With how hectic everything was with having to teach Hao the choreography and adapting it to his style a bit - on top of school, work, and helping Jiyong-sunbae with showcase prep - I haven’t had a chance to talk to Jun let alone see him longer than a passing moment. Minghao could tell that I was anxious about Jun and was helpful to ease my tension. He would out Jun’s weird habits, stupid actions or other stuff that could only make me smile. Through this we got closer too. Two weeks flew by in a blur and before I knew it we were running dress rehearsals. Our costume this time were simple jeans and a t-shirt, both white for Minghao and both black for me, paired with a black and white plaid and sneakers. When it was our turn we ran the dance smoothly, the only thing Jiyong-sunbae wanted us to work on is the timing in the end and making sure we know where and when to exit stage. With that we went to clean the ending as instructed but every time we were off by a few counts no matter how fast we went. Finally after yet another failed attempt Minghao brought up making a small change.

“How about when we lean our heads back on each others' shoulders we keep our faces turned inward? It’s more natural and gives us that extra count we keep missing.”

“True. If it works let's definitely change it to that.”

“Why wasn’t it like that originally? It would've made things easier way back in the beginning.”

“Before I tell you, don’t tease me about it okay?”

“I won’t make promises but I’ll try.”

“... I couldn’t look at Jun’s face that close without my face practically catching fire.”

      Minghao couldn’t hold it in and he laughed. I playfully shoved him but couldn’t help the smile growing on lips, that’s just how our friendship was like. He is the only person who I could talk about Jun with. Maybe it’s because he’s unbiased when it comes to Jun and I or maybe because he knows Jun like the back of his hand but Minghao made Jun seem like any other friend and not the boy who broke my heart. After running it a few more times with the new change to adjust ourselves, we called it a night since my alarm notified me that class was over. Minghao had finished collecting his things and left ahead of me but as I was grabbing the last of my things my phone began to buzz and the moment I checked it a frown settled on my face. I rolled my eyes and went to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Have you done it yet?”

      Did that really have to be the first thing she said? It would be nice if she could at least build up to it. I checked to make sure Minghao was no longer in the room before answering, my voice falling flat.

“Not yet, the showcase is tomorrow. Two days. I’ll be leaving in two days okay?”

“Okay, two days.” 

      The line went silent for a bit and I was confused. Usually she would hang up if she had no more she needed to discuss but she isn’t? I moved to hang up but her voice came from the other side and I brought my phone to my ear again.

“... I want you to know I’m doing this because I care…”

“Yeah… I know,” I replied softly.

      I just wished you cared about what I want, or at least had faith in my ability to handle my life. The unspoken words floated in my head as she told me to get sleep and eat regularly. All I could muster were half-hearted responses before we said our goodbyes. Once the line disconnected I let out a sigh of defeat. I’ll really be leaving this place in two days… 

“You’re going to leave the class?”

      I snapped out of my melancholy at the sound of Minghao’s question. , when did he come back? I didn’t want anyone else to find out but there’s no use in crying over spilt milk.

“Yeah… that’s just how things turned out I guess. Can you not tell anyone else? Aside from the girls you’re the only one who knows now, I just don’t want any sappy goodbyes.”

“Is there really no way to get you stay? It’s going to be weird not having you here and it seems like you don’t want to leave either.”

“I’ve tried everything I could think of for years. My mother thinks dancing is a ‘distraction’ and isn’t one to listen when it opposes her way of thinking.”

“You won’t tell Jun?” That one caught me off guard.

“Well I really haven’t been able to catch him and we aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment, remember?”

“Once he finds out he’s gonna blame himself for being the cause of you leaving, you know that right?”

“I know, I owe him a lot of apologies and I am definitely not going to add him blaming himself because I left to the list.It’s just a bit harder to approach him right now with all I’ve done to mess things up between us. I’ll find time to though, okay? Now let’s get out of here.”

      With so much going on, telling Jun was the last thing on my mind but Minghao was right, Jun has a right to know before everyone else. He was there to see my mother in action anyways it’s just the question of how? There is so little time and for sure I cannot say it over text, he deserves to at least hear it face to face. Ugh. Let’s just sleep on it, there will probably some time after the showcase to tell him cause we’ll end up running into each other since Mingyu and them will be coming to watch.

      When the morning came there was no bright idea, rather there was just a bittersweet feeling that mixed with the excitement that bubbled in my stomach for showcase. My last showcase that is, and that phone call last night was yet another reminder that this is the end of the road for my dancing. Dragging myself to get out of bed, I quickly freshened up and got ready for the day. There was no class today but I do have to open the store today. Not wanting to go back home after my shift, I packed some of my school stuff and decided to bring it along with my dance bag so I can just chill somewhere to do homework before the showcase. By the end of my shift I decided to let fate find time to tell Jun and if not just find him after the showcase.

“Hyemi?”

“Huh?”

      Before I knew it, I was in the coffee shop with a puzzled Minghao staring at me. I was so lost in thought about Jun that I didn’t realize I was there or that Minghao was speaking to me. 

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked how are you but you don’t seem to be in good shape.”

“Well you know, it is what it is. Regardless, I’m really excited for today though,” I shrugged.

      Minghao reached over the counter and ruffled my hair as he gave me a knowing smile. I gave him a half smile in return. Ugh this is depressing, this is why I didn’t want the others to know. As if he read my mind Minghao changed the topic.

“What brings you over here? The show isn’t for another couple hours.”

“Decided to get some school stuff done,” I stated as I showed him my backpack, “I didn’t feel like going home.”

“Oh okay, so what do you want to order?”

“One chocolate muffin and just tell Mingyu to surprise me with the drink.”

“I might put something weird in your drink,” Mingyu teased from the back area.

“Poison me some other time will ya? I still have a showcase later,” I played along with a chuckle.

      Minghao rung me up and I went to take a seat by the window, taking out my school work and organizing it on the table in front of me. At some point as I did my school work Minghao brought over my muffin and drink. My voice instinctively thanked him as my hand immediately reached for the cup. As I took a sip my body was filled with smooth sweetness that made warmth bloom in my chest. A smile made its way onto my features and a new energy filled me. I got a good portion of my work done when my phone alarm went off. Stretching out after sitting still for so long, I packed my things and waited for Minghao who was also getting off in a few minutes. We waved to Mingyu as we left because as he still had another forty-five minutes until his shift ended. The walk to the studio was filled with pleasant conversation and the distress from the morning seemed like a far away memory although my peace of mind was something short lived. As Minghao held the door open for me and I stepped in, I felt a piercing gaze from across the room. I turned and there Jun was, his steadfast gaze on me while he talked to Soonyoung. I felt squeamish under his gaze so after quickly giving Minghao a hug I scurried off to the girls fitting room. Why was he staring? Why did he look displeased? Don’t get too in your head now, just focus on the showcase and think about it later. 

      The girls greeted me with a puzzled when I rushed in but I just gave them a sheepish grin and they rolled their eyes while waving me over. I quickly changed into my costume for Minah’s piece, which consisted of a pastel blue crop top and white shorts, before going over to Seohee to have her help with my makeup. With all the chaos going around in the girls dressing room, the showcase breezed through until it was our turn. As we all waited in the wings we put our hands together and did a small silent cheer for my last performance with them. This stage was lots of fun with a little bit iness, classic Minah, and as the end of the choreography ended we all looked at each other and our smiles grew even bigger as we hit our ending pose. We quietly cheered on our way back to the dressing room and once we were there we took a moment to relax as the tension left our bodies. For me though, it was short lived. I quickly changed into my next costume, fixed my hair into a high ponytail, and after a few songs I was back in the wings once again.

      The nerves this time were worse than earlier because I was alone in the right wing and this piece held a special place for me. Although I pushed him out of it, this is the first and sadly last full piece I choreographed with Jun. The fear of possibly messing up started to settle in and it felt like Soonyoung’s piece all over again, where I didn’t want to mess up and disappoint anyone. My nervous fidgeting came around once again and my mind was lowkey in a panic. I can’t be freaking out so close to the performance! While I was working on calming down the lights cut out and that was my cue to go but my feet didn’t move. Panic was settling in my stomach until I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. My head snapped to see Jun, I forgot he performed after us. He gave me that reassuring smile that melted away my tension, literally. His lips moved as he mouthed something to me before giving me a push that jump-started my body into action. I turned to him and gave a thankful smile before getting into position on stage. He’s right, I can do this.

      The song started and the lights faded on. My body eased into the smooth almost contemporary movements like second nature, moving closer than farther from Minghao as the song progressed while mirroring our movements. As the bridge came, Minghao came to a stop as I continued to dance, pulling in more ballet styled moves with graceful turns and quick motions with my legs until I came to a halt and Minghao started. Although his solo matched mine with the fluid movements it was obvious that his carried a more hip hop almost swagger vibe to them. Once the precorus came around we danced together until the last few seconds where we stood back to back and as planned we let our heads fall naturally. Sat on stage, leaning on each other for support, faces looking at one another, and as the final “It’s not fine” played Minghao placed his hand on mine before the stage went dark.

      Minghao pulled me up and we both exited stage left and congratulated each other on a job well done once we were in the halls. A few more performances went on before we were all called to the wings for final bow. Jiyong-sunbae gave his typical thank you speech and motioned us onto the stage. He thanked the choreographers and we all smiled and bowed before he thanked the audience and we did our final bow. As everyone was looking around hugging each other and what not my eyes naturally found Jun, at a bad time at that. Nayoung had happily thrown her arms around the male and in the excitement of the moment she kissed his cheek. I quickly looked away and my smile faltered for a moment before it was forced back into place as we finished closing the show. As the audience started to flow out everyone began congratulating and complementing one another. I made my rounds as well, trying to be a part of the happy mood everyone was in and not let what I saw bother me. After a bit I moved away from the group and just watched their happy exchange, melancholy washing over me again. A familiar voice called out to me in excitement, pulling me from my gloominess.

“Hyemi! You did amazing! The8 and you were stunning, I was completely captivated by the emotions you put in this piece.”

“Ah, thanks Nayoung. Your piece was great too, you two really complimented each other,” I responded with a soft smile.

      The excited girl pulled me into a hug that I returned as my eyes wandered to the boy trailing behind her. He shifted uncomfortably, only giving short energetic compliments and thanks but otherwise trying to weave around the bustling dancers. As Nayoung bounced to talk to the next group I decided to leave, my emotions overwhelming me but at that moment my eyes locked with Jun’s. I gave a quick awkward smile and wave before turning to weave through the crowd to escape his unwavering gaze and find a quiet place to calm down. The only place void of people ended up being the theater’s prop room and once I was safely in the room I let out a shaky sigh. Tears streamed down my face as I frustratedly hit the wall. It already hurts that I have to leave such an amazing class, why does it have to hurt when it comes to you too? How long will it take before it stops hurting to see you? My legs felt weak so I let myself fall to the ground and dragged my legs in, finding comfort being curled up against the wall.

“Hyemi, are you okay why did you leave so-”

      Jun? Why was he here? Did he follow me? Before I could process anything I heard the click of the light switch. Before they even had the chance to start up and light up the room I snapped.

“Don’t turn on the lights!” I didn’t mean to sound so harsh so I softened my tone, “I'm sorry just… please?"

      Ugh I didn’t mean to sound so desperate either. I heard the flick of the light switch once again and I relaxed. A scoff left my lips, what am I even doing right now? My head turned to look at where his voice came from, his silhouette outline by the light from the door window. He shifted uncomfortably, looking around my general area… I don't think he can see me. We stayed like this for a moment before he spoke up, concern evident in his voice.

"What's going on? You just kind of ran off stage. Do I make you uncomfortable because you've been avoiding me…"

"No no, nothing like that I promise. We've just been busy, you had to learn new choreo and I had to teach Hao our choreo…"

"Then why did you run away?"

      I'm glad I don't sound as bad as I look since my tears just won't stop. With a sigh I leaned my head back against the wall before taking a deep breath. This is it I guess, no perfect time then now since we're alone…

"I didn't want to ruin the mood. Everyone will hear this tomorrow but after tonight I'm no longer part of the class… I swear it has nothing to do with you and what happened a couple of weeks ago or anything… I mean it really isn't because of you it's just-"

      My god just make it sound like its his fault why don't you? Stupid. It didn't help that as I struggled to explain I felt my voice breaking as I got frustrated at my inability to talk so I just stopped. The tears picking up and a sob growing in my throat.

"...your mom?"

      The soft tone of his voice calmed me down a bit and I was able to swallow the sob that was about to break free. I was thankful that he knew and I didn’t have to struggle to explain because obviously my mind is not in the right place at the moment. 

"Yeah," I said, returning the soft tone.

"I thought she would let you stay since you told me everything was handled..."

"It was. I made a deal with her to let me stay… until showcase. I couldn't let everyone struggle because of me. I was surprised she even agreed to let me stay that long but hey, it worked out in a way I guess."

      A bitter smile found its way to my lips as I tried to clean the endless tears that flowed from my eyes. We finally had a normal conversation again… but it had to be in this type of situation.

"Hyemi I-"

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want any sad goodbyes… so please don't start."

“Okay, okay.”

      There was a small hint of his usual playfulness in his voice and oh how I’ve missed it. My tears increased again and we stayed in silence for a while. Since tonight felt like the night to pour out my deepest feelings I called out to Jun once more.

"Uhm… I'm sorry for making you abandon our dance. It wasn't fair to make you quit something we made together. I’ve done a lot of selfish things recently that ended up affecting you and I’m sorry for that too.”

“Stop with the ‘I’m sorry’, you’re always saying that. Although I will accept the one for deciding to end our partnership since that one was a bit mean but you  don’t have to apologize for how you feel. You don’t have control over that Hyemi.”

“Then thank you for understanding and agreeing to my requests all the time. Also thank you for being here for me… ”

      His playful edge was coming back and it was better than any method I tried to do to calm my tears. A small smile came to my lips as I finally just let myself enjoy his company without any worries. We stayed in this comforting silence for a bit but it was getting late and the boys will be looking for him soon. I asked him to tell the others that I won’t be joining the party this time round and asked for a bit of time to be alone. Although he hesitated he agreed and left. After a few minutes I left the room as well. When I left there were only a handful of people loitering about taking a bunch of photos. I quickly snuck to the bathroom to clean off the runny makeup to make myself more presentable before going to the dressing room to grab my stuff and I was pleasantly surprised.

“Su-min…” I called out, voice getting tight and my eyes getting teary.

“We knew you would get emotional after the show. Minah and Seohee are waiting at your place come on,” she sighed as I wrapped her in a hug.

“Did I ever tell you guys how amazing you all are?”

“No but I’m sure Minah would love to hear it, ” she laughed.

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A/N: Oof so I'm back from my long silence! I was planning on updating everything after I've finished this story but I'm struggling a bit with the last chapter so here is what I have so far ^^; Please look forward to the last chapter!