Sometime around 2016

 

Loud music is blasting from the giant speakers mounted in every corner of the club.

 

The incredible colorful lights illuminate everywhere.

 

Dim lights.

 

Laser in a mixture of colors.

 

The dance floor is full of people dancing, bouncing, and flirting.

 

It is a killer night.

 

Yet, Hirai Momo is in one corner drowning herself in alcohol.

 

Taking one shot after another.

 

She hears nothing.

 

Sees nothing.

 

Cares about nothing.

 

She is just there but not really.

 

For all she knows, the moment that the door shut her life ended.

 

She felt that her whole body is hanging with a rope around her neck, the difference is that she is not dying.

 

She could not die.

 

No matter how she tried.

 

She just could not.

 

As if she is meant to suffer like that.

 

Momo’s shoulders start moving up and down.

 

She sobs her lungs out.

 

Tears aren’t stopping.

 

She had been inside this club for two straight nights.

 

Drowning herself in alcohol.

 

Trying to forget.

 

But soon as the effect of the alcohol fades, the pain just creeps inside her body like it is meant to be there.

 

It burns.

 

It stings.

 

And she does not know how to make it stop.

 

People start to notice Momo.

 

She is reek in alcohol.

 

And drifted in her own torment.

 

People tried to reach out but Momo would just end up pushing them away.

 

Figuratively and literally.

 

A bouncer approaches Momo.

 

“Miss ~ are you okay?” He speaks to her gently.

 

Momo looks up.

 

A certain rage covers her eyes.

 

Then she smirks.

 

Like a maniac, Momo punches him straight to his nose.

 

“What the!” He touches his broken nose.

 

He has a lot of patience, he does.

 

But the people around Momo who are also drunk did not have that.

 

A drunken person pushes Momo.

 

“What is your problem?” He cornered Momo.

 

She punches the stranger once again.

 

A smile is creeping on her face.

 

She punches again like a serial killer would enjoy looking at their preys.

 

And chaos happened.

 

Momo is pinned on the ground with her phone stepped on.

 

He keeps on beating her up.

 

Blood appears.

 

Her face is moving from left to right from the strong jabs of the guy.

 

Momo lay her hands on the floor.

 

She lets him hit her.

 

If anything, she is begging for more.

 

More.

 

More.

 

MORE!

 

She is hoping that these hits could overpower the dreadful torment inside her.

 

She wishes that she would finally die at that time.

 

Death is the only wish she has.

 

Maybe when she dies Sana would.

 

Sana would forgive her.

 

Sana would be happier.

 

Momo is smiling yet tears are falling.

 

The guy stops suddenly.

 

He sees the sadness in her eyes.

 

In Momo’s eyes.

 

People pull him away from Momo.

 

“Why are you stopping!?” Momo struggles to challenge the guy.

 

“Hit me more, kill me!” Momo cries.

 

“My life is over as it is, you are just giving me a favor, kill me,” She begs. “Kill me, please…” She sobs harder.

 

“Or it’s just going to be hell again tomorrow, so please end it,” Momo cries hysterically.

 

Many people would beg for their lives not beg to end their lives.

 

Everyone looks at her with pity.

 

They see a girl who lost everything.

 

Momo glares to everyone.

 

She struggles to stand up.

 

Some people wanted to help but Momo raises her hand to stop them.

 

She takes a deep breath, trying to contain her tears.

 

She wipes the blood away, yet it is still all over her face.

 

She limps her way out of the club.

 

She walks and walks.

 

Until she is by a pay phone.

 

She dials Sana’s number but soon as she realizes that they broke up. She hangs up before it even rings.

 

She hits her head on the phone.

 

And the uninvited tears appear again.

 

Momo can’t describe how painful it is.

 

It feels like she is being tortured.

 

Someone keeps banging her head on a metallic table or whipping her back with a belt.

 

Or, it could be worse than that.

 

Nausea hits Momo.

 

Everything is swirling around.

 

She feels like she is inside a cylinder that everything is spinning.

 

Until…

 

Her body fell on the ground with blood dripping from her open cuts.

 

Momo laughs so hard.

 

Yet, tears are falling from her eyes.

 

This is it.

 

Finally.

 

 

 

Momo opens her eyes.

 

She feels someone holding on her waist.

 

“, Momo, are you trying to die?” It is Chungha. She received a call from the manager of the club Momo went to.

 

She is close to them.

 

Because she used to work in the said club as a DJ.

 

The manager called earlier telling that Momo was having the time of her life. She knew about Sana leaving so Chungha blames her for it.

 

That is why when Sana called.

 

She hated her without even knowing what happened.

 

Chungha cares for Momo.

 

She does.

 

That is why when she found Momo lying on the ground.

 

Waiting for her death.

 

She hated Sana even more.

 

She hated her for hurting her friend.

 

She struggled to bring Momo inside their apartment she did not even close the door properly.

 

Momo struggles to open her eyes.

 

It is all blurry.

 

But one image keeps appearing in before your eyes.

 

“Sa – chan,” Momo is struggling to reach out for Chungha.

 

The person who she thought is Sana.

 

“Momo you’re too drunk, it’s me Chungha,” Chungha tries to explain.

 

But Momo seems to not listen to her.

 

“Sa – chan, I’m so sorry... I really am… please, please don’t leave me,” Momo sobs.

 

Chungha lets her cry.

 

Momo keeps on begging for her to stay.

 

Asking for her forgiveness.

 

Begging for her to stay.

 

Chungha feels heartbroken for her friend.

 

She looks on the ground to avoid witnessing this pitiful situation.

 

“Sana, please…. I really don’t know what I will do without you, I really died, people in the bar…” She sobs.

 

“I let them hit me, I hope they’d kill me in no time, so, please… I promise to be better, I promise to understand you more, I promise…” She is catching her breath, “I love you, I love you so much even though I am dying in the inside…. I just do,” She continues breaking.

 

She breaks in the most fragile way.

 

Chungha looks at Momo with pity.

 

She wipes Momo’s tears away.

 

“Dude, it’s me Chung – “

 

Before Chungha can even complete her sentence a pair of cold choppy lips landed on hers.

 

Chungha closes her eyes.

 

She did not intend to kiss back.

 

But the way Momo begged.

 

The way Momo wanted this as she thought it was Sana.

 

Chungha helped her friend.

 

She kisses back.

 

It was a deep peck.

 

That was it.

 

Until they heard a loud thud of the door.

 

Chungha panics and pushes Momo away.

 

She did.

 

And Momo laid on her back unconscious.

 

Chungha clenches her jaw.

 

She has an idea who could it be.

 

She hits her head.

 

“Stupid!”

 

She curses herself.

 

The following morning.

 

Momo opens her eyes.

 

Her whole body is aching.

 

Her whole face is aching.

 

She stands across a mirror.

 

She is far from sober.

 

She is far from being sane.

 

She looks like a mess.

 

She tries to recall images from last night, but she barely remembers anything. The more she tried to recall the more her tears fall without a warning.

 

She wonders when will it stop?

 

Will it ever stop?

 

Will her tears turn into the blood when she has no more tears to cry?

 

Will it?

 

“…. Sana I miss you, I miss you so much,” Momo confesses watching herself in despair.

 

Alcohol had become her new best friend. Better yet, her new water.

 

She just - - couldn’t stop.

 

Couldn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

Sometime around 2018

 

“Did I do something wrong?”

 

Momo needs to ask it or else she’d die not knowing why Sana had been ignoring her since last night.

 

If Momo does not know better there are only two reasons why Sana is acting so snobbish.

 

One is that Momo did something really bad to Sana. She acts like this whenever they have a fight back in the days.

 

Those petty fights that Sana could have initiated but Momo will always be the first one who will apologize. That role is definite in their relationships Sana is never wrong, at least that is what Momo needs to adhere upon.

 

Sana should not be wrong if Momo does not want to sleep on the floor.

 

Then the other possible reason is that Sana is mad at her because….

 

“…. Are you jealous of something?”

 

Another question that had been itching to come out from Momo.

 

And she did.

 

There it is the infamous defensive look of Minatozaki Sana.

 

Sana opens in disbelief.

 

If Momo is predicting everything perfectly, Sana should be reacting the way she expects it.

 

She’ll look at Momo with a brow raise and a twitch of .

 

Then she’ll look at the ground.

 

And…

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

Sana asks in the most annoyed tone that Momo lives for.

 

Yes, all Momo’s predictions were all right.

 

Sana did it, and Momo hit the right spot.

 

Momo bites her inner cheeks.

 

She is sure that she is not supposed to be happy with Sana snubbing her.

 

She is not. She is happy because Sana is jealous.

 

Sana looks at Momo questioningly.

 

“What are you smiling about?”

 

Sana asks authoritatively.

 

“I am not smiling,” Momo answers SMILING.

 

Sana glares at her.

 

“OUCH!” Momo yelps in pain because Sana pulls her necktie too tight.

 

That is another reaction that Momo expects from Sana. Her sadistic nature.