Chapter 13

Reading Writing Romance

Chansung

There was a bite to the late September wind as Chansung hurried along Gangnam Street toward Kim Jongup's law office. As much as he hated leaving Junho's warm embrace, Chansung couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet with Jongup on a Sunday afternoon when he didn't have Jay. There was no way he'd bring his son along on a trip to his lawyer's office. Actually, he didn't even know if Jongup was his attorney. He'd seen a fee schedule on the website and Jongup's services were pretty pricey. 

Despite the chill in the air, Chansung was sweating his off. A case of nerves always did that to him. Only a month ago, his life with Jay was perfect, but he was lonely with no handsome black-eyed man in his life. Now, he had Junho, but could very easily lose his son.

The law office was a simple shop front with the names of Jongup and his partner on the door. His heart hammering, Chansung pushed through the front door and saw the office was empty "Jongup?"

"Hey, Chansung!" a voice yelled from the back of the office. A moment later, Jongup ran out of his office and toward his potential client. He was dressed in a pair of worn jeans and Patriots sweatshirt. 
Chansung's anxiety doubled as the other man ran toward him "Hwang Chansung." he held out his trembling hand to shake with his potential lawyer. 

"Kim Jongup." the lawyer shook his hand. He seemed to be sizing Chansung up with his eyes. 

Chansung thought the lawyer was a dead-ringer for his brother with his dark eyes and wavy, dark hair "It's good to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Don't believe everything my brother or Junho tells you." Jongup rolled his eyes "Come with me and we can get started. Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Water?" 

"How about a shot of Jack Daniels?" Chansung asked on a nervous giggle, only half-kidding. He hadn't been this nervous when he was going through his divorce. He'd known Jea didn't want Jay full-time, so at the very least he was guaranteed some sort of shared custody, but if Jea won, Jay would be half planet away from him and Junho. 

Jongup stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to face Chansung "I can't possibly imagine what you're going through, Chansung, but I can promise you I'll do everything in my power to keep your son here in Seoul."

Chansung nodded, feeling too emotional at the moment to talk without bursting into tears. Even with Junho in his life, it would kill him to lose Jay. 

Jongup clapped a hand on Chansung's shoulder before heading into his office "Please sit." he indicated a comfy-looking high-back chair in front of his impressive mahogany desk. 

Taking the seat Jongup pointed to, Chansung tried to settle himself down a bit. 

"Thank you for faxing over a copy of the lawsuit. It gave me time to review it." Jongup slipped on a pair of expensive-looking glasses. 

Chansung had a lot of time to review it too. Every time he read it, he felt sick to his stomach. At least sitting here with Jongup, he knew he'd get a professional opinion about what to do next "What did you think?"

"I think that in all my years of studying and practicing family law, I've never read a more offensive and downright bitter lawsuit."

Not expecting Jongup's take on the problem, Chansung burst out laughing. Of course Jea would have a hand in being the most offensive plaintiff Jongup had encountered. 

Jongup grinned over his horn-rimmed glasses "What the hell did you do to piss your ex off this badly?" Jongup grabbed a pen and flipped to a blank page on his legal pad before he turned his full attention back to Chansung.

Chansung sighed. He knew coming in that he'd have to tell the story about his sham of a marriage, well aware of how bad the story made him look  "I'm gay, and dated Jea to hide my uality. She coerced me into having with her one time and she got pregnant with Jay. She never wanted anything to do with our son and finally when he was two years old, I couldn't take it anymore and divorced her." Chansung looked down at his hands, folded in his lap, not wanting to see the judgmental look in Jongup's eyes.

"Look, Chansung. It's not really my story to tell, but my big brother struggled something fierce with coming to terms with who he was. It was hell on me watching him struggle, so I can't imagine what it was like for either of you to go through it. I'm in no position to judge you for how you lived your life, but that doesn't mean the judge assigned to this case won't take that into consideration on both sides."

"Both sides?" what was there to take into account on Jea's side? She was the wronged party, so to speak.

Shoving his glasses back up his nose, Jongup pegged Chansung with his dark eyes "Anyone who has spent time working in the family court system can tell you that revenge is our stock in trade. Based on the wording of your ex's lawsuit, it's easy to see she's out to stick it to you in any way possible."

"I'd wondered if that was the case or if this is how all custody suits were written." Chansung had found not only the language but the allegations especially harsh. 

"Parents want custody of their kids for any number of reasons, child support money, to stick it to their ex or because they truly love their kids and put their best interests first. Jea-ssi is alleging that your lifestyle..." Jongup said that word like it tasted bad in his mouth "...is putting Jay at risk. Do you agree with that?"

Biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud, Chansung took a deep breath. This was the very heart of the matter and Jongup needed to hear the cold hard truth about his ex-wife "Jea's dream had always been to go to journalism school and become the next Diane Sawyer. Getting pregnant with Jay derailed that plan for her. She had to drop out of school after our sophomore year. Throughout her entire pregnancy, she ed and moaned about losing her dream."

"How did you spend her entire pregnancy?" Jongup looked poised to write again.

"I took classes online, worked part-time at the library and tried to spend as much time with Jea and my unborn son as I could because she wasn't very responsible."

Jongup quirked an eyebrow "What do you mean not very responsible?"

"She didn't eat well, forgot to take her pre-natal vitamins, and..." Chansung trailed off, seeing that day clear as a bell in his head, even though it was six years ago "And she drank."

"Drank alcohol?" he bit his lip, looking like he was trying not to smile. 

Chansung nodded "I came home one day after work and she was sitting in front of the television with a bowl of chips and a beer in her hand. I wanted to yell and scream at her for hurting our baby, but all I did was take the drink away from her and then made her a sandwich."

Carding a hand through his dark hair, Jonhup focused his attention back on Chansung "Tell me about the day Jay was born."

Chansung's face burst into a bright smile. Despite everything that was going on, the day his son was born would never cease to make him smile "It was the best day of my life. I'd gone to all of the Lamaze classes with Jea and knew exactly what I was supposed to do. All through the labor and birth, she screamed at me, calling me every name in the book and telling me how much she hated my ing guts. Those were the first words my son heard on this earth, Jea telling me she hated me." Chansung paused taking a shaky breath. He knew Jay would never remember the day he was born, but Chansung would.

Jongup looked up from his legal pad with a frown on his face "What happened after Jay was born?"

"I cut the cord and got to hold him for the first time after the nurses weighed him and took his tiny footprints. Jea didn't want anything to do with him. She lay in bed complaining about the pain and watching Jerry Springer, we were studying overseas back then. I had to force her to hold him. I'd read in parenting books about how important those first few hours are for bonding with the baby. She held him for a minute and then shoved him back at me."

Jongup shook his head "And it continued on like this, with her not participating in Jay's life?"

Chansung nodded "Like I said, her treatment of Jay was the reason I filed for divorced and asked for full custody."

Jongup frowned again "Why didn't you get it?" 

"Jea's family has money and they hired some high-powered Boston firm to represent her interests. She didn't want Jay, but filed for joint custody just to hurt..." Chansung sighed, knowing he deserved to pay for the way he treated her, but for how long?

"You?"

"Maybe, but I think the real reason she did it was to hurt Jay." Chansung sank his head into his hands.

"That reinforces my assumption that she filed this lawsuit for revenge. There's nothing stopping her from handing over full custody of Jay to you so she can go off and start her new life with her fiancée." Jongup shook his head and took off his glasses, setting them down on the desk blotter in front of him. 

"I thought the same thing." Chansung said miserably.

"What I'm going to need you to do is write down every instance you can remember where Jea-ssi mistreated Jay. Don't leave anything out, no matter how slight you think it is. I need to draft a countersuit and will need that information to write it."

"I can do that." Chansung sure as hell had a lot of material to cover in the five plus years of Jay's life. 

Jongup took a deep breath and put his glasses back on before grabbing his pen "Now comes the hard part. Jea-ssi's suit alleges your inability to be a good father based on your ual orientation."

Chansung sighed, nodding his head in agreement.

"You and I both know that is pure and utter horse !" 

Glancing up from his hands with a shocked look on his face, Chansung leaned closer to the desk "I'm glad we're in agreement there." it was nice to know that there were people in this crazy world who thought gay men were good fathers. 

"I don't mean to be personal, but are you seeing anyone?" Jongup asked casually. 

Thinking of Junho turned Chansung's entire mood around. The morning they'd spent loving each other was one of the best times of his entire life. Saying I love you and hearing Junho say it back was a dream come true "I am. I started seeing Lee Junho."

"I thought so." the look on Jongup's face was grave. 

Chansung didn't like the look on Jongup's face "Is that going to be a problem for Junho since he's Jay's teacher? Did Minjun-ssi say that Junho was facing consequences for our relationship?"

Jongup shook his head "No, no, nothing like that. Jun has been friends with Junho for years and he's thrilled that Junho found someone."

"Why do I sense a but coming on?" Chansung had a really bad feeling about this. 

"There is a but coming, but it has to do with your being in a relationship, not who you're in the relationship with." Jongup took off his glasses again and folded his hands in front of him on the desk. 

"What do you mean? Are you trying to say I need to break up with Junho?" Chansung felt queasy. His stomach was tossing like a rowboat in a hurricane. How would he get through this custody battle without his biggest fan at his side?

Jongup nodded with a sad look in his dark eyes "Jea-ssi is alleging that your being gay affects your ability to parent Jay. It would look more favorable if you were single during this process."

"How long will this case take?" Jesus Christ! Chansung's head was swimming. Jongup was serious about him breaking up with Junho. They'd only sorted themselves out this morning. How the hell was he going to tell the man that he loved that they couldn't be together? 

"Depending on how agreeable the parties are, a suit like this could take anywhere from a few months to a few years." the sad look in Jongup's eyes was genuine.

"A few years?" Chansung would never survive without Junho. He was struggling being without him now.  He couldn't imagine how it would feel not being able to touch his lover for years.

"I know what I'm asking is a tough thing to swallow, but it's what's best for Jay and for you and Junho in the long run. We're both adults here, Chansung. If Junho is the outward reason you lose custody of Jay, your relationship will never survive."

In his heart, Chansung knew Jongup was right. He could literally feel his heart splintering into a million pieces "If I do this..." Chansung in a shaky breath that felt like his lungs were full of broken glass "...will it increase my chances of keeping my son?”

Jongup nodded "Any other family lawyer worth his salt would advise you the same way." slipping his glasses back on, Jongup smiled at Chansung "Sitting here with you for the last half hour has shown me what an amazing man and father you are. Knowing Junho as well as I do, I'd guess that those are two of the main reasons he fell so hard for you. He'll understand that being apart for now is the best thing for you and Jay."

Chansung nodded miserably, wondering how in the hell he was going to explain this to Junho, and Jay for that matter. He was going to need to have a talk with his son tonight, but it wasn't the one he and Junho envisioned having.

"And Chansung, when I say apart, that means no contact at all. No texting, no emails, no casually bumping into each other at restaurants or parties, no smoke signals, no passing notes.  You can have nothing to do with Lee Junho beyond dropping off and picking Jay up at school. Understood?"

Chansung understood in order to keep his son, he was going to have to say goodbye to the man who had completely stolen his heart.

 

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Junho

Junho couldn't sit still. His emotions were all over the place. While Chansung was at Jongup's law office, he'd been so full of energy that he'd cleaned Chansung's whole apartment. Although, truth be told, he spent a lot of that time in Jay's room playing with his cool dinosaur toys.

It was still hard to believe that this morning was real. He'd taken a big chance coming over to Chansung's apartment unannounced, especially after the way things had been between them all week with Chansung giving him the silent treatment.

As much as Junho loved Chansung, he knew the bond Jay had with his father was so much more important. His hurt feelings were nothing compared to the thought that Chansung could lose Jay. Junho couldn't imagine anything worse than that sweet little boy living with his ice queen of a mother.

"Junho?" Chansung shouted. 

Scrambling to his feet, Junho set the rubber T-Rex he'd been holding into the dinosaur bin and headed toward the sound of Chansung's voice "Coming." he ran through the living room toward the front door, stopping dead when he saw the lost look on Chansung's face "What happened? Are you all right?"

Chansung set the grocery bags he was carrying on the table and took off his coat, slowly hanging it up before turning around to face Junho. He shook his head no.

Junho ran to him and wrapped him up in a tight hug "It's going to be okay." he whispered, holding Chansung tighter. He felt Chansung still shaking his head. Whatever happened, Junho had a feeling it was really bad.

"Here, come sit." Junho dragged Chansung to the table and pulled out a chair for him "I'll unpack the food." to be honest, Junho needed the distraction. He knew whatever Chansung had to tell him was going to drastically affect their lives and maybe even their fledgling relationship. He wanted to delay the talk for as long as possible.

Inside the first plastic grocery bag was a bottle of chocolate milk, which Junho knew both Hwangs were crazy about, and a bottle of ketchup. In the next sack was a bag of French fries and chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. He had no doubt this was Jay's favorite meal. He put all of the food in the fridge and took the seat next to Chansung "Okay, spill it. Whatever happens we'll deal with it together." 

Chansung shook his head sadly "No, we won't. That's what Jongup told me." Chansung sighed, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

Trying to breathe through the pain slicing through his body, Junho held a hand out to Chansung, who hesitated before taking it "Start at the beginning and we'll go from there, okay?"

"Okay. Jongup asked all about my relationship with Jea and then Jea's relationship with Jay. He wants me to write a list of all the incidents where she mistreated or neglected him."

It was Junho's turn to nod "That sounds like sensible advice."

"I thought so too." Bronson pulled his hand away from Junho and went to the fridge, grabbing two bottles of water and setting them on the table "He also said that since my being gay is the heart of Jea's lawsuit, that it's for the best if we break up." Chansung lowered his head before turning away from Junho.

Junho knew this was one possible outcome of Chansung's meeting with Jongup. What he didn't know was how much it would hurt to hear Chansung say those words out loud "Okay." lame as it was, it was the only thing Junho could think to say.

Turning back around, Chansung was swiping tears from his eyes "I love you, Junho. God knows I do. The last thing I want to do right now is break up with you. It took so long to find you and now..." Chansung took a shaky breath "You're the love of my life." 

Junho could see Chansung was rapidly losing control. He had a feeling Chansung had been stoic in front of Jongup, but now he was letting his vulnerability shine through "What did Jongup say exactly?"

Chansung swiped the back of his hand across his damp eyes "He said that the best thing for us to do was to break up. If we're not together, Jea can't prove her allegations except through hearsay. It's a good thing Jay didn't know we were a couple, otherwise she could use my own son against me."

This was Junho's worst fear come to life. He was standing three feet away from the man of his dreams and he was going to lose him "Are we saying goodbye forever?" he could feel the emotion starting to well up inside of him.

Chansung shook his head no "That's the one bit of good news. Once the case is settled, we can get back together. Jongup said that if we stay together and I lose..." Chansung whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself.

Knowing exactly what Jongup said, Junho went to Chansung, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight "He said that if we stay together and you lose Jay that you'd blame me and we end up breaking up, right?"

Chansung nodded, holding Junho tighter against his chest. 

"So all we have to do is stay broken up until the case is settled?" Junho could live with that. It would probably be a few months at the most.

"Right."

"It won't be so bad, Chansung." Junho cupped the side of Chansung's face "We can text and email and accidentally bump into each other at the movies. We'll get through it."

Pulling away from Junho, Chansung paced around the kitchen "We can't do any of those things."

"What are you talking about? Jea will never know." now Junho was scared. Was Chansung saying they couldn't see each other at all?

"Jongup said that emails and texts are fair game in the trial. If her lawyers subpoena my phone and email records, they'd have our conversations. I can't remember anything we wrote to each other that's damaging or indicates that we were lovers and we need to keep it that way."

Junho pulled away from Chansung "Feels like I'm being shoved in the closet." never in his life had he felt like he had to hide his light under a basket. This felt all wrong.

"I know, Junho. It feels that way to me too." Chansung slipped up behind Junho and wrapped his arms around his lover "This isn't what I want. I just found you. I don't want to lose you, but I'll understand if this is too much for you. Jongup said that the whole thing could take years if Jea's lawyers play hardball. I don't think they will since she wants to get married so badly, but still, it means we'll be apart for however long it takes."

Junho turned in Chansung's arms "The most important thing is keeping you and Jay together. We'll see each other when you drop him off and pick him up at school. Until we can be together again, I'll live on the memories of our day in bed and I'll always hear you telling me you love me inside my head." God help him, he'd replay those words over and over again "Just know that whenever I rub my hand through the back of my hair, I'm telling you how much I love you."

Chansung nodded "A secret sign is a sweet idea. I'll do it too. I love you so much, Lee Junho, and don't you forget it."

Junho would never forget "I love you too, Hwang Chansung."

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Khunismyluv #1
Chapter 81: That was amazingly sweet
Khunismyluv #2
Chapter 78: Their conffesion to each other is so sweet
Khunismyluv #3
Chapter 44: Seriously taec is stubid
Khunismyluv #4
Chapter 24: Chansung is an a hole
Khunismyluv #5
Chapter 9: I'm making another comment because I really wanna upvote this
Khunismyluv #6
Chapter 8: Seriously I can't stop reading.... this story is amazing!
Khunismyluv #7
I'm glad someone recommended your stories to me
babikhun
#8
I miss your updates so I thought I should reread an old one
bbbrdwngs82
#9
Chapter 82: This story deserves so many more views, subs, up votes and comments. Everything about it was so beautiful and stunning and I'm not ashamed to say I cried more than a few times. All of the couples got their happily ever after and their children are lucky enough to have such amazing, understanding and caring parents
Jjwhwhwhwhhwh #10
Chapter 43: Omg Taec bottoming???? I love it!