eleven
What If....11.
I shake my head off and cluck my tongue to the kids, my hands on the waist before I put my arms in akimbo. “I told you to brush your teeth, didn't I?”
“But Mommy, I’ve brushed them before sleep last night.”
Jooie pouts, then pulls a chair at the dining table for her to sit on meanwhile Hyun Joon is hugging my leg, still in a daze after waking up. I lean down to carry that boy up before taking out one hand to reach my daughter. “Then should you not eat today? Since you’ve had your dinner last night?”
“Alright, alright,” she whines then takes my hand as we stride together to the bathroom.
And so I do my daily routine of washing the kids up in the early morning and getting them dressed right after. School break for Christmas had just started, and so for the twins. Even on holidays, I taught them to keep becoming a morning person because – you know, they are – kids.
“Mommy, actually…last night I found your photos…”
“What photo?”
“The album…the red one.”
Immediately I pause at putting Joonie’s shirt on and turn my head, looking straight at my daughter.
“What do you mean? You entered Mommy’s room?”
“I was only looking for my Twansfowmers…!” Suddenly Jonnie speaks up, confessing his deeds. “Sowwy, Mommy. We shouldn’t have done that.”
Of course they feel guilty, since I’ve been teaching them to respect each other’s privacies – even if it’s your family members – because they should learn that courtesy from a very young age. ‘Guess I’ve been teaching them well,’ my heart whispers, feeling proud of my children.
And so my lips stretches, forming a reassuring smile.
“That’s okay if you both admitted your fault, I’ll definitely forgive you.” My hands reach for them both, gently caressing their soft and black hair. “I know you guys have looked through the pictures…well, what’s your wonder, then?”
Jooie lifts up her gaze, I see her eyes light up as if she is very relieved that I’m not mad, also happy that I am ready to hear her out. “I remember the man from the picture, he’s the uncle whom I met the other day…I really like to talk to him.” she murmurs. “Is he our Dad?”
“Exactly.” I smile, then wonder, “How did you guys figured that out?”
“Because Mommy looks so happy with him.”
To be honest, I am a bit surprised at the unexpected answer from Hyun Joon. He is grinning while hugging my waist, leaning his head on my right arm. “Mommy glows in those pictures, I’m weally happy to see you like that.”
“And also…” This time, Jooie gives her reasoning. “He looks really similar with Oppa.” My daughter points at her brother and laughs a little, scratching the back of her head. “I mean, Oppa looks really similar to him.”
“They both are really similar, indeed.” I chuckle, glancing at Joonie who is sitting on my right lap. “Even their personalities are also the same.”
Hyun Joon pulls away, tilting his head up to look at me again. “He must love you so much then,” my son comments. “Since I love Mommy more than anything.”
“Then why do you two aren’t together? Do you not love Dad, Mommy?”
“I love him, Hyun Joo.” And I silently sigh, “Too much, perhaps.” I know I am not supposed to do that, but I feel like tearing up out of sudden. I feel stupid, and useless. I left my loved ones, also resulting in separating my two lovely children with their father. And now…when I found out that Baekhyun is sick…my mind goes blank. I don’t know what to do. I am afraid of any possible outcomes after this. I am afraid of our future as a family.
“Mommy?” Joonie’s hand reaches for my cheeks, cupping them softly before landing a quick kiss on the tip of my nose. That boy smiles, “The other day, teacher told us that superheroes cry too. So you don’t need to hide your tears from us anymore.”
My tears has finally drop and I giggle in between of wiping them and pulling the twins close to my chest, holding them tight around my arm. With all my heart, I plant a kiss at each of their crowns. “Where did you two learn of being this mature? You two aren’t allowed to grow up so fast, okay…?”
Sure, things are going to be very hard from now on. But no matter what may happen, I know I would never be alone.
“By the way, Hyun Joo…” An idea pops in my head. “Mommy have a mission. Would you love to participate?”
“You’ve been out for three days.”
“Hyung.”
Baekhyun gets up to sit straight and turns to the friend who is standing right by his bed. Minseok lifts a brow and hum a question mark, asking the former to proceed.
“What about her? Is she okay?”
“Fool,” he cuss. “Shouldn’t you be asking about what happened to you first? Don’t you want to know about your cur
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