Kevin felt his body being lifted off the ground as he was held by a pair of strong arms going down a hill. Eli’s breathing as he lays his head by his chest, arms around Eli’s neck, somehow soothes his soul as he slowly surrenders himself to his dreams.

The next thing he knew he was lowered down gently onto a soft, comfortable bed, tucked under the thick covers of a handmade quilt. A weight then pushed down the spot by the edge of the bed as Eli brought his hand to Kevin’s head, the latter. Watching him sleep was calming as his hands slowly made its way down to Kevin’s jaw line, traced the nose bridge before finally stopping on the lips.

“This lips were definitely on mine,” Eli whispered as he smiled at the thought of cheeky-boy Kevin.

Eli let out a yawn as his mind slowly fades out to weariness from staying up all night. He pressed their forehead together-their usual gesture when a thought suddenly pops out in his playful head. Eli waved his hand infront of Kevin’s closed eyes to make sure the boy was really sound asleep.

“Might as well,” Eli smirked as he inched closer and brought his lips to that of Kevin’s parted lips.

The boy let out a low hum as Eli saw a small smile creeping on the lips he just kissed. Eli’s heart skipped a beat, cracking his brain to find silly reasons to cover up what he just did in case that boy opens his eyes. But he didn’t, instead he just stirred in his sleep and shifted his position. Eli let out yet another yawn as he stood up and took one last look at the peaceful boy on the bed before turning to leave.

Eli stopped in his tracks as he felt a weak pull on his wrist. Surprised, he turned to see Kevin still on laying down with his eyes shut, his arm reaches out to hold Eli back.

“Stay, please,” Kevin murmured into the sheets.

Eli felt a tug of sympathy on his heartstrings. Leaving the poor boy all alone again after finally reuniting was indeed a little heartless. Eli wasted no time thinking as he laced their fingers together. Kevin scooted away making some space for Eli on the bed next to him. As if he understood, Eli took his place next to Kevin.

“Don’t leave me alone, ever.” Kevin whispered.

Eli took the boy into his embrace as they both lay down together. How perfect they bodies moulded together as Eli wraps one arm on the skinny boy’s waist while the other gently his hair. Eli inhaled Kevin’s scent amazed at how much that boy smell a lot like his favourite perfume.

Eli would give everything up just to have this boy healthy and alive in his arms forever. How unfair it was that such a bright boy were simply living his life counting down on the days he had left on this earth. How scared Kevin is as he wake up each day to face a life like a damn ticking time bomb that would explode any moment, like how he could just have his final breathe without a last goodbye. Eli is even more afraid to lose the boy that gave Eli so much reason to live for and one of them was himself- Kevin Woo Sung Hyun.

Eli held Kevin closer and tighter as if he’d permanently lose hisbrother if he ever lets go. He pulled the covers over both their bodies and together they drift away to their own dreams.

∞

Eli woke up to soft whimpers from the body pressed against his chest. Kevin’s eyebrows were creased as he bits down on his lips. Eli rubs the sleep off his eyes as he looked down to see Kevin clutching tightly on his t-shirt, if he was any stronger, it would probably be all holey by now.

“Kevin?” Eli croaked, his voice still raw from the sleep.

The boy’s whimpers turned to painful groans coming from the back of Kevin’s throat. Panic began to reign over Eli as he sat up. Kevin’s arms flailing to look for a source to grasp. Kevin was breaking out in sweats as his breathing got heavier.

“Kevin? Are you okay?” Eli leaned in closer to Kevin’s ears.

Kevin’s hands finally found Eli’s strong arms as he grabbed on it tightly as if clinging on for his dear life. Eli flinched at the forced suddenly exerted from the weak boy.

“J—just, s-stay close t—to me,” Kevin managed to breathed out, his voice faint.

Eli hated the fact all he could do is sit there helpless, he hated the fact that he could do nothing much but ‘just stay close.’ He doesn’t even know if Kevin would often experience such pain almost every night, and worst, all alone. He cursed silently in his head.

Kevin let out another painful groan as his hold got tighter on Eli’s arm. ‘No, not today please. Not now please, God please.’ Eli silently prayed his heart already in pieces.

“E—Eli. It h-hurts,” Kevin whimpered.

“Please, Kevin. Get yourself together; I know you’re stronger than this. Please.”

“B—bedside, Eli,” Kevin gasped.

Slowly, the deep crease on Kevin’s brow softens and he relaxed the tight hold he had on Eli’s arms. Eli sat Kevin up, leaning his back against the bed frame as he kissed Kevin’s forehead, in small hope it might ‘kiss the pain away’ for a bit. He then rushed over to the table by the bedside and took the bottle with white pills in them. Pouring a glass of water and shaking out two pills out, he handed it over to Kevin who was taking in short breaths to regulate his breathing. Kevin swallowed the pills and handed Eli an empty glass who placed it back to its original place.

“I stopped chemo,” Kevin confessed, his head hung low.

With only three words, Eli felt the room around him spin as his leg finally gave way as he lands himself on the edge of the bed. He gripped tightly on the sheets as he gritted his teeth. Why Kevin gave up on the hope he had to survive a longer? Eli’s emotions were a complete mess. Mad, devastated, helpless?

Eli turned to face Kevin who still had his head hung low.

“Why?” Eli was surprise at how calm his voice came out despite the fact that his heart was slowly breaking.