A few days had passed since I took care of Soomi and everything fell back into my normal routine… or so I thought. On my way to work after class, my phone rang with a contact I dreaded. She usually wouldn’t call me unless it was something important. Was there something wrong with Soomi?

“Hello?”

“How are you Hyemi? How is school?”

“School is good and everything’s fine mom. You don’t usually call me, is something the matter?”

“I was talking with Soomi while dropping her off at school today. She said that you were dancing again…”

.

“... It just happened that way, but-”

“I thought I told you to stop doing things that waste your time? I’m not paying for your college tuition for you to fool around. Quit,” she sighed.

“But mom I-”

“No buts, just do it.”

“... yes mom…”

      At that, the line immediately cut off and the breathe trapped in my throat was released with a sigh. Letting the energy drain from me, dropping my arm back into my lap, my head turned to watch the cityscape pass by. So many thoughts were going through my head but the one I was certain about was that I wasn’t quitting. I’m practically an adult already and I’ve been fine with balancing dance, work and school… Ugh there it is. Everytime stuff like this happen, where my mother and I don’t see eye to eye, there is an annoying feeling of obligation in the back of my mind. Ever since dad left, mom was never able to look at me the same and she became stricter than she was before. No matter what I did there was always disappointment in her eyes and I ran myself rigid in a desperate attempt to make that change. It wasn’t until I started college did I realize that that look will never change because she can only see my father’s flaws in me. It didn’t help that I acted out the first year of high school either…

      My mind was brought to reality as the bus came to a stop and people started to board. I quickly collected my things and got off as I realized it was my stop. Since I was already running late, there wasn’t really much time to simmer in my frustration. That didn’t stop it from interfering with my work though. I may or may not have nearly dropped the dishes three times while busing tables and may or may not have been forced to take my break early…

      With my break I took the time to organize my thoughts. This class has done me more good than harm. It gives me time to let loose and relax, be me and not have to worry about work or school. The people in class always give a calming effect because they’re all nice good people who are pleasant to talk to and although this reason is a bit underhanded, this class is the one thing connecting me to Jun. It would be regrettable to to let go of it. Like yeah I see him outside of class because we have similar friend groups but the groups rarely gets together as a whole and we aren’t close enough for me to personally invite him to hang out just because I want to see him. Plus what do we talk about? I was luckily able to make decent conversation because when a silence started to come along I brought up class. It’s fine. I’ll just keep going to class and mom wouldn’t know a thing. She rarely checks in on me anyways. Su-min has been telling me that I need to start taking my life into my own hands and stop trying to compromise to make others happy. Okay… Good pep talk.

      After I finished collecting myself, it was back to work for me. For the first fifteen minutes Seungkwan and Jisoo-sunbae were literally watching me like hawks to make sure I was really okay. Thankfully the rest of my shift went by with no more instances and after intense reassurance with half baked answers, Jisoo-sunbae’s and Seungkwan’s concern was dispelled although they were still skeptical. On the home from dance class I told the girls who reassured me that there was no way my mom would be able to find out if I continued classes or not. That eased my mind for the rest of the week… somewhat. At least enough to keep my focus in check. Regardless, the thought of getting caught lingered in the back of my mind throughout the day making the week feel longer than normal. It also made me self-conscious. Were people able to notice my unease? Was I making it obvious? The girls were able to subdue my mind for the most part, telling me that no one around me has acted any differently thus not realizing it, and all was well. Today though there was an unexpected change as Jiyong-sunbae called us together in the middle of class.

“Hey guys, I know that there are only two weeks left till showcase so you’re all working hard to make sure you do well on stage but due to some personal reasons class will have to end here for today. Also there won’t be class tomorrow either,” he explained.

      There were a mix of responses, some cheered silently to themselves while others grumbled in frustration. As everyone went to collect their things, Jiyong-sunbae called out to the girls and I. He needed to leave as soon as possible and entrusted us with the spare key to lock up once everyone is gone. He also asked if we could spare some time to clean up a bit either today or tomorrow. We gave him our word and shooed him to go to his emergency. By then most of the class was already gone with only a few stragglers left, Jun and the others being some of them.

“I have a brilliant idea. How about doing some cleaning today and squeeze in some more practice since we would have the whole studio to ourselves?” Su-min whispered.

“Well I, for one, am definitely down for that,” Soonyoung replied.

“That is if you’re willing to let us practice too in exchange for extra hands,” Chan added.

“How long were you four eavesdropping?” Minah teased.

“Since we saw Jiyong-subae give you guys the key,” Minghao answered.

“Well we can’t refuse help with cleaning so deal,” Seohee smiled.

      Su-min assigned rooms and roles to make the cleaning go faster and since I was assigned to clean the biggest room, she decided to put Jun with me to help. I know for a fact this was her playing matchmaker and I wanted to be mad at her but I couldn’t when I couldn’t even stop myself from smiling. Since our room is the biggest, they left the key with us in case we took more time to clean up. We also agreed not to wait up for one another, Minah’s matchmaker attempt I assume because she shot me a wink. Although it did work out in her favor since Su-min and Seohee both have curfews at 2 am the latest. After everyone got the game plan we broke off into our separate rooms to clean. It took us a little over an hour to reorganize and tidy the room. Throughout our cleaning the others one by one popped in to give us a heads up that they finished and were heading out. I was thankful for Jun not only for the extra set of hands but also because he made it fun. Don't get me wrong, he did clean but somehow he was able to goof off and be productive at the same time. By the time we finally finished cleaning only Chan and Minah were still practicing. We ran through the dance a couple of times and I felt like my execution was a lot stronger than it has been but as we were running it again, Jun let out a sigh and stopped the music.

“What’s up? Why did you stop the music? Was I messing something up?”

“No your execution was clean but are you okay Hyemi?”

“Never been better, why?”

      I threw in a smile to seem more convincing but how did he figure out? I’ve been like this all week and he didn’t seem to notice at all, or did he and he just never said anything? Jun stared at me for a few seconds before returning my smile with a half smile of his own.

“Your feelings are kinda off. It’s like your dancing is just movements rather than motions that tell a story. Are you really sure you’re okay?”

“Yes Jun. I’m fine,” I laugh.

      He paused for a moment before walking to turn on the music again but when he hit play our song wasn’t playing. I gave him a questioning look but he just smiled and slowly walked towards me.

“Uhm I think you have the wrong song,” I playfully say.

“Nope, we are going to have a change of pace.”

“What are you even-”

      Before I could finish my sentence Jun started to mess around, breaking in to various weird dance moves. By then he was in front on me and I couldn’t help but break into a smile with a roll of my eyes as light laugh escaped my lips. Once he finished he pointed at me as if it was some type of dance battle but I only shook my head with a laugh.

“I’m not of to freestyle.”

“Come on,” he urged.

“No I mean I can’t. I really can’t.”

“You can. You just don’t want to,” he stated, reaching his and out to grab mine.

      He began to twirl me about and letting the music take control, making jokes and just being goofy. Out of the blue he grabbed me from behind and spun me around, his chuckle reverberating from his chest. I squealed in surprise and began to laugh. It was as if all the tension left my body and any worries were nonexistent in this moment. We danced through a few more songs before we called it a night.

“I can't remember the last time I had that much fun.  I think that was the hardest I ever laughed,” I panted.

“Well I'm glad. Whatever is ‘not bothering’ you, you'll figure it out,” he said as he draped his arm over my shoulders, giving it a comforting squeeze.

      In the moment I leaned into is embrace, laying my head on his shoulder. We stood there for a moment before I snapped myself out of it and broke from the side hug. Jun had asked Jeonghan to pick us up since it’s late and he was closing anyways. When Jeonghan was on the way, we cleaned up our things before checking the other rooms and locked the studio up. As we were waiting for Jeonghan, we began to chat. I was in a good mood, because of the fun from earlier, so I was more playful than normal. We started to crack dumb jokes and fool around to the point we didn’t hear the faint clicking of heels on the pavement slowly getting louder. It wasn't until the clicking was heard from right beside me. Instinctively my head turn towards the noise and my face was met with a burning pain that streaked across my cheek. My eyes snapped in anger at the culprit just to have it extinguished just as fast, the sinking feeling of dread taking its place.

“Get in the car. Now,” mother demanded.

      At her sharp tone of voice I flinched, shrinking back, before stepping forward to follow after her. As my foot moved to take another step forward, Jun grabbed my wrist. Turning to meet his worried and confused gaze, I gave him a defeated smile. My hand moved to remove my wrist from his grasp but not before giving it a reassuring squeeze. I allowed my touch to linger for a moment before I let go with a sigh and followed after my mom to the waiting car. Before climbing in, I pulled out my phone and texted Jun a short message.

To: Prince <3

I’m sorry. Explain later

      It was a long silent car ride back to my apartment, the tension heavy and suffocating. In the apartment was no better as mother took a seat on the couch, motioning me to sit across from her in the armchair before going straight to questioning me.

“Who was that boy?”

“No one.”

“Well you were alone together with ‘no one’ pretty late don’t you think?”

“He’s just my dance partner and friend,” I snapped.

      She shot me a glare at my outburst, surveying me up and down, testing to see if I would continue to bite back. She thinks I went back to my second year of high school… she can’t see past that, back to being “like your father.” The thought made my blood start to boil but I lowered my gaze in submission before I get into more trouble than I need. Especially with what I’m about to ask but before I could she cut me off.

“We can go back to the boy later, but didn’t I tell you to quit that waste of time? I had to hear from Mrs. Yoon that she saw you late at night with a group of boys leaving a dance studio. How do you think that makes me look?”

“I’m sorry. You did tell me to leave but I want to stay, I won’t let it interfere with my schoolwork. It’s something I enjoy doing and helps me release the stress of school and work. Also the classes are free so-”

“I did not waste my money to pay for this apartment or your tuition for you to play around as you please. Especially not after I had to argue with that vexing man to get his help to pay for your college fees,” she spat before grumbling on under her breathe, “that good for nothing who only cares for himself… barely caring about his own daughter.”

“It won’t interfere with my school work, it hasn’t thus far and I’ve been doing it for half the semester already. Let me stay in the class.”

“No. Your priority has and always should be school. Why are you fighting so hard to stay in that useless class? Is it because of that boy I saw earlier? Hyemi if this is-”

“No! It’s not because of him,” I snap, “Why can’t you understand that I’m not going back to my second year of high school?! I’m never going back to that…”

“Well bad habits die hard. Look at your father, he always promised that he would quit travelling and sometimes he did but he went back to it in the end.”

“Just because he couldn’t give up his dream doesn’t mean he ever stopped caring for us. He could pay for as much of my fees as you wanted but he always texts me when he can…”

      My father wasn’t a bad man but because of his passion he hurt mom and the hatred was evident in her piercing glare.There’s no point. She won’t listen and when she brings up dad the conversation goes no further. She still hasn’t even tried to understand why I acted out in my second year… We are both reaching our snapping point and if I keep pushing, things for sure will not end well. I at least need her to agree to let me stay at least until the end of the showcase.

“I will leave the class then, but after two weeks. Until the showcase.”

“No with all that time you’re wasting with dancing and boys you could be studying.”

“I can’t abandon my responsibility to my group members. It wouldn’t be fair to force them to fill the space that I would leave last minute. I swear, I’ll stop once the showcase is over. No dancing, no boys, no distractions. Just my studies.”

      At this point I was begging her. I refuse to be a burden to everyone else just because of my own personal issues. I couldn’t burden everyone because of my personal issues and it wasn’t easy either. It took a lot to bite back my pride when I prided myself in handling everything with my head held high. Mother’s expressions showed that she was debating it, her eyes scanning my demeanor to see if my words could be trusted.

“... Fine but I expect you to keep your word this time. Do I make myself clear?”

      I silently nodded and she acknowledged my answer. Checking the time, mother excused herself but not before running through the generic “take care,” “don’t skip meals,” “don’t over work yourself,” etc. I walked her to the door and one she was gone it was as if my lungs could finally breathe again, my body slumping onto the door to for a moment to collect myself. Running my hand through my hair with a sigh, I dragged myself to the bathroom to wash up before crawling into the warmth of my covers. It’s hard to think that all that fun and laughter with Jun was only an hour prior to this moment… the weight that was slightly lightened had gotten ten times heavier now… Oh yeah, Jun. He’s probably asleep by now but I should at least let him know that I’m fine.

To: Prince <3

Hey, I hope you got home safe. You’re probably asleep but everything is fine on my side, sorry for the scare ^^;

To: Partner ^^

Hey, I’m still up. Yeah I got home fine but are you sure you’re okay? What was that back there?

      It shocked me that he was still up. Well now thinking about it he didn’t know it was my mom, just some lady that I ended up getting into the car with… yeah he has reason to be concerned. Is it bad to say his concern made my heart flutter? No Hyemi snap out of it, it’s because you’re friends.

To: Prince <3

A bit stressed but other than that I’m perfectly fine. I realize you probably didn’t know but that was my mom. You can say she isn’t the most supportive of my extracurriculars hehe…

To: Partner ^^

Why is that? Do you want to talk about it? I’m up anyways so we could talk.

To: Prince <3

… Could we? BUT I wouldn’t be a distraction to your paper would I?

To: Partner ^^

Lol it’s fine Hyemi. I did offer to so don’t sweat it.

The next moment my phone rang and Jun’s con appeared on my screen.

“Hey there.”

“...Hey… Is your roommate okay with you talking so late?” Hyemi you idiot.

“Haha, it’s fine. I pulled in a favor from the RA so I’m actually in the lounge right now. As long as I’m not screaming I think we’ll be fine.”

      A moment of silence fell over us. The only thing that could be heard was the faint typing on a keyboard from his side. I didn’t know where to start, what to bring up and Jun probably didn’t know either. Or maybe he did because he was the one to break the silence.

“So if your mom isn’t all that supportive of your dancing were you able to work things out?”

“Yeah, everything has been dealt with for the most part. She’s just concerned that dancing would make me act out again, like back in my second year of high school.”

      , the second part wasn’t supposed to come out. Damn my sleep deprived brain. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about. I think Jun caught on because of my abrupt silence because instead of asking me about it he teased me instead.

“Wow, Hyemi was actually a bad kid in high school?”

“I never said I was a good kid,” I laughed softly.

“So was this what got you in a funk for the past week?”

“Huh? You noticed?”

“Yeah but I didn’t want to get into your business or anything and upset you but after a week I reached my limit; I had to do something. And you tried to tell me ‘oh no everything is fine’,” he mocked.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to be a bother…”

“Your problems are never a bother! We’re friends after all. Plus you get special priority because your my partner.”

“I’ll remember that next time.”

      For the first time after my mom left I let myself smile. We talked more but it was only briefly because I ended up falling asleep on him. Ugh I hate this. I hate the fact that Jun could so easily sway my mood. I know he has someone else he likes, it echoes in the back of my mind every day, yet why is it so hard to stop myself? Everytime we talk I’m always learning new things about him and I fall for him more and more each time. His sleep-filled voice etching itself into my mind, feeding my imagination of all the possibilities of hearing that voice. In more phone calls, in the same room, mere inches from my ear as we are face to face. His arms around me and his heavenly smile adorning his face. My hand reaching out to brush his hair from his eyes as he pulls closer… no, stop it Hyemi. *Sigh* even in my dreams I know better, typical.