That nightmare, it came again.
It happened two days ago, it happened again last night.

"I'm nervous! Unnie, you didn't tell us that sajang-nim is going to be there today!" Rose said as a sudden wave of panic surged in.

"You guys will do well, trust me," manager-unnie reassured her. Sang-won and Blackpink members were on the way to YG building.

"I hope sajang-nim is in a good mood," Jennie said as she munched her food. Lisa nodded as she put her hands together into a praying pose.

"I pray he won't come at my pronunciation. Although I'm sure he will," Lisa continued.

Yes, of course, that shadow came again. He's been with me ever since trainee days. I wonder why he's always there.

"Rosie, I just watched your V-Live with Jisoo-unnie, the re-upload. I was all alone in my room that day! Why didn't you call me to come too?" Lisa asked, opening wide, followed by a cute "Aaaa", asking Jennie for a piece of her food.

"You were sleeping!" Rose replied.

I had a short phone call with Jinyoung..ah, he kept getting distracted last night. I wonder if something was bothering him—Last night, what did I think about before going to sleep, that eventually triggered my nightmare? 

"Oh, but on that day, I had a girls talk with Jisoo-unnie! You won't be able to guess what happened to her at Inkigayo! I was squealing non-stop!!"

"Wae, wae, wae?" Jennie and Lisa responded in a flash. "How come you guys didn't tell us?"

"Mianhae, we were busy practicing yesterday. I forgot to tell you!"

"Okay, whatever, tell us fast, fast!" Lisa started bickering with Rose. The latter scoffed.

"Alright, alright. So here goes.....Jisoo-unnie has a love rival!!!"

And then I played with Dalgom, fell asleep in the middle of it, and the next thing I knew I jolted awake because of that nightmare. Ah, but I remember there was a glimpse of Jinyoung in my dream. Then why did it turn into a nightmare?

"A love rival?" Sang-won got curious and asked. It really turned into a gossip among them.

"Yes!" Rose exclaimed, clapping her hands in exaggerated excitement.

"What do you mean, Rosie? You're being so annoying right now," Lisa whined in English. Jennie nodded, still munching her food. 

Last night, it didn't chase me or anything. The shadow just appeared. Still, it was so scary..

"Ask unnie yourself! It's not fun if I'm the one telling you, right?"

"Jisoo-unnie, what is it? What love rival?" Jennie asked.

I wonder why. Is it a ghost that's been following me? Because honestly, I'm tired. It's tiring to be awakened in the middle of the night. I have so many things to do, I have schedules and practices.

"Unnie!"

"She doesn't hear you," Lisa told Jennie, now fixing her focus on her unnie.

"Unnie is deep in her thoughts."

Eomma, what should I do? 

"Unnie!" Rose shouted.

I miss home..

Jisoo-Unnie! "unnie!"

"JISOO!!!"

Jisoo gasped, snapping out of her deep thoughts when Sang-won called her name loudly. She turned around only to find the members had stopped whatever they were doing and looked at her. Jennie and Lisa furrowed their brows deep, while Rose gaped like her goldfish.

"Unnie, are you okay?" Jennie asked in worry. Jisoo took a few seconds before she put her mask again—the cheerful mask.

"Aish, I'm okay, kids. We drove past a nice-looking restaurant and just now I was imagining us having an afternoon tea, taking photos and such," she said, smiling. She saw as the girls sighed in relief.

"Unnie, you scared us!" Lisa whined, followed by affirmative nods from Rose and Jennie.

"I thought you guys are well aware of my antics?" Jisoo said as she threw a fake sharp glare at them. The girls giggled.

"Okay, now tell us the tea. What about your love rival?" Lisa asked.

"What? What love rival? Who told you that?"

"Chaeyoung told us!" Jennie replied, getting more and more impatient. She had finished her food by now and paid full attention to Jisoo.

"Yah, Chaeyoung-ah, don't spread rumor!"

"What? It was real! The thing about you and YooA!"

"YooA? Oh My Girl's YooA?" Lisa put a hand over . "I remember! I did hear that she admired Jinyoung-oppa!"

"MWO?" Jisoo snapped, completely turned her body around to throw a sharp glare at Lisa. "Tell me more!" Was it real? Did she really gain a love rival? As cringey as it sounds..

Lisa told Jisoo (and the girls) that it had been a public secret that YooA had a crush on Jinyoung during the practice period for SBS Gayo Daejun. She constantly glanced at him and paid close attention to his movements. When she tried to chat with Jinyoung, her voice turned soft and she'd smile shyly. The boys might not notice it but the girls knew and it had become a gossip since then. The entire time she listened, Jisoo felt her ears getting hot. No wonder Jinyoung knew so much about her!

When it was her turn to tell the story of the incident, the girls squealed so hard. It was just like a K-Drama!

"Unnie, be careful!"

Lisa made an imaginary square with her hands. "It's like watching a TV. YooA's got the second-lead syndrome. Or is it going to be you?"

"Stop it," Jisoo told them, but she herself couldn't suppress a smile. The conversation ended when Rose brought up the topic about their upcoming comeback.

And it was weird that when Rose began talking about the comeback, Jisoo was instantly reminded of her nightmare. She had to admit, it bothered her and it caused unnecessary anxiety.

Jisoo turned around, looking straight at the road in front of her—she was sitting on the passenger seat—and thinking if she should ask Lisa about the supposed "ghost" in the dorm. It might have something to do with her nightmare, although she doubted it.

"Lisa-ya, have you seen any weird things in the dorm?"

Lisa hummed as she tried to recall. "You mean the ghost?"

"There is a ghost in our dorm?" Rose butted in.

"Well, I don't know. Last time, I thought that "thing" was you," Lisa told Rose, and as soon as the latter heard, she made a face.

"OMG, creepy..."

Jisoo mentally rolled her eyes as the maknae line started bickering again. "So, did you see it lately?"

"No...I don't have any sleep paralysis, either."

This time Sang-won joined the conversation. "Why? You saw one?"

"No, no, no. I'm just curious," Jisoo quickly replied.

"Why are you curious, then? You're not just acting like a paranormal, aren't you?"

"I'm just...I don't know. I don't even know why I asked."

of course, , Of courseunnie will be suspicious, Jisoo thought. It didn't take long before they arrived in YG building. The backseat girls quickly got off the car except for Sang-won who told Jisoo to stay in the car for a while.

"What happened? If there really is a ghost in the dorm, I'll have to call an exorcist."

Jisoo gasped in horror. "I don't think you'll go that far."

"Anything concerning Blackpink will be my responsibility, to be exact, if something happens to you girls, I will be taken responsibly. Now, tell me honestly," Sang-won said and she was completely serious. Her tone was flat and firm, and Jisoo had no choice but to conform to it.

She took a deep breath to prepare herself. "Unnie, do you remember the nightmare that I used to have back when I was a trainee? The chasing dream. The shadow. It came again lately, I don't know why."

Sang-won stared at her but then she shook her head. "Are you sure you don't know why? Or you just don't want to acknowledge it?"

"What do you mean?"

"The last time you told me and the others about that dream, it was during the preparation of Playing With Fire. And the girls told me that you've always had nightmare days before the monthly evaluation."

"No, unnie. The days before that I saw a ghost in the practice room. That was why." Jisoo had her brows furrowed by now. Her heart beat faster and her palms began to sweat. She was just trying to state a fact but she sounded too defensive. She felt as if she was being accused.

Sang-won didn't reply for a long time. She then opened the car's door and signaled Jisoo to go out. However, before she closed the car's door, she mumbled something. Unfortunately, Jisoo was still able to hear it.

"I see. I guess all this time I was wrong."

~

As If It's Your Last written on the paper.

Magical, that's how they described their situation. It was such a rare thing to see Blackpink members in the YG studio room. When you're lucky you'd see them in the dance practice room where they practice some random choreos, but, most of the time, unfortunately, they could only be found in their dorm, doing absolutely nothing. Today, though, they were set to prepare a new era. That's why it was magical.

ing finally.

They were scheduled to record a demo for sajang-nim because it was only after the production team received comments and suggestions from the man that they could proceed. For some reasons, YG really paid attention to every little detail of Blackpink's releases—he decided who would sing which part, or even who should get the center position in the dance. He'd really come and evaluate them on the spot.

And it was always nerve-wracking.

Jisoo felt her hands sweating. The atmosphere inside the studio felt suffocating with YG sajang-nim in the room, compared to the usual fun and playful recording with Teddy. Well, YG sajang-nim is a kind man, but he'll be strict when it comes to result, there shouldn't be any mistake. It didn't help that during trainee days he had always kept his eyes on her, not because she was outstanding, but because he thought she was lacking. She knew. The other three were always better at everything.

"So for now, this is how it'll go," Teddy told the girls. YG sajang-nim was sitting beside him on a small swivel chair, ready to give comments.

"If you notice, this song is made to match the summer vibe since it's going to be released in June. But different from Boombayah, Whistle, and Playing With Fire, this piece is cuter and girly, no girl crush image. Just imagine yourself in front of the person you have a crush on," Teddy continued as he winked at the girls. Blackpink members laughed nervously, but the other three didn't miss the chance to steal a quick, meaningful glance at Jisoo, the only member who was currently falling in love with someone.

"Alright, you girls ready? Let's start with Jennie. Take it easy, this song has no difficult rap. In fact, you'd be singing more than rapping here."

The distribution of lines was fair. Jennie and Jisoo shared the first verse, followed by Rose singing the pre-chorus. The chorus is really catchy, Jennie sang a part with her signature low voice and Rose continued to build the flow with a little bit of high note at the end. Lisa got a full verse for herself and took the whole hook parts.

Teddy gave the second pre-chorus to Jennie and the second chorus to Rose and Jisoo. The bridge was given to Jennie and finished flawlessly by Rose. The song ended with another chorus and Lisa's hook. It was fairly a simple song—like he said, Teddy wanted to match with the summer vibe, he didn't want to make it too complicated like Whistle.

It took a bit of time to roughly combine the voices, just to let YG know the big picture. He listened to it for a while before he commented.

"The second transitional bridge and chorus," he started. Jennie, Rose, and Jisoo looked up in unison. "I like the transitional bridge but the combination of Rose and Jisoo for the ref, a little too bland, no excitement, no contrast. Swap Jennie's and Jisoo's part. It'll sound better," sajang-nim said.

"I see. Though I still want to put more variations, since it's such a simple song...how about we fix the bridge, too? Jisoo and Rose can take it, their voices blend well," Teddy spoke up. Jisoo thankfully smiled at Teddy.

However, YG shook his head vigorously. "No, no. The bridge is perfect with Jennie and Rose's voice. Everything else besides the second part is perfect."

"Won't it sound too repetitive? The bridge is right after the second chorus. I think Jisoo's or Lisa's voice can be added, to make it sound more exciting," Teddy fended off his opinion. Jisoo watched him argue with their boss, and although Teddy clearly stated his reasons, Jisoo felt like he was fighting for her fair share of lines.

"You should trust me, Teddy. The song is perfect for Rose and Jennie's voice." Checkmate.

This time, Teddy didn't even say anything. He turned back to the monitor and asked the girls to revise the second pre-chorus and chorus.

The girls obeyed in silence.

~

Sang-won waited inside the recording studio all along, watching as a good day turned into a bad one. Teddy had been doing the best he could—although surely he wasn't feeling excited either, not when sajang-nim was beside him all day, complaining about every petty thing. Boss had done nothing but giving his best producer more pressure than he'd already had.

After Playing With Fire and Stay, Blackpink went on hiatus for far too long. Once her boss realized that the hiatus might affect Blackpink's popularity, he began to pester Teddy to write a song for them. Months passed but nothing had satisfied Yang Hyun-suk so Teddy decided to use his last resort—recycled songs. He suggested using songs that he composed for 2NE1 back then but got rejected, and rearranged into fresher music. As If It's Your Last was born and thank God that YG was finally satisfied.

Now that they'd found the song, it was time to prep the girls.

Which meant more headaches. Like today.

The girls re-did the pre-chorus and the second chorus once again according to YG's suggestion. Both Jennie and Jisoo—whose lines were swapped—only got an hour between breaks to rehearse and after that, they started the recording again. And of course, it was a mess. It wasn't only because the girls weren't ready, but they were also nervous. In fact, everyone was frustrated.

It got worse after they wrapped up the demo recording. The girls were sitting together, facing the boss who had his arms crossed, sitting on his swivel chair. He had an ugly scowl on his face while his eyes scanned every Blackpink members as if they were still the trainees he'd evaluate.

"This comeback will project your popularity," he started.

"Blackpink has a promising future but the last comeback came out...just okay. Stay didn't receive much hype. This time, all of you have continuously trained your vocal and dance, you have to give your all. The company, of course, supported your comeback. We'll go all out, with the marketing and promotion, with the MV production, everything. Big investment. I hope the result won't be disappointing."

The maknae line nodded reluctantly but on their side, Jisoo and Jennie didn't even move their eyeballs.

Sajang-nim stopped talking but his eyes didn't stop glaring. He wasn't done. One by one, he looked at them while he thought about something to say. The girls cowered under his scrutiny.

But suddenly he stopped and pointed his finger briefly at Jisoo. She gulped.

"You should change your hair color," he said firmly. Jisoo looked at him with zipped tight as she waited, though she was sure anything that came from his mouth would be criticism.

It took a few seconds for him to continue but his eyes never left her.

"With your visual and your dark hair," he paused as he touched his chin, thinking.

"Don't you look more and more like SM artist?"

Sang-won watched as Jisoo's already big eyes widened when she heard that. She watched as Jisoo clenched her fists, obviously trying to control her emotion.

"Purple? Electric blue? Pink? Anything daring. Not black, not brown, not even blonde or silver. And if it's possible, change your hairstyle as well. Undercut? Bob cut? Lisa and Rose, as well. Change their hair colors. In fact, change all their hair colors and hairstyle. Sang-won, remember this, the MV filming date is getting closer."

"Yes, sajang-nim."

"You guys know your homework? Practice your parts, three days from now we have to wrap up the recording. no more mistake. Your rap verse, Lisa, the demo was good but not perfect, yet. And while you guys are at it, I'll watch and assess your dance practice the day after tomorrow."

With that, he stood up and left the room, leaving Blackpink members still stunned on their seats. Neither knew what to do, so Sang-won took it as a sign for her to take control.

"Teddy-oppa, do you have anything to say to them?" she asked the producer who had started working for another music.

Teddy tilted his head to look at the Blackpink girls then he gave them a small smile and shook his head. "You guys did well," he finally said.

The other girls laughed nervously and uttered their gratitude before Sang-won led them to walk out of the studio.

Jisoo hesitantly followed but she was still gazing at Teddy who had begun working again. She felt so guilty—another day of trouble because sajang-nim was not satisfied with her singing. And the next three days, he will judge my dancing skill. It's endless.

"Why are you staring at me, Jisoo-ya?" Teddy asked without even looking at her direction. Jisoo stopped walking and turned around, her members and managers had walked out unbothered.

"Ani, I was—"

"Hm?" Teddy mumbled as he finally turned to see her. He looked exhausted, his eyes were bloodshot red, so different from the fresher look he had before they started the recording. It was at that realization that she broke down. Because of her, another person suffered. She caused trouble just by being...her.

She bowed 90 degrees while trying hard to hide the tears that had fallen. Thank God the light was dimmed. "I'm sorry, oppa. I'll do better next time."

She waited but Teddy-oppa didn't give her any sort of response so she excused herself. Just as she was about to go out, Teddy stood up from his seat and stretched loudly.

"Damn, what a day. But I've told you time to time, haven't I? You're not lacking. You just keep letting him get the better of you. That's your mistake."

~

"Your dance looked really clumsy. It's the same choreography but you make it look boring," he said as he fixed his hat. She looked down, too afraid to know what'd come next.

"The four of you. Even from the start, you've made a clique. It's true, your group stood out because the four of you match and in-sync. All of you are talented. You, too, Jisoo, the first time I watched your performance, I was satisfied. Your vocal is stable, and your dance is above average. But over time, while the other three improve, you stay right there. You don't improve, you're left behind. It makes me think—the first thing you showed me, it's that all you've got?"

She felt her head spinning, her entire body shook.

"You got too excited working in YG Stage department? Why does it feel like you did better there than here?

"No, I want to debut—"

"Really? Why should I invest someone who always disappoints? This is not your first monthly evaluation. You've been here for so long."

"Sajang-nim, I—"

"If it continues like this. I can't help it."

No, no way. Please, I've tried so hard, I've done my best. I don't want to stop here. Please, I—

As she looked up, she saw that thing, that shadow. It was laughing at her, it was looking down at her. She stared at it in horror, her knees had given up and she fell on her knees, begging. No, I'm scared, please, anyone, help me!

"The four of you. You all can't debut. Because of you, Jisoo."

"AH!"

Jisoo came awake in the dark and laid on her bed, blinking. Her breath had turned erratic and her heart beat frantically. But this time she was no longer confused.

Like she had anticipated it. It was bound to come at her. 

She gathered strength to sat up on the bed but only then she realized the tears that had stained her cheeks. Was she crying in her sleep? She didn't know. 

But dear God, she was sooo tired..

It took her several minutes before she was completely awake and realized that she was not in her dorm. Ah, that's right, she thought. This bedroom—the warmth, the smell, the atmosphere, the softness, everything screams Kim Jisoo. Yes, she was in her own bedroom. Kim's household. 

That brought a small smile on her already tear-stained face as she recalled. Earlier manager-unnie brought her back home once she sensed her sadness. The meeting with YG had worsened everyone's mood, particularly Jennie and Jisoo who refused to speak at all on the way back to the dorm. Jennie went to sleep as soon as her touched the seat, while Jisoo spent the entire car ride to look out the window, not bothered to turn around and checked on the other members. Given up, Sang-won actually went as far as to send the two of them back to their respective homes so that they could wind down a little bit. Go meet your parents and eat good food, Sang-won said. 

Jisoo was so thankful for her manager.

It was already midnight, which meant her parents had probably fallen asleep downstairs in their room. She remembered the moment she stepped inside her house, she hugged her mother tight and cried for a good 30 minutes. But when her mom asked about what made her cry, she didn't tell her, afraid that it'd make her mother worried. She told her that she was just super, super tired—which was true. And as her mother who knew her daughter best, she didn't ask further. Jisoo cried to her a lot of times, and when she was ready to tell her what had happened, she would. Eomma wouldn't force Jisoo to tell her right away.

But now she regretted it. She should've told her mother about this. The reason manager-unnie brought her home was exactly so that she could share her pain with her mother, unnie knew she wouldn't act weak in front of the members. Home was the only place she could break down her walls before she could build it again the next day. But she was unbelievably stubborn. Now it was impossible to wake her parents in the middle of the night—she's an adult for God's sake.

Which meant there was only one person left. 

She took her phone and just what she had expected, there were a bunch of messages from Jinyoung. 

P. Jinyoung (09:33PM):
Hey, you can tell me once you've wrapped everything up, I'll call you.

P. Jinyoung (10:23PM):
So..no call again tonight?

P. Jinyoung (11:45PM):
Goodnight, Jisoo. Sweet dreams.

Just four more daysTears fell involuntarily but laughter escaped . As she wiped her tears, she once again made a silent prayer to thank God that Jinyoung existed in her reality. Because the love she felt for Jinyoung gave her strength in times like this. Every day she wished that time would fast-forward to Sunday—her favorite day of the week because she could meet Jinyoung and Blinks at the same time. ..

She grabbed her phone and began texting her reply. 

Jisoo (12:41AM):
Jinyoung-ah, I'm sorry. I took a nap and overslept ㅠㅠ
Goodnight to you, too. Sweet dreams.

She didn't know why she texted him, though. It was late so what should she expect? Jinyoung was probably asleep, I mean, like her, he had schedule and practices and boy group's dance practices are more challenging and tiring. But deep down, she wished magic would happen—where Jinyoung had yet to sleep and replied to her text.

She really didn't want to cope with this alone..although it was entirely her fault.

But then her phone rang.

 

 

Incoming call from P. Jinyoung.

She answered it in a heartbeat.

"Hey," his deep voice greeted her. She unconsciously smiled.

"Hi," she greeted him back. "I thought you were asleep."

"Not yet," he replied and then heaved a deep sigh. "I can't sleep."

That caught her attention. Jinyoung's voice, it sounded so different, so..desperate. Like hers. Tonight's phone call would be different, she was sure of it. Both of them were having a hard time.

"Me, too. I can't sleep, too."

"Maybe because you napped too long," he tried to , albeit his voice was too serious for his liking.

Still, she giggled. "Yeah, that, too."

"So there is something else?"

"Hm?"

"Something else is bothering you?" he asked softly. Jisoo made him wait for a few seconds, reconsidering if she should tell him that she, too, was having a bad day. But scratch that, she really need someone to lean on.

"Yes," she answered, short and clear.

For a while, both of them didn't talk, enjoying the silence and the sound of each other's breath through the phone. Until Jinyoung talked.

"Jisoo," he called her, his voice sorrowful.

She waited for him to continue. For some reasons, his voice made her sad. She didn't realize tears had started to well up in her eyes.

"I really want to see you. I need to see you."

That shocked her. And she didn't know what to respond so she remained quiet. She tried to hold back the funny feeling that blossomed inside her, like a combination of happiness and sadness, otherwise she would tear up. 

He didn't know just how much, how desperate, she missed him.

Apparently, he, too, waited for her reaction but when she failed to do so, he chuckled.

"But I know it's impossible," he said. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me."

"Me, too. I really want to see you, too," she said almost inaudible. Thankfully, Jinyoung caught that.

"But I can't meet you now. There are cameras in your dorm, right?"

Dorm? Ah, wait! 

"Jinyoung-ah," she called him suddenly. "I'm not in the dorm, right now. I'm at my parents' house."

"Your home? Where? Seoul?"

"Yes."

Jisoo felt her heart beat faster. She wasn't in the dorm now, which meant she was free to meet him. But how? Where? Her home? Her parents were here, too. But she really wanted to meet him..

"Then..can I come to see you?"

Jisoo's eyes widened. Is this happening? 

"Just for a short while. I promise."

"Okay."

"Alright, I'll grab a taxi real quick."

"Be careful. Let's just meet at a small park near my house. It's secluded, so I'm sure it's safe. I'll text the address to you," she replied. 

"Okay. Wait there, Jisoo."

"Wait for me."

~

The night was surprisingly cold so she cladded herself in her favorite red oversized hoodie and Adidas sweatpants. Not to forget, of course, Idol must-have items: a mask and a cap. 

But the cold was no longer important.

She anxiously waited at the park in the dark of the night after she sneaked out from her parents' house. A few minutes ago, Jinyoung texted her that he was almost there so she hurriedly put on anything comfortable and walked to the meeting point.

The park was partly a playground for children. It was small with lots of trees around it. At night, there weren't any people, since it was inside a residential neighborhood, which was a perfect place for idols to meet up. Secluded, out-of-nowhere park.

Jisoo couldn't believe this was happening. She was going to meet Jinyoung. Outside Inkigayo. Without any guidance of her manager. Just her and Jinyoung alone. 

She was happy to the point that she was close to tears. Because this was exactly what she needed. The magic that she wished for had come true, and it scared her, what would happen afterward. 

After this, there's no turning back. I love Jinyoung so much. 

Her phone in her pocket vibrated. A notification popped up, Jinyoung texted her that he was here. She looked around until she found someone in a black hoodie and black cap, sporting an idol-mask as well. Jisoo waved her hands in the air, hoping that he'd see her. There was no way she's going to shout.

The person saw her and jogged towards her. The closer he got, the clearer she could see that it was Jinyoung. Her feet moved unconsciously to get closer to him and when he was finally in front of her in flesh, she, without thinking, threw herself into his arms. 

He embraced her back without any second thought.

They stayed there, embracing each other for only God knew how long. 

Let them be. They needed this. 

---------

For those who patiently waited for my story, thank you so much. I definitely will finish this. But first of all, I'm sorry for the long update. The editing took me a while because I need to re-check all the information and facts. I somehow don't want to be misleading, although it's just a story, maybe it's just my stubborn perfectionism. 

Also adding new information that I received recently, and I thought of a new plot in the middle of writing so I keep erasing and re-writing everything.

I promise you the next chapter will come faster. I've written half but as I said, the editing takes a while. I really want this story to give me satisfaction. So...sorry that you have to cope with me..

Thank you so much, once again. I hope you read my story words by words, hahaha. I paid attention to every word.

From this chapter onwards, it won't be too realistic anymore because there weren't many interactions between Jisoo and Jinyoung so I have to come up with my own delusional scenario. But still, I will try to make it like a typical slice of life story—the reason I tag this story in a drama tag. By the way, if you notice my story will continuously have problems and crisis and drama because it's just how life goes by (sadly), right? Like my life right now, lol. I hope everyone can find happiness despite all the difficulties, just like Jisoo and Jinyoung who found each other.

Last but not least, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger!