'Please, can you take my calls'

'..or at least answer my messages'

'I can see you're reading them, please.. I have something to tell you'

Kai closed the kakao window, and promised himself to be stronger, to not check his messages. He turned off the notifications for their chat. It was hard, because he missed him something awful. He was all that he thought about. And maybe he overreacted, maybe he didn't give Suho a chance to properly defend himself, but since it had turned out like this, they might as well break up for real. It was better to break up now, than have to face his rejection when he found out he was a guy. A gay guy. There was no way his heart was going to be able to handle that. He wanted to break up on his own terms. Their relationship had come with an expiration date, it had to end sometime. It still hurt, though. More than he had anticipated. It came in waves. Sometimes he was almost fine, and then it hit him, so hard he couldn't breathe.

He dealt with it the only way he knew how. Not at all. He just threw himself into rehearsals, spending every waking second dancing. Dancing was his first and forever love, he didn't need anything else. Well, he needed Taemin, but that was different.

There was one move he had yet to perfect, so he tried it over, and over, and over again. And still it remained out of his grasp. Just like Suho. He tried to convince himself that he only wanted him because he couldn't have him. Suho was straight, there was nothing going to change that. But he really wanted to change that. Why was wanting something not enough? He was prepared to put in the hours, the work, he was prepared to make sacrifices in order to get what he wanted. But there was nothing he could do.

“Kai! There's someone here to see you...” a girl from his year stuck her head through the door.

“Who?” he asked, perplexed. No one ever came to see him at school. He didn't really have that many friends, and Taemin went to school with him, so there wasn't really a need to announce his arrival every time he showed up. That would be funny though.

“Dunno.” the girl shrugged and opened the door. In walked Suho. No way. Kai blinked to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. It wouldn't be the first time.

“Kai... Hey...” Suho said awkwardly, biting his lip. He didn't look good. He looked taken, like he hadn't been sleeping.

“What are you doing here?” Kai used the deeper part of his voice, trying to sound seriously annoyed to mask the emotional turmoil he was going through. It took everything he had not to jump into Suho's arms and tell him everything. It was him! How could he not notice it was him? Frustration gnawed at his cells as he tried to keep his cool.

“Please... can you please talk to Kaya... I need to speak to her.. she won't answer my calls or my texts, or open the door...” Suho pleaded. He sounded so genuinely miserable that it was hard for Kai not to crumble and give in.

“I warned you.” Kai growled.

“I know... I just... it's all a misunderstanding... I just need to talk to her...” Suho said while coming closer. Kai couldn't let him come too close, it was too painful not to be able to touch him.

“What did I say! I warned you what would happen if you hurt her... if you made her cry even one tear... and she's shed a lot more than one!” he stepped menacingly one step towards him, hoping that would scare him away.

“I LOVE YOUR SISTER!” Suho cried out, it was so loud that the words echoed around the room for a few seconds, letting their meaning sink in. Kai was speechless. He had just confessed his love to him, without even knowing it. Well, he had said he was in love with him before, but he had never straight out said 'I love you'. It was thrilling and heartbreaking at the same time. But the fact that he couldn't even recognize him... if he truly loved him, unconditionally, he would be able to realize that the person he loved was standing right in front of him, wouldn't he?

A few people stuck their noses in the doorway, checking out what all the commotion was about. He needed to get him out of here.

“Give me a chance to tell her that... please.. and apologize. I'm not as old-fashioned as she thinks. Give me a chance to prove that.” Suho desperately pleaded. “I promise my intentions are good, I'll swear on anything you'd like, I'll jump through any hoops you place in front of me. Later on I plan to marry her, and I want your blessing. No, I need your blessing. I want the whole package. The house, the dog, the kids, the picket fence. She's the one!”.

Kai was dumbstruck. That was a lot to process. His heart was pounding on his rib cage, trying to escape into Suho's arms. It wanted all of the above. If only he could give Suho everything he wanted. He loved the dog part, but kids.. he couldn't have kids. It was not that he didn't want to, he would father a whole soccer team for Suho if he only could, but he was biologically incapable. He could feel the tears lining up. He couldn't let Suho see him crying. Officially, Kai had no reason to cry. He was supposed to be the manly, overprotective older brother. But he and Kaya shared the same heart, the same blue, broken heart that ached every second of every day it spent away from Suho.

He ran away as a single tear broke free, leaping down his cheek.

“Kai, I didn't know you had a sister!” a guy from his class noted as he rushed past.

“At this rate, you're going to kill yourself. Have a little break.” Taemin took out a couple of sandwiches and drinks. He looked really concerned. Kai knew he had been overdoing it, he knew practicing too much ran the risk of injuries, but it was his only way of coping. If you could call this coping.

Taemin stared him down until he took a bite of the sandwich. He wasn't hungry. He hadn't been eating. He had lost a dangerous amount of weight in the last few days.

“You know... Suho came to see me.” Taemin started, trying to ease into the conversation, while knowing that the mere mention of Suho's name would upset him.

“I'm not doing this if you're going to talk about him.” he crossed his arms, angry pouting.

“You have to give him some kind of explanation. You at least owe him that.” Taemin gave him a 'you know I'm right' look. Kai disliked that look, because Taemin was almost always right when he used it, making it hard to fight it.

“Since when are you on Suho's side.” he spat at him, unfairly taking his frustration out on Taemin.

“You know he won't quit until you talk to him. You have to tell him...” Taemin said in his softest of voices, putting his arm around him.

“I can't.” his voice broke as the tears started streaming.

“You never know, maybe he'll be open to the idea. He seems to really love you. A lot of people would've just taken the hint by now and given up, but he's relentless. He clearly doesn't want to loose you, so he might not even care about a tiny little detail like you having an extra appendage.” Taemin chuckled feebly. Kai knew he was right. Everything he was saying was right. It wasn't fair to Suho to one-sidedly decide he wouldn't be okay with it, without even giving him the chance to decide for himself. To leave it like this was disrespectful to the precious time they had spent together. They had had something, something real. It deserved a proper ending.

“Will you come with me?” Kai looked at Taemin with pleading puppy eyes.

“Actually, Suho requested that we'd both be there. He said he had a surprise for us.” Taemin grinned. “If he's giving us each a sports car, I'm not going to say no.” he chuckled, excited.

Kai tried to hold on to his grudge against Suho, reminding himself over and over that this thing between them would never work, Suho was straight and kind of homophobic, this needed to end now. But the moment he saw Suho stand up from his seat at the restaurant, greeting them like a perfect gentleman, so ridiculously handsome in his fancy suit that it was annoying, all his antagonistic feelings towards him started fading away.

“I've got a surprise!” Suho grinned sheepishly, fully aware that he was still in the doghouse.

“It better be good.” Kai sat down before Suho had even pulled the seat fully out, crossing his arms and putting up a huffy pout.

Suho waited until Taemin was seated as well, looking really excited. It was frustratingly cute. Kai couldn't imagine what he had planned. He just hoped it wasn't awful.

They were in a small, private room of the restaurant, which no doubt had 5 stars. It was going to take more than an expensive meal for him to forgive him.

“So ehm... hang on... “ Suho hesitated and then awkwardly left the room.

A short while later a really pretty guy walked in. He had never seen him before. He looked like the boy next door, sweet but manly. He was wearing a fancy, shiny suit, but he didn't really look like he belonged in it. He looked more like a laid back T-shirt kind of guy. He wasn't one of those super fit, ripped guys who looked like they just got back from the gym no matter what time it was, he was more soft, but it was working for him. Kai got a faint pang of guilt checking this guy out when Suho could come in at any moment. Maybe this guy really was the boy next door, that is, the next room of the restaurant and had just gotten confused, entering theirs by mistake. Kai was going to say something when Suho appeared in the door.

“Ta-da!” he chuckled incredibly awkwardly.

Kai didn't get it. That guy was the surprise?

“You... eh... you got me a guy?” Kai scrunched his nose, not knowing what to say. Was he trying to prove that he wasn't homophobic by suggesting a ? It wasn't that the guy wasn't super attractive, he really was, but he wasn't really into the whole thing, he didn't want to share Suho. He wanted him to be his, and his alone. Or was this his way of breaking up with him, by suggesting a new guy to date?

“I mean... he's really pretty and all that, but... “ Kai raised his eyebrows, teasingly looking at the guy like he liked what he saw.

“No!! No no no no!! You're taken!! You have a boyfriend, remember? Me!!” Suho had a momentary brain hemorrhage, stepping in front of the guy, waving his hands. Ah, what a dork. No matter how hard he tried, nothing he did was remotely cool. But he was his dork. His gorgeous idiot. He sighed at how stupidly cute he was.

“However.... I heard that Taemin was not... taken...” Suho put up an especially awkward smile, even for him.

“Taemin-sshi...meet my friend from work... Jinki.” he forced his weird, awkward smile to go even wider.

Kai cringed. He and Taemin exchanged looks. So this was a set up. A painfully unsmooth one. And this Jinki was way too fancy for Taemin's taste. Taemin liked them more laid back and kind of quirky.

“Hehh... hi...” Jinki nodded slightly, clearly uncomfortable. No one could blame him, the atmosphere Suho had created physically hurt, it was so awfully awkward. Then he reached for the chair, somehow miscalculating the distance and by his own hands clumsily tripping over the chair. Taemin giggled. Okay, maybe he was more Taemin's type than he had originally thought.

“I just came because Suho promised me chicken. I'm mad about chicken.” Jinki chuckled, his eyes disappearing into the most radiant eyesmile he had ever seen, his lips forming a big, bright heart. Taemin unsuccessfully suppressed a wince.

“I can be chicken.” Taemin said, giving Jinki a flirty wink. Jinki snorted, laughing it off like it was just a joke among friends, but Kai caught him checking Taemin out when he though nobody was paying attention.

“So you think I'm pretty...huh?” Jinki pointedly glanced over to Kai. Suho, who had sat down next to him, elbowed him hard in the side. Suho looked nervously at Kai, to monitor his reactions. Their eyes met. This was the first time they had had an intimate moment since Suho professed his love to him with such determination. He got goose bumps every time he thought about it. But Suho didn't have a clue that he had all but proposed to him, having no idea that he was getting a two for one deal, Kai and Kaya all at once.

“So uhm.. yeah... I thought we'd have a double date.” Suho said formally, like he was presiding over a formal office dinner, stating the obvious. As if anyone wasn't painfully aware of it. Kai guessed he had set this up to show that he was okay with the gay thing, but it kind of just emphasized how uncomfortable he was with it.

“Let's dig in!” he cheerfully suggested, the table swaying under the amount of food.

Jinki started building a chicken mountain on his plate, and then he and Taemin both reached for an egg, accidentally touching. Jinki jerked his hand away as if he had touched fire. Taemin turned all shy and weird, his cheeks turning rosy pink.

“Can I have the yolk?” Taemin asked Jinki, who had gone back for the egg.

“Oh, you can have the egg if you want it...” Jinki offered.

“No, I just want the yolk.” Taemin insisted. Kai was not surprised. The yolk was like the essence of the egg, if you took it away it was barely an egg anymore, yet Taemin was always trying to steal people's yolks instead of just getting his own egg. It could drive Kai crazy.

“Okay.” Jinki shrugged and fished the yolk out of the egg and gave it to him without complaining or asking why. Taemin beamed so hard, there was actual light coming from his eyes.

Maybe those two weren't such a bad match. Suho had actually done well. He probably just accidentally found the right guy in his misguided attempt at proving he wasn't homophobic, but the results were the same. Suho had made Taemin happy, which made him happy. He secretly stole a glance at Suho, who was knee deep in chicken, not paying any attention, his lips protruding in concentration. Agh, so stupidly cute.

“Jinki, you're heading the same way as Taemin, right? You don't mind dropping him off?” Suho said. He said it in a form of a question, but it sounded like an order. He was taking his job as a matchmaker a little too seriously.

“Kaya, you come with me.” he sent him a shy smile.

As Taemin disappeared into Jinki's car, he sent Kai an excited wink and then nodded towards Suho, indicating he should make up with him already.

After a quiet but intense car ride, Suho pulled over in front of his apartment building.

“So ehm...” Suho started, but he looked like he was having a hard time putting his thoughts into words. It seemed like it was going to take an annoyingly long time. Kai sighed and undid his safety belt. Suho looked at him with disappointed eyes, he thought he was leaving, when he was doing the exact opposite. He leaned towards Suho and gave him a soft, little kiss.

At first Suho was stiff as a board, not comprehending what had just happened, but it didn't take him long to catch on. He slid his hand around the back of Kai's neck, drawing him in, entangling their lips in a passionate kiss.

Kai started to feel dizzy. Their tongues playfully danced with each other, curiously exploring every square inch of each other. Suho's breathing turned heavy. He drew him in closer, his back. There was yearning in his touch. He could feel Suho was having a hard time holding back. He was too. He knew he should stop before things got any more heated, but he didn't. Instead his hand found the inside of Suho's shirt. His skin felt like heaven. It was soft and warm, his fingers tracing the outlines of his exceptionally well defined muscles. Kai was so he couldn't think straight. But he was supposed to be straight. He felt Suho's hand follow suit, slowly ping his dress. .

“Uh! I have to go.” Kai panted, jumping out of the car before Suho could say anything. “But you should definitely call me.” he giggled and ran away.

That was close.

Kai's phone rang when he entered the elevator.

“Is now too soon?” Suho chuckled dorkily.