joohyun was dating, I got so happy. I began to push Jennie towards finally closing that chapter of her past. Finding resolution,” Jisoo said as she leaned a hip against the counter, crossing her legs at the ankles. She flashed Seungwan a brilliant smile, “So what has you so down?”

Seungwan drew in a long, sharp breath. Her eyes looked past Jisoo to the heavy wooden door of the bathroom with brass fixtures, the busy restaurant beyond it. “I started dating Joohyun knowing that eventually, she would belong to someone else.” The way Jisoo cocked her head, full of honest curiosity, almost made Seugwan spill out her entire story. Something about this woman felt genuine, her interest keen but instead she just shrugged and continued, “but then I grew to believe she would be mine. That I could claim her and love her and be happy.” 

She felt her chest growing tight as she spoke, the memory of what she had believed all her life, so sure and steadfast, conflicted with the newness of Sejeong’s revelation. “Then do it,” Jisoo said as she pushed off the counter and reached out to grab Seungwan’s arms, giving her a light shake. “We’re in this together.”

“Joohyun scares you, doesn’t she?” Seungwan said slowly and that smile on Jisoo’s lips threatened to falter. It wavered a moment before the woman dropped her head, eyes closing and a small laugh exuding from .

“I’m afraid of ghosts,” Jisoo said after a long moment of silence. “Ghosts of the past. Ghosts of a love that I have to fight every day. I always believed that love doesn’t go away but it lessens.” She sighed and then looked up again, her eyes soft, staring into Seungwans as she said in a near whisper, “Joohyun will always have purchase in Jennie’s heart. I can live with that as long as I get the greater share of the love.”

Seungwan’s heart went out to Jisoo, the desperation to be loved by the person she adored. She knew this pain, felt it down to her very core. Sooyoung had long told her that this, “I love watching others fall in love,” was a poor substitute. Now, watching Jisoo pouring out her heart, afraid to lose the person she had set her heart on, made her realize Sooyoung was right. She had been allowing herself to live a life where her greatest joy was simply a consolation prize.

“Thank you,” Seungwan said, tears starting to well in her eyes. She flashed a wide smile, eyes narrowing as she felt hot tears begin to stream down her cheeks. 

Jisoo made a small yelp and quickly began to grab tissues from the counter, her voice almost frantic as she said, “Omo! I didn’t mean to make you cry,” and she began to dab the small rivulets that poured down Seungwan’s cheeks. Jisoo stopped when she felt Seungwan’s hands reach up to cup her own, the small girl’s eyes seeming to shine happily.

“I was seconds from running away,” Seungwan said, her voice lilting, “but you showed up just in time. Maybe our meeting like this was destiny.”

Jisoo started at her, unsure what to say for a long moment before curling her lips into a wry smile and saying, “I don’t believe in destiny anymore.”

“Me either,” Seungwan whispered.

***

Joohyun had been worried about how long Seungwan was taking, her conversation with Jennie feeling a touch strained. They seemed to dance around topics, trying to keep things light, but neither saying what needed to be said. Neither searching for that final closure of what they had been. She knew it would come, eventually, but dreaded that final scene.

She wasn’t afraid of the fight or what Jennie would think of her. She dreaded facing her own shortcomings, seeing just what kind of person she had been. There was no doubt in her mind she had done Jennie wrong, letting their relationship crumble. It was the worry she might do the same to Seungwan, falling into old habits and letting her work life take priority over her love life.

The revelation that she and Jennie shared numbers weighed heavy on her. She knew how strong Seungwan’s belief had been in them, the way the girl used them as a compass in regards to what was true and not. She honestly wasn’t sure if she believed they existed, that Seungwan might be a touch delusional. With anyone else, that fact alone would have made her draw away but Seungwan was special.

She saw herself not with Seungwan in the now, but in the future. She had been in love with Jennie back then, but it had been a transitory thing, her emotions mired in what they were doing. The idea of them being together, forever and ever, had never crossed her mind. “Maybe that’s why I let her go so easily,” Joohyun thought to herself.

They had sat there, quiet for almost five minutes, both looking about and not daring to meet one another’s gaze. When she saw Seungwan snaking through the restaurant, she felt relief pour through her. As she began to stand, to wave at Seungwan, she found herself falling back in her seat. Jisoo, the girl’s face split in a laugh and her eyes shining, was walking beside Seungwan, the pair of them talking animatedly.

“They became friends fast,” Jennie said. Joohyun didn’t need to look over to see the scowl on Jennie's face. She could hear it. 

“Don’t be like that,” Irene chided. “You know how quick Jisoo makes friends. Her personality seems to just draw people in.”

“I know,” Jennie said with a sigh. “I love that about her but it scares me. There are far too many pretty girls floating about her.” Those words made Joohyun roll her eyes and she gazed over at Jennie, the girl leaning back in her chair, arms lashed across her ribs and a frown pulling deep at her lips. There wasn’t any malevolence in Jennie’s eyes as she watched. Just worry. She realized these were the same eyes Jennie would give her when she said she had to work late.

“Jisoo has always been yours,” Joohyun said, her voice falling low and tender. “She’s loved you since the day you met and that’s something that will never change.” Jennie’s eyes slowly turned to her, head cocked and brow quirked, searching Joohyun’s face. There was only the true belief in Joohyun’s words there.

“And here are our beautiful ladies,” Jisoo said as she and Seungwan reached the table. “Sorry I’m late. My dad was bugging me about some fundraiser,” Jisoo said with a dramatic roll of her eyes. As she went to sit, Seungwan reached out and began to pull out the chair for her but a loud clearing of Jennie’s throat, a sound that was more ominous than anything, stayed Seungwan’s hands.

“I’ll do that, thank you,” Jennie said and she reached over, pulling out Jisoos chair though her eyes were on Seungwan, daring her to say anything.

“Okay, then,” Seungwan whispered before settling back down into her own seat. She looked away, afraid to meet Jennie’s glare. Beneath the table, hidden by the dangling white tablecloth, she felt Irene’s hand press against her leg, comfort in that touch, and her heart began to slow. 

“Jennie is a jealous kind of person,” Jisoo said in a way of apology as she offered Seungwan a smile. “She’s all bluster, though. She’ll pout and maybe throw a fit but then I just kiss her,” Jisoo’s grin deepend as she said, “and maybe a little more and all is well.” The way Jennie’s cheeks flushed red, eyes suddenly looking away and out the windows, not wanting to be met, told Seungwan one thing. Jisoo had Jennie well in hand.

“You never do change, do you?” Joohyun shook her head and gave a soft chuckle. Jisoo merely grinned and shrugged, not an ounce of shame in the woman’s body. 

“Now,” Jisoo said as she leaned forward, elbows planted on the table, “we should talk about custody.” 

“Custody?” Seungwan asked curiously. She glanced at Joohyun who shook her head. She had no idea what Jisoo was on about as well.

“We get Rose and Lisa every other weekend and Wednesday and Thursday. You guys get them Monday and Tuesday,” Jisoo said, eyes sparkling, her voice filled with a teasing tone and it was obvious the woman was struggling to keep from giggling. Jennie scoffed beside her. 

“I’m not paying child support,” Irene said flippantly. Jisoo threw her head back and let out a loud laugh that drew eyes. It was at that moment a server arrived, leather bound menus in hand. Jennie seemed apologetic enough for both her and Jisoo, her cheeks dark pink as she gave a contrite look at the server.

When Seungwan opened the menu, there was a tiny gasp in . Joohyunn looked over at her and could see eyes, wide and full of shock, scouring the menu. She fought the urge to laugh knowing that Seungwan was looking for the cheapest thing to order. Leaning over, she pressed her shoulder to Seungwan’s, head reaching up to whisper in her girlfriend’s ear, “I want you to order whatever you want. If it looks delicious, get it. I can afford this and I want to treat you well.”

As she drew back, Seungwan’s face softened, wide eyes slowly returning to normal. She could feel the girl begin to relax and she gave Seungwan’s knee another squeeze. After a moment, Seungwan’s lips pursed, the cute way they did when she concentrated, and Joohyun had to fight every urge to kiss them. “We can afford them,” Seungwan finally said, voice so low Joohyun almost missed it.

“We?”

Seungwan glanced at her sidelong, the girl’s mouth moving tightly as though afraid anyone else might hear as she said, “You and me. We.” Joohyun’s heart leapt into . The worry about Seungwan and the numbers, those invisible things that floated over her and Jennie’s head that only this pretty girl could see, gone. Seungwan was telling her she still wanted to be with her. To be a “We.”

***

The rest of the dinner had flowed smoothly, Jisoo pulling Jennie out of her shell. The girl that Joohyun had remembered, lively and full of smiles, returned as the meal had stretched on. She could see why she had fallen for Jennie but now, matured and with her youth mostly behind her, she couldn’t imagine herself with the girl now.

She was struck with how well Seungwan and Jisoo got along, the pair exchanging phone numbers under the pained eyes of Jennie, promising to keep in touch. She’d witnessed people do this before, promising but never following through. Having watched the pair laugh and tease, talk as though they had been old friends, made her believe it wasn’t just a promise.

If anything would heal the scar that existed between her and Jennie, she knew it was going to be those two. They would still have to get the last of it out, finish what Jennie had started that day she’d come to visit. She hadn’t expected to be confronted like that outside of her office, but Jennie rarely did what she expected.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Joohyun blinked and glanced over at Seungwan, the girl flashing a smile that could light up the dark sky. The night breeze was brushing across them, the street lights dim as they cast small globes on the cement beneath. They had opted to walk a bit, enjoy the night and let their food settle before going home. 

“I’m more interested in yours,” Joohyun said as she squeezed Seungwan’s hand, their fingers laced tight. She was pressed to the girl’s side, her other hand resting on Seungwan’s bicep. Joohyun realized it might look like she was clingy with Seungwan, but then again, she was. “Did you want to talk about the numbers?”

“They don’t matter,” Seungwan said with a shake of her head. “I got scared but that’s done.”

Joohyun wasn’t sure she believed Seungwan. She came to a stop, Seungwan jerking to a halt beside her. She craned her head forward, eyes seeking Seungwan’s as she said, “I need to know you’re okay. The thought of you being in anguish and not telling me,” Joohyun said, her voice pained, “I can’t stand it, okay?”

Seungwan looked about, eyes making sure nobody was around or watching, then placed a quick kiss on Joohyun’s lips. A flush overtook her cheeks and Joohyun reeled back, eyes darting about as well, her voice almost a whine, “Seungwan. Not in public.”

“Then how about not in public,” Seungwan ventured. Joohyun looked at her and could see the shy downcast of her eyes, the pink tinge on her ears and cheeks. She swallowed heavily. “You said you wanted to stay over at my place, right?”

Her heart thudded. Heat poured through her. Joohyun’s grasp on Wendy’s hand and arm tightened, her feet almost frantic as she turned the pair of them about. She began pulling Wendy with her as she started walking back towards the main street, the parking garage just a short walk from there.

Seungwan gave a laugh and her blush deepend as she said, “You really seem to be in a hurry, Joohyun.” Seungwan was absolutely right. She was.