Three and a half hours of sleep was not enough time process what had happened the night before. 

Typically, Taeil would get up before Johnny and leave around the time Johny awakened. They would say good morning and Johnny would give Taeil a little sleepy smile that sent his heart racing, like a good luck charm for the rest of the day. But today Taeil got ready as quickly as he could, putting on whatever clothes were nearby, not even brushing his hair. He couldn't care less how he looked, as long as he avoided his roommate. 

They had to talk about it but Taeil didn't want to; he wasn't ready, he didn't think his heart could take the disappointment of Johnny's rejection just yet. 

Anyways, Taeil needed coffee. The bitter taste left him feeling kind of gross but he didn't care. He was running on three and a half hours of sleep and post kiss adrenaline, but it wasn't nearly enough to keep him alive and able to handle the rest of the day.

He sighed when he got his overly sweetened drink; of course it had to taste like Johnny's mouth had last night, he should have remembered Johnny's stupid caffiene addiction. Everything Johnny was just following him wherever he went; he couldn't avoid his roommate as hard as he tried. At least today their schedules were pretty conflicting; usually on Thursdays Taeil didn't see Johnny until very late at night. 

But when Taeil got back to class Johnny was sitting at his desk. He quickly looked up, like he had been anxiously awaiting for Taeil to come back. 

"Hey!" Johnny said in his usual cheerful tone, although there was a nervous inflection in his voice. 

"Hey...don't you have class?" Taeil responded, not moving from the doorway. 

"I, um, skipped it," Johnny answered with an awkward shuffle. "I didn't wanna wait to talk to you." 

Taeil winced and his heart dropped into his stomach. "Oh...okay." 

"So...um...?"

"Gimme a minute. I have to...go to the bathroom," he lied, throwing his backpack onto his bed and running down the hall to the bathroom. He almost slammed the door and locked it, staring into the mirror. 

"," Taeil whispered to himself. Despite thinking about it all during class, he still wasn't mentally prepared for what was about to happen.

The kiss....oh my god. The kiss itself had been fantastic, amazing, world ending. If Taeil thought about it hard enough he could still feel Johnny's warm, soft, perfect lips on his own, sighing a little bit just at the thought.

Taeil shook himself out of it. "Focus," he mumbled in the mirror to himself. He had to steel himself for any possible outcome, glaring at his own reflection. 

First, Johnny could have done that to try and sleep with Taeil. That was an extremely unlikely phenomenon, Taeil thought, as he was ugly as , but with the way Johnny had been complimenting him last night, perhaps that was what he wanted. Would Taeil do it, if Johnny asked? Probably, he thought with a sigh in the mirror. As terrifying as the thought was, he couldn't reject Johnny in any capacity. He'd do it for him. It would kill Taeil for Johnny to ignore him and treat him like just a friend afterwards, though. But he would still do it. 

Second, maybe Johnny did it is a prank. Taeil didn't think this one was likely either, because Johnny was the nicest person he'd ever met, and if Johnny had just been tricking him, it would break his heart. 

Third, maybe Taeil had been the one to kiss Johnny. His memory was a little foggy, as he'd been incredibly distracted to think about the actual dynamics of the kiss. Maybe Johnny had no part to play in it and Taeil had just jumped him. Again, that scenario was unlikely too, because when would Taeil ever have the courage to just kiss someone like that? But perhaps the heat of the moment had led him to do things he wouldn't usually. Maybe now, Johnny wanted to tell him that he doesn't like him at all and he was uncomfortable because Taeil just kissed him like that and he wants a room transfer and to never talk to him again and-

"Focus," Taeil repeated to himself in the mirror, a little more aggressively this time. If he let himself go on tangents like that, he'd probably never be able to face Johnny. 

He sighed. FInally, the fourth scenario: Johnny knew. Johnny knew about Taeil's feelings all along, he had known since they'd first sprung up, and Johnny wanted to give him something to go off of before he put in his formal rejection. This scenario was the most likely, the one Taeil was most preparing himself for. Johnny's the nicest person Taeil's ever known so of course he would do it so gently, he'd say he wanted to stay friends and roommates, he would still be kind and he'd apologize for rejecting Taeil, and Taeil would lie and have to say it's alright, and he wouldn't have anywhere to cry because Johnny's his ing roommate but he would cry, because as much as Taeil knew he'd never have a chance that would still hurt. 

"Taeil?" Johnny called from their room in a soft voice, pulling Taeil from his thoughts. "Are you alright in there?" 

"B-be right there," Taeil stuttered in response. He couldn't put it off any more; he had to face this. 

He flushed the toilet to make sure no one knew how hard he'd been thinking, splashing some water on his face and pushing his hair back. His hands shook so much he could barely do anything, partially from the coffee he'd drank that morning, mostly from everything else. He sighed, again, and with a wince pushed his way out of the bathroom. 

He slowly walked down the hall and came back in, noticing Johnny's worried expression. Was he nervous too? Well, of course he would be, rejecting someone was hard. 

"D-do you wanna sit on my bed?" Taeil barely managed to ask. 

"Yeah, sure," Johnny said quietly, the two sitting down on the bottom bunk. Johnny scooted back so he was leaning against the wall, most of his lower legs hanging off of the bed. Taeil followed suit, his feet barely reaching the edge. Neither of them looked at the other, and Taeil didn't even know if he could have. 

"Taeil...um...well..." He sighed. ", here goes nothing," Johnny said in english, then shaking his head to switch back to Korean. "Um, I guess I've, done, everything? I mean I flirt with you constantly and... you haven't really done anything back, so I should've given up ages ago... when we were dared to kiss those months ago I could even feel your hesitation. And it's just so clear you just don't feel the same so I don't even know why I'm bothering to tell you, but, well...I like you. Taeil oh my god I like you so much, I have from the moment we met. I tried to stop myself but I just couldn't, , I don't even know if you like guys, let alone me. I just...I just like you. A lot. I"m sorry." Johnny spared Taeil a brief glance before looking back down at his lap. "I'll let you talk now." 

Taeil's mouth was agape. He had not even thought of this scenario. He was not prepared. What? 

"Y-you can't like me..." Taeil said breathlessly, like he wasn't really all there. And he really wasn't all there, and he wasn't even sure where the other part of him was. He was so shocked he couldn't even be excited, or happy. 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Johnny answered, his voice cracking, but Taeil didn't even hear him. 

"Hyungil...Hyungil's next door....in the same suite..."

"I know, I know, Taeil I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I feel this way, I should've never told you, I should've tried to hide it more. It's really okay if you don't like me, you know? It's really okay I promise. I'll get a room transfer to make things less awkward, and we can still be friends, or not! We don't have to be friends any more if you're too uncomfortable. It's okay! It's totally okay!" 

It obviously wasn't okay, Johnny's voice was strained and breaking and he was chewing on his lip almost until it bled but Taeil was still in a state of pure shock. 

"But nobody knows...nobody knows I like guys...I mean except Ten but...and...we share a room...how could you like me if we've shared a room...you've seen me at my worst..." Johnny froze at that, just listening in surprise. Taeil's voice slowly became less breathy; he was finally coming back down to earth, rationalizing himself out of getting the thing he'd wanted most in the world. "I-I mean, you've probably seen me change, how could you like me after seeing my body? I mean...Johnny, Johnny, you can't like me. How could you ever like me? I'm not good enough for you, I'm just not, I'm nothing compared to you. You just can't...like me." 

Johnny shook his head. "But wait, Taeil, I'm confused...do you like me?" 

Taeil nodded. Johnny let out a large breath, slightly smiling, slightly just shocked. 

"A-are you sure?" 

"Yeah..."

"Why are you sad then? We can be together!" Johnny said excitedly, smiling at Taeil. 

"B-b-but...my brother, but, me..." 

"Is there some reason you don't want to date?" Johnny asked seriously. 

Taeil sighed, finally sounding like a normal human being. "Johnny, I'm not good enough for you. You deserve someone better." He still couldn't look at Johnny, only staring down at his jeans. 

Johnny visibly deflated. "Taeil...I like you so much...okay? I promise. I promise I like you. I'll do anything to prove it. I know how insecure you get sometimes but you've got to trust me on this one. I really like you." 

Finally, Taeil's brain clicked. Johnny likes him back. Johnny really does like him back. 

"I didn't prepare for this scenario," he said softly, slowly beginning to smile. Johnny smiled back, happy that his words were finally getting into Taeil's brain. He finally looked at Johnny, hands shaking. "Are you sure you like me?" 

"A hundred percent. I liked you from the moment I saw you." 

Taeil looked away, smiling but turning bright red. Johnny chuckled at the sight. 

"I still don't really get it, but I mean, if you promise that you like me... I can believe you." 

"Taeil, when have I ever lied to you?" Taeil rolled his eyes at that; Johnny had never lied to him.  "Anyways, what don't you get?" 

"I don't get why you like me..." 

Johnny shifted his massive body so he was facing Taeil completely, leaning his whole side against the wall, his legs curling up on the small bed. "Do really want me to list all the reasons? I could go on for quite a while." 

"I kinda do..." Taeil answered with a giggle. 

"Okay, I'll start with the big things, like how kind you are to everyone, even your brother and parents who have been nothing but awful to you...I like how dedicated you are to things, your friends, your schoolwork, your singing, even though sometimes I wish you'd just take a break and rest...oh and of course your singing, I mean, when I heard you at the concert, Taeil, I could feel my heart beating so hard, kinda like right now," Johnny said, suddenly picking up Taeil's hand and putting it over his heart. Taeil blushed even harder, Johnny's heart was beating really hard, and he wasn't sure if the thought of Johnny being just as excited and nervous as he was made him feel better or worse. But he finally turned toward Johnny, even though he was still too nervous to look him in the eye, curling up his legs and leaning against the wall to face him, his hand still on Johnny's chest. 

"And Taeil," Johnny continued. "I like the way you notice people, how observant you are about everything, except, well, that I like you...I like the way you think everything through... I like the way you look all the time, but especially when you laugh, or smile with your teeth showing...I like the way your eyes just kinda sparkle...all the time. I like how cute you are when you're frustrated or annoyed, and I like giving you hugs because you're so tiny! Ugh, Taeil...I...." 

Taeil looked down at the floor of their room, his eyes wet with tears not yet released. He didn't know what to say. No one had ever, said anything like that to him before. He felt....he wasn't sure, he just knew there were a lot of emotions inside him at that moment.

"Taeil are you okay?" Johnny suddenly interrupted himself, looking at Taeil with concern. 

Taeil nodded, very embarrassed. "You really like me..." he said quietly. 

"Oh my god don't cry! Taeil..." Johnny said, both of them smiling a bit. Taeil sniffled at love at his own ridiculousness, finally looking up at Johnny and immediately feeling like he was going to explode. 

"Oh my god how are you so handsome," Taeil mumbled very quietly, and Johnny immediately laughed. 

"I could say the same for you," Johnny mumbled back, leaning in closer. 

"Are you sure?" Taeil said quietly. 

"Yes," Johnny answered, barely above a whisper now, leaning closer. 

"Sure?" 

"Yes," Johnny breathed out, leaning closer, his eyes briefly glancing down at Taeil's lips.

"Sure?" Taeil whispered. 

Johnny just nodded and finally pressed his lips to Taeil's, kissing him so delicately and gently. It was different from their kiss during seven minutes in heaven, and different from their kiss the night before. It was ecstatic, a kiss of relief, a kiss of finality, that all of that buildup hadn't been for nothing. Taeil finally let the truth of it sink into his chest. Johnny likes him. Johnny likes him. Johnny is kissing him because he likes him. It may not be something he can rationalize or explain, but Johnny has his reasons. Johnny thinks so highly of him, and he likes him. They like each other. 

Taeil didn't think this would ever happen. Ever. But it was happening, and with exactly the person he wanted, the perfect person for him. It felt impossible, it felt unreal, but Johnny's lips sure were real. 

Really, they only pulled away from the kiss because they needed to breath, laughing a little together. 

"I'm so dramatic," Taeil said quietly. 

"Me too, me too," Johnny answered. "But wait, Taeil...how long have you liked me for?" 

Taeil blushed. "Since...like...the beginning of the semester. But I didn't realize it for a while, because...well, I didn't even realize I liked guys until I met you." 

"Oh...wow...so I awakened your homouality?" 

They both laughed. "I guys you could say that..." 

"But if you liked me that long, why didn't you ever flirt back with me? You just always seemed so hesitant around me..." 

"Wait.... you were flirting with me?" 

Johnny gave him an incredulous look before laughing loudly. "Yes! Wasn't I being obvious? Ten was constantly scolding me for it." 

"That's what Ten was always saying to you?" 

"Yes! You're the most observant person I've ever met, except when it comes to yourself. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad..." 

"Why is it sad?" 

"I don't you...you think you're unattrative and that nobody thinks you're good at anything...but I swear, people always check you out in public, and at the choir competition your little solo section got more applause than entire songs. It's sad that you don't realize see yourself how other people see you." 

Taeil sighed softly and looked at Johnny shyly. He was still so shocked over Johnny liking him back that he couldn't even think about everything else he'd just said. 

"But seriously... were you really flirting with me?" 

"Yes!" Johnny cried. "Everyone in the dorm knows how I feel, I swear. They say I'm so cringy for being so obvious." 

"Oh my god..." Taeil answered softly, and Johnny gently took Taeil's hands in his own, interlacing their fingers. Gently, he rubbed circles onto Taeil's skin, and Taeil almost felt like he was going to die. 

"But it doesn't matter now. None of that stuff does. I like you, you like me, crazily enough..." 

"Johnny, can I ask you something kinda weird?" Taeil said, more quietly. 

Johnny's expression became a bit more worried, but he didn't stop playing with Taeil's fingers. "Of course, what's up?" 

"...what happens now? I mean, I've never been in this situation before..." 

Johnny laughed. "Oh, well...I mean, I'll take you out on some dates, whenever you're free...and I mean, if you want, we can call ourselves boyfriends..."

"Really?" Taeil said, his mouth open in surprise. 

"Yeah. I didn't know if you'd want that, but I mean, that's what I want..." 

"You're not embarrassed?"

"Of what?"

"Of me?" 

Johnny looked at him with a deadpan expression. "After everything I've said, you still think I could ever be embarrassed to be your boyfriend? You should be embarrassed to be dating me." 

Taeil hummed, Johnny was sort of kind of right. But it was still crazy to think about. 

Johnny smiled. "Okay, wait, since we're being dramatic today, let me ask this officially...Taeil, will you be my boyfriend?" 

"Yes!" Taeil said excitedly, the two beaming at each other. Johnny laughed, unable to contain his joy at seeing Taeil so happy, all because of him, squeezing Taeil's tiny hands in his own big ones. 

"So, um, we're boyfriends now," Taeil said, barely resisting the urge to squeal. 

"Yes we are, finally," Johnny answered. 

"Um....can I kiss you then?" Taeil asked, so quickly Johnny barely understood what he said.

Johnny laughed. "Of course, Taeil." And they leaned in, and kissed, and just talked and kissed the rest of the day away, not caring how much school they missed. And in those moments, everything was right with the world.