HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY, LEADER OF RED VELVET, STONGEST, CUTEST AND PRETTIEST GODDESS BAE JOOHYUN.  (/◕ヮ◕)/ <3

_______

If the time machine does indeed exist, Seulgi would even sell her soul to the devil just so she could rewind a few days back and never left her apartment for that stupid X Mas party.

If she could run away from the place just like when she was 17, she can cut off any possible contact with a girl called Irene Bae Joohyun like she never existed in her life in the first place. She did it successfully in Seoul. 

Why not in New York, USA?

The Big Apple of America where the city never sleeps and you can easily get lost in. 

Not very much apparently. 

Sighing heavily, she glanced at the screen of her iPhone lighting up again with the certain name that's been ringing her constantly these past few days. 

She's annoyingly persistent unlike the last time. The older girl called her the very next morning after she bolted out of the older girl's door without saying anyone goodbye. Seulgi took one long glance at the phone and didn't pick up. She didb't want to pick up. 

The phone rang again. 

A couple times more. 

A couple times in the night. 

The afternoons were bombarded with text messages which she didn't have the courage to open. Irene's not that naive to realize she didn't want to pick up her calls or respond to her messages. She thought the older girl would stop her attempts after her calls were left hanging to the point of blatant rudeness from Seulgi's side.

The older girl seemed to still have that stubborn streak of her where she wouldn't give up to the end if she decided on it.At least, she had the decency not to ring her apartment doorbell. 

"Either switch it off or pick it up."

Seulgi didn't need to turn around to look at the person who let out the most obvious answer on the planet. She rolled her eyes and scoffed at Wendy's never ending clear logic.She so badly wished her robotic cousin who has the answer to every drama in her life will find someone who would mess up her mind and have no solution to her life existential question called Love. That would be a sight to see. 

"She kissed you, you kissed back. So what?"

Seulgi turned her head this time to glare at Wendy in annoyance.Why does everything seemed so simple in Wendy's head? People would think she was just simple minded. But Seulgi of all people knows how Wendy grew up in a family where she was nearly put up for adoption just because they didn't want her. 

But that was the story for another day. 

"Are you ing kidding me?! You know how-"

"How you wish you're the one who rocked her world, take her on dates, talk about BoA and everything purple and hopefully have every day without getting exhausting and wake up with her on the same bed WITHOUT YOUR PARENTS KNOWING?" Wendy cited the fantasy that Seulgi constantly talked about when she was too drunk to remember. 

"And I mean that emphasis on without you parents knowing."

Her words only made Seulgi feel worse. She could imagine what would happen once they found out about her love life. 

She realized she didn't have a legit reason in her head to feel mad at Irene for. Yeah, she drunk-kissed her and Seulgi kissed her back. And this time, she was the one who ran away when the older girl held onto her with a dead-grip.

Oh right, why did she kiss her again after leaving her alone in that damn shed.

"She shouldn't have kissed me, Wendy."

"Then pick up her phone and tell her that you didn't like it. Draw the damn line."

Seulgi kept her silence, her head starting get loud again. 

"You still love her." Wendy spoke softly, sitting down besides her. Seulgi shook her head. She could not stop shaking her head, she could not process what Wendy said. 

She would not not agree with her. 

"I can't." she blurted out, her voice hoarse, and her eyes started to get blur. 

"You should just ask her why and just rip the band-aid off."

"Easier said than done."

Wendy took a few steps closer and reached for Seulgi's hand. "I actually thought she was a . To be honest, I was ready to give her a piece of my mind when I first met her. Then she was so opposite of what I have imagined so I thought she was just a two-faced hypocrite."

"I mean a won't be constantly calling you for days straight."

Seulgi sighed and looked at her cousin in disbelief. She wasn't going to risk thinking of a chance after such emotionally traumatic experience she endured. "Wendy...you know how I lived."

"I'm not saying to give her a chance. I want you to give yourself a chance."

Seulgi half-resented and half-happy that Wendy knew her the most and always knew the right words to say. But this time she just resented how much she knew her. 
  
"Settle this and move on with your life. Whatever you decide, I will support you 100%."

"This has haunted you for years. Maybe this is your chance to close this hanging chapter with a proper ending."

Still, Seulgi couldn't find her strength to face Irene Bae Joohyun for the next couple of weeks.


________


Joohyun tried had not to rip her hair out in frustration after another call attempt went to the voice mail.  Her heart sank farther with dimming hope as time ticked. Will it be the repeat of the last time again?

Her bleary swollen eyes rimmed with red as she looked at her screen, "Call Not Answered."
 

(Flashback)

Bae Joohyun wasn't always known as Bae Irene and she wasn't always a self-admitted hypocrite. It wasn't a conscious transformation. It's the continuous stream of mistakes that she made as she descended to the greed of reaching towards her dream she always had as long as she could remember. 

Every time Joohyun thought she was heading in the right direction, she ended up in a place where she never even imagine she would feel that pathetic and sad.

Bae Joohyun wanted a forever happiness. 

She wanted the happiness that her parents have despite their own shortcomings.  She loves her father for his strong determination and his commitment to his beliefs and his fierce sense of what was right and fair. She loves her mother for her warm and loving nature to her two daughters and her patience of her beloved husband whose stubbornness caused hims several firings from his jobs. 

But it was difficult. It was a constant struggle growing up in her household, living with paycheck to paycheck, sometimes a little bit less and sometimes a little bit more.In this cruel world, there were times where one should keep his mouth shut or turn a blind eye, he didn't. Some months, her father would be let go without a salary. Her mother would open her little jewelry box again for countless of times and tried to figure which leftover family heirloom she could pawn off to pay for the bills of that month. 

As she grew older, Joohyun decided to lessen the burden of the financial hardships of her family by moving to Seoul High School with scholarship and focused on becoming the stead center of her family. She wanted her younger sister Yerim to be able to attend the school with a beautiful bag with a pretty lunch box and nice clothes. And Yeri shouldn't need to worry about getting the tuition bills at the end of the month and show it to her parents who wouldn't be able to afford to pay for it.

With all those hardships they faced, her parents never seemed to lose the love they had between them. Her mother always tried her best to see the good side of her father whose moral code sometimes landed him in hot waters and her father being protective of his wife who's very soft spoken causing other neighbors to think little of her. 

"I told you not to get involved again, Bae Soobin!!" 

"I didn't mean to, Doona-ah! But they were openly bullying him and the rest just watched and did nothing."

" You did something and now what?! You get fired again! Don't you know you have two girls at home to look after!"

This type of conversation didn't happen once or twice. It happened far too many times for Joohyun to keep count. She looked down at her crumpled report card. It was supposed to be a surprise for her parents, so she waited for three hours at the staircase in the dark. 

If she was to surprise them now, she would only have their guilty smiles as reactions instead. Joohyun stood up and went back to her shared room with Yeri, just as quietly as she came.


____



Joohyun looked at the hazy gray clouds of Seoul City sky in anguish wonder. No one told her the air in Seoul would be this bad. Granted, Seoul being the metropolitan city with the population of nearly 10 million compared to Daegu with just 2 million, it was expected to have polluted air to breathe.

But this was really bad. 

Joohyun took a train to Seoul leaving her family in Daegu with hopes and dreams in her heart. She will be starting her high-school years in Seoul, make new friends, find opportunities for her future and hopefully get that forever happiness. 

Her forever happiness.

Joohyun made it her life-goal to have her own happy family without those difficulties. She will have a successful career and pay off their house's mortgage, save for her sister's education and be comfortable with getting those bills at the end of the month. She took out her notepad from her coat's pocket, turning to the page where her dormitory would be. It seemed to not be far from her current location. Joohyun put on her mask, drag her luggage and started to walk towards her destination.

Hopefully, her roommates won't be jerks considering she would be spending her high-school years living together. Let's not be enemies, she prayed. 


____


Joohyun tried not to look irritated and kicked the guy out of the shop as she faked a smile and ignored the dreamy look on his face, punching in the numbers harshly. And the audacity of his friends whistling at them from behind. A few male students from her school followed her to her part-time job at the 24-hours mart, trying to start a meaningless conversation she didn't want to indulge.

Don't they know it's consider stalking?!

"5000 won, please."

She swiftly opened the cashier drawer and put in the money, taking out the coins for change.Making sure not to touch the hand, Joohyun muttered thanks and signaled for the next person.  

Joohyun was aware that she was pretty. And being pretty in the eyes of hormonal boys can get her fans as well as enemies. So she made sure to blend in with both sides of the coin. Because jealousy is abundant in high school and she didn't want to get involved in dramas. 

But loneliness .

If Joohyun found anyone who could hold her interest for a few days,  Joohyun took the chance hoping that she could hit the jackpot and be a little less lonely. And they would continue further along the way till she would hear the wedding bells. They would say 'I do' and face the life's adventures together. 

But love would be one of the most difficult destination to reach in her life. 

Guys just wanted to experience the feeling of holding her hand, kissing her and showing her off in front of others.  She thought her romance was going to be grandiose, the love story ever-lasting with happiness. But even a few people who managed to make her feel those flutters in heart never managed to take away that loneliness.

Her wariness of her future husband being similar to her father always managed to wake her up from the fantasy and drag her back to the bitter reality.

_____


Friends also became a concept that Joohyun struggled with.  She started to see why elders described about friends; you get selective as you get older. A few life changing experiences of what 'friends' can do to you in the name of jealousy make you filter out the people in your life. But even then, her now best friend/roommate Kim Youngsun looked at her like she was going to break down any minute. Sometimes, her childhood friend would mention during their phone calls she's counting the days where Joohyun would raise her white flag and come back to the cozy Daegu away from the corrupt Seoul. 

Maybe she should just be someone who doesn't give a flying to whatever people says or think of her. Just like Lee Sunmi in her class. 

But then again, her classmate could afford being ignorant of people's countless gossips. She came from a family of generational wealth, living with a divorced mother who seemed to be content with enjoying the leftover mountain of the wealth that will last for a few more generations. 

"Lee Sunmi can do ten shots in five minutes."

"I heard her mom let her bring anyone to her home and have her room soundproofed."

"She can throw epic parties!"

"I heard she's seeing an older guy from Yonsei."

"Maybe he bang her brains out!"

Joohyun could barely mask her disgust with the gossip mongers whenever she heard the snippets. The target herself didn't even bother correcting a single one. 

Sunmi always did well in her studies.Yes, she partied like it's her last day on earth on every Friday but she never missed a single class, always coming to school on time. But she was infamously flirtatious with both boys and girls. But there was never a rumor of her sleeping with girls until Joohyun stumbled to her making out with a girl she didn't recognize in a closet during one of their classmate's birthday bash.

It was the last thing Joohyun wanted to waste her time on earth but it was necessary for her to fit in and not be on the top ten list of their regular gossip topics.The stranger girl just flew past her in terror scared of being found out. 

"You just ruined my night of fun."

Joohyun knew she was fishing for reaction, disgust maybe. But she wasn't judgmental. Happiness is universal. You fall in love with the soul of the person. Joohyun's tired of being liked based on her appearance alone. 

"I'm sure there's other fishes in the sea." Sunmi looked visibly better at her remark and let out a genuine smile at her. It was also nice for Joohyun. 

"Thanks."

"Huh?" Joohyun asked, confused. 

"You took it much much better than I expected." Sunmi replied as she fixed herself again for the final time before getting out of the closet.

"You look fine,"Joohyun added as she looked around if there was anyone near them."Love is universal, ya know."

"Woah, Bae Joohyun I didn't take you for a romanticist."

"Hey! I also read romance!"

"I'm sure. Siwon-sunbae is a hunk. You guys are the ideal couple."

"We're just dating, nothing official."

"You don't like him?"

Joohyun had already stopped answering his calls or replied to his texts for a couple of days by then. He was a respectful sunbae and a decent guy. But once his mouth opens, all he could talk about was his dream jobs , goals and global news that never ends. "He's great but I dunno. I'm still missing something."

"Butterflies?"

"Huh?"

"If you really like someone,you can feel butterflies in your stomach." Her new friend patted her stomach teasingly. But Joohyun couldn't stop thinking about it.

Butterflies? She had felt a rush of excitement before but that usually went away after a couple of dates. 

"Maybe you should try seeing girls too!"

"I'm still straight, thank you!"

"So they say." Sunmi said with a shrug, then she gave a mischievous smile and walked together to join the party. 

Joohyun was always sure. 

She's the type who's confident in her decisions, knows what she wants and what she doesn't. It would be a never ending burden and headache for her if she's not sure. But it won't take more than a week for her to figure out what Bae Joohyun really wants. 

She still hasn't found her Mr. Right just yet. She was sure about that.

And then. 

And then Seulgi came into her life in one of the cliche'd kind of high-school rom-coms she didn't like to watch. It was unfamiliar catharsis. Warmth in her heart, mind and soul, perfect synchronization. 

It was too unfamiliar and too scary for her to accept it. 

For the first time in Joohyun's life, Seulgi became her uncertainty for years to come. 

____


Joohyun met Seulgi during one of the loneliest periods of her life. She was in her second year of high school. Studies were getting harder and she had become distant with most of the people she considered friends. As she maintained her top grades, her 'friends' started to take off their masks and showed true colors. Being the object of jealousy can help you rule out who's real and who's not. 

And it's been a while since she had dated someone properly. Without distractions of a relationship, she was able to focus more on her studies and plan properly for the university. She knew she had to give her all to achieve success, a victory worth her sacrifices. Joohyun always had her regular trips to the teacher's office to report about the school's club activities. There were times she would see some students kneeling on the floor with their hands-up. 

They were delinquents, wasting their precious time at school. They were sheltered unlike her who had to pray and work hard to get to school. So Joohyun never considered giving them a time of her day. 

But there was a name that kept constantly popping up among the teachers' gossips in the office.

'Kangsseul had done it again!'

'Did you know Kangsseul climbed the gate and skip the class today?'

'I thought she was escaping to PC cafe'.'

'She was skipping to buy the limited Pringles instead!She came back to the school during the third period.'

'Aigoo...'

Joohyun couldn't hold back her laugh. She immediately bowed in apology when her homeroom teacher looked up at her knowingly. 

"I'm sorry, Teacher Kim."

Her teacher just sighed in response and shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm just lucky you are not like her. I pity for Mr. Lim. She's a ruckus."

"..."

"It would have been perfect if she's prim and proper just like you."

Joohyun finally found out who Kangsseul was when she decided to join the school's annual sports festival as a member of the audience. It was a well-deserved break from all her studies and a handful of dates which never replaced her loneliness.

Her school got selected for playoffs for a few sports. Joohyun and her friends decided to cheer for their school's female volleyball team. And Kang Seulgi happened to be part of the team. 

"That girl's a beast." Youngsun closely commented to her ear as they watched the match. Joohyun didn't understand a thing about the volleyball. It was a rowdy crowd, both sides of the audience were competitive in their cheers.

At some point Seulgi went to the bench to listen to her coach, while using her jersey to wipe away sweat from her forehead. She's really dumb if she didn't hear those screams coming from the audience at the display of her prominent abs even though it was covered by a compression top.There was a certain grace to her movements, a certainty in her body and hands as she moved along, her eyes laser-focused as she worked through the plans.

But it wasn't just the eyes. It was everything. It's the long black shiny hair tied into a pony tail,it's her yellow headband, it's her calm, confident posture even though she's sweating under the scorched sun with eyes smiling like a pure child in the middle of the playground.

She was-she wasn't real. She's so far from the image that Joohyun had in her head when she listed off the things Kangsseul was known for. 

Being this beautiful wasn't one of them.

She noticed her constant lip bites when she was on full-concentration mode. Her eyes were so sharp and Joohyun had never seen such mesmerizing eyes like the latter in her entire life.

The buzzer beat and it was clear