Kai came home and threw himself onto the couch. He wanted to scream. Everything about this day had . Every. Single. Thing.

'I'll be there in 5'

The message flashed on the screen. Ugh. He had totally forgotten. He had agreed to go on a second date with Suho tonight. Or he had planned on dumping him via text message beforehand, but with everything that was going on at school, it had completely slipped his mind. He had decided it was better just to break whatever this was off without telling him he wasn't really a girl. It was just easier that way. And Kaya didn't exist, so even if Suho tried to go after her, he wouldn't be able to find her anywhere. It was better that way.

He watched himself in the mirror. They had had a practice run of a piece they were preparing at school earlier so he already had some makeup on. It was stage makeup so it was a little dramatic, so he adjusted it a bit with a tissue and put the wig on. It didn't look great. It as much as this day . He threw the tissue at the mirror.

Five minutes. Was it too late to cancel? He really wasn't in the mood for a face to face confrontation right now. And even less in the mood for a fake date, filled with fake smiles.

'I'm sorry, I know this is last minute, but I had the worst day. Can we reschedule?' he wrote, but suggesting they should reschedule was giving Suho hope that this date would actually happen someday, when he was really just making him wait longer for the unavoidable end of their unfortunate encounter.

'I'm sorry, I know this is last minute, but I had the worst day. I don't think this is going to work. Not today, not ever.' he edited the message. His finger hovered over the send button, but it wouldn't budge. It was frozen in midair.

There was a knock on the door. It startled him. Oh no! He had accidentally sent the message! There was a pause in the knocks. He held his breath, full blown panicking. What should he do? Should he open the door to a freshly dumped, possibly super mad Suho? Should he pretend he wasn't home? His heart was like a hamster on a wheel, running faster and faster, until it missed a step and flip flopped on its head, only to get up and start running again.

His phone vibrated. He had gotten a message.

'Open the door.' it just said. He stared at it, unable to move. Maybe he was really mad.

There was a soft knock on the door.

Kai sighed and slowly approached the door. Unlocking it while holding his breath. He had no idea what to expect. He didn't even know why he was opening it, it would have been much safer just to wait it out. Suho would leave eventually, right?

He bit his lip, staring at the fancy shoes that appeared as he opened his front door.

“Can I come in for a minute?” Suho's voice was soft and quiet. He didn't sound mad. He didn't even sound sad. Did he not care about him enough to feel sad that he was dumping him?

Without meeting his eyes, he let him in.

“I'm sorry you had such a crappy day.” Suho said, standing in front of him, giving his upper arm a gentle . It tingled. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked, squeezing his shoulder encouragingly, making him feel like he wasn't alone. Kai shrugged, pouting slightly. He didn't know what to do. Why was he being so nice to him?

“Are you hungry?” Suho asked when he didn't say anything. He nodded.

“Okay, let me buy you dinner and you can tell me all about your awful day.” Suho locked arms with him and escorted him out the door. He smelled incredibly nice.

The elevator ride was quiet, but less awkward than last time. That was not to say that it wasn't awkward at all, but he was starting to feel like he had known Suho forever. There was something so familiar about him. And it felt like Suho knew him already and how to deal with him even when he was in a foul mood.

“Should we listen to some music?” Suho smiled and put on some light, easy listening pop music, suggesting there was no need to talk if he didn't want to. It felt kind of comfortable being silent with him. But as he started feeling better, he also became aware of how awful he looked, he hadn't even tried to style his hair. He checked himself out in the overhead mirror, not thrilled about what he saw. He closed it a little too brutally, so it slammed against the top of the car.

“You look beautiful.” Suho said, his hand patting his forearm reassuringly. Kai crossed his arms, not finding it very reassuring that Suho could just lie right to his face like that. There was no way he could actually find him beautiful right now. He was just saying it to appease him. It was annoying. It just made him more irritated.

The car stopped at a red light and Suho turned to face him. “No I mean it. It wasn't the makeup. When I said you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, I was looking at you, the you that's underneath all the crap.” he explained. Yeah right. If he had seen the real him, he would have realized that he was exactly that, a HE. No 's' in there.

“The crap? Are you calling my makeup crap?” Kai did a super pout on top of the smile that was dying to break out.

“Uh oh... no I eh... ehm... he he ... green light.” Suho pointed at the light and focused on the driving to get out of this dangerous conversation. Kai snorted. He was such a dork. It really was a part of his charm. He wouldn't have believed it, that being lame could be charming, but Suho was so consistently awkward and corny that it was kind of lovable.

“How can you be so polite and nice to me when... well... the message...” Kai drew invisible circles on the restaurant table, avoiding eye contact.

“You're just tired and hungry, the food is on its way.” Suho smiled, avoiding the topic.

“Just tired and hungry?! Are you calling me five years old?!? I just have to eat and sleep and then I'm smiling like some doll that's programed to do that!?? I have real problems you know. Real adult problems.” Kai growled. He knew he was perhaps being a little bit unfair but he just saw red. That guy was so annoying!

Suho sighed and just waited for the food to arrive, which irritated Kai even more. How passive aggressive could one person get?

Suho hadn't been completely wrong. He was hungry. So when the food arrived, he devoured it like a lion that hadn't eaten for weeks. And with each bite he felt a little bit better, to the point that half way through the meal, he was chatting away, telling Suho all about the audition he was preparing for and how everything was going awfully wrong. Suho smiled and nodded, clearly happy that he had been right. It was a special kind of annoying that he had been right all along.

“Wow, I've been ranting about ballet for an hour... you could've stopped me.” Kai chuckled shyly, his stomach that felt like it was going to burst at any moment.

“No! Why would I want that... if you care about it, I care about it.” Suho sent him a wink gone wrong, it looked more like he had gotten something in his eye. He giggled. That cheesy, super square rich guy was way too cute for his own good. Suho really should have taken the hint when he had the chance and escaped the heartache that was coming his way.

“So... that message.” Suho said in a more serious voice. Uh-oh. It felt like he was going to get scolded.

“It didn't really... feel good... to get a message like that. I understand you were upset after the day you've had, and that's okay. I want you to be yourself around me. But could you not... use our relationship to vent your frustrations.” Suho looked more vulnerable than he usually did. Kai realized Suho might use his smile to mask the softie who was hiding behind it. Kind of like he did himself.

“Ehh... our relationship?” Kai stammered. Wasn't this moving a bit too fast?

“No.. or well... yeah. I mean... we're dating, right?” Suho pointed out.

“Mmm yeaaah, I guess.” Kai reluctantly agreed.

“You're not dating anyone else are you?” Suho bit his lower lip, his confidence faltering.

“Uh... no.” Kai answered honestly, since he wasn't. But that didn't mean he had agreed to not see other people.

“So doesn't that kind of mean we are in a relationship? Anyway, call me names or pick a fight with me, fine, I'll help you vent your anger and frustrations, but please, never break up with me just because you're in a bad mood. Promise me that if or when you want to break up for real, that you'll come to me and discuss it with me, face to face.” Suho didn't wait for his answer and single handedly entered them in a committed relationship. This was a tangled web Kai was sinking deeper and deeper into. He had to watch out before he got completely stuck. He could feel that now was his last chance to come clean.

“I don't know... I'm usually super shy and don't let anyone except the people closest to me see my moody side. But when I'm with you it just.. comes out, whether I like it or not. I'm sorry.” he started explaining, his insides starting to squirm around in his gut.

“Don't apologize! That just means I get under your skin.” Suho said excitedly.

“How can you say that so happily?” Kai snorted, distracted by Suho's weird enthusiasm.

“Because that means you like me.” Suho grinned widely, his eyes beaming.

“Ehh...” Kai wondered whether there was some truth to that. “So I ... uh... have to tell you something...” he played with a single pea that was rolling around on his plate.

“Oh?” Suho asked, but then his phone rang and he excused himself.

The phone call took forever. Kai had his fingernails for desert as he agonized over how he was going to tell him.

“I'm so sorry, I'm going to have to cut this short. If it were up to me, I would want this night to go on forever, but duty calls. Do you mind if we make a couple of stops on our way back?” Suho looked like it was something extremely important, so Kai just nodded, exhaling in relief. Saved by the bell.

“This is where you live?” Kai looked up at a skyscraper that seemed to reach all the way up to space and beyond.

“Yeah.” Suho smiled. “I just have to change my clothes real quick. Do you want to come up with me or do you want to wait here?”.

“I'm coming with.” he answered at once. He was dying to see his amazing apartment.

Nothing could have been further from the truth. Kai caught his jaw before it fell to the floor in surprise, since he didn't want it to touch that dirty floor. He looked around in complete shock. He could see that it had once been a fancy penthouse-like apartment, but that was before it turned into a proper dump. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks. There were clothes and crap everywhere. He could just spot the corner of a designer couch, under a mountain of dirty laundry.

“Hehh, I'm kind of in between cleaning ladies.” Suho awkwardly chuckled when he came back out of his room and saw Kai's reaction.

“Oh, we've got to get going.” he checked his watch and threw on a tie.

“Hang on a second.” Kai stopped him at the door. His tie was all kinds of crooked. He was wearing a suit that was probably more expensive than everything Kai owned. It really suited him.

Kai reached out and fixed the tie for him, adjusting the knot and then without thinking, he down the length of the tie to smooth it out, but he could feel his chest and the top of his abs underneath. He was surprisingly fit, all chiseled and muscly. When he caught himself liking it a little too much, he quickly pulled his hand away, as if he had gotten burned.

He looked up, finding Suho's eyes looking straight at him. There was something in his eyes. A mix of surprise, intrigue, warmth and want. Kai got a jolt in his stomach when he realized how close they were standing. Neither of them said a word, they just stood there, looking into each other's eyes. He smelled so good. And he looked amazing. Kai really liked seeing himself with Suho's eyes. He saw all the good parts, but he also embraced the not so good ones. The only thing he apparently didn't see were his man-parts.

He knew that if he leaned forward just a little bit, their lips would meet. He could feel how curious his lips were, craving a delicious kiss. Why didn't Suho kiss him? Why? Did he have something against kissing? This was the perfect moment. There was electricity in the air. They clearly both wanted to. But they just stood there, looking longingly into each other's eyes until Suho snapped out of it, panicking over how late they were.

Kai waited in the car while Suho took some important documents to some important people, he could see them through the window of the lobby. Suho looked like a million bucks. Even though he was tiny and petite, he had the biggest presence there. He was very clearly in charge of everyone that was there. He was sharp and focused, and very serious about his work. Kai had never seen him like this. This was not his silly, swoony, love struck idiot. This was a proper CEO, polite to a fault, but also quietly dominant. He was starting to see him differently. Maybe there was more to him than he had originally thought. He looked like he had been plucked straight from a Korean drama show, handome and rich. Except, maybe he wasn't as tidy and perfect as he had thought. His apartment suggested otherwise. Apparently, Suho had more layers than he had anticipated. He had to rethink everything.

“Aaand here we are.” Suho said cheerfully as they arrived in front of Kai's apartment building. “I'm sorry I couldn't take you straight home, and I'm sorry I couldn't spend the whole night with you.” he added, sounding very sincere. “Do you want to have breakfast with me?”.

Kai nearly choked on his own saliva, coughing loudly.

“Uuuuhm....” he was so surprised, he didn't know what to say. He had not seen this coming. This was a guy that missed every single timing for the perfect kiss, and now, out of the blue, he was asking him to sleep with him, like nothing was more natural?

In full honesty, he wouldn't have minded sleeping with him, based on his not so scientific study earlier, of his very fine physique, but there was no way. Suho still thought he was a girl. If he brought him up to his apartment and things got heated, not even Suho could be daft enough not to notice certain parts that didn't belong.

“Oh!!!” Suho exclaimed and put his hand over his mouth. “Oh no! No, no, no... aaah... please don't misunderstand! I'm not suggesting... oh no... I don't mean, you know... no, no...” he waved his hand fiercely, eager to clear up the misunderstanding. Kai couldn't see how you could mean something else by that request. So what did he mean then? He had never dated anyone this long without some real skinship, of the intimate kind. And why would you? Wasn't the skinship the whole point? Those straight guys were weird.

“No, I just... meant that I would pick you up tomorrow morning, and we would have breakfast together before work.” Suho dried a couple of pearls of sweat that had sprouted on his forehead. Kai didn't really get it, what did he gain by having breakfast with him. A meal that could lead nowhere?

“Okay:” he heard himself saying. He wasn't sure why, but hey, free breakfast.

“That way I know you've eaten and gotten a good start to your day.” Suho smiled widely and bade him goodnight. Without a goodnight kiss, of course. This was getting ridiculous. Sure, it was to his advantage that they never did anything remotely intimate, but he almost wanted to kiss him just on principle.

“Good morning, beautiful!” Suho greeted him fondly, with a sweet smile and coffee.

They ate together at a small, posh breakfast place, which was actually pretty nice, but it irritated Kai how intensely polite Suho always was. He was polite to the point that it was impolite. After all they had gone through together so far, they should be getting closer and more intimate, but by being so overly polite, Suho was maintaining a wall between them. He reminded himself that he wanted that wall to be there, he needed that wall. Still, it annoyed him.

“You know, you don't always have to be so polite. You can just relax.” Kai pointed out when Suho pulled out the chair for him.

“I'm relaxed.” he just said, not understanding the problem.

Kai just sighed, trying to convince himself that it was a good thing to keep their distance.

After an otherwise lovely breakfast, Suho dropped him off at school, waving heartily and embarrassingly shouting “Fighting!” at the top of his lungs as Kai got out of the car. Ah, he was such a dork! But it did feel really good to have someone in his corner, cheering him on. He had never had that in a relationship before. It had always been more about the physical side than anything else. It felt strangely nice to be taken care of like this. It gave him strength, making him feel invincible.

Anyway... he mentally slapped himself to snap out of this daydream he was having. Next time he was going to tell him. For reals. Next time would be the last time.