“HOTSHOT SARANGHAEEEEE!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as the love of my life, Hotshot was performing.

Today is their comeback performance. All of the members looked stunning and awesome but my eyes are only focused on Sungwoon oppa.

The oppas bowed and gave us wide smiles.

I’ve been supporting hotshot ever since they debuted. Honestly, many of my colleagues are not really aware of their existence. What I love about them is definitely their talent. All of the members are good dancers and singers. They can also produce decent music. They are also handsome it’s just that when they debuted big artists also had their comeback. I’m the same age as the members of the group. I worked as a barista in a coffee shop near the place that they worked at that’s why I knew them.

Aside from working, I’m also handling the first and officially accredited fan account of Ha Sungwoon. I met Ha Sungwoon a couple of times when I asked their permission in opening a fan account for him. I’m in charge of promoting all of his activities and in turn he looks at my camera every time they performed and he gives me passes for his events and fan signs. He was a very nice idol to his fans and I was really fortunate to have met him. I don’t know if it’s just because he still not known by majority of the Korean fans but he’s really different from most idols. I’m really thankful that I got to know Sungwoon both as a celebrity and as a person.

Hotshot went on hiatus for a while. I honestly felt empty not seeing them constantly. I’m focusing on my work now while doing the book I’m working on for months.

Fr: Ha Sungwoon

Annyeong Aira-shi, Can you drop by our training room tonight after your shift?

To: Ha Sungwoon

What for? I can drop by later but I’m working overtime, is that okay?

Fr: Ha Sungwoon

Yes sure, can you also kindly bring us our usual order?

To: Ha Sungwoon

Okay. I’ll see you later.

I was anxious with what Sungwoon said. I’m not used to him contacting me using his personal number because usually it was his managers or s texting me if they have orders or if they needed me.

After I finished my shift I went to their agency.

When I entered I saw Juno, Taehyun’s fan site admin. I was a bit disappointed seeing her. I honestly thought Sungwoon wanted to personally meet me but turns out this is a fan site matter.

I gave them all the 9 coffees they ordered. Sungwoon handed me the payment and helped me in distributing the drinks.

“Take this, this is for you Aira” He said smiling.

“Thank you” I said taking the drink.

“Come with me” He said smiling

“Where are we going?”

“To the rooftop”

“Why? Can’t we talk here?”

“We can but I don’t want anybody disturbing us”

“Okay”

I was actually very nervous while we were walking to their company’s rooftop. I don’t even feel a bit giddy because I have a feeling what he has to tell me is a bit serious.  It was so serious that he has to pull me out from the others.

We sat in one of the benches and I waited for him to say something.

“so…” I started

“We’ve been on a hiatus for a while right?”  He asked

“Yes I know that” urging him to continue

“It’s been some time since we’ve debuted and honestly the result is a bit frustrating. So we came into a decision”

My eyes went round when I heard what he said.

“No no no. Please don’t tell me you’re deciding to disband” I said with a little bit of tears welling in my eyes.

“No it’s not that Aira. We may not be famous but were not planning to disband.” He said quickly dismissing the idea of disbandment.

“Then what do you mean?”

He handed me his tablet that showed me an email.

“Congratulations Mr. Ha Sungwoon, your application for Produce 101 Season 2 has been approved. Please report to YMC Entertainment on Friday for the initial meeting and interview.” I read the email loudly

“You’re joining produce 101?” I asked shocked

“This is the only way. I love my team and if this show can help us get our name out there then I’ll do it”

“I’m guessing Juno is here for the same reason?”

He nodded

“Taehyun and I decided to join the competition because for us this might be the last. I wanted to tell you personally before you see the teaser or the show. I don’t want you thinking that we were unfair”

“Thank you for telling me Sungwoon-shi. Don’t worry I’ll support you in your journey just like I always do. Just do your best and whatever rank you have or how far you can go in the show, I’m still going to be a proud fan”

“Thank you for all the support Aira. I really appreciate it. Honestly up until now I still don’t understand why you picked me but I’m eternally grateful for you”

“If I tell you, I’m sure you won’t understand. Just do well in the competition and I’ll do my best in making people vote for you” I said smiling.

“One more thing Aira” I looked at him expecting an answer

“What is it oppa?” I saw him look up and debated on what he wanted to say next.

“Nothing let’s go back it’s getting windy here”

After our talk, we both went back to the dance studio where we saw the others messing around. From the outside you can hear Hojung’s loud voice and TImo’s laughter.

We all part ways an hour after.

“Sunbae, do you want to have coffee before going home?” Juno asked me when we were in the elevator.

Juno was my junior in high school. We’ve known each other ever since then and she also got into Hotshot because I introduced the group’s music to them.

“Sure”

We started talking when our drinks arrived.

“Unnie, I’m taking Sungwoon oppa broke the news to you”

“Yes he did”

“How did you feel?” She asked with her voice shaking a bit

“I felt bad. I honestly didn’t know he felt that way. I love their music so much and it does pain me every time they got overlooked in music shows. I’m hurt that he has to join a survival contest just to prove his worth again”

“I understand unnie, I do feel the same way. I have no doubt that both he and Taehyun oppa can make it but I felt sad.”

“I wanted to cry earlier but I don’t want to burden him. I’ll just do my very best in supporting him in the competition”

“Me too. Let’s do our best to vote for them and make sure they get in”

It was not long that Produce 101 started. Sungwoon and Taehyun’s audition made a huge buzz in the internet. People started to get curious about the duo from Ador and Able. Sungwoon’s fan account originally has 1,200 followers but after that episode aired, it became 15,000 and it has been growing up until now.

@HaSungwoon: Thank you for all your kind words, just a bit of a reminder this account is not personally handled by Ha Sungwoon (a member of Hotshot and a trainee in Produce 101) this is just a fan account he acknowledged and has an access to. Hope you guys continue to support Sungwoon and If there are questions, I’ll try my hardest to answer.

Regardless if it’s his real account or not, his fans continued to follow. The same happened to Juno’s fan account.

The first ranking, I was surprised that he didn’t place that much higher because of the number of fans who were interested with him but I’m happy he still has a safe spot in the competition.

I have multiple accounts in voting, I even use my friends and my family members’ cell phone numbers just to vote for him.

Juno was a bit devastated when Taehyun didn’t make the cut but she’s still as proud for him as ever.

“Unnie, Taehyun oppa said that you should go to their practice room tonight”

“What for?”

“He didn’t say anything. Maybe it’s related to Sungwoon oppa”

I went to their agency and brought them their usual orders.

“Hey” Taehyun greeted when I entered

“Why did you want to meet me?” I asked him while secretly looking for Sungwoon.

“Sungwoon wanted me to tell you that he wants you to watch the finale live”

“I don’t think I can watch live again oppa” I told him with all honesty.

Taehyun’s elimination traumatized me a bit. I’m scared that once I watched live again, Sungwoon wouldn’t make the cut.

“He won’t end up like me Aira. I have a lot of faith with Sungwoon. He’ll make it.” He said reassuring me

“Do you think so?”

“I know so. Sungwoon would want his fan site admin to be there to document his final live show with produce 101”

And with that he convinced me to watch.

“The number 1 is… Kang Daniel! Congratulations” Boa announced.

After that I knew we lost. The only spot vacant is the 11th and right up to this moment Jonghyun, Dongho, Samuel, Sewoon and Sungwoon is still there.

I glanced at Juno, Taehyun who was also as worried as me. Were all losing our minds with anxiety. Even if I don’t want to think about it, I’m already losing hope. I don’t know if he’ll get in. One thing is for sure, Whether he gets in or not, I’m very proud of him already.

“The 11th place belongs to… Ador and Able, Ha Sungwoon”

After she said that I felt tears started to pour out of my eyes. I can see from the trainees section that Taehyun was also crying.

It was a very emotional moment for all of us. Juno and I were holding each other crying tears of joy. I was on the phone the whole time with Junhyuk who was with the other members of Hotshot. I was a bit sad when they said they won’t be coming to the finale. I understand where they are coming from. I knew that they just wanted to make sure that there will be no bad reviews or bad reactions towards Sungwoon who is still in the competition.

We went backstage after the emotional finale. Taehyun was introducing me and juno to random trainees we passed by.

Sungwoon was still with his family so I stayed farther in the room listening to Taehyun bicker to some of his ‘Shape of You’ groupmates.

“Hey” He said smiling when he saw me

“Congratulations!” I told him happily

“Thank you for all of your support. I hope I didn’t disappoint”

“You didn’t oppa! I guess I have to handle a lot of your sasaeng now, Wanna One member Ha Sungwoon” I told him teasingly

“Whether I’m Hotshot Sungwoon or Wanna one Sungwoon, I’m still the same Sungwoon you met before you know” He replied

“Why did you invite me here? This is for your family oppa” I asked him confused

“You are a member of my family of course you should be here” He said cheekily

“Oh right haha I forgot that you treat your friends as family” I corrected almost immediately

“You’re wrong. You’re not just a friend to me Aira”

“What do you mean?” I asked confused

“I like you. I wanted to confess a lot of times. I wanted to tell you when we finally win first place but I can’t do that since we never won first place. I tried a lot of times to confess but I always end up backing out. The night on the rooftop I wanted to tell you but I chickened out again. This was my last hope. I told myself that if I enter the top 11, I’ll confess to you even if you don’t like me back”

“This is your day not mine. You should be celebrating but why am I the one who feels like I hit the jackpot”

“What do you mean?” He said not getting what I mean.

I laughed at how cute his confused face looked.

I smiled at him before giving his cheek a kiss.

“I like you too”

It took him a couple of seconds before it sunk in to him what I just said and when it did he spun me around.

Taehyun was passing by when he saw this view.

“Finally?” he asked in which Sungwoon nodded.

Taehyun squealed like a teenager making us laugh.

“You finally had the balls to do it!” he said happily

“She’s finally my girl” Sungwoon said smiling widely while putting his hands around me making my face flush.

I have never felt safe so safe until I was wrapped in his arms.

I really can’t help but feel like this was just a dream. If it was, I really don’t want to wake up.

Sungwoon has been my dream. It has been my fantasy to call him mine.

And now, I can finally say Ha Sungwoon is mine and I am his for as long as he will allow me too.