I in a sharp breath, clutching the wall with one hand, my other flying to my forehead.

“Aish,” I hissed, squeezing my head tight, for some reason thinking that would help stop the pain. I kept my eyes closed, my eyes brows knitting until the pain started to fade. Slowly I reopened them as my headache reduced to a numbing sting.

“Kibum? Are you okay?” I sighed and looked over towards Jinki, who was half out of his seat on the couch across from me, a look of worry on his features, as well as on Taemin and Minho’s – though Minho was still seated and Taemin was walking towards me. I made eye contact with all of them and nodded slowly.

“Hyung…” Taemin started, putting his arm around my shoulders and holding onto my arms, slowly walking back to where I had just been on the couch, “we told you not to move, stop being so stubborn. You should be happy they let you out of the hospital. I know you say you’re fine, but the drugs they gave you aren’t giving you the upper hand right now.” He said, trying to soothe me. I gave a small-tiny-bit-forced smile and nodded, lying down on the couch again.

“Can’t I go to my room? Or… Jjong’s room?” I added the last bit lightly, trying to make it sound as an afterthought. Taemin shook his head though.

“No hyung, you won’t even make it that far. You barely made it through the door. Just go to sleep okay?” I sighed, a little frustrated that I was being treated like a wounded puppy, but nodded none the less. “Good, we’re going to go sit on the balcony, text us him you need anything okay?” I nodded again and watched as Taemin left my side, and met the others at the sliding screen door. Minho reached over and dimmed the lights, trying to make it easier for me to relax. I smiled at them and they turned to exit the room. I closed my eyes and waited for the click of the door to signal they were outside.

Well, I guess I should explain what happened…

So, basically after we got out and had our little reunion moment, I suddenly got a really bad head ache. Then I lost my balance and, well, I sort of crumbled to the ground. Jonghyun nearly had a heart attack – I remember Minho telling him that he seemed to be over reacting a bit – Jjong got mad at that. They had paramedics on standby – in fact Jjong was sitting in the back of one of the trucks getting checked out. I had declined going first, thinking I was fine – I was wrong. After I collapsed they rushed me to the ER. Jonghyun rode with me, and the rest of them followed. I could barely stay conscious so I don’t remember much of what happened after getting into the truck. The pain is something I remember though… I can’t even tell you how much I wanted to just rip out my eyes.

Everything hurt; I could feel the pounding in my temples, like a hammer was beating through my skull from the inside out. I was clawing at my face trying to get the pain to stop. Jonghyun held my hands, trying to calm me down, soothe me, make the pain go away – and to stop me from scaring my face, or injuring myself any further.

I don’t remember much after that… Just what the guys sort of filled me in on – and what the nurses told me, they liked to gossip.

Once we got there I was rushed somewhere but they wouldn’t let Jjong come too, he went to a different part and finished getting checked out. Turns out he was actually fine, just a few scrapes and bruises.

I, on the other hand, hit my head much harder than I thought. Turns out I had a concussion. And no, they don’t know why I was seemingly fine for such a long period of time, and then suddenly got knocked over like a train hit me – or if they do they wouldn’t tell me.

After I was relatively better, Taemin, Jinki and Minho all came in my room and sort of just hung out with me for awhile – I was going to have to stay the night, but they were allowed to stay for awhile if I wanted. After awhile, I got really confused as to why Jonghyun wasn’t with them. It hurt my head when I started to get flustered. I asked a lot of questions as to where he was and why he wasn’t there. Eventually they got him, and brought him to my room.

I got really excited, and nervous, and just a lot of emotions kind of flooded through me – plus I was like high on meds at this point, so I couldn’t really dictate how I reacted when he walked in the room.

I started to break into a cold sweat, then I started to cry, and I couldn’t keep any sentences straight. Jonghyun freak out, he was so confused, and Minho started to get mad, accusing Jjong of doing something to me before – that only made me cry harder. Soon enough my heart rate picked up enough that the nurses came in and ushered every one out for the night.

Apparently Jjong got an earful from Minho when they were on the way back to the hotel.

The next day, when I was less insane and healthy enough to go ‘home’, Taemin and Jinki came to get me. I was okay for the car ride, and even up the elevator – I know, I’m shocked too – but once I got out I started to feel dizzy, so they had to help me the rest of the way, then I passed out on the couch and haven’t been allowed to move since.

I woke up and asked if Jjong had come back with them last night and Minho got all red faced and stormed out of the room mumbled incoherent rants about something or other, Taemin explained that Minho fort of confined Jonghyun to his room. One reason is because he shouldn’t be moving to much either, and the second is because of how I reacted when I saw him last time. Minho was afraid it would happen again, and if I was here I wouldn’t have any nurses to come in and drug me up enough for me to pass out and calm down. I initially disagreed and demanded that I saw him, but they ended up telling me they agreed. They weren’t mad at Jjong – like Minho was – they just wanted me to rest.

If you ask me, everyone is being a big baby about this. I just want to see Jonghyun. I want him to call me ‘love’ and hold me in his arms and kiss me until I can’t breathe – not that I can breathe too well right now anyway.

I let out a sigh and turned my head, opening my eyes, squinting to read the clock above the TV across from the couch I was on. It was only seven o’clock. I guess taking a tap wouldn’t be bad. I turned my head back, shifting myself a bit, getting comfortable. Once I was settled I slowly breathed in and out, counting them until I was too tired to keep count and passed out.

---

My eyes snapped open as I jolted forward clutching my chest. I turned my head to look at the clock again. What the ?! It was one o’clock! How had I slept that long? . I was hoping I’d wake up after like two, three hours, then talk Taemin or Jinki into letting me see Jjong. There was no way I’d be able to walk to his room all by myself – not to mention I don’t know which was his, and if I walked into Minho’s instead he’d have a fit.

I sighed; this so wasn’t my day.

“Are you okay love?” I whipped my head around, coming face to face with the most gorgeous eyes I’d ever seen.

“Jonghyun.” I breathed. Without thinking I leaned into him, pushing my lips onto his, turning myself to face him. I wouldn’t let him get away; I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. I smiled when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me on top of him. Without breaking the kiss, he laid down on the couch and I sprawled on top of him, clinging to him desperately. After while though, we had to break.

“Jonghyun…” I whispered again. I felt him smile against my lips.

“Hey there love.” I felt the tears roll down my cheeks before I could stop them. As soon as he noticed he pushed us into a sitting position and started to brush his fingers against my cheeks to wipe them away. I smiled, still crying.

“I missed you.” I said, my voice sounding broken. I saw his composure crumble as he started to cry too.

“I missed you too.” He got out before he brought my face back to his. We kissed slowly, savoring each other’s presence. I pulled away, just wanting to see him, my hands still resting around his neck loosely, and his hands on my thighs.

“I love you,” I said, letting it linger in the air, my eyes never leaving his.

“I love you too.” I felt the tears coming again. I squeezed them shut in an attempt to stop them. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Jjong cooed, moving my hands from his neck to hold them between us.

“I’m sorry I acted the way I did, I was just happy, I didn’t want you to fight with Minho. I’m sorry we can’t tell anyone, I’m sorry we can’t walk around like a couple. I’m so sorry Jonghyun.” I started rambling out all the concerns that had come to my mind since I had a lot of time before to sit and think them up. “I’m sorry I can’t just walk around saying I’m in love with you, I’m sorry we can’t even tell Jinki and Taemin, who are in the same position as us. I’m sorry that I’m not a girl, so it would be easier for you. I’m so sorry!” my voice broke at the end of my rant.

I ripped my hands from his to press them against my eyes. I started to choke on sobs that got caught in my throat. I suddenly felt so bad that I wasn’t able to give him everything, and that I wasn’t everything he needed me to be.

“Kibum,” he pulled me to his chest, “hey, listen for a second,” I nodded, still crying, but let him know I was listening, “I love you.” A smile broke out on my face, but then I started to cry even harder.

“Kibum, I love you, and I don’t care that you’re not a girl or what every else you think I care about. I care about you; I love you just as you are. I’d love to walk around town and show you off as mine too, but I know we can’t do that, and I’m okay with that. Because it’s the moment like this, when you’re in my arms, that makes it okay.” He pulled me away from him to look me in the eyes.

“You are everything I’ve ever wanted, and all I’ll ever need, okay? Don’t you ever think differently.” He narrowed his eyes, waiting for some kind of sign that I got what he was saying. Unable to find my voice, I nodded. I felt the tears start to dry against my cheeks when I smiled at him.

“I love you Jonghyun.” I said quietly, but sincerely, “I’m sorry I never told you sooner.”

“I love you too, Kibum. I’m sorry I never realized it earlier. Now stop saying sorry okay?” And with that he pulled me towards him again. Our lips met in a soft touch. I had just wrapped my arms around his neck again when we heard a sudden soft, yet very audible clap.

We sprung apart, looking over by the doorway next to the TV, only to see three very smiley guys standing there, building up their slow clap into a flat out applause. I blushed madly, feeling very exposed for some reason.

“Okay, so no point in saying ‘it’s not what it looks like’ then right?” Jjong asked with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes.

“That was beautiful!” Taemin squealed, jumping a bit, still clapping. He turned to Jinki with an obviously fake pour on his face, “How come you’re never that romantic?” I let out a light laugh before clamping my hand over my mouth.

“Well,” I started, moving my hand away, “I guess you guys know now…” I didn’t know what else to say, so I just stated the obvious.

“I’m so sorry I got mad Jjong-hyung.” Minho said, stepping forward, obviously in a mini-panic. Jjong put a hand up before he could say more.

“No problem, don’t worry about it, I totally get it. I would’ve done the same thing.” Minho still didn’t look convinced, but retreated anyway.

“I’m going to go back to bed; I’ll see you all in the morning. Sorry again,” and with that Minho went back down the hall.

“Kibum,” Jinki said, I gulped, “You’ve got some explaining to do.” I swallowed, and tried to open my mouth to respond, but I just got more flustered, opening and closing my mouth without any sound coming out.

“We’re in love.” Jjong stated suddenly, pull me into his said, wrapping a protective arm around my waist, “Nothing more to explain.” I blushed at his boldness, but nodded slightly to show I agreed.

“Oh, I know! I just wanted the dirt!” I burst out laughing then – leave it to Jinki to use a serious tone for something like that.

“Me too!” Taemin giggled, flitting over to the chair next to our couch and pulling his feet to his chest, “Okay! Spill, start from the beginning!”

I laughed, but nodded my head; this was going to be a long night.

a/n: epilogue still to come, and i am fully aware of all the grammar ans spelling mistakes. I wrote this at 1am, and i wll go back and fix them all before i finish writing the final chapter/epilogue. Okay? I know it's annoying to read as it is, but bare with me. Again, i apolagize.