Is this the happy ending that we've been yearning for?

To be in each other's arms as soon as the camera is nowhere to be seen. To interlock our fingers and hide them in the pocket of my hoodie so no one could see how your hand fits in mine ever so perfectly. To pretend to whisper beside your ear without anyone knowing that I touch your cheek with my lips ever so slightly.

No one should know a thing about us. We need to hide everything. 

That's why, our interactions in front of the public eye are not the same anymore. With you trying so hard to see me as a stranger on stage and stop pulling me into long embraces whenever we're near each other while singing. You never post photos of just the two of us anymore although I lose it in me when I decided to upload the picture of us under the blanket. The desperate side of yours who hides your longing for me by seeking comfort in other people's arms whenever there are cameras around.

We are trying to make us work and I understand. I really do. But still, when you avert your eyes away from me while we walk past each other on stage it burns a hole in my chest. Every time I want to stalk your account, I always need to prepare myself for the lack of me in the bunch of photographs of yours. Having to hide the jealousy that's been burning inside of me with a smile that looks like a grimace is one of the hardest things that I need to do.

You and I both know, whenever there's just the two of us here with no one looking at us, is the moment when we are truly free. We no longer need to bury our feelings inside as we let out all of the pain that is suffocating us. Including the monster that is flaming the both of us, a feeling that is well known as jealousy.

"How's your date with Lisa?"

"It's fun! The weather is nice too, which is a plus."

"I bet the beach is fun too, hmm?"

"Yes! It's beautiful."

"Great! I'll go tomorrow."

Turning my head to see her face, I know there's a frown on my face when I ask, "With who?"

"With my dear best friend. You know her, Jisoo-ya."

She imitates Lisa's usual way of calling my name. That's when I realize I'm in a dangerous state now. Jendeukie being jealous since this afternoon when I'm out, while me who starts to get jealous too knowing she will go out tomorrow but not with me.

"Are you trying to take revenge on me?"

"What? Can't I go out with my longtime bestie?"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"But the words that you said reach to that conclusion."

Closing my eyes for a moment, I try to tone down the fire inside me. I do not want to ruin the beautiful night that's supposed to fill with love, not some toxic feelings.

In the middle of calming myself down, I get startled by the sudden warmth around me. "Don't be mad at me, Jichu." Her weak tiny voice crashes my heart so much that I immediately kiss her without warning. I know she loves this kind of little surprise a lot and although she's shocked, she does not waste any time reciprocating my touch on her lips. With one last peck, I rub my nose against hers affectionately while whispering, "It's my fault baby, I should have considered your feelings when I'm out with Lisa."

"No, no. You guys are best of friends, and seeing her taking care of you warms my heart, whether I want to admit it or not. Your life is not only revolving around me and I should know that-"

"But you still can't help feeling jealous over it, right?" I cut her off as I feel the need to share my feelings with her. "You know, I feel the same. Chahee is also your best friend and I don't want to be a possessive lover who only ties you up with me. But we just can't help it. We love each other too much that this certain feeling ends up entering our hearts all the time."

Slowly but surely, a smile appears on her face that makes her brown orbs shine in my eyes. "Only you who could understand me, unnie."

"Just like how you understand me without words needed."

===

She fixes her gaze on the picture for a while. Every little thing that is shown in one of the most beautiful photos of the two of them is crystal clear in her eyes. Although both of their faces are half-covered the post caption says it all, only eyes mattered. The door to her soul is out there for everyone to see, but only one person would truly understand the hidden gem beneath those eyes. And that certain someone is sleeping next to her right now.

Biting her own lips, she watches the angelic features with a small smile on her face. The way that chest would rise and fall in a peaceful state warms her heart immediately. But she cannot stop the way her eyes feel like burning right now.

"Jendeukie? You're not sleeping yet?"

She gets out of her trance upon taking in the deep voice that she misses a lot, although she hears it every day. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Baby? Why are you crying?"

What? She runs her fingers under her eyes but a hand immediately stops her in doing anything. "No don't wipe them away, let me do it. Lay down beside me, Jen."

The feeling of being in your lover's arms is overwhelming as she just stares deeply into the softest pair of eyes that she ever has seen. The owner of those dark orbs opens up her lips to speak again. "Tell me, what makes your beautiful face covers up in tears?"

"I hate myself for not being able to post any photos of us when you even posted one of our precious memories." 

"I hate myself even more for couldn't give you the attention that you deserve blatantly in front of everybody."

"I hate myself the most for hurting you, unnie."

Once again, she receives the tight embrace that brings such a bittersweet feeling for both of them. She relies on this woman so much that she finds all the answers to her problems whenever she is with her.

"All you ever did was to protect us, there's nothing wrong about you. Life isn't always about rainbows and sunshine, the same as love. We will struggle, we will get hurt, and we will feel the hardships that suffocate us. But there's 'we' in it, right? We will endure it together, through everything because I'll never let go of your hand. The pain that I feel, you feel the same as well, that's what makes us stronger, baby."

Fingers tracing every curve of her body, as the husky voice fills the emptiness in her soul. 

"Let me love you, until the hatred that you feel about yourself loses its battle against your affection toward me."

.

She attempts to glance at anything other than Kim Jisoo but no matter how hard she tries, she never succeeded. How could she when the red hair woman looks so hot tonight that goddesses could not even compare with her? So she can only look at her from afar while letting out all of her for their performances. Whenever she sees her keep reaching for the bottle of water or pressing her hand on her back, she can not help but feel even more concerned.

Jisoo is sick but the only thing that she does is to keep observing her every move secretly.

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