“Ugh I’m free from that hell! I’m so glad hell week is over!”

“Until finals come around,” I teased Seohee.

“Let me enjoy my freedom!”

“Hahaha, now now guys. Have you guys thought of any groups you want to be a part of? Or any pairs?” Minah asked, casting a suggestive look at me at the mention of pairs. I rolled my eyes.

“Wow, I was going to group up with you guys but I see how it is.”

“Well obviously we’ll group up but is there anyone from class you want to try and work with?”

“Well I wanted to try to work with Minho and Ga-in…” I paused to prepare myself for the reaction, “and I really liked working with Jun last time so…”

“Atta girl, fight for your man!” Minah encouraged.

“Well no kidding! You guys killed it in the partner pairs and you guys had great chemistry on stage,” Su-min added.

“Wow, and here I thought you guys were going to tease me for it.”

“Well I mean-” Seohee started.

“No no! I’m very grateful for your encouragement. Let’s leave it at that,” I laughed.

      Once we entered the studio, the sight reminded me when students rush around asking if there was going to be an exam in class that day. Everyone was a mess, asking around to establish groups before class started. When I looked for the boys I wasn’t surprised to see them surrounded by a handful of classmates asking to form groups. Laughing to myself as I set down my things, a few girls I made friends with came and asked if I wanted to group up with them. I happily accepted and asked them how Jiyoung-sunbae would be deciding on a set list for showcase. Apparently, Jiyoung selects the groups that he finds would work well together and randomly selects which groups get into showcase, but he does make sure that everyone is in at least one other dance aside from the three class dances. It was a bit out-of-the-ordinary but it does work to create a fair mix. We got a maximum of four groups of our choice. When I turned to look for the girls they had already joined the boys who finally had their little huddle dispersed. Going over, they were already discussing groups and the sorts.

“Are you guys willing to be a group of eight again? I know you had a lot of offers already but no harm in asking,” Minah asked, low-key teasing them for their popularity.

“Of course you guys are great to work with, and I guess your dancing is okay. Do you guys have any other groups in mind?” Soonyoung teased back.

“Of course. We just wanted to see if you wanted to be one of them since I guess we’re friends,” Su-min joined.

“Ouch, you know how to wound a man,” Soonyoung laughed, “but I do want to group up with you guys again,” the other boys nodded in agreement.

      After agreeing to group up everyone started to discuss possible pairings, groups, and the gossip of which slackers to avoid. Amongst all the chattering my eyes drifted over to Jun, his eyes trained elsewhere. It was quite obvious that he was looking at Nayoung, just like it should have been obvious that he would want to pair up with her but my mind forgot to consider that. Bringing myself back to reality, I joined the conversation with a silent sigh. Once class began and Jiyong-sunbae sent everyone to finalize their groups, I saw Jun turn towards Nayoung’s direction and I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to be a little selfish and have him look at me instead of her… so I interfered knowing he was too kind to turn me down.

“Jun-sunbae! Actually… I was wondering if you wanted to do a pair with me? I really liked working with you and I wanted to try more with mixing the different styles.”

Jun’s gaze was still fixed on Nayoung but his face fell slightly… just slightly. From the corner of my eye I saw Nayoung walk towards the sign up board with a group of girls and I couldn’t help the short wave of relief that hit me before the guilt flooded my mind. He pulled his gaze from her and turned his attention back to me.

“Of course! You were the top of my list,” he smiled.

      Although his words were comforting, I knew he didn’t mean it. The corner of his lips faltered before he smiled and because just as quickly as he looked at me to reply, his gaze returned to Nayoung laughing with her group members. The girls came to my rescue and pushed me to the sign up sheet to mark our teams. They must have seen the scene unfold, bless them from dragging me out before I had time to sulk. After that hassle was over, class continued and we started to learn the class dance.

      After a few days Jiyong had a finalized list of performances which included us girls in a group, Chan’s group together, and my duo with Jun. The girls nudged me encouragingly at the sight of our pair. Curious about the other groups, my eyes scanned the list to see that our group of eight was not included but Nayoung’s name was paired with Minho. Looking over, I saw her approach her partner happily to tell him that they made the cut. Instinctively, my eyes darted to Jun but his eyes were trained on Nayoung laughing with her partner. There was a dejected look on his face and before I knew it my feet were moving and my voice came out.

“Jun! We're a pair again,” I stated happily as I approached him, holding up a peace sign.

“I didn't doubt it. We are just that good together,” he smiled, nudging my shoulder.

      I didn't like seeing him like that and I was thankful for being able to distract him from that pain. I began chattering away in an attempt to keep his focus on me instead of her and Minho for as long as I possibly could.

“Have you put any thought into a song? I have a few in mind but I don't want this to be one sided.”

“Not really but if you already have some in mind, you can pick the song. I trust you to pick a song fit for the both of us.”

“Do you really want to give me that much power? I could choose something really cringey,” I joked.

“Yeah, but if I have to do it that means you have to do it too,” he shot back with a laugh.

“Ah!...… nah you’re right. I wouldn’t do that to myself.”

      Jun and I continued to chat until Jiyoung-subae called us all back to order so we could continue class. By the time I got home my body was tired but my mind continued to race. Various songs and snippets of choreography flew by as I tried to pick something that spoke for both Jun and I. It was easier to dance when you’ve experienced the emotion that the song is trying to express. While getting ready for bed, I decided to put my “possible-song-playlist” on shuffle in hopes of finding something that clicked with me. Once each song reached the chorus, skip. It was song after song and still none of them felt right. It wasn't until I was in the middle of washing my face did it finally come on. It was just the right tempo to do either style and it had a pretty good vibe but the lyrics are what really clicked with me. It was about the struggle of having to move on after saying goodbye to someone you love, ironic right? Luckily it was vague enough that Jun probably won’t figure out it was from a broken heart and fit both our personalities well; we are both people to internalize our problems and put on a strong front. Excited that our song was chosen, I quickly texted Jun. It took me a moment to realize just how late it was and I wanted to take my impulsive action back but it was too late. The message was sent. Feeling the need to apologize I quickly sent another message right after.

To: Prince <3

I found a song! Look up Taeyeon’s “Fine” on Youtube!

To: Prince <3

I just checked the time and it's pretty late… sorry if I woke you ^^;

To: Hyemi ^^

Nah, you’re fine lol I was still up but the song is nice but bittersweet, I like it. Did you have someone in mind when you chose the song?

To: Prince <3

Someone in mind? Not particularly. I just put my playlist on shuffle lol

To: Hyemi ^^

Oh lol well you should got to bed now though. If I remember correctly you have a morning class tomorrow

To: Prince <3

Awww you remembered my schedule lol that’s better than Jeonghan-sunbae. Well then I’ll be off to bed, good night! Don’t stay up too late looking at pictures of cute animals lol

To: Hyemi ^^

Hey! I’m actually revising notes! But good night to you too

      After placing the phone on the nightstand, the content smile was immovable from my face. Remembering things I’ve told him before, little things like these, they warm my heart and let me forget… just for a little bit. I fell asleep looking at the messages and the next day flew by, I was even on time for my morning class for once. When midnight , it was back to the studio and working on choreography.

“Okay so I was thinking that we should dance a distance away but come together at the chorus leaving a noticeable space between us to show the feeling from the lyrics that there will always be an empty space. Then when the bridge hits we have short little solos and finally come together for the ending. I haven’t worked out any solid choreography yet though so if you have anything to start with by all means share it,” I explained.

“Well I was thinking of trying something like this for the pre-chorus,” he said as he executed a few smooth sweeping movements, “and I was thinking for a majority of the song we could mirror each other until the final chorus.”

      By the end of class we were able to make a clear outline of the choreography and created a solid routine for the pre-chorus. Since this was the first time we actually had to create a full piece I noticed two things about Jun. One is that I really got to see what Minghao meant when he said that Jun lets other people’s styles and personalities overpower his. When we had opposing ideas he would suggest going with my ideas even when his sounded better and I would look at him, confused, before insisting on his. While we were talking I did ask but he avoided the question with a laugh and a vague “it’s a habit,” before he changed the subject. The second is that Jun is really good at acting. He somehow is always able to portray just the right emotions on his face to suit the song and if I didn’t know about his crush on Nayoung, my heart would have been in euphoria to hear that I was at the top of Jun’s list for being partners. It was that believable.

      The only thing I know for certain is that the more I learn about him the more I fall and that is a dangerous game to play. At the same time my mind couldn’t help wanting to know more, so here I am lying in my bed overthinking things rather than sleeping like always. Turning over in frustration, my fingers delicately traced the edges of my phone as the truth of my situation settles in my mind. No matter how excited or giddy I get about Jun, at the end of the night, alone in my room, I can no longer hide from the fact that Jun has a crush on Nayoung. A sigh escaped my lips as I got up to turn off the lights, hopefully sleep will let me hide from it just a bit longer.

      Having to wake up after tearing myself down left me sluggish. That feeling had last me throughout the entire day. It’s been a few days and Jun was starting to pick up on it, so to avoid questioning I needed something to re-energize me for class tonight. Luckily on the way to the studio there is a cafe that is opened until midnight. Walking in, my nose was greeted with the satisfying smell of freshly ground coffee beans and my eyes were greeted with aesthetically pleasing modern decor. The worker had his back turned so I walked up to the counter, looking at the menu, and didn’t pay him much mind.

“Can I get a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso?” I ordered, still not looking at the barista.

“Are you planning on pulling an all nighter after class?” a familiar voice teased.

“Minghao! You work here?”

“Yeah, although I wasn’t supposed to be closing. Mingyu is just lonely and begged me to stay,” he smiled.

“Why do you always have to expose me? - Hi, Hyemi - Let me live Hao,” Mingyu whined as he appeared from the back room with a broom in hand.

      Minghao and I both laughed at the boy as he started on my order. I payed for my drink, explaining I needed to up my energy levels for class, and had a pleasant conversation with the two. As the time grew closer to midnight, I ended up waiting for Minghao to finish and we headed to class together. We chatted about school, life, class, our groups, the works. One way or another though we “somehow” ended up on the topic of Jun… okay, more like I brought it up but you know.

“Hey Minghao, do you know why Jun-sunbae never really… fights? Is that the right word? I guess more why doesn’t he assert himself more when it comes to his own ideas on a piece?” I stumbled on my words.

“You can say it’s a conditioned response from rejected ideas over the years. The finer details, are something you can hear from Jun-hyung but that’s the basic explanation.”

“But his ideas are pretty good! Why would someone turn them down? The fact that he can act along with what everyone else wants for so long astounds me in itself,” I huffed.

“It’s a second nature to him. Jun-hyung was a part of his high school’s drama club, not to mention he was a child actor.”

“He was a child actor?! Well I know what I’ll be doing once I get home tonight,” I laughed.

“I wasn’t supposed to let it slip so you didn’t hear it from me alright?” he smiled.

“The more I learn about him the more interesting he becomes,” I whispered to myself.

“What?”

“I said deal,” I covered once I realized he had heard me.

      The rest of the way to class I learned quite a bit about Minghao. Although Minghao has a cute face he is quite the savage, his favorite target being Mingyu, and he is quite mature. He said that one time when he and Jun went out, an old woman scolded Jun for talking informally to his “hyung”. It’s actually not that shocking to believe to be honest though. Jun is always the energetic playful one when he is with Minghao. I also heard quite a few interesting stories of Jun’s adventures with his friends. A new realization about Jun, that I learned from Minhao, is that Jun isn't one to talk about himself. As I recalled all the stories he told me, he mainly focused on his friends like he was only a background character so before we entered the studio I asked Minghao one last question.

“Why doesn't Jun-sunbae ever really talk about himself? I think I've heard more about you guys then about Jun himself thinking back now.”

“He is just awkward with interacting with others, it just takes some time for him to adjust to you. With his double major he doesn't really have time to socialize, so he doesn't quite get it yet,” Minhao explained before leaning in and whispering to me, “and honestly speaking he doesn't really know how to talk to girls.”

“No way. You're kidding me right? Jun seems like the flirty type plus he and I can hold a conversation just fine.”

“You see it as flirty but that my friend is nervousness mixed with watching too many dramas,” Minghao laughed.

“I can't tell if you're joking or if you're serious,” I huffed.

      Minghao just gave me a knowing smile and shrugged his shoulders before walking in, leaving me to ponder on my unanswered question. Why was it that Jun and I hold a normal conversation if he doesn't know how to talk to girls? Figuring out Wen Junhui is like being in a maze and I keep hitting dead ends.