Taking a look at his own pictures makes him happy and proud.

It came out naturally and now he is just taking a break for a week.

Wearing something simple.. A black Tee and a hat to somehow hide his identity.

He don't want any distraction between him and his lovely break.

He's now having a walk on this isolated walking bridge across the wide deep looking river.

There's not much people in it.

The bridge somehow looks abandoned. Looks like a lot of people has been coming there before but infrastructures was done and it was left out.

Because of the rusts on it's railings.

He stopped for a moment.

What a nice place to have an escape.

Escape. Escape from the world.

He was just breathing in the fresh air that is attacking his face.

But his attention was caught towards a girl.

Standing steadily, looking so far away.
Has a hair colored in purple or is it an  ash violet.. He don't know. What matters is how smooth it looks and how it matches her white skin.

Maybe she has also a lot of things in mind. This is not a bad place after all..

Wind blowing causing her hair to wave. It look so smooth.

Catching her side view which is a pale white skin whith a visible thin lips.

"Beautiful."

Joshua thought. Not sure if he said it aloud but who cares anyway, there's only two of them on that place.. Though the're meters away from each other.

He was about to leave his sight from the girl but abruptly look at her location again..

Because of the movement that caught his attention.

Is she out of her mind?

.

She's not trying to jump is she?

He thought while run-walking to her because he saw her climbing up to the railings.

She closed her eyes..

Spread her arms and let her weight gave in..

He can see her tilting her body accepting the fact that she's really falling.







 

"HEY!!!"

 

He don't know how it happend.

He don't know how he managed to grab her by the waist before anything else happen.

But he caught her..
That's what matters now.

Seconds passed.

Pulled her down and catch her from being pulled from the railing and from her dying moment.

Silence. Awkward silence.

He took a look at the girl.

Tears are tracking down it's pale pinkish cheeks but that's not what surprised him.

His eyes widened the moment he realized who is that person who fell in his arms instead on the water.
 

Wait.  I know HIM.

He's the model.

----------

















 

A private burial.

That's what he gave his mom.

And as expected only family and friends were only there.

Two months passed already but still.. He can't grasp what is happening to his life.

His father-- who eventually wasn't the real one.. Didn't even spare a time to take a visit or even a simple 'Condolence' wasn't heard.

His Ex-boyfriend didn't even show some symphaty. Didn't even care.
He only have Vernon and Seungkwan on the time of his grieving.

Jun and Minghao are not able to come back for the burial because of some complications they need to take care.

His manager Hyerim is there too.

His Agency did send it's condolence with a flower.

All he could do is to cry..
Vernon, Seungkwan and his manager are there to witness his suffering.

Pain eating him as loneliness takes over his once bright world.
He don't quite know what to do.

He mostly spend his day inside his room and won't go out as much as possible.

But Seungkwan is always there to force him to eat.





 

One day he decided to get out and have a random thoughts of escaping.

Escaping from everything that hurt him. Everything that gives him pain and loneliness.. From Everything.


 

Reminiscing the day she passed away.

His mom insist him to have a rest because of a week him being restless.

"I love you Jeonghan-ah.."

"I love you more Eomma."

He said and kissed her forehead before going out of his mom's ward.

But little did he know..

That was the last time the he will see her with that smile plastered on her face And those were the last words will hear from her.












 

Present time.

Taking a break from anything..

He was walking without knowing where to go.

Wearing a simple T shirt paired up with a skinny black trouser.

People he pass by look at him in awe.

Not to mention that his hair is ash violet in color.

It was dyed because of the last photoshoot he attended for some kind of clothing line.

He continued walking dismissing the admiring looks of the people.
 

Unsure if what he saw was a bridge but he walks towards that place.

The place was nice.

The water was less calm.

He stayed there not paying attention either he's alone or not.

What have I done for this to happened to me? If only all of these was a nightmare then I would gladly wake up and everything will be what it used to be.

But it's not.

The reality that Im all alone is inevitable. The reality that I was left out.. That I have no one...

Yes, Seungkwan and Vernon is there.
But I know they'll get tired of me someday.

Jun and Minghao aren't here.

Hyerim Noona is getting problematic because of me..

And Seungcheol..

Seungcheol..







 

Then tears floods his eyes.. Again.

He's somehow feeling suffocated and helpless.

The fact that he's in pain, hurt, alone and lonely brought more tears..

Brought additional pain.

Brought back those bad memories.

I think now is the perfect time to escape.

He smiled bitterly.

..Never thought I'll end up this way.

What a perfect day to run..

What a perfect weather for my mourning heart to rest endlessly.

He hold the railings before climbing up using his foot.

Standing steadily.. Balancing his body with the narrow railing.. he cried more.

He let out sobs.. But the painful smile is still plastered on his face.

I know this is not the right thing to do.. But I can't.. I just can't take the pain anymore..

Looking down the heavy running river.. Send him chills.

I will surely die if I jump there and bam! Im free. that freedom. I want it now.. I need it now.

He closed his eyes. Spread his arms and smiled bitterly.

There he could slowly feel his body changing it's latitude position..

Slowly..

A little more..
 

"HEY!!!"

 

And he jolted as he felt two firm arms grab his waist and he fell right on a body and they both landed on the ground.






 

They were both panthing and all he can hear is his heart beating.

He don't know.. But he cried more.

He felt his knees weakened.

He sobbed more and he felt his body trembled.

He didn't stop sobbing for a reason he don't know.

Maybe he was upset.

He's mad and sad at the same time.

Mad at himself for not jumping immediately and sad because he is still feeling the pain.

He felt someone rub his back and caressed it.

He look at the intruder.

How.. Why..

He asked his self.

How a Joshua Hong was there, How he caught him..

And lastly Why?

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! "

Jeonghan jolted when Joshua shouted.

"You could have fall--

"That's my purpose fool."

Jaw dropped.

Joshua coudn't find the words to say.

He want to nag Jeonghan about how he acted.

"You're unbelievable.. You know what? You're desperate. You want to die? Then find another place. Not where someone can see you.."

He said. He's curioused why Jeonghan did that.. And by the way he cried and how helpless he looked.

He know something negative is happening to the poor gir--guy.

"I went here without seeing you. So I thought I was alone.. And I was supposed to have my dying moment but you butted in."

Jeonghan said. In a husky almost soundless voice because of his nonstop crying.

"I don't mind you not saying thanks co'z I know you won't. But why are you trying to kill yourself?"

He asked. Somehow he felt sad for Jeonghan.

But the latter stood up and face him.

"None of your damn business."

He said before walking away.

Leaving Joshua in confused state.

 

Is it a bad thing that I save him from dying?