5.

I hear the sound of the door behind me slides opened then a series of footsteps follows. Minseok comes to my sight, sets in a jar of plain water with an empty glass and lets out a heavy sigh as he takes his seat by the side of my bed. Meanwhile I am crossing legs, sitting facing the window glass with my eyes do not even budge from looking at the scenery outside. It snows, those tiny white flakes fall down from the sky – beautifully in my eyes, sadly for my heart.

Just like the weather out there, my mind froze as well. The dry ones are not only my lips, but also the trails of tears on my cheeks.

Winter used to be my favorite among these four and I really loved to spend a few days on the ski resort for ice-skis or snowboarding with my college mates – but not anymore. I am literally stuck in this stuffy cramped space, not being able to move anywhere outside without permission.

Ever since she left, I’ve been hating my life. I went to England with a reluctant heart, everyday my steps felt like I’d be going to hell.

Will I?

On every morning, I swore a lot to express how much I was resenting Him for me having to go through another hard sorrowful day.

Well I guess now He gives me what I wanted.

“Baekhyun, it’s been a week since you’ve been thinking about it. Enough already.”

I smile faintly, wiping the remaining tears that suddenly rolls down my left cheek. “I’m sorry.” Then my mouth let out a dry chuckle. “I just can’t forgive myself for saying something mean…”

“At the very least, she deserves it. Doesn’t she?”

“I don’t know, maybe she does. However still…why I was being that bitter? I have no intention to say those things to her but…” Then I bring my knees up close into a hug while my chin rest on them. “She must be hurting for it…she’s a crybaby, really.”

“Are you sure it was only her who is a crybaby?” The older guy hands me my favorite red beanie, and so I wear it on my head but then pulls it down till it covers my whole face to hide the sudden flowing tears. I hate this, I hate doing this. More than anyone I really want us to reconcile, but it isn’t that simple. Especially when my condition is like this, I think reconciling is useless, since we’ll separate again in the end.

And this time it would be forever…

Minseok breathes, silently pours a glass of plain water before offering it to me, so I wipe my tears away and took the glass to sip some of it. It hurts to gulp the down the water but I wasn’t sure on what cause; is it an aftereffect of too much tears consumption or is it my body’s fault?

“Are you sure?”

I am bit shocked for the sudden question but later after few seconds, my face loses its tense as I get what he meant. “I’m not exaggerating, but hyung, really…” I shake my head while letting out a chuckle of amusement. “This is the 20th time you ask me this question today. Aren’t you tired of asking?”

“I won’t be.” He gives me a stern look, which is quite scary of him but of course, I am used to it. Minseok straighten his back and his brows furrows, a heavy sigh comes out from his mouth later on. “Baekhyun, things will get worse. You really have to do something.”

“That’s my plan anyway. Didn’t I mentioned it to you, ever since I contacted you before coming back here?”

“But this is wrong, Baekhyun. It’s not that because it’s my job…” The older guy’s voice tone down a notch. “It’s because you are a brother to me. Just like a real one…I can’t afford to see you like this.”

Again, the silence comes and conquers the whole room. I look away from him, biting my inner cheeks and holding in my breath. It takes about a minute or two before Minseok gets up again, turning his back against me as he walks out from the room. “Please think about it again, before it’s too late…” The guy leaves me with those words I hear the door being sled, closing it shut, keeping me out from the world again.

“Hey, rookie.”

I lift my head up but barely looking at the person who is standing in front of me now. She did not really care either, but it caught my attention when one of her manicured fingers is pointing at the one corner of the room. that is currently chewing a piece of gum or whatever stops it motion and that plum pink lips of hers is being puckered to the same direction. A stack of clothes. That is what she is pointing at – more like a few stacks, they are all fully-covered with transparent plastics.