Haera

Our mother died giving birth to me. Zhang Yixing said that our father got depressed after that. He started to be abusive. He used to hit us, him, mostly, all the time for no apparent reason. That’s the only reason Zhang Yixing left me at the orphanage years ago—to save me from our father. He left home after that, wonder around, trying to survive by himself. He went homeless for a couple of months until he found a job that gave him shelter and food. When he had enough money to study, he starts juggling school and work at the same time.

            “Do me a favor and go find someone else to fool. Ain’t no one’s gonna believe that,” Jongin snarled with an irritated look in his face.

            Mom hissed at him, telling him to shut up and be respectful.

            I feel empty inside.

            As I stare at Zhang Yixing right now, the longing that I have for my real brother was gone and replaced by something else. I was too stunned to even stop Jongin from spitting bitter words towards the other guy in the room with us.

            Here he is, very real and sitting across me, my real brother. There’s a feeling of familiarity in him. Like, I have had met him a long time ago. That, somehow, we’re related to each other. The missing piece of my puzzle was found, but it can’t seem to fit in at all.

            “Here’s the thing,” Jongin said as he stands up, “if you’re here to take my twin, I’m not letting her go with you. I don’t care if you’re her real brother or not. You know why? Because the moment she was left in the orphanage and became my sister, I swore that no one can take her away from us.”

~*~

Jongin and I went to the university together with Zhang Yixing the next day. Jongin had no choice but join us, because he doesn’t want to leave me to Zhang Yixing. Regardless Jongin’s strong protest, Mom let Zhang Yixing stay with us until he finds a new flat near the university.

            With a scowl on his face, Jongin walked silently with Zhang Yixing on his left, and me on his right, wrapping his arm protectively on my shoulder as if someone would take me anytime.

            “I hope the university rejects him,” Jongin whispered furiously.

            I kiddingly slapped his chest. “That’s bad, Jong.”

            Zhang Yixing will process his transfer in our university today. He majors Dance Performance like Sehun and Jongin, which made my twin brother even more furious of him because Zhang Yixing is in his 2nd year—and that, basically, makes him Jongin’s senior.

            “He left you at the orphanage and showed up all of a sudden, because he has nowhere to go. Who’s the bad guy now?” His gripped on my shoulder tightened.

            “He has his reasons,” is all I can say quietly.

            I thought I’ll cry myself to sleep last night, but, instead, a lot of questions in mind kept me up all night. I just stared at the photo that Zhang Yixing gave me—it was my newly-born self and my mother right after giving birth to me, a few minutes before she died because of losing too much blood.

            I got my mother’s eyes. The rest, I think, is from my father. Despite of what Zhang Yixing has told us about our father, I can’t seem to hate the man. He is my father after all. Zhang Yixing has no news of him, whether if he’s still alive or already dead—no one knows.

            Zhang Yixing offered to take me to my class, but Jongin promptly objected to that and said that he’ll take me to my class instead. And since none of them seems to acknowledge my opinion as I keep on saying that I can handle myself, they came to an agreement that both of them can take me to my class today… much to my dismay.

            We’re crossing the pedestrian lane from Film building to Playwriting when I heard someone calls me from the building. I turn around and see Junmyeon waving at us, behind him is Minseok who stopped abruptly from walking, looking so bewildered to see us.

            Junmyeon nods at me before turning to greet Jongin. My eyes stayed at Minseok who got left behind, still wearing a shocked expression as if he’s been stupefied. A first, I thought he’s eyes were directed at me, but then I turn my back to see Zhang Yixing wearing the same expression.

            “Minseok hyung, what are you doing there? You were the one who dragged me to greet them so you can check on Haera,” Junmyeon shouts at him.

            As if someone woke him up from a bad dream, Minseok blinked, then shifted his gaze at me. He started walking to us, eyes shifting back and forth to me and the man behind me.

            “Who’s that with you?” I heard Junmyeon asks Jongin.

            “No one.”

            I slapped Jongin in his arm. I faced Junmyeon. “This is Zhang Yixing,” I said, just when Minseok came, “he’s my real brother,” I warily continued.

            I saw how Minseok’s cold stares went to angry ones in a snap.

            “Your… who?” Junmyeon asked with a furrowed eyebrow.

            “Haera,” Zhang Yixing called me. I turned to him and see fear in his eyes. “I’ll go ahead and leave you with your friends. I’ll see you later.” He forced a smile at me before turning to the men in front and bow at them.

            “How about never,” Jongin annoyedly whispered as Zhang Yixing took his leave.

            About to express disapproval to my twin