13.

“Are you really sure you can do this?”

I look up at the man’s face which is clearly showing his concern and worries for what I have been telling him ever since I handed over my resignation letter right on his desk a week ago. And so I nod lightly with a smile of reassurance. My hands reach for his which are placed right on my shoulders, squeezing those big hands gently before putting them down. “I will be okay. This would be hard for sure, but you know I won’t back down, right?”

“But if you feel like you can’t handle this…”

“I know, I know,” I chuckle softly. “I definitely will find you if that situation ever comes.” I turn to my right, glancing at the twins who are currently sleeping on their bed. Yesterday had been a very long day for all of us. In its noon I have decided to confront Minseok – after a long hesitation – and it had become much longer and harder when Baekhyun caught a fever out of sudden which affected him quite severely. All of us stayed at the hospital till late night as we waited until we were rest assured that Baekhyun’s condition is stable – and those twins are the ones who insisted the most, begging me to let them stay.

Honestly I had no strength to even stand up when I saw the doctors surround him, even worser when they informed that they suspected the cancer cell is attacking his diaphragm, resulting in difficulties in Baekhyun's breathing – but having those pairs of little hands held me tight makes me determined to stay composed.

If I keep on being weak, then who would protect them? If I think I am having a hard time, wouldn’t it be tougher for them?

I already felt very sorry to Hyun Joo due to what happened yesterday. She couldn’t stop crying for hours as she saw her dad was in pain, I was very worried that it would gave an impact towards her emotion but Minseok said it is better that she cried – because that is one of the sign of a true response, rather than having the child shut closed and traumatized without the adult’s awareness. And of course, Chanyeol is more than ready to handle the kids, since their mom is now going to be a caregiver who might be spending a lot – very lot ­– of time at the hospital.

“You’ve helped me too much, Chanyeol.” I breathe, “I don’t know how I would ever be able to repay you.”

“Please, if you could not take this as a help from a friend,” he takes my hand and places my car keys on my palm. “Then take all of this as a payment of me putting the lives of all three of you in danger that time.”

I huff and roll my eyes then jokingly cluck my tongue at Chanyeol before taking that keys bunch from him. “Then I’ll take that as a friend’s help.” My hand slaps his arm lightly as I frown, “You need to stop blaming yourself. It has been five years and after all, it was an accident.”

We step out of the room and Chanyeol walk me till the door. “Are you going to tell him today?”

“Yes.” I answer, almost inaudibly as I was talking while facing the ground to put on my shoes. “I need to that first before anything.” My eyes give a glance to the inside, flickering at the room of the twins then to Chanyeol who is standing right in front of my eyes in his white plain tee with sweatpants. “Are you sure they are going to be alright?”

“You know those kids are very smart just like their mother, right?” he chuckles. “They will be fine, and I would bring them this afternoon for a visit.”

Chanyeol beams, putting a hand of his right on top of my head before patting it lightly. “Have strength, and cheer up.”

“Thank you, Chanyeol. You’ve always been a great help.”

It is already 11 in the morning when he wakes up alone in that room filled with silence. There is nothing other than the faint sound from the wind blow outside the window. The curtain has already been drawn a bit, making only some light enters the room.

Baekhyun’s eyes roam around that space and finds himself staring emptily at the bunch of origami cranes on the table. Also, there is a coloring book with a box of crayons on the other side of that small coffee table. Those two things are already enough to conclude how they spent their times together. On a first day that Hyun Joo came, she asked him to accompany her for a walk at the garden on the rooftop. After talking to the little kid – answering all her wonders about him – they had fun playing little games like riddles and Simon says.

He knows he shouldn’t be enjoying all of this, since Hyun Joo is someone else’s daughter and not to mention, his ex’s daughter. However he couldn’t help himself but to feel happy when the kid comes by despite feeling curious of the reasons behind it. Baekhyun have always been dreaming of having a children of his own, especially a daughter thus somehow it makes him feels attached towards the little girl. As if there are some kind of connection between them.

Now he wonders, how Hyun Joo would feel after seeing him in a very bad condition. Did he scare her off with the disease? Would she be alright?

He feels sorry for not being able to appear strong in front of that innocent girl.

Baekhyun is about to get off from the bed when he noticed a handbag is placed on the couch by the window. There is also a small bag of packed lunch besides it, ma