This groan is different from his usual post-drinking groan. This groan is a mix of a hangover and his joints aching from sleeping on the couch. He sits up slowly, taking a long, deep breath, and sighs. He feels like actual death and his mouth is so dry he’s not sure sound would come out if he tried to speak. He trudges slowly to the kitchen, too lazy to get a glass from the cabinet, and drinks straight from the faucet like an animal. It’s refreshing, cold and spilling down his chin, but he continues gulping the water down like he’d been stranded in the desert for a week.

He fishes a couple pills from the drawer beside the silverware; he needs to get rid of this throbbing headache.

After using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, he makes his way to Baekhyun’s room, because he always pities Sehun when he’s hungover like the best friend he is. But, to Sehun’s dismay, Baekhyun isn’t home. He pouts like a child and returns to the living room to find his phone.

where are you

Sehun grabs his biggest, warmest blanket and his phone charger from his room, then returns to the living room to curl up on the couch and wait for Baekhyun’s reply.

library studying

on a Saturday??

He adds a few crying emojis to be cute and then turns onto his side so he can lay his head flat on the cushion. As he waits for Baekhyun’s next message, he tries to piece together his night. Sadly, there isn’t much he remembers. Kissing Luhan though, he couldn’t forget. There’s something else too, something giving him an unpleasant feeling, but he can’t place what it is.

yea

Sehun pouts once again. Baekhyun never sends him one word answers. Ever. Suddenly, that something else he can’t remember strikes fear in him. Did he do something bad last night? Something to make Baekhyun angry with him. He closes his eyes, squeezes his eyelids tight, begging his brain to work for once in its life.

Just as Sehun thinks he might be remembering what happened once he got home last night, the apartment door opens. He opens his eyes expecting Baekhyun, only to be disappointed by Chanyeol.

“I have a key,” Chanyeol says, deciphering the confused look on Sehun’s face.

“Baek’s not here,” Sehun mumbles with his cheek still smashed against the couch.

“I know. I’m here for you.”

The serious tone to Chanyeol’s voice worries Sehun, and he sits upright. Why is Chanyeol glaring at him? Why is he suddenly sweating?

“Why are you here for me?”

“Because,” Chanyeol says, taking a few steps closer, “Baekhyun came to my apartment this morning in tears because of you and I’m going to give you a single chance to explain yourself before I snap you in half like the skinny little twig you are.”

It’s a bone-chilling threat, only intensified by the smile Chanyeol kept throughout it. Sehun gulps audibly and flinches when Chanyeol moves forward more.

Sehun kicks his brain into overdrive, retraces the steps he took after leaving the party. Luhan, restaurant, Baekhyun waiting up for him. But, he just can’t remember what they had talked about. Chanyeol cracks his knuckles; Sehun doesn’t know if it’s purposeful or not, but it works and the lightbulb goes off in his brain.

“I told him I kissed Luhan last night, didn’t I?”

Chanyeol is close enough that he only needs to lean forward to place his hand over Sehun’s entire face and push him back into the couch. “No, moron. You told him you were sad because you thought you were kissing him.” Chanyeol sighs and crosses his arms. “He thinks you think he’s...repulsive, I believe is the word he used.”

Sehun jumps to his feet. “I would never say that. Even drunk, I would never say that to him.” He can’t describe the feeling in his chest, the heaviness; his blood feels thick in his veins as he swallows the lump in his throat. Why does he feel like crying?

“I was sad because I wasn’t kissing him!” Sehun shouts this, feeling defensive under Chanyeol’s skeptical gaze. He wraps his arms around himself and sits on the couch, blinks up at the ceiling to get rid of the tears forming in his eyes. He looks up at Chanyeol, looming over him, staring.

“So, you wanted to be kissing Baekhyun?” Chanyeol’s voice is low, calm. His posture no longer says that he wants to beat Sehun’s .

“I-I mean…that’s what I told him last night,” he shrugs, “I don’t know why though.” Sehun buries his face in his hands. “Why would I say that?” He looks up, “Why the would I say that?”

“Maybe because you meant it?” Sehun gives Chanyeol another confused look and, for a second, Chanyeol looks like he might actually hit Sehun, but he settles for clenching his fists in the air between them. “Are you really as stupid as you look?”

Sehun glares, but pouts. He crosses his arms over his chest childishly. “I’m not stupid,” he mumbles.

“Could have fooled me.”

“I liked you better when you barely talked to me.”

“And, I liked you better when you weren’t being a complete ,” Chanyeol spits back as he walks to the door. “I knew you were gonna do this to him,” is the last thing he says before he slams the door behind him.

Sehun is sulking.

Chanyeol did a great job of making him feel like a piece of and, as much as he doesn’t want to side with Chanyeol on this, he knows he deserves the way he feels right now. Did he really make Baekhyun cry? Is he really so inconsiderate of Baekhyun’s feelings that he’d come home and tell him about kissing someone? That he wishes it was Baekhyun instead of someone else?

He made Baekhyun cry.

He whines pathetically and throws his head back, thrashes around on the couch until his blanket falls to the floor. He hates himself right now. Why would he tell Baekhyun that, unless…No. No, absolutely not. He doesn’t feel that way about Baekhyun. That’s absurd. Baekhyun is his best friend and he refuses to do that again.

But, what if he did, he thinks. He sits up, elbows digging into his knees and his head resting on his hands. There’s a glare set on his face. What if he does feel that way about Baekhyun? Would it really be so bad? He groans and rubs his face with both hands; he just doesn’t have it in him anymore to think about things like this.

So, to take his mind off of his own misery, he drags his backpack and laptop from his room and begins all the homework he has due on Monday he hasn’t started yet. He was planning on taking zeros on the assignments, but he’ll do anything to take his mind off of his life right now.

The next few hours are spent looking up answers to online homework on Quizlet, going in and out of the kitchen to grab snacks, and periodically checking his phone. Each time he unlocks his phone he’s hoping to already have a text from Baekhyun. It’s never the case, though, and he wants to message him. But he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know if he should apologize, or try to pretend like nothing happened. He doesn’t know if Baekhyun even wants to talk to him.

At a little past 9pm, Baekhyun isn’t home and hasn’t messaged Sehun, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little worried. So, with a heavy sigh, he reluctantly messages Chanyeol.

i know you don’t want to talk to me but I just wanted to know if you know where baekhyun is? he hasn’t been home all day

The ping from his phone nearly makes him jump and he’s suddenly terrified to read the text.

he’ll be home soon. ur dead to me

Sehun shivers, wondering what he’s done now.

The front door bursts open and Sehun nearly jumps out of his skin. He’d refocused, studying hard, and the sudden slam of door against wall startles him to the core. What he sees when he looks up is Baekhyun with Chanyeol behind him, seemingly supporting Baekhyun’s full weight. The glance Sehun shares with Chanyeol tells him that Baekhyun is, in fact, absolutely smashed and wouldn’t be upright if it weren’t for Chanyeol’s arms hooked under Baekhyun’s.

Sehun would find all this amusing if he wasn’t absolutely terrified of Chanyeol right now. His eyes look like fire, and they’re focused directly at Sehun. He rearranges Baekhyun in his arms and helps him over to the couch where he maneuvers him into a slumped, but sitting position.

“Someone had fun,” Sehun jokes for lack of anything else to say; Chanyeol glares.

“Yeah, a little too much fun,” Chanyeol says, trying his best to get Baekhyun to stay upright. “And a little too much tequila as well.”

Baekhyun realizes now that Sehun is in the room and his entire face lights up, and he pushes himself away from Chanyeol’s grasp.

“Sehun. Sehuuuun. My favorite roommate Sehunnie,” he chants with every unstable move he makes.

“I’m your only roommate, but thanks.”

Chanyeol huffs at Sehun’s remark, then quickly gasps as Baekhyun almost topples over. He catches himself at the last second and takes a moment to steady himself as best as he can, then continues his journey across the couch toward Sehun.

When Baekhyun crashes head first into Sehun’s lap it knocks the wind out of both of them. Sehun lets out a breathy “Oof,” and pushes at Baekhyun’s head to rearrange his positioning so that his balls aren’t being smashed to bits.

When Baekhyun begins reaching both arms up, trying to tug at Sehun’s hair, Sehun gives Chanyeol a pleading look. Chanyeol’s eyes narrow; he shakes his head and takes a small step back. Sehun’s eyes beg please, but Chanyeol continues his retreat.

“You wanna stay and watch a movie?” Sehun asks him; Baekhyun’s fingers are massaging Sehun’s neck now.

“Nope,” Chanyeol says with a hand on the door, “gotta go study.”

It’s a long few minutes of silence while Baekhyun just scratches and rubs at Sehun’s head, his eyes closed and mouth open slightly as Sehun just stares straight ahead, holding his breath. It does feel good, Sehun must admit, and Baekhyun’s head shifting in his lap feels good as well. Perhaps a little too good.

“Uh,” Sehun mumbles, “B-Baek, can you sit up?”

“Mhhhh,” and it comes sounding much too close to a moan. Baekhyun’s eyes open and he smiles, perfect teeth showing, eyes vanishing, “Don’t wanna.” And, he says it so happily, so cheerfully, that Sehun almost forgets that the constant rubbing of the back of Baekhyun’s head is, admittedly, turning him on.

But, he persists. He shifts so that Baekhyun’s head falls from his lap, leaving him crumpled on his side. And the sad, so very sad look Baekhyun gives up to him almost makes Sehun regret moving.

For once in his life, Sehun wants to get back to studying, he even gets as far as reaching for his textbook he’d placed on the arm of the couch, but he’s stopped by Baekhyun suddenly jumping up onto his knees.

“Sehun,” he says softly, eyes only half-open, “can I tell you a secret?”

His gulp resonates in the silent room; it’s so quiet Sehun swears he can hear the sound of Baekhyun blinking at him. He’s absolutely terrified of what’s going to come out of Baekhyun’s mouth. Baekhyun scoots just a little closer, still on his knees which are now touching Sehun’s thigh. And then, he leans forward and presses his lips to Sehun’s temple.

“I drank so much tequila.” He falls onto his back in a fit of giggles, arms crossed over his stomach as he laughs. After a moment, he calms himself. His legs are now situated in Sehun’s lap and he still has that goofy grin on his lips. He lifts his head just a little and looks right at Sehun. “My real secret is,” some more giggles, “I kissed a boy in the bathroom at the bar.” He bites down on his lip to hold in laughter as he lays his head back down to stare at the ceiling.

And, the admission shouldn’t bother Sehun. It doesn’t. He doesn’t think about it for the next two hours as he tries to read his textbook while Baekhyun snores away on the couch still beside him. It doesn’t have him grinding his pen into his notebook in angry squiggles. He surely doesn’t fall asleep glaring at his ceiling in the dark, wondering just what the hell Baekhyun was thinking.

Sehun misses his morning class because he forgot to turn his alarms on before bed last night. He’s tired and in a foul mood, so he decides to just skip all his classes today in fear of snapping at a professor or fellow student. Instead, he keeps himself locked in his room wearing a dirty hoodie and jeans, and his messy bedhead he’s too lazy to tame at the moment. When he finally does step into the shower, he just stands under the stream, letting the water splash into his face.

It’s a morning filled with sighs and restlessness until finally, around noon, Baekhyun wakes up face down on the couch where Sehun had left him last night.

Sehun can hear Baekhyun’s distressed, hungover wailing from the kitchen. It takes a lot of mental preparation, but he finally gets up and makes his way into the living room. Baekhyun is seated on the couch, holding a glass of water to his lips with both hands. He looks rough; his hair is a mess, his eyes are only half open, and there’s dried drool at the corner of his mouth.

“Hey,” Sehun says.

Baekhyun just grunts, takes a large gulp of water, then whimpers as he grabs the side of his head with one hand.

“Chanyeol said you drank a lot of tequila last night.”

“That’s an understatement.”

Sehun wants to laugh. Any other time he’d laugh, but the tension between them is eating away at his sanity and he’s stuck between wanting to throw up or just going back to his room and avoiding Baekhyun at all costs. Instead, he smiles.

“You okay?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Fine.”

There’s a long, uncomfortably awkward silence. Sehun can tell that Baekhyun doesn’t want to talk, understandably so, but he needs to address what Baekhyun told him last night. He doesn’t know why, but he does.

“So you— I mean, last night you said that you made out with some guy at the bar?” He has no idea why it comes out as a question; it’s not a question at all.

“Yeah, so?”

Baekhyun is snapping at him; Sehun knows he deserves this. He also knows he’s the reason Baekhyun went out and got so drunk last night. He practically pushed Baekhyun into the mouth of some random stranger who thought making out in a dirty bar bathroom was good enough for Baekhyun.

Sehun’s jaw drops and he lets out a huff when he realizes what it is that he’s feeling. He’s jealous. Of someone he doesn’t even know. Someone he’s never even seen. The realization fills him with panic and suddenly the room is too hot, too small, he’s angry. At himself. At Baekhyun for some reason.

“That was really careless of you,” Sehun says, and he doesn’t know why he says it. The look Baekhyun gives him, the way his head snaps up to look at him, Sehun knows he’s ed up. Yet again. But, Sehun just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. “In a bathroom, Baekhyun? Really? Do you even know how dirty that is?”

Sehun knows he’s spewing total bull at Baekhyun, that he doesn’t even mean any of this. But, he just wants to rid himself of this weird, unnecessary jealousy and, for some reason, it manifests as anger. Somewhere deep, deep down Sehun knows the anger is misplaced. He knows he’s truly mad at himself for being such a coward. But, he finds it much easier to blame Baekhyun rather than himself for the miserable way he’s feeling right now.

Baekhyun calmly sets his glass on the table, clears his throat, and looks at Sehun. He looks absolutely defeated, completely over all of this drama, sick of trying to win Sehun over. “Don’t lecture me,” he says, shakes his head. He doesn’t look angry, just hurt.

Sehun just can’t seem to stop hurting him. He wishes he could stop.

“I’m just saying that—”

Baekhyun stands and now the anger finally comes out. He points a finger in Sehun’s face. “You don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.” His chest is heaving; Baekhyun is physically so much smaller than Baekhyun, but Sehun feels tiny under his livid gaze. “You. Are not my boyfriend, Oh Sehun.”

Sehun keeps his head down, terrified to make eye contact. When Baekhyun sniffles, he looks up just long enough to see Baekhyun wipe at his face with the back of his hand. The sight makes Sehun’s stomach turn; he’d made Baekhyun cry again.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun whispers. He does look into Baekhyun’s eyes now, wraps his arms around himself. “I’m so sorry, Baekhyun.” Without another word Sehun gets up and slips his shoes on, grabs his keys from the table, and leaves. He knows he shouldn’t go, but he’s always been much better at running away than facing his problems.

I feel like I've lied to you guys. I said the angst wouldn't last long, but something happened along the way and here we are, almost at the end, and it's still going. I PROMISE this is the end of it though! Thanks to everyone who's stuck around to read through this absolute mess of a fic, I love you. Anywayyy, cute how Baek and Sehun are so similar huh? Both go out and get drunk and make poor decisions. And Chanyeol is such a sweetheart when he's not wanting to kill Sehun. Two more chapters left guys! See you for the next one!!