Almost like a dream, this whole trip is, except that it is not.

Because it is real. As real as the woman who has shown us around, pointing to the amazing rock formations and limestone cliffs the place is famous for. Along the course of the boat ride during island hopping, I would close then open my eyes to check if Dara is really with us, that she is not just a vision like what I have had in the past. I keep stealing glances and know the members have noticed. They are trying hard but failing to keep themselves from teasing like we were in highschool. It's funny how chaotic it could get whenever the members and I are together.

I love that my members--my brothers--are with me for this moment. Jaijin and Jaeduck, having met Dara before and the three of them being originally from Busan, helped in fostering a warm atmosphere right off the bat. Jaijin is relaxed around Dara and even showed her pictures of his artworks and his cat Charls. Dara and Jaeduck have talked about Tony, their pets Edworld and Alexanduck, the animal welfare foundation, and Jaeduck's other advocacy works. Suwon always has enviable interpersonal skills, and can get along with anyone. I easily nipped in the bud his attempt to make me jealous with a glare and a mention of yellow card, our code for warning, just like what the referees use in football games.

I was most worried about Sunghoon meeting Dara for the first time because he has a tendency to be overprotective of me, and critical of any woman I show interest in. Needless to say, I worried over nothing as Sunghoon and Dara hit it off instantly. Moreover, it turned out that they have a common friend, a singer named Kim Jaejoong who is signed with the same label in Japan as Sunghoon's sister Yoonji.

Dara looks so at home, in her element. She speaks the language fluently, and confidently interacts with people here, from the personnel at the grocery store to the owners of the establishments we visited. She could order food without the menu, and would show us how to best enjoy the local cuisine. Surprisingly, even the local residents know her, indicating the frequency of her visits and the level of her engagement in the community. They call her by a different name--Sandy--and I think I would never see sand the same way ever again. She's summer at the beach personified.

As our enjoyable trip comes to its inevitable end, I start to second-guess myself again. I have a plan, but should I push through with it?

With every ounce of courage I have, I decided that I'm going all in.

All or nothing.

***
 

If there is one thing I am certain about Dara, it is her love for music. Sechskies' songs. My music. Knowing that she listens to our music wherever she may be is something I comfort my