twenty

What If....
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Sorry for the late late update! Got some holidays need to be spent with family! Well then, enjoy! And drop your comment!

 

 

20.

 

“Well no worries, I’ll just shave it all later,” he looks up at me – who is standing by the door in my baby blue satin night gown, still recovering from the shock of seeing Baekhyun gripping a ball of fallen hair in his whole fist. I have seen it in dramas, or documentaries but I do not expect that it would be that much. And the feelings are obviously different because now, the one who experiencing it is my beloved one.

Baekhyun’s lips curl in a brittle smile, much similar as mine who gives him an empathizing look.

My eyes lock on him all the time as that man throws those hair away in the dustbin and walks to the bathroom to wash up his hand. Baekhyun is cheerfully beaming at me as if nothing had happened however I know that face very well. He shows that he is alright when he doesn’t.

And so as I heard the tap water keeps on running, I step into the bathroom and get a sight of Baekhyun dazes, emptily staring down. From the reflection, I could see there are tears running down his face thus slowly, I turn the tap down and wrap my arms around both his shoulders with my face resting on his back.

Baekhyun loses up to 4 pounds after the first chemo session which makes his face looks smaller, also his arms feel so much thinner than before.

“B…”

“What? I’m okay…” His beam appears, however his fingers keeps on grazing on the corner of his eyes down to the cheeks – wiping away his trails of tears. That man turns his body to face me and grips my shoulders firmly. “I’m okay, I swear,” he tells his white lies, with a shaky breath. “Being bald? Already did it during the enlistment.” He laughs emptily and I did not answer, enough to just shoot a look into those pair of brown orbs which looks glassier as time passes by.

“Baekhyun…” I call him sweetly, my arms down to cup his face. A smile is pulled as I remind him, “You have me, remember?”

I see his pupils dilated, lips pursed then those hands travels to round my waist and finally, Baekhyun gave in as he lands his face at the crook of my neck. “What am I going to do?” he asks, burying his face deeper than before, holding tighter than ever. “I don’t want to lose in this battle.”

“Neither do I.”

“I really don’t want to die.” Baekhyun begins to sob, his shoulder moves up and down as he pours his feelings out in form of tears. “I want to live with you forever, with the kids.”

My hand travels up to his back, softly patting him. “So do I.” I purse my lips together, holding back the tears that I have been keeping since forever. I made a promise with myself that along the journey with Baekhyun, I wouldn’t drop a single tears in front of him, or the kids. All the pain and sorrow, I would rather to keep it by myself. Baekhyun has suffered enough, I could not bear to add it up with my grief.

The sound of Baekhyun’s weep fills up the bathroom. He looks so vulnerable right at this moment that I could feel my heart drops to the ground and breaks into pieces.

Every second I hope I could switch place with him, I don’t mind to carry the pain rather than seeing him falling apart this way. However this is our fate, the cruel and cold fate. Some people from my reading said that cancer could be a beautiful journey but all I do right now is resenting it. Perhaps only the patients could find the meaning of that ‘beauty’ they said. Because it seems like I can’t.

I let Baekhyun let it all out first, and that takes quite a long time before he finally calms down and slowly, that man pulls away. With a thin smile on my lips, I vow, “We’ll watch Joonie and Jooie grow up, I promise. You did too, right?”

“W-What if I break it?”

“Mr. Baekhyun, sir.” My hands shift down, holding his as I lift my head up to look at him in the eyes. “I know you very well. And you never break any of them.” I beam, reassuring him while my fingers run to his face and softly grazes to his cheeks and eyes, then boop his nose teasingly. I could see Baekhyun’s relaxed expression changes to a frown, and grows clearer as chuckles escapes my mouth. “You are so red right now.”

He blinks at me, deadpanned and gradually curves a smile then snorts. “I know, right?” he pouted. “I’m the man who doesn’t easily cry, you know?”

“Oh?” I hum and lift a brow, provoking. “I don’t remember it like that because last time…”

My heart tickles as Baekhyun gasp at me in disbelief. As that man tails me out of the room he keeps on insisting, “I’m saying the truth, though. I’m very manly, you little miss!”

Baekhyun lets out his soft grunts while matching up with my quick pace and so I stop right away and turn to him again, intentionally to close our distance with each other’s face. “I know,” I snake my arms around his neck and leans in to dart a peck on the lips. My eyes squint at an empty space, pretentiously tries to remember something. “Also, Jooie once told me, superheroes cry too.”

Upon that, he looks away while bursts out a short laugh, amused. “Well, y

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kyungfident
okay I personally love this fic so now I'm reluctant to end it

Comments

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Baebae1485
#1
It was sooooo heartbreakingggg😭😭😭
potatoface7894
#2
Woah I'm so excited to have some time and start reading this story! It's just that I feel like I will cry a river while doing it?? Lol I'll put it in my 'to read' list for now, it sounds so promisinggg *squeals*
Shereenk03 #3
Chapter 11: WHY DO I KEEP CRYING
I'm only on chapter 11 but I can already tell u this is gonna be my all time favorite fanfic
Bluerhino #4
Chapter 10: I don’t know how many times I read this story all over again.... I love all those angsty moments so much
Amrina96 #5
Chapter 30: Moving on to this next story ~
Amrina96 #6
Chapter 30: THATS IT!! I KNOW IM BEING SUPER DUPER LATE HERE BUT HERE IM GONNA SAY THAT IM SO PROUD OF MY BB GIRL FOR WRITING THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF FIC!! JUST BEING SO PERFECTLY BUILT FROM THE CHARACTERS, THE CONFLICTS, THE STORY LINE AND AS WELL AS THE ENDING AGAIN IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY!! ??? KEEP IT UP GIRL ❤️❤️❤️
Amrina96 #7
Chapter 18: Im back after soooo looongg
Amrina96 #8
Chapter 18: Im back after soooo looongg
Amrina96 #9
Chapter 18: Im back after soooo looongg
tris01__exol
#10
Chapter 20: my heart broke when his hair started falling ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ