Chansung

Chansung was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling on Sunday morning. He hadn't slept well since he'd dropped Jay off with Jea on Friday night. He had too much on his mind to fall asleep. Instead of worrying what was going on with his son, Chansung had gotten to work researching lawyers in the Seoul area who specialized in custody law.

He'd visited websites and read reviews of satisfied clients who'd won their cases. Some of the sites were filled with pictures of the victorious parent and their kids smiling big for the camera. Chansung couldn't help but notice there were no pictures of the losing parents crying while their children were ripped out of their arms.

Before he'd tumbled into bed last night, Chansung had managed to narrow the choices down to three qualified attorneys. He'd sent off quick emails to each one explaining his case and asking if they could help him.

Now that he'd done what he could about his most pressing problem, thoughts of Junho and the crushed look on his face when he'd left the house the other night flooded Chansung's mind. Everything he’d done from the moment he pushed away from Junho had been bush-league. He was an , no doubt about it.

In his defense, he had no idea what to say to Junho. He'd freaked out over the thought of losing his son and instead of talking to Junho about that, he'd physically shoved him away and avoided him for the rest of the week "God, I'm a giant ing five year old." 

The question now was how to get Junho to listen to an apology. Junho was a bigger man than Chansung was. Hell, he was a better man than Chansung was. He had no doubt Junho would at least listen. Whether or not he'd be willing to get their relationship back on track was another matter.

In the wee hours of the morning, Chansung had decided he didn't want to lose Junho. His lover had been dead on when he'd said that Jea would use any excuse she could find for taking Jay away from him. He'd be damned if he let her take away the man he was falling in love with too.

Throwing back the covers, Chansung got out of bed and headed for the shower. If he was going to get down on his knees and beg Junho to forgive him, he needed to be clean. He was ripping his t-shirt over his head when his door buzzer screeched.

He shrugged back into his shirt and walked out of the bedroom toward the front door. He had no doubt it was Jea bringing Jay back early. They could go grab breakfast at Pony Express. Maybe he'd shoot a text to Junho inviting him to join them.

Hitting the door buzzer, Chansung crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath trying to find his Zen. Seeing his ex-wife always seemed to bring out the worst in him and he didn't want Jay to see that side of him.

A quiet knock sounded on the door and Chansung unlocked it and pulled it open, all the while pasting a fake smile on his face. He wasn't prepared to see the person standing on his doorstep "Junho?" 

"Good morning. I, uh, thought you might be hungry. I brought breakfast." Junho held up a bakery bag in one hand, in the other was a drink caddy with two hot drinks.

Chansung was stunned. He'd been a world-class to Junho and now here he was with breakfast "Come in. I'll grab plates." he pointed toward the small dining room table while he went to get paper plates for them to eat from. He set one in front of Junho and kept the other for himself.

"Dinosaurs?" Junho held up the plate decorated with a snarling T-Rex.

Chansung laughed "They're Jay's favorite. My mom buys them by the metric ton."

"She's a great lady. I had a bit of a chance to talk to her this week when she picked up Jay. I could tell she was not a fan of the classroom dragons, but she cooed over them like she loved them as much as Jay."

That was his mom to a tee. She always loved what he and Jay loved, just because they loved it "She's one of a kind." now that Junho was here, Chansung had no idea what to say. He'd rehearsed what he wanted to say a hundred times since he'd woken up this morning but now those words felt all wrong "Junho, I..."

Instead of looking at Chansung, Junho opened the pastry bag and brought out two huge croissants. He set one on each of their plates "I hope you like croissants. They're my favorite."

"They're my favorite too. How do you like yours? Toasted? Butter or jelly?" Chansung took Junho's cue. He'd stick to the subject of breakfast for now. Actually, what he'd do was wait Junho out. It was obvious his lover had come here for a reason, what he needed to do was shut up and let Junho explain in his own good time.

Junho looked up at Chansung, his dark eyes looking dull "Toasted with butter would be great. I also got us hot chocolates. I didn't know how you took your coffee, so..."

"Hot chocolate is perfect. I love the way they make it at Holy Cannoli. Everything there is delicious. Jay loves the chocolate glazed donuts. Of course he ends up wearing more of the chocolate glaze than he manages to eat, but that's half the fun." Chansung turned from Junho and busied himself with slicing the pastries and popping the cut halves in the toaster.

While the croissants were heating up, Chansung went to the fridge and grabbed the butter and grape jelly. He loved to slather the buttery treat in more butter and then add a layer of jelly.

A few minutes later, breakfast was on the table. Chansung watched as Junho lightly buttered his croissant and took a sip from the steaming hot cup of chocolate "Perfect." he sighed happily. 

Chansung studied the man sitting across from him. The man he was helplessly falling in love with. He was perfect sitting there with a blissed-out look on his face. Now that it wasn't the right time to apologize, he knew exactly what he wanted to say to Junho. He'd bide his time though and wait until Junho said what he came here to say. Chansung just hoped those words would bring them closer together rather than pushing them further apart.

"There's something I want to talk to you about." Junho said without preamble.

Grabbing for a napkin, Chansung finished chewing his mouthful of buttery French goodness and sat up straighter in his chair "Okay." his heart started hammering in his chest. What Junhoh said next could have serious repercussions on where things with them were heading.

"You've met Kim Minjun, the principal of Little Wonder Clovers, right?" Junho's face held no sign of emotion.

Chansung nodded "I've met him a few times at school events." he had no earthly idea where Junho was going with this conversation unless of course he'd spoken to the principal about having Jay removed from his classroom. Chansung felt his heart break all over again. Jay would be devastated to lose his favorite teacher.

"I don't know if you know this, but Jun's brother, Kim Jongup, is a family lawyer who specializes in custody cases." Junho offered Chansung a smile. 

Visibly sagging in his seat, Chansung felt like he could breathe again. At least Jay wasn't going to lose Junho, whether Chansung would lose him or not remained to be seen "I was looking at custody lawyers in the area last night and I remember seeing Kim Jongup's name."

Was Kim Jongup the reason Junho was here this morning? He'd been a complete and total to Junho and he'd come over this morning to help him with his situation with Jay.

Junho chewed thoughtfully on his pastry, his eyes glued to Chansung "I sent Jongup a text and let him know you would be calling. I also let him know you were part of the Little Wonder Clovers family."

Chansung felt humbled. If now wasn't the time to apologize to Junho, Chansung didn't know when was "Thank you so much for contacting Kim Jongup for me. There's something, a couple of things, actually, I'd like to talk to you about too, if you're agreeable to listening."

Junho

Junho took a sip from his hot chocolate, rolling the hot, sweet mixture over his tongue before swallowing.  He had a feeling he knew exactly what Chansung was going to say, that he was sorry for the way things went down the other day, but that they needed to stay apart for Jay's sake. Pulling up his big boy pants, Junho nodded "I'm listening."

Chansung found his first smile of the day over Junho agreeing to listen to him "I was a complete and total asshat the other night." 

"No you weren't." Chansung was a complete asshat, but Junho understood why Chansung acted the way he had and that had to count for something.

"It's nice of you to disagree, but I was such a . I freaked out about the possibility of losing Jay and I took it out on you. I'm so sorry I did that, Junho. Can you ever forgive me?" Chansung folded his hands on the table and stared at Junho with hopeful eyes.

"Of course I can forgive you." Junho offered Chansung a smile. He took a deep breath, already prepared for Chansung to give him the brush off.

Standing up from the table, Chansung crossed over to where Junho was sitting and knelt beside him "I've missed you so much over these last few days. My life just isn't the same place without you in it. I know there's a possibility that I could lose custody of my son. I just don't want to lose you too." Chansung took a shuddering breath, his eyes never leaving Junho's.

Junho, for his part, was stunned. He couldn't believe the words coming out of Chansung's mouth. He was too stunned to say anything. All he could seem to manage was a nod.

"I totally understand if you don't want to give this thing between us another try, but if you do, I promise I'll never hurt you again, Junho. I'll be the best friend you've ever had and the best lover and I'll..."

The only way Junho knew to get Chansung to stop talking long enough to give his answer was to kiss the stubborn man. He pressed their lips together, tasting the grape jelly Chansung had smeared on his croissant.

"Is that a yes?" Chansung asked breathlessly "I didn't hear a yes in there anywhere, although I will admit I was a bit distracted by those heavenly lips."

Junho nodded. He stood up and offered his hands down to Chansung, pulling the other man back to his feet. Once they both had their balance, Junho wrapped his arms around Chansung's waist and buried his face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you for giving me a second chance." Chansung whispered "I won't let Jea take away the two people I care about the most."

As much as Junho loved the feeling of being back in Chansung's strong arms, there were so many things to consider "Jea said that your being gay is the reason she wants to take Jay away from you. If we're together, she's going to find out. I can't be the reason you lose Jay." Junho took a deep breath "If you lose him, I lose him too, Chansung."

Chansung pulled back from Junho, cupping the other man's face in his hands "It means the world to me that your first thought is about Jay. When we're done hugging this thing out, I'm gonna call Kim Jongup and see if I can get an appointment."

"Well then I guess we're done hugging this out." Junho tried to take a step back from Chansung. He didn't want that call to wait one more minute. Chansung wasn't letting him go. 

"One more minute, Junho. I thought I'd lost you for good. All I want to do is hold you for one more minute."

Junho wrapped his arms around Chansung. Who was he to argue with that kind of logic?