A/N: So, I have no time to upload this during the rest of this week so here’s the second update! I do prewrite chapters and go back to edit them as time goes on. Very technically speaking I have the next few chapters ready, but am I gonna post them now? NOPE. So. uh, have fun with this chapter and let me know how you like things thus far. Happy reading! 

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The next few days passed by with little to no activity for the young Chinese male; he finished the painting for the exhibition while Jaemin and Chenle succeeded at the showcase. Over the course of the few days, Renjun ran into Chenle three: only one of those times did Renjun have to stop himself from coughing. He was able to keep the daisies down until the younger went off to class, then he ran to the nearest bathroom. Luckily it was during one of those periods in the day where the majority of students had class, making it easy for the boy to cough out about twenty fully bloomed daisies without being noticed.

 

“I can’t believe this.”

 

Looking down at the toilet filled with daisies, he couldn’t help but wonder if this wasn’t just a disease. This was the second time he’d experienced the symptoms and after the first time he had hoped to never experience it again. Yet, here he was; coughing up flowers in the school toilet and trying to suppress his emotions once again. The coughing was bad enough when it was Jeno, now that it was Chenle the disease got worse and moved at a much quicker pace. What was the difference between Jeno and Chenle? From where Renjun stood, or rather kneeled, he couldn’t distinguish any big factor that made one friend cause him to hurt more than the other.

 

“There’s something wrong with him again.”

 

There, in the bathroom came two distinct and too familiar voices. Renjun stayed quiet and prayed that he wouldn’t start coughing again for the time being.

 

“What do you mean Jeno?”

 

“He’s been distant with everyone and he cancels plans.”

 

“Something could be happening with his family.”

 

“Come on Mark, you know very well that’s not the case. Injun would tell us if there was a family problem.”

 

Mark sighed at the statement: his little brother was one hundred percent correct. The fact that Renjun hadn’t said anything about what was going on meant that either he couldn’t say, or that he had a health issue. After what happened with him and Jeno last year, no one in the large friend group wanted the boy to suffer. While they never specifically relayed certain words to Renjun, they really do care for him and believe he doesn’t deserve to go through such pains.

 

“Then what do you think happened?”

 

“I think he’s got a relapse. That is the worst thing I can think of.”

 

“Then it’s time we all talk to him.”

 

“If he’ll let us. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if he realizes that he doesn’t deserve to be in pain. When it was me, I wondered day and night if the reason why he held out so long was because he thought he deserved to suffer…”

 

“Whoa, whoa, Jeno I’m sure that’s not what he was thinking. In fact, I can say that’s definitely not what he was thinking.”

 

He was right; the reason why the Chinese male held out for so long was because he hoped that Jeno would notice in time. While the outcome had not been what either boy expected, things changed for the better. In Renjun’s eyes the situation between then had been resolved and through Jeno’s eyes he still felt guilty.

 

“I just… ugh.”

 

The boy in the stall knew what was going on; whenever Jeno sighs that’s the signal for him being tired and needing to lean on something. Mark watched his younger brother crumple internally right before his eyes. One might have thought Jeno fell in love with the Chinese male, but he had been asked not to and so caring for the other this way was all he could think to do.

 

“Come on, let’s go home. You’ve finished class for the day, right?”

 

“I did, but I promised Ten that I would practice with him for the next contest.”

 

“You’re skipping today.”

 

The two left the bathroom in silence while the growing pit in Renjun’s got worse. He hadn’t realized that Jeno felt so poorly about what he did, even though everyone had told him not to think so badly of himself. Chenle and Jisung even apologized for yelling at him that day, they were overly concerned that they would lose their friend. Clearly, Jeno still couldn’t shake the horrible feeling in his chest whenever the boy encountered problems.

 

Renjun stood up when he figured the coughing wouldn’t start up again then took care of his mess and straightening out his shirt before leaving. Once he stood in the school hall he found Jaemin by his locker looking down at his phone. It occurred to him that maybe he could talk about his troubles to the boy, then again, he never asked to hear any of this. He settled on returning to his locker, grabbing his bag and heading home for the day.

 

“Oh, Renjun, are you going home already?”

 

He turned to see Jaemin walked towards him from a few lockers down, wearing a big smile on his face. ‘How can someone be so happy and carefree?’ Indeed, Renjun could not believe that the other was always so happy and cheerful every day. It seemed to him that to achieve that kind of happiness, you needed to have everything in life that you need and want. From his point of view, Jaemin had everything he could ever want and need.

 

“Yeah, I finished my classes, so I figured I would go home and work on some stuff.”

 

“Ah, Injunnie, always trying to improve yourself. Why not have some fun? I was going to head to the café around the corner and I’d love for you to join.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, besides, I think we should talk about something. So, will you spend time with me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

The two signed out of school before heading off to the café; one of Jaemin’s favorites and where he can often be found after school studying. It’s a cute little place; the décor is simple and feels like home. Renjun didn’t think the other would have this kind of vibe, but he enjoyed it nonetheless since his other friends are more outrageous. Once he went with Sicheng to a restaurant, but the setting was so odd to the boy that he wondered what kind of crack the older had been on.

 

“Oh, come here. She’s one of my favorites.”

 

Jaemin dragged the older to a nearby table where a small kitten sat in a pool of sunlight. While the café wasn’t strictly an animal one, they did allow people to bring their pets in and often had a few of their own there for people to pet. The idea was to make it easier on the owners in terms of giving attention while the animals lessened the stress that most people walked in with. Renjun now understood why this was Jaemin’s favorite place to be after school, or even during his free time.

 

“Hey Nishi.”

 

At the sound of her name, the kitten turned to face the boys. Right away she ran to Jaemin who smiled so widely Renjun thought his face was going to split in two if he stayed that way. He turned his attention back to the kitten who had made a point of sitting on Jaemin’s shoulder while he set his things down. It was a bit shocking for him to see a kitten sit on someone’s shoulders because as far as he was aware, kittens didn’t do that…

 

“Renjun, this is Nishi. Nishi, this is my good friend Renjun, but we call him Injunnie.”

 

The kitten looked over the Chinese male before letting out a small meow, which sounded much like approval to Jaemin. He smiled again then placed her on the table, so she could get back to her sunbathing.

 

“Do you want anything to drink?”

 

“Uh… Surprise me?”

 

“Alright Injunnie, you’re about to see how good of friends we are.”

 

The two laughed at Jaemin’s statement then he left to order while Renjun began taking out some of his stats homework. He glanced around the room, taking in all the water color paintings that were displayed. It was always a goal of his to be a great artist, so whenever he went some place with a simple but cool aesthetic he wouldn’t hesitate to look around. Those places often had the best art and where he would find inspiration for his next painting or drawing.

 

Renjun sat down at the table with his sketchbook and pencils, gifted to him by Kun for his birthday, and tried to find some inspiration in the room. There were many subjects to choose from while he people watched; a young couple together smiling, a mother and her son standing in line, the animals that roamed around. A slight smile graced his lips as he settled on the mother and son as his inspiration for the day. He got through the gesture drawing and added a few shapes for the body when he heard the sound of Jaemin’s voice.

 

“I know you don’t drink coffee that often, but I can tell you that you’ll really enjoy the cold brew. I asked them to add a pump of vanilla as well; just makes it better.”

 

He returned with two drinks in his hands, setting the cold brew with vanilla in front of Renjun while he got an iced latte. It was a bit shocking for him; how Jaemin pieced together something that he would like. The other noticed the silence but could tell that it was only out of shock and not disgust; Renjun has very distinct facial expressions for every emotion. His facial expression for pure shock usually consisted of large eyes that could make anyone melt within two seconds.

 

“So, the thing I wanted to talk to you about?”

 

“I’m all ears.”

 

Nishi took this moment to move from her spot in the sun and climb onto Renjun’s shoulder. He wasn’t quite sure what he should do, so he settled on petting her head as he listened to the other.

 

“Forgive me for intruding, but I’m starting to think that there’s something going on with you and Chenle.”

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“You don’t really hang out with us anymore, or really any of your other friends. I have an idea as to why that is, but I think you need to say it.”

 

Could Na Jaemin have figured out why Renjun became distant? The honest answer is yes; he’s the most observant person out of Renjun’s friends and often gets mistaken for not being there. He’s always watched the other to make sure things were okay ever since he found out the older had gone through the disease. While he had never been there to witness it, there were plenty of other people in his life who had gone through it as well and the signs were just too similar.

 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“Huang Renjun, you know exactly what I mean.”

 

“What if I do? What should I do? I went through one before and it’s back. I don’t want it to be.”

 

“You need to say it, so you can stop denying it.”

 

Renjun doesn’t like giving out bad news, nor does he like having to face the reality of his situation. On a certain level, he had already accepted his fate because he knew what would happen in the end. The only problem was that he was too stubborn to fix the second flare up so early on. A few times he thought Chenle might be able to return his feelings; that maybe this time he would be happy in the end rather than lying in a hospital bed.

 

“I… I have…”

 

“Come on Renjun, I know it’s hard.”

 

“I have H-hanahaki Disease again…”

 

“Now, I can ask the biggest question: is it because of Chenle?”

 

It took a moment for him to nod his head at the question and thankfully Jaemin didn’t react the way he was imagining him to. He felt his shoulder being tapped and was met with the worried yet sad eyes of his friend. Jaemin had never seen someone like Renjun before; he’d never seen so much suffering because of the disease. While some of his old friends had certainly gone through an ordeal, none of it came close to Renjun. That boy had gone through one year of Hell and re-entered it only a few months later.

 

“What did you do the first time?”

 

“I pushed through it… Until it got so bad I had to have my surgery in the middle of the night.”

 

He glanced at the younger boy who only gestured for him to continue his story. Renjun had never told Jaemin what happened between him and Jeno, nor did he think he would be telling the story at all. It wasn’t the best story, nor was it very exciting seeing as how the end result was them remaining friends. As time went by since then, Renjun realized even more how unfair life can be and that sometimes suffering is the only way to go.

 

“For ten months, I didn’t tell Jeno how I felt. Looking back on it now, I’m surprised I even lasted that long since the disease can take a person’s life after about 4 months. I had my surgery in the middle of the night because I threw up so many roses and lost more blood than I would like to admit…”

 

“Why did you not tell Jeno?”

 

“I thought I would have been able to hold out until he noticed.”

 

Renjun gave a sad smile to the boy across from him, turning his attention back to Nishi for a moment to regain some composure. It wasn’t as though he was going to cry over the incident; however, he did feel remorse for not telling Jeno sooner. Then again, he had always wanted a fairytale ending when it came to love, but love isn’t always kind. Fate is the key and whether it decides to work with you or against you, you have to pay attention before you get blown away.

 

“What will you do with Chenle?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll wait it out, maybe I’ll tell him, or maybe I’ll just get the surgery, so I can spare myself.”

 

“Renjun, why do you wait so long?”

 

“You ask a lot of questions. Well, don’t tell anyone this, not even my parents know, but I’ve always wanted a fairytale ending. If anyone knew they’d say it’s because I watch Moomin and Friends and children’s movies too often. It’s completely unrealistic but sometimes I think it’s possible. I don’t say anything because I’m hoping that maybe, I’ll get that ending that I’ve wanted for so long.”

 

It crushed Jaemin to know the real reason behind his friends suffering; all the months he puts in just to see if he’ll get the good ending. He’s dedicated to being with one person and has a heart of gold, but no one seems to be able to hear him screaming. They hear his whispers, if he lets out any, and only then do they jump in to help save their friend. There were a few exceptions to this, Jaemin realized, as he thought back to some of Renjun’s senior friends. They always stood by him and tried to help him make good choices, though sometimes they couldn’t help him.

 

“I promise, your secret is safe with me. I don’t know if my words will be of any help, but… you’ll always have me.”

 

“Actually, they are. Thank you, Nana.”

 

Jaemin cocked his head to the right, giving the older a strange but amused expression. Renjun didn’t often give nicknames to his friends and the majority of the time only his close friends got them. Na Jaemin on the other hand, received one without any warning; the name came out naturally for Renjun.

 

“Nana?”

 

“Nana; Na Jaemin.”

 

“I like it.”

 

“I knew you would.”

 

The two smiled at each other and their new-found friendship; it warmed their hearts to know they thought so highly of each other. They spent the afternoon and early evening in the café doing homework, chatting, or playing with Nishi. Renjun knew that even though he just admitted many things, Jaemin would be someone he can always count on for advice or to just spend some time with. Jaemin realized that Renjun is stronger than he appears and that what he needs is love. While it is neither of their jobs to make the other happy, they are more than willing to do what they can for the other.