Do you remember, the sun that shone on us
The wide and blue ocean, just like yesterday
In those memories where time has stopped…

By June, Apink were flown to Jeju Island to film their music video Remember. A distinctly seasonal track, they would recreate nostalgic memories of youthful summer days in a bright and carefree way. It could almost be a vacation once again. 

From popping out of green fields to relaxing by the beachside, wet sand between their toes and sea salt in the air, the abundant filming spots were a reminder that these fantastical natural locations were sometimes closer than they imagined. 

Cameras rolled and captured the group as a beautiful glow of sunset fell on the coastline, and it didn't end there. They continued their shoots into the night with soft lights, sparklers, and the members daring a few embarrassing poses, like Naeun acting y and Eunji falling over from it in cringey laughter.

The leader could even come to Bomi's side now, of her own accord. At one point, Chorong set her hand just beside her on the sand, and like teenagers on a camping trip, their pinky fingers touched.

The little touch sent them those sparks; that electricity in the first place. It was Bomi who casually grinned at her lover in the ocean breeze, as one of the first people to want to share the moment with. And she was precisely in her element! Blonde hair coloured with bold pink chalk, the main dancer's visual was striking this time and embodied that sense of fun, and freedom.

Just these looks at each other could mean love, even when they were in front of other people, prepared to be Apink.

But in the lightness of turning back into a child and going along with Bomi, it's not the first time Chorong has been scared she will lose her mind.  

What if… one day they might look back on these days as the good times? At the peak of their lives, when we were in love; the good times she can't regret.

The pattern of thought had to change then. Perhaps that was why Chorong knew she couldn't say that same thing again: That they have to stay apart. That they have to stay away.

If it didn't work last time, why should she believe it will work this time?

It was their first comeback after their amazing achievement with LUV. That gave a lot of expectations. It was their first summer-themed comeback at the same time as a great number of girl groups, putting them in the middle between seniors and juniors.

If I tell her to stay away…

Fans aren't stupid. When they meet them in person, when their eyes and cameras capture everything, they'll see into that and see something wrong. And when it was comeback time, when it was time to be the Apink on stage they know and love, they've always cherished their authentic chemistry on and off camera.

Chorong had put much thought to it herself, especially in summer nights gone by in her sleepless bed, when she would kick Bomi back to her own room.

I can't do that to us.

It was just that Bomi more than anyone made her aware of how they touched.

She was reminded. In the past months, the feeling of being with Bomi at home and in public eased more. They still had their sweet and cheeky moments, their warm and weary moments. They linked arms in front of fans actually, and bickered about trivial things much to their members' displeasure as if they weren't the eldest of them all.

When they were resting by the rental house swimming pool and waiting for the next filming to start, Bomi had a playful look in her eyes and bravely placed one step to the left of Chorong's chair and swung another on her right. She hovered over the leader, smiles mirrored on each other's faces.  

It was all simply forgotten in the familiarity of playing with the members.

——

It wasn't all smooth sailing. Not all the time, as much as Chorong wished it would be.

After the music video filming, the girls had a little over a month to themselves, save for rehearsals and a few public appearances here and there. The leader grew more focused on preparations when the time drew near, going to the company practice rooms for extra lessons, and working out in pilates classes to get stronger. Chorong told herself she was working on herself and improving for the group, but… a part of her still held some hesitations too. 

Chorong eyed the front door as Bomi had gone out to play for the third time this week without her. 

"I'll see you after, unnie!"

Was she overthinking it?

When asked about her wishes in the beginning of the year, Chorong had wanted to challenge herself. She wanted to spend her free time meeting with friends and picking up a hobby so that she had something more to do. She figured a change for herself would feel better too. 

However, because of everything that happened at the beginning of the year to do with her feelings and Bomi, Chorong got side-tracked. She got consumed with all these things that she completely forgot. 

She's still home alone. 

"What do you do at home?" the MC asked.

"I clean, I watch TV… It's not that I want to stay alone, it's just that they are busy," Chorong said pitifully, referring to the members.

"Ohhh," fans in the audience sounded as the members froze into ice pillars. Guilty.

"Unnie, we went hiking together!" Bomi interjected.

"Just once?"

Chorong laughed as Bomi silenced with a wry expression. Yep. Even Bomi couldn't be saved. 

Though I'm not as active as the kids, actually…

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she must have thought that being in this relationship with Bomi would mean she might not be so alone all the time, unknowingly giving expectations to her lover to spend more time with her, although she's not sure which one she prefers; to spend it more with Bomi at home or to actually take the effort to go on dates like normal people. Like normal lovers. 

The latter had become the issue… never too sure about where they should go in public, with a manager at their back. They had talked about it. Or more like, Bomi had told her it was okay, "We don't have to date outside."

It was easier to keep a secret behind closed doors after all. 

But there was one fundamental problem. 

It's not like this relationship has actually changed the ways they function; the way Chorong loves clean spaces and staying home, the way Bomi still goes out at any time she feels like it… 

But Chorong still had her pride. It was useless to even say. They're already together anyway and she still sees Bomi. She still has her every day. Even if it's just a part of it. 

——

Today Bomi was catching up with Nana and a few friends, and going day-camping. 

Chorong nodded slowly when Bomi had told her. Among Bomi's friends, there sometimes came some names from the industry. Or maybe they weren't so close that they were friends, maybe just acquaintances, but they're even going camping… 

"Okay, have fun, Bbom-ah."

Her hands touched the first clothing from the laundry basket and began to fold in front of the TV. "Yah. Going yet?"

Bomi slid back across the floor with her socks in a cheeky expression. She bent over the couch arm, giving the leader a quick peck on the cheek. "Now I am. Okay, bye unnie!"

Chorong shook her head knowingly. It did brighten her for the moment. 

She could never face an empty home in her trainee years, but these days she spent all her waking time in one. And having time to herself wasn't necessarily a bad thing, so why? 

It was a weird queasy feeling to have, and she hadn't figured out yet what it reminded her of.

In the timing before their comeback, it was instead Bomi who had taken her free time to spend with friends she hadn't seen as much as possible. Unlike Chorong, it seemed the dancer was seriously catching up with someone every other day.

Friends since childhood, hometown mates, and even idol friends; Bomi knew more colleagues than she let on.

It surprised Chorong sometimes. She wasn't aware that Bomi was friends with this or that person, but Bomi would just wave it off saying it was because they don't meet up very often. And yet, for some reason, they can meet that easily now? Bomi's friendships with others can look so easy-going, hanging out any time she wants even if they haven't always kept in touch.

Although it was true that Bomi used to go out a lot as well, it appeared that hadn't necessarily changed. Among all their schedules recently, that one had been hard for Chorong to grasp. 

Chorong couldn't help but wonder.

Would Bomi ever introduce them to her one day? The friends she spends her other time with?

Huff, what's wrong with me right now... 

This wasn't even about strangers or gossip. These were Bomi's friends.

And Chorong had to admit she felt a little miffed over it. Not necessarily because it was Bomi's friends, but Bomi was spending so much more time with them lately, and even before that, Bomi went out on dates with the members a lot, and what about Chorong???

"Don't be jealous~" Bomi suddenly cooed to her that evening, cuddling into Chorong's side on the couch that made the older one blush again. For the touch or accusation, she couldn't tell. But Bomi was only joking around. 

I… jealous… 

"As if!" Chorong scoffed, an unjust feeling in her talking back. I'm not jealous, not at all.

When before there was some discomfort in being too similar and "sister-like", now maybe they were being too different. 

They had gone hiking once, and that was it. It feels like they never went out again. Maybe Chorong was exaggerating, but suddenly her thoughts on it seemed to have changed. She didn't know why. 

"Is this going to keep happening? You go out and I'm at home," Chorong sulked.

"What? Hey, of course it won't, unnie. It's just for this month since I had the free time to. And I thought that with our comeback, we'll already be seeing a lot more of each other."

Bomi's view made some sense. Chorong could only sigh at herself. "I… suppose that's true… We'll be really busy through promotions."

"But we'll be together," Bomi reminded her with a nudge. "And that's always the best part."

Caught in that unexpected sincerity, Chorong lost the thought she had with a bashful chuckle. "Yeah. It is."

"Besides, I thought you liked being at home, unnie."

"Just because I like being at home doesn't mean I don't get lonely too, you know."

Bomi's mouth quirked. "You know, unnie, maybe what you need is to get outside more like me, feel the sun on your skin. Maybe you'll feel better then. Have you contacted your friends?"

Chorong held back another frown. "Ah…"

"Did you ask them?"

"Yes, I asked. But they're quite busy and I'm afraid our sch