I hope y'all are ready for the angst to begin. But don't worry, it doesn't last very long.
 

After Sehun’s realization, and an almost completely sleepless night, he makes it his sole mission to put a little distance between himself and Baekhyun. Not only does he not want to hurt Baekhyun, but he doesn’t want to lead him on. He still hangs out with him just as much, but he keeps a friendly distance. No more walking arm-in-arm, no more holding hands as they walk, and definitely no more cuddling in their beds during movie nights.

If Baekhyun’s noticed, he hasn’t said anything. And, Sehun prefers it that way. He doesn’t want to have that conversation, doesn’t want to have to hurt Baekhyun’s feelings. His life has gotten way too complicated for his liking.

Complicated, he soon realizes, is an absolute understatement. His life is a complete and utter mess, and he realizes while he’s six beers deep in a dimly lit bar, sitting at a round table with both Jongin and Baekhyun, that he no longer knows what he’s doing with his life.

He realizes also, that Jongin really likes to poke fun at him. It makes Baekhyun laugh, which Sehun enjoys, but he’s sitting still and silent, trying his best not to pout. He doesn’t know when he became such a sensitive boy, but his feelings are, admittedly, a little hurt by Jongin’s jokes. He sits back in his seat, watching Jongin talk animatedly to Baekhyun; he’s drowned out the conversation, which is nice, but he’s still annoyed.

When he finally zones back in to what’s going on at his table, he immediately wishes he hadn’t.

“Sehun doesn’t know how to be hit on,” Jongin says as he smiles, enjoying yet another chance to tease his best friend.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Baekhyun argues. Usually, he’d be annoyed with Jongin teasing Sehun, but he’s a little drunk and very curious as to what Jongin is going to say next. He looks to Sehun who’s hiding his face, already aware of the story Jongin is going to tell. “Tell me,” Baekhyun finally says, perking up, clutching his beer just a little tighter in anticipation.

“This guy one time told him,” he has to pause to laugh, “He said—” More laughter. “He came up to Sehun and told him he liked his hair.”

Baekhyun is focused on Jongin, but he doesn’t miss the groan that comes from Sehun. It makes him smile.

Jongin stops laughing once again. “And Sehun goes—” He bursts into a fit of laughter once more, slapping his hand on the table, on Sehun, anything at arm’s length. “Tell him what you said,” Jongin nudges Sehun’s shoulder.

Sehun raises his head, unamused, cheeks red from the beer or embarrassment, or both, and he exhales slowly through his nose. “I said, ‘Thanks, I grew it myself’.”

At this, Jongin goes crazy and Baekhyun joins in this time, both laughing hysterically at Sehun’s expense. Sehun huffs and rolls his eyes, takes a long drink from his beer as he mumbles his hatred for the both of them under his breath.

Baekhyun might have an underlying, and growing, dislike for Jongin, but at least he’s good for spilling Sehun’s embarrassing moments.

A while later their beers are empty and Jongin offers to go get another round from the bar. Sehun feels better now that his alcohol intake has had time to come into effect, but he still is a little angry with Jongin.

Baekhyun reaches across the table and grabs Sehun’s forearm. “You alright?” he asks, giving Sehun those concerned eyes. Sehun smiles, but shrugs. And tonight, Baekhyun’s just drunk enough to let his mouth run. “You know, Jongin really is a jerk. I don’t know why you like him so much.” His drunk eyes are closed as he talks, so he doesn’t notice the wide-eyed look Sehun is giving him. “I’m so much nicer to you than he is,” Baekhyun says with a pout.

Sehun watches Baekhyun open his eyes and remains silent; he never knows what to say to Baekhyun when he’s being too honest like this. Or, maybe it’s the years spent being emotionally ignored by Jongin that has him unable to properly respond to someone being genuinely sweet to him. He just stares at the sadness in Baekhyun’s eyes, the look contrasting the small smile on his lips.

“You—”

Baekhyun is cutoff by Jongin coming back to the table, and Sehun is grateful for that. Jongin doesn’t sit, and he’s only carrying two beers that he places on the table. One for Sehun, one for Baekhyun.

“Done drinking?” Sehun asks, sliding his beer closer to himself.

“No, actually I’m—” He pauses to close one eye and point his finger across the room; Sehun’s eyes follow it and land on a pretty girl standing not too far off, staring back at them. “—going back to her place.”

“Oh,” Sehun says, trying so hard to hide his emotions. “Cool.”

Baekhyun scoffs, hides the roll of his eyes by taking a drink from his beer. Jongin doesn’t miss it though, and he turns his body toward Baekhyun. “Is there a problem?”

Sehun’s heart stops. Jongin may be a sweet, carefree guy, but he’s never been one to hold his tongue when he thinks someone has done him wrong or is judging him. Sehun holds his breath, just waiting for Baekhyun to speak.

Baekhyun swallows the beer in his mouth and clears his throat; his sly smirk terrifies Sehun. “No, not at all,” Baekhyun says, being obviously sarcastic.

Sehun can see Jongin’s blood beginning to boil, his already short fuse cut even shorter thanks to his level of intoxication. Jongin looks seconds away from pushing Baekhyun backwards out of his stool. Sehun fears this isn’t going to end well.

But, to Sehun’s surprise, Jongin simply clenches his jaw and retreats, leaving Sehun stunned silent, staring at Baekhyun in shock.

“I thought he was going to punch me,” Baekhyun giggles.

“Me too,” Sehun admits.

They stay at the bar for another hour before deciding to call it a night. They’re both blissfully drunk, and tired, and they have to get up early for class tomorrow. Baekhyun pays the tab, they both make a quick stop at the bathroom, and then they’re off walking down the sidewalk toward campus.

They don’t make it very far before getting sidetracked by a small playground off to the side of a street usually busy during the day. Baekhyun squeals and runs for the swings before Sehun has a chance to protest. And, by the time Sehun catches up to Baekhyun, he’s already sitting on a swing happily kicking his legs, and it’s just too adorable a sight for Sehun to do anything other than offer Baekhyun a push. So he does, and for the next ten minutes they both laugh and shout as Sehun pushes Baekhyun on the swing.

Baekhyun excitedly yells a ‘higher, daddy, higher’ as kids often do in movies. He promptly stops his swing to turn to Sehun so they can share a knowing, distasteful look. “I’m so sorry I just said that,” Baekhyun laughs.

“Yeah, the internet has pretty much ruined that word,” Sehun says, helping an off-balance Baekhyun stand up. “Should probably try to steer around that word from now until the day we die.” Baekhyun nods in agreement.

After Baekhyun has had enough swinging, they walk around the playground a little; Baekhyun goes down a slide and lands hard on . Sehun promptly helps him up, trying his best not to fall over as well because he’s laughing so hard, and Baekhyun gives him a playful shove for laughing at him.

Baekhyun has the bright idea to make Sehun try to do a pullup on the monkey bars. He tells Sehun it’s because he wants to see how strong he is, but really he just thinks it’d be hot to see him do it. He doesn’t tell Sehun that, of course.

“Oh come on,” Baekhyun teases from somewhere behind Sehun, “Is that all you got? Not even one pullup?” He scoffs, puts a balled fist over his mouth to try to stifle his laughter. “I thought you were strong?”

At that, Sehun grunts and musters all his strength his drunken biceps can manage, and does three pullups in quick succession.

“Okay wow that was hot,” Baekhyun says, voice flat.

Sehun drops to the ground and turns with an evil grin that makes Baekhyun hold his breath. He grabs Baekhyun by the arm and tugs him closer, so that he’s standing under the bars now too, and Sehun steps back, staring expectantly at Baekhyun.

“Your turn now,” is all he says, then he motions between Baekhyun and the monkey bars.

“I— w-what? I-I can’t do a pullup.” He looks up; he probably can’t even reach the bars if he’s being honest. He opens his mouth to protest more, but yelps instead. Sehun has his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, lifting him up.

“A little boost for the short one,” Sehun teases, and he’s entirely too close to Baekhyun’s face to be speaking in a voice that low.

Baekhyun gulps; Sehun’s so much more attractive this close up. He forgets what he’s supposed to be doing and just stares at Sehun instead. God, he could kiss those lips right now. It would be so easy, just another few inches closer is all it would take. He doesn’t realize that his breath is coming out in unsteady huffs, but Sehun does. He realizes then, too, what an oddly compromising position he’s put them in: their chests pressed together, his arms wrapped around Baekhyun. Without thinking it through, Sehun releases Baekhyun and, when Baekhyun falls, his face collides with Sehun’s chin.

“Oh !” Sehun gasps and hurries to pull Baekhyun up from the ground. “Oh, , I’m so sorry!”

Baekhyun’s got both hands over his left eye and his face is twisted in pain. He groans out something unintelligible and Sehun gives him a confused ‘what’?

“I said,” Baekhyun gives Sehun’s chest a weak punch with his hand not covering his eye, “you’re an idiot.” He drops his hand and Sehun’s jaw drops. “What?” Baekhyun asks, terrified.

“Oh dude…you have a black eye.” He raises his hand, intent on poking at it, but Baekhyun slaps his hand away. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to drop you like that.”

Baekhyun glares, “It’s because your stupid, perfect, pointy chin.” He pouts and crosses his arms, “It hurts.”

Sehun feels terrible, he truly does, but Baekhyun looks adorable pouting like that, especially with a little black bruise under his eye. “Want me to carry you home?” Sehun offers, like the gentlemen he is, though the sentiment is ruined by his slight chuckle he tries his best to hide.

Baekhyun glares but holds his arms straight out. “Yes, carry me. It’s the least you could do after bruising my beautiful face.”

Sehun smiles at his idiotic, ridiculous friend standing in front of him holding his arms like a child waiting to be picked up by a parent. “I’m not carrying you like a baby,” he says, amused. “I’ll give you a piggyback ride though, if you want.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun huffs, “I do want.” Then, he proceeds to clumsily climb up onto Sehun’s back. Once his legs are securely around Sehun’s middle he begins walking, and smiles when Baekhyun rests his chin on his shoulder.

This is one of those things that sober Sehun told himself he wouldn’t do anymore. This is much too close, there’s too much contact. He can smell Baekhyun’s cologne, and it smells great, but he shouldn’t be this close. But, the warmth of Baekhyun on his back is comforting as he drunkenly makes his way toward home. The weight on his shoulders, the thighs squeezing his hips tightly, Baekhyun clinging to him like this is familiar. It’s comfortable.

If Sehun were sober, he’d be thinking about Jongin right now. He’d be thinking about how upset he is that Jongin went home with some girl from the bar. He’d probably still be at the bar drinking his sorrows away. Baekhyun is a welcome change. If he didn’t have Baekhyun he wouldn’t be laughing, stumbling drunk through campus. He smiles and slows his pace.

“I’m so happy we met,” Baekhyun mumbles against Sehun’s neck, half-asleep. “I have so much fun hanging out with you.”

“Me too.” He can feel Baekhyun trying to snuggle closer to him, pressing the cold tip of his nose to Sehun’s warm skin; Sehun smiles, readjusts his grip on Baekhyun’s legs.

“Do you think you could ever like me?” Baekhyun asks, voice gentle, but still loud in Sehun’s ear.

His cheeks immediately burn red as his blood pressure sky rockets. He doesn’t know what to say to that; he doesn’t know if words would even come out of his mouth if he tried to respond. He gulps and tries to calm himself down, tries to think of anything he could possibly say, or maybe a joke to lighten the situation. But, before it comes to that, he can hear the quiet sound of Baekhyun gently snoring. He lets out a heavy breath and shakes his head. That was close.

Baekhyun sleeps until Sehun wakes him. They’ve stopped in front of Baekhyun’s apartment and Sehun helps him shimmy down his back and onto the sidewalk.

“Sorry for sleeping the whole way,” Baekhyun mumbles tiredly. “You should’ve woke me up and made me walk.” He gives Sehun this big smile before shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets; he shivers.

Sehun knows he’s drunk because, without hesitation, he pulls Baekhyun in for a tight hug. His longs arms wrap completely around Baekhyun, and they just stand there like that for a moment, Baekhyun just being held by Sehun. And for that short time, Sehun doesn’t feel like letting go. He doesn’t think about hurting Chanyeol. He doesn’t think about how he’s leading Baekhyun on. He doesn’t even think about Jongin. The only thought in his mind is how he wants to keep Baekhyun warm, and how good it feels when Baekhyun pulls his hands from his pockets to wrap his arms around Sehun’s waist.

He squeezes tight and realizes Baekhyun just fits so perfectly, tucked away in Sehun’s arms, like something fragile he needs to handle with care. He pulls back and looks down. Baekhyun is smiling up at him, eyes searching his face, those big hopeful eyes. And that’s what snaps Sehun back to reality.

“Well, good night,” he says, turning to look away from Baekhyun. “Tonight was fun. Sorry about your eye though.”

“Do you wanna come up?” Baekhyun asks, “It’s cold.”

Sehun thinks, he holds eye contact with Baekhyun and thinks long and hard about this decision. If he says no, he’ll have to walk all the way back to his dorm, drunk, cold and tired. But, if he says yes, he’ll be giving Baekhyun the wrong impression yet again. His head hurts.

Baekhyun’s hopeful expression begins to shift, something closer to regret, embarrassment maybe. He looks around, everywhere but at Sehun and smiles. “I’m sure you want your own bed, never mind. Forget I asked.” He skips up the steps of his building and turns to give Sehun one last look, a final bright smile. “Night, Sehun. See you tomorrow.” And with a little wave, he slips inside.

Sehun blinks at the door, half expecting Baekhyun to open it again. But, he doesn’t. “I should have went inside,” he realizes.

Morning comes much too early and the sun is too bright, and Sehun feels like absolute . He, unfortunately, remembers last night in perfect detail, down to the way it made him feel when Baekhyun stood in front of his door smiling at him like he’s the best thing that ever happened to him.

He rolls over and groans, totally not ready for the long morning he has ahead of him. It’s with great effort that he drags his out of bed and gets himself ready in time to meet up with Baekhyun before class.

Sehun is not fond of early classes, but Baekhyun buys him coffee each morning, so it’s tolerable. Sehun is so not a morning person. But Baekhyun is, though, and it’s aggravating. Sehun is barely half a person at 9am, while Baekhyun already has the pep in his step for the day and, quite frankly, Sehun sometimes has to fight the urge to beg Baekhyun to stop talking as they walk across campus together.

This morning is one of those mornings.

It’s snowing. It’s not cold enough to stick to the ground, but it’s coming down just enough to annoy an already annoyed Sehun. The flakes keep pelting him right in the face and Baekhyun is being his usually cheerful self, rambling on about something Sehun is too aggravated to listen to. The slight hangover he’s nursing probably doesn’t help, but that’s his own fault for not knowing how to say no to Jongin when he wants to go out drinking on a school night.

“Are you even listening to me?” Baekhyun says suddenly, looking up at Sehun, wearing those round glasses he just now realizes must actually be Chanyeol’s, because they look just like the ones he wears. The lenses are covered in little water droplets and Sehun wonders how that doesn’t bother Baekhyun. It also seems he’s tried to cover the black eye he’d gotten last night with makeup; it worked, but only slightly.

“No I’m not, actually,” Sehun says, and instantly, he regrets the tone he’d used.

Baekhyun lets out a soft, “Oh”, and looks down at his feet. He side-eyes Sehun quickly. “Are you…mad at me or something?” Sehun just sighs and stops walking. “Did I do something wrong? Like—”

Something inside Sehun breaks and he lets out an angry huff. “Oh my god, Baekhyun! I’m not your boyfriend! So, stop acting like I am.” He watches Baekhyun’s eyes shift, sees his expression fall. “We’re just friends, dude. Just. Friends.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says quietly, still looking at the ground. His knuckles are white from the grip he’s got on his backpack straps, and he looks like he could burst into tears at any moment. The concealer-covered black eye adds to it, and Baekhyun looks like a kicked, pathetically sad puppy.

He feels terrible; he doesn’t know why he just snapped at Baekhyun like that. “,” he swears, watching his breath puff out into the air. “I’ll see you later,” he says, turning quickly to walk in the opposite direction of their class.

“Hey? Dude?” Jongin says in confusion. He’s lazing comfortably on the couch with a hand in his sweatpants. “I thought you had class?”

“I do,” Sehun says. He kicks his shoes off a little too hard and they fumble across the room on the floor.

“You uh…everything alright there?”

Sehun flops onto the couch, Jongin moves his feet out of the way just in time to avoid being sat on. “Yeah,” he answers, “probably.”

“Probably?” Jongin rolls his eyes, “Care to explain, vague boy?”

He rubs at his face with both hands and sighs. “Baekhyun ing likes me and…I-I don’t know what to do about it.”

Jongin sits up now, a breath in through clenched teeth. “Not to be that , but I told you a month ago he liked you.” Sehun’s glare is intense and makes Jongin raise defensive hands up in front of him. “I’m just saying.”

“Dude, what the do I do?”

“If I know you as well as I think I do, I’d say start with apologizing, because I know you probably just said some mean to him before you stormed in here all pissed off.” He shrugs. “Then just tell him you don’t like him,” he shrugs, “Even though you obviously do,” he mumbles under his breath.

“I told you before, I don’t like him!” He’s raising his voice and he doesn’t even know why. “We’re—”

“Just friends,” Jongin finishes for him, having heard it a thousand times. “Friends that cuddle and hold hands and go on cute little dates to cute little coffee shops together.” He stares at Sehun long enough to let him know he’s being absolutely serious. “You guys are literally the cutest ing couple I’ve ever seen and it makes me want to puke, but you’re too stupid to realize you like him.”

“If you say I like him one more time, I’m going to hit you,” Sehun says, mostly joking, but at this point he just might take a swing at Jongin.

“I’ve seen you fight, I’m not scared. You like Baekhyun, deal with it.”

Jongin stands and leaves before Sehun can get in the last word. And, Sehun remains on the couch, slouched down and pouting. He doesn’t like Baekhyun, that’s the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. And coming from Jongin, it’s just hurtful. If only Jongin knew the truth, he wouldn’t be insisting Sehun likes Baekhyun.

“Oh my god,” Jongin laughs as he reenters the room now holding a glass of water. He walks over and grips Sehun up, pulling him off of the couch. He begins pushing him toward his room. “You look pathetic. Go take a self-pity nap, you’ll wake up and feel better.”

“I guess,” Sehun grumbles, and lets himself be pushed into his room. Jongin walks him to his bed and even tucks him in, blows him a little kiss on his way out the door.

He wakes up from his nap a little out of it, and still feeling ty.

He knew Baekhyun was right when he’d said it at the coffee shop so long ago, but still, he didn’t quite expect it to happen so soon. He just wanted to go tell Jongin his nap idea didn’t work, that he still feels bad about how what he did earlier. He never knocks on Jongin’s door anymore, it’s a habit now for either of them to just waltz in. A bad habit, as they’ve both walked in on each other more times than they can count. But this time it’s different. This time it isn’t just Jongin alone in his room. There’s a dark haired girl somewhere under him, Sehun can just barely make her out from the angle he’s seeing things from.

His heart aches as he shuts the door, quietly so Jongin doesn’t hear. He leaves the apartment, fighting tears, wanting to just find somewhere quiet to curl up.

He doesn’t even realize he’d been walking, doesn’t know how he ended up in the middle of campus. He stops walking suddenly, taking a moment for himself in the middle of the crowded sidewalk to just breathe. His eyes close; he takes in air through his nose and blows it out through pursed lips. He hates himself right now. He pulls his phone from his pocket, side-stepping out of the heavy foot traffic after getting a few dirty looks.

“Hey,” he half-shouts into his phone; he’s got his opposite ear plugged with a finger so he can hear. “Uh…I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now but—”

“Not at all,” Baekhyun interrupts, “Are you calling to yell at me again?”

“Look, Baekhyun I—,” he has to force the last half of the sentence out, “I’m sorry. Can I please come over so we can talk?”

“I’m busy right now.”

Sehun sighs; he knows he absolutely deserves this coldness from Baekhyun, but it still . He chews at his bottom lip, fighting to keep the image of Jongin and the girl out of his mind. “Please, Baekhyun,” he says softly, “Just…please, can we talk?”

There’s a pause; Sehun holds his breath, nerves coming close to snapping as each second passes without Baekhyun speaking.

“Fine.”

“Okay, alright cool. So—”

“Here’s the deal though,” he interrupts again, “I’m having mandatory movie night with Chanyeol right now…so, you’ll have to sit through that with us. We can talk after the movie, after Chanyeol leaves.”

Sehun knows he’s got that stupid look on his face, the blank one, where his eyes lack any sign of life. He covers the microphone of his cell and sighs loud, annoyed. He realizes his only other option is sitting in his living room waiting for Jongin to be done having .

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”