“Dubu?” Sana whispers, “Are you asleep?”

Dahyun slowly opens her eyes, the world around her losing the red color of blood and slowly turning into the darkness of her and Sana’s room instead. She breathes out in relief, though the remnants of fear still has her heart beating wildly against her chest. “Nightmares,” Dahyun says to answer Sana’s question, hoping that her voice isn’t shaking too much.

Sana stays quiet for a moment. “...I’m sorry.”

It takes a moment for Dahyun to realize for what, takes her a moment to remember what happened at the concert. A new wave of fear passes through her. She glances at her phone, which is still on the bedside table. She turned it off last night, but there’s no doubt in her mind that she has a million messages awaiting her.

“We should sleep,” Dahyun says with a yawn, trying to ignore this fear, and she sounds an awful lot like Sana did last time they needed to talk but didn’t want to. “Tomorrow’s a long day.”

“I’m scared,” Sana admits, voice almost inaudible if it wasn’t for the silence surrounding them.

Dahyun doesn’t answer, maybe pretending that she had already fallen asleep again.

“...Can I sleep with you?” Sana asks quietly, holding her breath. She’s lacking her usual spark and it hurts Dahyun’s heart.

Dahyun moves to the farther side of her bed, leaving space for the other girl.

Sana moves quickly, a shadow in the night, climbing onto her bed and laying down under the sheets next to Dahyun. The younger girl knows that Sana’s probably trying to keep a reasonable distance between them, but maybe she wanted to feel a little less alone that has Dahyun throwing an arm over Sana, pulling her closer, huffing as she does so.

“I-is this okay?” Sana asks, unsure of Dahyun’s actions.

Knowing that she doesn’t know how to answer Sana’s question without admitting anything, Dahyun asks: “You’re usually so confident, why are you being so shy all of a sudden?”

Sana hesitates, but decides to tell the truth. “I know you don’t like it when I’m too obvious.” Dahyun can see that she’s biting her bottom lip nervously.

“You say that as if you like me,” Dahyun answers, and there’s a teasing laugh in her words.

“I do like you,” Sana tells her, but she doesn’t shift around to find comfort in Dahyun’s touch. She’s frozen in her spot. It’s a bit of a role-reversal for them, with Dahyun being the one with her arms around Sana, and Sana being the one hesitating.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Dahyun tells her, sounding distant, or maybe she’s just starting to fall asleep and her voice is drifting because of it. Despite what she says, Dahyun plays with a lock of Sana’s hair, twirling it around her finger, feeling how soft it is amidst the darkness of the night.

“I like being gay with you,” Sana says with a giggle, trying to regain that confidence she usually has in these type of situations. “Even though you don’t want to admit it, I like just being able to be close to you and kiss you.”

“I’m not gay,” Dahyun deadpans, trying to sound completely honest and serious like the liar she is.

“Ooh, back to square one then!” Sana chirps, seeming happy at the idea of a couple more moments where they can kiss without thinking too much about what it means. She really does like kissing Dahyun, loves the rush it gives her. Plus, she doesn’t have to worry about romance.

Dahyun even laughs a bit. “You never change, huh?”

Sana cuddles a little closer to her, settling into this feeling and not wanting to name it. “Nope.”

~

Dahyun’s the first to wake up. She finds Sana sleeping peacefully in her arms, and that’s cute and all, but Dahyun’s arm is completely tense and it’s cramping and it kinda really ing hurts.

“...Sana?” Dahyun whispers, not wanting to wake her up to roughly.

Sana shifts in her sleep, cuddling closer and putting more pressure on Dahyun’s arm as a result. “Mm, good morning, babygirl,” Sana murmurs in a husky voice.

And yeah, she might lose her arm if they keep sleeping like this, but Sana’s turned Dahyun into a blushing mess once again so Dahyun isn’t going to move away.

~

Dahyun still hasn’t her phone.

She’s sat down for a meeting with the company, Sana sitting next to her and holding her hand under the table to keep her calm. But her nerves continue to pile as they wait for the meeting to start. Her phone feels heavy in her pocket. Sana squeezes her hand once, twice, and Dahyun meets her eyes.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Sana tells her, smiling softly.

~

When the meeting ends, Dahyun isn’t sure if that really happen.

Sana seems awkward, and she’s never awkward. “...dating…” Sana says in a low voice. Surprisingly, she isn’t cringing at the word, so that’s progress probably. She’s gonna have to get used to it, too.

“Huh.” Dahyun looks down at their interlocked hands. “This feels a little weird.”

More than a little weird. “Mood,” Sana answers, walking a little faster. “I think I’ve never dated anyone since I became an idol,” she adds quietly.

“Fake dating,” Dahyun reminds her, though she isn’t entirely sure why it’s worth specifying. It’s not like that changes anything.

“Better than fan service, though,” Sana admits. At this point, it sounds like she’s just saying words to fill up the silence between them. “Now I can actually kiss you instead of just pretending.”

“Ah, you got your gay comeback in the end, huh?” Dahyun mentions.

“I’m starting to regret screaming about it for so long,” Sana laughs nervously. “I didn’t think the straights would actually listen to me.”

Dahyun stops walking, turning towards her. “Are you really okay with this?” she asks, and there’s this heartache present in her voice.

Sana’s more than okay. If anything, it’s always been her dream to be an idol with a cute girlfriend who gets to show it off to everyone, but that was never a realistic dream. It’s sorta come true now, but Sana can’t help but wish that they weren’t being pushed together by their company and that this had happened naturally. Now they’re just doing some damage control.

And Sana knows that this is the one time she should be completely serious with the other girl, even if talking about her feelings is a thing they keep putting off, but she doesn’t know how to do that. “It’s not like there’s a better way to do this,” Sana says quietly, noticeably dancing around the subject.

Dahyun nods, looking away. It hurts a bit. “Okay.”

“I’m happy, though,” Sana tells her, opening up just a tiny bit.

“Why?” Dahyun asks, voice cold, distant, and she sounds a little bit annoyed too.

Sana smiles. “What can I say…” Sana grabs Dahyun’s hand and pulls them closer. They’re so close, so close, and Sana already misses the feeling of her lips against hers. “I’ll do anything just to kiss you.”

And then Dahyun is kissing her as if it’s nothing, running her fingers through Sana’s hair and keeping her still. She breathes her in like air, her movements desperate and wanting.

Sana kisses her back, and it feels- oh god, it feels as if Sana needs her, as if she was giving into this feeling and Dahyun was her everything in this moment.

i just went through the shortest writing block ever and immediately sat down and wrote this entire chapter in less than a day. also: whoops, i'm adding all my favorite tropes into this because i write what i wanna read and i hope that's what y'all wanna read too uwu