I'm... in lo... lov... This is lo... that I'm feeling... 

But how do I... What do I...

B... Bomi... 

"Rong unnie, you okay?" A soft hand touched hers.

Chorong jumped with a start and then shrunk back in embarrassment. "Y-Yeah," she stuttered sheepishly, shy to make eye contact with the girl she had been thinking about, "I'm fine." Chorong nervously rubbed her cold hands from what had felt like an electric zap that bubbled across her palms. 

A frown flittered over Bomi's features. The older girl had been zoning out a lot, through to the end of rehearsals, that she hadn't realised when it was time to go. Chorong hadn't been her usual self since Bomi and Eunji returned from their little ice cream trip.

Although, if Bomi was being honest, something like this had been tugging in the back of her mind for a while now. It felt like Chorong was being more careful with her nowadays, but Bomi simply took it as her feeling stressed. There was never a reason for her to doubt Chorong. She trusted her. They told each other everything.

Well, almost everything. Bomi kept her biggest secret to herself.

But, going back to Chorong, all of a sudden the girl just seemed that little bit more distant to Bomi. Her usually bright eyes would be staring off into space, like she was transfixed on some bottomless void.

Or something was troubling her.

Of course Bomi would know it if something was bothering Chorong, but for once in a long time, she was kept in the dark. Without a clue. No, she must've been imagining things. If the leader was going through something, she would've told her. Why wouldn't she?

The six members got into the van with Chorong taking her usual spot in the front seat beside their manager. By now it was chilly and dark out in Seoul since the girls practiced way into the evening. They were no longer chipper and everyone was tired. Despite that, Bomi tried to catch the leader's gaze in the rear view mirror, but to no avail. So she silently admired her side profile instead. Chorong sat rigidly with her arms folded, almost curling inwards into her puffy jacket, looking out into the darkness. The younger watched the air that Chorong exhaled flurry and dissipate in long inaudible sighs. 

Bomi's meandering thoughts grew a little in concern. 

It wouldn't take long for them to reach the dorm and it wouldn't take long for the girls to prepare for slumber, ready for the cycle to repeat again next morning. 

"Unnie.." Bomi spoke too quietly for anyone to hear. 

Chorong cleaned up quickly and might have been the first to retreat to bed. Bomi didn't even see when the older had disappeared to her room. The younger girl with her hair damp and a towel over her shoulders hovered a bit over the leader's bedroom door before she thought better of it.

It was pretty late and everyone was tired.

Chorong must be tired.

Maybe it would do some good to sleep on it. 

But the uneasy feeling in Bomi's chest didn't really go away. 

——

It was a cold day like any other day for rehearsals, except that time was drawing near. Individual routines had been pretty much perfected and Apink were going to work with the venue and stage soon. The thought was almost surreal despite having rehearsed up to this moment. Apink's very first concert was almost here. Their hard work would soon pay off and the girls were only getting more and more excited about it as the days rolled by. 

However, when tension opened the dorm this morning, no one saw it coming. 

As if she had a sixth sense for when things were actually going wrong, Eunji awoke on her own and almost bumped into a member on her way out the door. A flash of surprise came across the maknae who was about to wake the heavy sleeper up as she usually did. The universe didn't seem to be working the common schedule today. 

Eunji stopped to look up at the fearful look on Hayoung's face, while her ears picked up on the sound of bickering. It was only when she honed in on it that Eunji realised it wasn't just bickering.

This was serious. 

"Are you hiding from me unnie? Is it so hard to just talk to me?" Bomi was pleading, following Chorong who started pacing from the kitchen to the living room. The leader was trying to make herself look busy by picking things up and putting them on the shelves, looking anywhere but at Bomi. 

It was already a hard task to keep her feelings in-check around the girl. As for her members for trying to help her face it, that was the last straw. The revelation shattered her facade and judgement and kept her thinking through the night. She knew her deep thoughts must have shown on her face.

Bomi may be oblivious, but she knows Chorong, and in hindsight, it wasn't surprising that Bomi would confront her about it. She could only have wished that it wasn't so soon. 

"Bbom-ah, let's talk about this later," Chorong tried to reason.

"No, please."

"Can't it wait?"

"No it can't," Bomi said firmly, wanting to get to the bottom of this. She didn't understand why Chorong was acting like this. It only made her grow more demanding of the truth. "Don't avoid me unnie."

Chorong mentally cursed at the younger girl's stubbornness. Please... not now. Anything but now. I'm not ready for this!

Bomi followed Chorong into her single bedroom and took the conversation with them, leaving the other members uncertain, but they slowly peeled themselves from the dining table and got ready to head out.

The leader spun around and raised her hands exasperatedly, expelling an irritated puff as Bomi closed the door behind them. They were alone now, and Chorong unwittingly trapped herself.

"Look, I'm fine and nothing is going on. Why do you have to be like this?" 

"Because!" Bomi gestured to herself like it was obvious, eyebrows furrowed gently. "I'm... worried."

Chorong knew that, but hearing the words out loud affected her stance more than she thought it would. It softened her. Bomi always had a mysterious way of softening her anger. 

But the older girl couldn't dare to falter now. Not when it came to this. She was nervous to look at her friend and feebly crossed her arms, dropping her voice low. "Who told you I was upset?"

There was a pause. Bomi sighed, speaking softly, which made Chorong feel bad about the act she was putting on.

"I didn't need anyone to tell me if I noticed it myself," she said. Chorong slowly nodded to herself, looking to the side. Then Bomi's voice carried into the air again.

"Am I..."

Chorong instinctively made a glance at Bomi and regretted it. A look of u