A/N: oh my god...I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted a new chapter. I am so, so sorry y'all. I really have been busy but I'll try my best to go back to the once a week or so chapter updates that I did when I first started this story :( hope yall enjoy it!

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"As you all know, we have our competition this Saturday! So we have six more days to prepare," the student choir director spoke to the group. It was almost the end of pratice and his nerves were buzzing; it was Taeil's first time participating in a university level choir competition. "All the solos and duets have already been given out," the director continued, "But our group songs have some small sections perfect for mini solos. Today, I'm going to give those out." The auditorium fell silent except for the sounds of people muttering quietly to their friends under their breaths. "Here it goes," the choir director said, and he began to list off names and song sections from a paper on his clipboard. There weren't many surprises; the people listed had some of the best voices on choir but for one reason or another didn't get a solo or a duet. 

"And finally...Moon Taeil!" 

Around him, the room seemed to fall completely still. He couldn't believe it; had Taeil misheard? No, everyone was looking at him. Taeil shook his head a little, concentrating enough to be able to write down his song name and section, but he was still not functioning properly. Was it a joke? Was it a trick? Mayb he was just randomly chosen because they ran out of good singers. 

The director dismissed choir for the day and with his mouth still slightly agape, Taeil turned to the guy sitting next to him. 

"Excuse me, I know this is a stupid question, but...did they actually call my name?" Taeil asked. 

The boy next to him chuckled, but it was friendly. "Of course. I mean, I think everyone already knew you'd get one."

Taeil's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean...you're good." The guy hitched his backpack over his shoulders. "Alright, I gotta go to class. See you around!" He walked out of the door, and Taeil was too surprised to even wave goodbye. 

"Hey Taeil, can we talk to you?" The choir leader called. 

"S-sure," Taeil answered. They were going to tell him now that it was all a joke or a mistake, he was sure. 

"Taeil, is everything alright?" One of the student choir leaders asked. 

"Y-yeah," he stuttered back. 

"It's just, I promise we would've given you a full solo if you weren't a freshman, it's really unfair but sometimes seniority trumps actual talent and the higher-ups would've thrown a fit, this was the most we could give you. We're really sorry." 

"Wait, what?" Did...did they think he was disappointed? "I'm not upset, I promise. I'm just really shocked I got a solo at all! I really wasn't expecting it." 

Both choir directors visibly breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you're not disappointed," the girl director spoke. "But you shouldn't be so surprised. You definitely work harder than anyone else, not to mention that voice." 

"You guys are too nice," Taeil said. 

"Nah," the guy director answered. "We're just being truthful." 

Taeil smiled shyly down at the ground; he'd never been complimented this much, especially by people he so respected. 

"Thank you," Taeil spoke sincerely. 

"You're welcome," the girl answered. 

"Now, we've gotta clear out of the auditorium. Go practice hard!" 

"I will. Thank you guys again!" Taeil waved and ducked out of the room. 

Taeil was beyond happy at that point; he was elated. Yes, nerves bubbled up in his stomach at the idea of performing all by himself, even if it was just sixteen counts. But this is the first time he could show off a skill he'd been perfecting since he was in the sixth grade. He knew that self validation should not come from the outside world. But, maybe since other people thought he was talented, perhaps he could imagine himself as talented. Taeil practicaly skipped down the empty hallway, the smile neever leaving his face. He felt a little ridiculous, but hey, it was his first solo, right? He deserved to feel this way. 

Maybe, just maybe...Taeil's parent's would actually come to the choir competition. They had never actually heard Taeil sing, it really hadn't mattered before, since he was placed in the back and you could barely hear his voice. They always showed up to Hyungil's sports games, so they had the time. Come to think of it, he'd invited Hyungil too. Taeil had gone to enough of Hyungil's games in his life; maybe Hyungil would actually show up for him. Normally Taeil would say that would be impossible, but Hyungil seemed to be kind of a loser here at uni. Maybe he'd have nothing better to do. 

"Hey Taeil!" Speak of the devil... there Hyungil was, entering the same building Taeil was leaving, calling his name. Taeil's suspicions were confirmed; Hyungil had definitely become a loser: in high school, Hyungil would pretend they weren't even related. But Taeil couldn't be too annoyed or upset, he was still excited from getting his small solo. 

"Hey!" Taeil responded. 

"Where are you headed?"

"Oh, back to the dorm, I guess." 

"Are you done for the day?"

Taeil nodded. "Yeah, just finished choir practice."

"Oh yeah. I saw a sign for a competition Saturday. Are you gonna be in that?" 

"Yeah, of course."

"Standing in the back like usual?"

Taeil rolled his eyes, but even his brother's mean comments couldn't kill his happy mood. "No, actually, I have a small solo. You know...you should come," Taeil said, turning a little shy. 

"Dude, I totally would, but I have a game that day." Taeil nodded slowly in understanding. Hyungil didn't get into any of the school run sports teams, but he was in an intramural football club. Taeil knew Hyungil was telling the truth. Anyways, he cared much more about his parents coming. He had to prove his own talent and worth, outside of his brother, and this choir event seemed like the best way to do it. 

"That's alright," Taeil answered sincerely. 

"Alright, I got class, so I gotta go." 

Taeil smiled. "Okay! See you around." They waved and went their separate ways. As Taeil walked up the stairs back to the dorm, he smiled to himself. That was the most pleasant interaction he'd had with his twin in a long time, and it felt so good to think maybe his brother was finally changing for the better. Yes, the snide comments were still there, but they were becoming fewer and further between. Taeil didn't exactly want to be Hyungil's friend, but maybe they could be truly civil, and perhaps one day, Taeil could receive the apology he'd always deserved. 

Finally he reached the dorm, throwing his things onto his bed. Immediately he reached for his phone, flopping on his desk chair and dialing his home phone. He was bouncing in his seat, his fingers trembling. 

"Hello?" His father answered after two rings.

"Hi! It's me." 

"Oh, Taeil, hey. What's up?" Taeil was too overjoyed to notice his father's disinterest. 

"Is mom there?"

His father sighed. "I'll go get her." 

"I wanna talk to you guys together." 

"Alright." There was a slight pause, a muffled conversation, and a click of a button as Taeil's dad turned the phone on speaker. 

"Taeil," His mom spoke, seeming almost annoyed by his call. But Taeil brushed it off as her being busy. 

"Sorry to bother you guys. How's everything at home?" 

"Same as always," his mother answered. 

"Now, um...why'd you call?" His dad asked. Taeil grimaced; they must have been confused because he almost never called. But it was only because they seemed to disinterested when he did call, and he did call a lot that first week. 

"So...I'm in choir here at school, right? And we're having a competition this Saturday, and..." His voice became quieter. "I was wondering if you guys wanted to come." 

There was a long pause. "Aren't you just going to be in the back again?" His dad asked. 

"Nope!" Taeil answered with a proud smile, even though his parents couldn't see it. "I'm in the second row, and I even have a little solo! It's not much, but it's something." 

"Doesn't Hyungil have a game that day?" Taeil's mother piped up. His heart immediately began to sink; he knew what was coming next. 

"I mean, yeah. Did he ask you guys to come yet?"

"No, but we keep track of his schedule," his mom answered. 

"We have to support Hyungil at his game. We can't come, I'm sorry," his father spoke. 

Taeil took a deep breath. Part of him already felt defeated, he knew he couldn't change their minds. But God, he was so ing desperate to make them proud, just once. 

"B-but," he protested, "I-I actually have a solo! A-and it's a really big deal, if we win the competition we might go to regionals!" Taeil knew that Hyungil's game didn't mean nearly as much, it was just a friendly match between two clubs. But Taeil couldn't say this or his parents would turn on him even more. 

"Taeil, we just can't. It means so much to your brother," she said. 

"It means a lot to me too!" Taeil cried, silencing both of his parents. He sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just...you've never come to any event I've had. And I didn't care before, I was just in the back, but now I actually get to shine a little. Please. It would mean so much to me." 

He was met with a long pause. "I'm sorry," his father said after what felt like the longest moment of his life. "We can't come." 

Taeil took a deep breath, forcing his emotions down until he could get off the phone. This was it. He'd done all he could, but they weren't going. There was nothing he could do now.

"Alright," Taeil responded, schooling his voice into robotic calmness. "That's okay." 

"Good," his father answered. 

"Alright, well, we've got to go," his mother added. "Goodbye." 

"Goodbye," Taeil responded, hanging up as soon as his fingers would allow. He put his phone face down as far away from him as possible. He put his head on the desk and wrapped his arms around his face. 

He should have known. He should have known that his parents would never come to something of his, no matter how important it was to him. Taeil had a feeling that even if Hyungil's game hadn't been on the day of the competition, his parents would have found some excuse to get out of coming. Taeil sniffled, wiping a few tears from his eyes. Even though he was alone, he was beyond embarrassed. He just should have ing known. 

Despite everything his parents had done to him, Taeil still wanted them to be proud of him. Just once he wanted them to look at him with half the amount of love and admiration they look at Hyungil with. But how was he supposed to make them proud when they wouldn't even give him the opportunity? They just seemed to miss or ignore every time he did well. 

Taeil groaned, wiping more tears off of his cheeks. It was his fault for getting his hopes up at all. If he'd just accpted the fact that none of his family would show up, he could have kept up that good mood he was in before. He had just made things so much worse for himself. 

He sat up, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes for the last time. This was pathetic. He'd always done choir events alone, nobody had ever showed up for him before. Why should this be any different? Why should he let himself care? Thinking about how excited he'd been, he was humiliated. It was barely a solo, barely a big deal, barely anything. He'd even let Hyungil see him that way, which would no doubt become material for teasing in the future. Anyways, he didn't have time for this emotional breakdown. He had so much work to do for his classes, and this late afternoon was the perfect time to catch up. 

Even though his head wasn't in the right place, Taeil managed to get some work done when Johnny came back from class. Taeil barely had the energy to greet him, hunched over his desk uncomfortably. Even though Johnny would have no idea, and the redness in Taeil's eyes had faded an hour ago, he was still embarrassed about how upset he'd been earlier. 

"How were your classes?" Johnny asked as he unloaded his backpack, wearing his usual joyful attitude. 

"Oh, fine. And yours?" Despite Taeil's dismal mood, he tried to match Johnny's positivity. He didn't want the American thinking anything was off. 

"Pretty good," Johnny responded." As Taeil stared down at his homework, Johnny gave him a long, concerned look. But Taeil didn't notice, and Johnny didn't pry. 

Johnny fell silent, still clearing out his backpack when he made a soft noise at a piece of paper. "Hey Taeil," he spoke, looking up. 

"Mmh?"

"I saw this sign hanging up in the cafeteria. Are you gonna be in it?" Taeil turned to look at his roommate for the first time that afternoon, and for just a moment he was distracted by how utterly handsome he looked. He never understood how his roommate could make a cheap t-shirt and jeans look so expensive. But immediately after, he noticed what was on the paper in his hands: to his chagrin, it was the flyer for the damn choir competition. Taeil held back a deep sigh; he did not want to talk about it. 

"Yeah," Taeil admitted defeatedly. 

"Oh." Johnny gave Taeil a confused look. "It's on Saturday, right?"

"Uh-huh," Taeil answered, returning to his work. 

Johnny looked down at the flyer, then back up at Taeil. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Y-yeah, yeah, of course," Taeil stuttered. He felt incredibly guilty; Johnny was just being nice, and Taeil was being so rude. But he couldn't shake the terrible, empty feeling that had settled in his stomach after that call with his parents. Even though he didn't like it, it was hard to stop this feeling from affecting Taeil on the oustide. 

"I stole this from the bulletin for you. I had a feeling you'd be in it, so I wanted to get you a souvenier." 

"Thanks," Taeil said softly as Johnny passed him the piece of paper. Taeil carefully flattened and folded it before tucking it in the corner of his desk. In that moment, he couldn't bear to look at it. 

"Did they put you in the back or something?" Johnny asked, his voice a pitch quieter. 

"No, not this time..." 

Johnny chuckled with relief. "Oh thank god. I would've rioted if they had. You've got such an amazing voice; I'm glad they're using it. And don't say I haven't heard your voice before; you were singing so loud in the shower the other day that I could hear it from our room." 

Taeil flushed and chuckled. He was embarrassed, but at least he was laughing. How did Johnny always manage to cheer him up when he was down? 

"Don't worry, I liked what I heard. Your voice is beautiful." Taeil blushed and shook his head, avoiding the intense eye contact Johnny was trying to make. Johnny had the power to always cheer him up, but he also had the power to always make him feel shy. "So, what'd they give you? A solo? Duet?" 

"A solo. But it's just a little bit of a song, it's not a big deal, it's nothing." Of course it wasn't nothing, and it was a big deal to Taeil, but his family hadn't treated it like a big deal, they'd treated it like it was meaningless. So as quickly as it had gone, Taeil's sad, empty mood came back. Johnny seemed to notice Taeil's bad mood come back, and his face fell. 

"It's not nothing. I'm really proud, but I mean, you deserve it." 

"I guess." 

Taeil watched as Johnny made faces at himself, seemingly trying to articulate his words. Johnny seemed upset, struggling, something Taeil almost never saw from him. 

"Do...do you not want me to come?"

At that, Taeil outright laughed. "You actually want to come?"

Johnny looked at him so earnestly. "Of course. I mean, I heard you in the shower, but I wanna hear you for real. And I want to be there to support you." 

Johnny's words went in one ear and out the other. Taeil couldn't believe Johnny wanted to go, especially since his family hadn't. His brain was convinced that Johnny was just saying this to make him feel better; that he was playing a trick. 

"I mean, I guess you can come, if you really want." 

"I do want to. But only if you feel comfortable with me going." 

"If you want to come, then come." Taeil didn't know quite how to react to this; after everything that had happened he was emotionally fried. He wasn't going to tell Johnny not to come, but he still couldn't believe his roommate slash crush was being honest. 

Johnny smiled. "Then I'll be there." 

Taeil held back a sad chuckle and shrugged. Johnny watched him carefully, and Taeil could feel him trying to read his bad mood. But Taeil wasn't going to talk about it; he was sick and tired of his emotions getting played with and just ing talking about this damn competition. He just wanted this day to be over. In fact, he wanted this whole competition to be over. He was just going to it up, wish he hadn't had a solo in the first place. But luckily, he believed that no one would be there to see it.