“Kaya.” Suho began, his voice cracking. “My sweet Kaya, the light of my life. My precious one of a kind diamond.” he beamed. Uuugh, so cheesy. He looked really emotional. Even his eyes looked moist. Kai's heart melted against his will.

“Come on over here, you.” Suho waved him over with a timid smile.

Kai joined him on the middle of the floor. Suho took his hands in his, causing Kai's heart to stop for a moment before it continued its dangerously irregular beating, it was all over the place. He could feel Suho's hands trembling, tiny little pearls of sweat visible on his forehead. Was he really going to...?

“I just have to say how lucky I am to have found you. I have never, ever, in my whole life felt like this before. Every single day since we met has been pure paradise. It's like I'm stuck on a roller coaster, and here I thought I didn't like roller coasters, but with you, everything is interesting and fun. You make everything better. I have learned so much from you and from being with you. You have taught me what happiness really is. And you make me a better man. I am constantly striving to be deserving of you, always falling short. But I want to spend the rest of my life trying. I want us to always be together and continue this roller coaster ride to infinity, and beyond.” Suho delivered his cheesy speech with so much sincerity, Kai couldn't hold back any longer. The tears started running down his cheeks. Ah, it would ruin his makeup.

Next thing he knew, Suho had gotten down on one knee.

Oh no.

Oh no, oh no, oh no! It was really happening. He blinked twice just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He had to hurry up and pull Suho back up again, to stop him before it was too late, but he was frozen in shock.

A small box appeared in the palm of Suho's hand as if by magic, popping open, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. It wasn't the conventional big rock, rather it was a subtle yet beautiful design with five small stones embedded in the silver ring. It sparkled. And they were definitely real diamonds, there was no question.

“Will you do me the tremendous honor of marrying me.” Suho looked into his eyes with big, pleading puppy eyes. Agh, all he wanted to do was say yes. But he couldn't. Not when Suho didn't know who he was really asking to marry him.

“Please.” Suho added in a whisper when Kai didn't respond, nervously giggling.

Kai desperately tried to get his brain to start working again. He needed to buy some time, to figure out what to do.

“Are you proposing just because I said I was saving myself for marriage?” Kai asked him a little too pointedly. At least he was convincing.

“No.” Suho said with conviction, standing up straight and taking both his hands in his again, squeezing them reassuringly. “But.. I would be lying if I said that wasn't a factor.” he added with a genuine smile. Ah, that babo. His honesty melted the rest of his insides. He just wanted to throw himself into his arms, vowing to be his forever. It hurt that he couldn't.

“If I slept with you, would you then still want to get married?” Kai couldn't help but ask. He was curious.

“Yes! I want to spend my every waking hour with you! Every second away from you is a second wasted.” he told him dramatically. Where was he getting these phrases from? How many romantic comedies had he watched in preparation for this moment?

“But if we were sleeping together, you would have waited longer before popping the question, right?” Kai was not letting him off the hook.

“Look, ever since I first met you, I knew I wanted to marry you. If you don't believe me, ask your brother, I've already told him that on several occasions. And yes, maybe this is a bit rushed, and yes, maybe it is partly because I'm having a really hard time not being allowed to show you just how much I love you, but why wait? When you know, you know. Why postpone our wonderful future, when we could just start it right away. It always pains me to drop you off at the end of the night, I want to spend every day and every night with you. I want to wake up to your beautiful face every morning.” Suho told him passionately.

Kai couldn't stand this one moment longer. He had to tell him.

“I'm not an easy person to be around all the time, not to mention live with...” Kai started, but Suho interrupted him.

“Pfft! Who wants easy?! That would just be boring.” Suho chuckled.

“You know, while dating, people try to show only their best sides. What I'm saying is.. I'm not sure you could handle who I really am.” Kai tripped over his words. He swallowed with difficulty, nervously biting his lip. He wasn't sure how Suho would react. If he loved him as much as he said he did, he surely could overlook that one little detail he had been keeping from him.

“Don't be silly. Is that what you are worried about?” Suho shook his head in disbelief. “How cute are you.” he giggled. “When I say I want you, trust me, I want all of you. All the good, and all the bad. Forever.” he assured him. “There's nothing you can say to make me change my mind. I want to marry you. No matter what. Just please say you'll marry me, heh? Please say yes.”.

This was it.

Suho's promise had given him the courage he needed.

He took a deep breath and released one of Suho's hands, raising his trembling hand up to his forehead, removing a couple of hairpins.

“What are you doing?” Suho asked in surprise. To Suho, this must look so random. But he continued, freeing his other hand to remove the hairpins in the back, that held his wig in place.

Now there was only one thing left.

Kai hesitated.

If he did this, there was no turning back.

His heart was thumping so loudly, he could barely hear himself think. It was as if it was trying to escape his chest to stop him from committing perhaps the biggest mistake of his life. But the mistake had already been made. The mistake was to deceive Suho in the first place. He got himself into this mess, he had to be the one to get himself out of it.

Suho loved him, he convinced himself, looking into Suho's beautiful, kind, loving eyes. He loved him, not just Kaya, but him too. He could see it in his eyes.

He clenched his teeth, determined.

He grabbed a lock of his fake hair, and before he could change his mind or chicken out, he pulled, hard.

The wig flew off his head, the tiara falling to the floor.

Suho gasped.

Kai realized he had closed his eyes the moment he pulled the wig off, not daring to open them again. But he had to open them, he had to see Suho's reaction.

He forced the eyelid of his right eye to open just enough so he could see through a crack in it. Suho's face had dropped to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. His skin was whiter than white, as if he had seen a ghost.

“K... Ka... Kai?” he stammered, understanding nothing.

Kai slowly nodded.

“W...why?” Suho asked, not able to form a more complicated sentence. “Where's... where's...”.

Kai took a sharp breath.

“I don't have a twin sister.” he confessed. Every single muscle in his body contracted, waiting for Suho to say something.

“Wha... hh... huh?” Suho wrinkled his eyebrows in a daze. His brain was clearly working in slow motion.

“It was... it was... always you?” he asked, taking a step backwards.

Kai confirmed his fears with a short nod.

As the truth dawned on him, Suho's face contorted in horror.

The box with the ring fell to the floor, the ring popping out of it, lying abandoned on the floor.

Suho turned around, and ran straight out of there without looking back, leaving him all alone. Kai's legs gave in, unable to support him any longer. He fell to the floor. He was waiting for the floodgates to open, but not a single tear appeared. He just sat there, staring into space. He felt numb. Everything felt numb. He couldn't move. He couldn't think.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there on the floor, alone in the candlelight. He was having a hard time processing what had just happened. He eventually reached for his bag, finding his phone. His fingers automatically speed dialed Taemin.

“That was a short surprise, are you already back?” Taemin asked surprised.

Kai tried to say something, but his voice got stuck in his throat.

“Kai? Hello? Kai! Are you okay?!” Taemin sensed that something wasn't right.

“Kai, tell me where you are.” he insisted, worried.

“Mm...” Kai tried to force the words out, but his voice cracked before it could say anything. There was a huge dam waiting to break, but he wasn't ready to feel the wave of hurt that would come with it. He wanted to hold onto the numbness for a while longer.

“Are you still at the same place as earlier? If you are, you don't have to say anything, I'm on my way. Hold on, okay!” Taemin was slightly out of breath, already running out the door.

Kai let the hand that was holding the phone fall to the floor. He didn't have the energy to hold it up any longer. He felt completely drained. It was different from the type of tired after dancing 12-14 hours when he could barely feel his limbs anymore. The tiredness came from within. He just wanted to crawl up into his bed, and hide under the covers, pretending the world didn't exist.

“Kai!!” Taemin came running inside, his face almost as shocked as Suho's had been. Ah, it hurt to bring back the image of Suho's face as he realized that everything they had was based on a lie. The tears knocked so hard it hurt. He didn't want to let them out, because it seemed like they would never stop coming.

Taemin threw himself into his arms, squeezing him tight. He didn't have to ask him what happened, he had already figured it out by the state of him and the fact that his wig lay sprawled out on the floor like someone had killed Cousin Itt from the Addams Family.

He couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears burst out violently, his entire body shaking as he wailed louder than he had ever before.

“I-hh mm-dold'im 'n ee jusss luf''h'ft.” he told Taemin between crying spells, the powerful sobs making his words barely understandable.

Not letting go of him, Taemin fished his phone out of his pocket, calling someone. There was no answer. Kai could feel his heart break, as if it had been physically cut in two, with the accompanying pain nearly making him black out. He couldn't be a hundred percent sure, but he knew Taemin had called Suho. And Suho hadn't picked up.

He had lost him.

The love of his life.

And he was gone.

Forever.