It’s the absolute worst. The most horrendously awkward, terribly awful thing Baekhyun has ever experienced. He hasn’t said a word in well over twenty minutes, has just been twiddling his thumbs by the door, checking his phone over and over knowing that no one has messaged him. And the entire time, though he hasn’t actually lifted his head to check, he just knows, Jongin has been staring at him from where he’s planted on the couch. Baekhyun kind of wants to die.

He can hear Sehun moving around in his bedroom. He’s heard him walk out and into the kitchen and back a few times. No one has spoken since Jongin and Sehun stopped arguing, though it was more Sehun going off on Jongin and Jongin trying to defend himself but only sounding like more of an than Baekhyun already thought he was.

And, it’s just so…awkward.

It started with Jongin telling Sehun he didn’t have to move out, that he could stay and things could go back to the way they were before. He’d told Sehun to just get over his crush, that he didn’t want to stop being friends. Baekhyun, though he knew it wasn’t his place to say anything, had to raise an eyebrow at that. How could Jongin be that clueless?

He felt bad for Sehun. This has got to be hard on him, packing all of his things and moving out of his dorm, leaving his best friend because he’s, for lack of a better word, an .

It took much longer than Baekhyun would have thought for Sehun to get angry. He remained calm, telling Jongin that he did, in fact, need to leave. His voice was steady, though his eyes looked pained, and he calmly refused Jongin’s offer to pretend that nothing had happened between them.

The way Baekhyun sees it, Sehun’s been moved out for a week already anyway. He hasn’t gone back to the dorm since his big fight with Jongin and has been borrowing Baekhyun’s clothes to avoid having to return home to change. They did go out and buy him a toothbrush though, because he couldn’t stand not brushing his teeth. So, as far as Baekhyun is concerned, Sehun already lives with him. Now it’s just the simple task of bringing his belongings along with him.

And, it hasn’t been as bad as Baekhyun thought it was going to be, having Sehun around. It’s actually been a rather nice addition to his life. Sure, he knows that Sehun doesn’t like him back, but he’s still happy just spending time together with him as friends. They are friends first, after all. As content as Baekhyun is, he still dreads it every morning when he knows Sehun is going to step out of the bathroom, freshly showered, water droplets falling from his hair, and nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He tells himself not to look, but who is he to deny himself that view? Sehun’s torso is his deepest desire and his worst nightmare all packaged into one tightly toned body.

Baekhyun clears his throat as he refreshes his Facebook feed on his phone, shaking the thought of a half- Sehun out of his mind. That’s definitely not where he needs his mind to be right now. He tells himself to stay focused on the task at hand, which happens to be not punching Jongin in the mouth if he starts his with Sehun again. He peeks over at Jongin for just a second. Why the is he staring? It’s annoying, but Baekhyun keeps his lips sealed. He’s so not looking for a fight right now.

To Baekhyun’s dismay, Jongin breaks the silence.

“I don’t understand why he’s doing this,” he says, looking straight at Baekhyun like he’s expecting an answer.

It’s anger that pulses through Baekhyun at that statement. Is Jongin really that stupid? Does he really not comprehend how much he’s hurt Sehun?
 

“Are you serious?” He nearly whispers because he fears he’ll yell if he tries to speak at a normal volume. He tells himself to keep calm, not to make things any worse for Sehun. “You basically told him that he isn’t good enough for you, and you don’t get why he wants to get away from you?”

Jongin crosses his arms, scoffs. “I didn’t say that to him. I’m not an .”

“Really?” Baekhyun’s voice is rising now. He can feel the anger he’s been trying to hold back slowly rising to the surface. His annoyance with Jongin is digging at him, beginning to make his body shake. He knows he shouldn’t say what he knows is about to come out of his mouth. “Because, from what I’ve heard, you’re exactly that.”

Jongin throws his arms to his sides and grips the cushion beneath him hard. His face twists in anger; he looks just short of snarling like a rabid dog.

“What the does that make you then, huh?” He stands when Baekhyun narrows his eyes, challenging him to do something. “Making him come live with you. Being his shoulder to cry on. Taking advantage of him when he’s upset.” He nods, gives Baekhyun a twisted smile that says he’s proud of himself. “Yeah, I know you like him. Any ing idiot could see that.” He steps closer. “You’re no better than me. In fact,” another step leaves them no more than a few inches apart, “you’re worse.”

Baekhyun wishes he had it in him to articulate a good comeback, to tell Jongin how he couldn’t be more wrong about him. He wishes he could talk Jongin through how he turned down Sehun’s offered kiss. Or, how he told Sehun, to his face, that moving in together probably wasn’t the best idea. If anyone has taken advantage of Sehun, it’s Jongin. But, Baekhyun is too pissed off to say any of that and, quite frankly, he’d much rather just punch Jongin.

For a moment, they just glare at each other, Baekhyun’s fists clenched tight at his sides. Jongin isn’t backing down. It’s like he wants this, wants Baekhyun to get angry enough to hit him. Baekhyun wants that as well. But, Sehun doesn’t need that. Sehun is better than Jongin, deserves better than him; he deserves better than two people fighting over him in the living room. Baekhyun stares at Jongin with disdain. This person that Sehun’s idolized, been in love with for years, he’s not even half the man Sehun’s thought him to be. And, Baekhyun has never been more pissed about anything in his life. He’s angry that Sehun wasted so much time desperate for affection from such a vile person, a person that isn’t worthy of the love Sehun has been so ready to offer him.

“You’re right,” Baekhyun finally says, stepping down, backing away and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He takes a moment to enjoy the confusion on Jongin’s face. “Neither of us are good enough for him.” He shakes his head, unaware of Sehun standing in the hallway, hugging a box of clothes to his chest. “But the difference between you and me is that I can admit it.”

“You—”

“Hey Baek, can you come help me?” Sehun interrupts Jongin, stopping him from taking a step toward Baekhyun. He enters the room, smiling like nothing had happened, not wanting either of them to know he’d overheard them just now. “Just,” he quickly glances at Jongin before turning his back to him, “I think it would be faster with some help.”

Baekhyun agrees, shooting Jongin one final dirty look as he walks past him to follow Sehun into his room.

“Thank you,” Sehun says once it’s just them alone in his room.

Baekhyun bends down to grab a box, begins shoving clothes into it. “It’s no problem,” he shrugs, “Like you said, it’ll be faster this way.”

“No,” Sehun says, grabbing Baekhyun’s arm to stop him from packing, to make him look at him, “I meant thank you for what you said…for sticking up for me to Jongin.” He’s looking down at his feet now, but his hand is still wrapped around Baekhyun’s arm. He sighs. “I really appreciate it.”

The way Sehun looks at him just then makes Baekhyun’s heart flutter and he smiles, tries to laugh it off like he didn’t do anything anyone else wouldn’t have done. “Oh that? It was nothing. Jongin is an and he deserves to know it.”

After the absolute show that was packing his things and officially moving out of his dorm, complete with one final argument that ended with Jongin storming out and slamming the door, a few rounds of shots at the bar is a necessity. The two go drop Sehun’s stuff of at the apartment and then meet up with Chanyeol at their favorite campus dive bar.

They all take turns buying round after round until they’re pleasantly, and stupidly, drunk.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Baekhyun says, flashing a smile to both boys before sauntering off.

Sehun and Chanyeol both watch him as he walks away, but when Sehun finally brings his attention back to the table, Chanyeol is staring at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Sehun questions, taking a quick sip from his beer.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Sehun squints in confusion. “What do you mean?” He’s very obviously too drunk for a serious conversation right now, but he takes a deep breath and tries his best to focus.

“I mean you moving in with Baekhyun.” He clenches his jaw; it looks like he doesn’t want to say what he knows is about to come out of his mouth. “Look, I’ve basically accepted that Baekhyun is never going to have feelings for me. I think it started to sink in a while ago, to be honest, back when I first realized he liked you. I’m doing my best to move on and make my heart catch up with my head.” He grips his beer firmly and stares right into Sehun’s eyes. “But, he’s still my best friend and if you hurt him-“ He takes a moment to finish the rest of his beer, a nice little dramatic pause that has Sehun on edge. “-I’ll never forgive you.”

Sehun gulps; hearing a threat come from Chanyeol is terrifying. But then, Chanyeol gives him one of his wide, goofy grins and pats him on the shoulder just as Baekhyun returns to the table.

“So,” Baekhyun says, mischievous glint in his eyes, “how drunk are we getting tonight?”

Once again, Baekhyun finds himself heaved up onto Sehun’s back as they drunk-waddle down the campus streets. Chanyeol is there this time, which is a new addition. Admittedly a good addition, because Chanyeol is much more responsible than the other two.

Chanyeol keeps cracking jokes that have Baekhyun howling in fits of tearful laughter; Sehun would be laughing just as hard were it not for him trying desperately to not drop Baekhyun. At one point, Chanyeol swears he sees a cop car, and the speed at which Baekhyun shimmies down Sehun’s back to stand upright and poised, as if he were sober, impresses everyone. They realize after a moment it’s only a pizza delivery car, and the roaring laughter starts again.

But this time, Baekhyun has his fingers laced with Sehun’s as their arms swing happily between them. Baekhyun uses this as leverage to pull Sehun closer to him so that he can curl up against his chest, where he presses his face to stifle his laughter. He looks up when Sehun snorts, something he only does while drunk, something Baekhyun has always found charming about him.

He looks up and Sehun, with his arms wrapped loosely around Baekhyun’s waist, looks down. Sehun smiles; it’s been a very long time since he’s kissed someone. He watches the way Baekhyun chews at his bottom lip as they hold eye contact. Sehun really wants to kiss someone. And, Baekhyun’s right there, he thinks to himself, it would be really easy. He frowns slightly, trying to work through his drunk haze to figure out why his brain is telling him that kissing Baekhyun would be a terrible idea. He stares at Baekhyun’s perfectly pink lips, they don’t look like a terrible idea.

No sooner had Sehun’s eyes closed, than Chanyeol was ripping the two apart. Baekhyun giggles as he stumbles from the force of being pulled by Chanyeol, blissfully unaware of what Sehun was just about to do.

Sehun returns Chanyeol’s glare, confused as to why they were even glaring in the first place. Is Chanyeol mad at him? The way Chanyeol looks at Sehun when he tries to pull Baekhyun back toward him keeps Sehun in line for the rest of the walk home. He doesn’t understand what he did to piss Chanyeol off, but he knows Chanyeol looks absolutely frightening when he’s mad.

They eventually reach Baekhyun and Sehun’s apartment and everyone breathes a sigh of relief, happy to finally get inside where they don’t have to worry about being arrested for public intoxication.

Baekhyun flops himself down onto the couch and almost immediately falls asleep, mouth open and drooling.

Sehun is still having trouble looking at Chanyeol, whatever happened earlier he doesn’t remember now, but he still knows he ed up somehow. And he just knows Chanyeol is going to remind him before he leaves; he’s not looking forward to it.

“You need to make up your mind,” is what Chanyeol finally says just before leaving. There’s no bite to his words, no anger. It’s only concern; his voice is filled with audible affection as he watches Baekhyun snoring away. “Don’t lead him on, Sehun, we both know he deserves better than that.”

Sehun thinks about Chanyeol’s words for a long time before falling asleep.

He dreams about kissing Baekhyun on the sidewalk under a streetlight, no Chanyeol there to stop them. Baekhyun’s fingers curl against his waist, nails pulling at the fabric of his shirt as he takes a deep breath and gets up on his toes to better reach Sehun’s lips. Somewhere in the depths of his mind he knows it’s a dream, but the way Baekhyun smiles against his lips feels real.

He wakes up with a gasp, body covered in a sticky sweat, and what feels like an elbow jammed into his ribs. It’s still dark out; he can barely make out the clock on his night stand. 4:32. He sighs and throws his head back onto his pillow. How long had Baekhyun been in his bed with him? Should he wake him up? Send him off to his own bed?

He gently traces Baekhyun’s body with his palm, trying to make out where his face is without waking him. Sehun finds that it’s not Baekhyun’s elbow jabbing him in the ribs, it’s his knee, and he’s curled up almost in fetal position. Sehun smiles and pulls the blankets up over the both of them, makes sure to cover Baekhyun’s shoulders.

Sehun still feels like kissing someone, maybe even Baekhyun, but he’s now sober enough to remember why Chanyeol was glaring, and just why that would be a terrible idea.