"You were unsure which pain is worse... the shock of what happened or the ache of what never will."

Smack.

You know how people say that when someone stares at your lips is because they are interested in you and they want to kiss you? Well, that's not true. I sincerly advise you not to do it, unless you are a hundred percent sure that the other person wants to kiss you too.

My eyes went wide when her palm connected with my left cheek, leaving an aching sensation and making my eyes glassy.

I grabbed my now burning cheek and glanced at her. She was red, I wasn't really sure if it was because she was blushing or she was angry, but her left hand was over and her eyes were wide open.

Shock was the only emotion I could comprehend at the moment, which later turned to a cold feeling in my lower back. It felt as if a bucket of extremely cold water entered my nervous system and stayed there stubbornly, not wanting to go away. This reminded me of the feeling when you were a kid and you did a bad thing so you were scared when thinking about the scolding your parents would give you if they found out.

My mouth went agape as I tried to form a coherent sentence but no noise came out, so I just stood there grabbing my cheek as tears fell from my eyes. Not that I didn't deserve it but yeah I kinda did.

I knew at this exact moment that I was on the verge of ruining my friendship with her if I don't come up with an excuse good enough for her to believe.

Why would I want to hide myself again now that she might get the idea that I like her? It is basically the same thing as a confession, but less shocking of course, and all this time I was planning to confess right? So why would I want to run away?

Well, that's because guessing by how she reacted she'll stop taling to me altogether and I couldn't bear to lose her. I can't imagine a future without her so that's why I need to find an excuse as fast as possible.

I wanted to tell her something like, 'oops I slipped haha sorry' or something stupid but instead I rapidly stated the following: "Kissing strengthens friendships!"

"What?" She asked, lifting her gaze, looking at me as if I was out of my mind. 

What type of excuse is this? But in all seriousness, it's not that bad.

"Did you know? There was a study done by a University, I don't remember the name, but it stated that kissing between friends strenghthens the relationship," I rushed out while stuttering a little. "So I kinda thought that, you know, we are best friends and we have a pretty solid friendship but I wanted to be even more close, that's why."

I laughed nervously while scratching my neck, avoiding eye contact with her.

"So you kissed me because you wanted to strengthen our friendship?" She asked and I winced quietly.

"Yeah, that was the idea," I mumbled. 

It wasn't.

She hummed as a response and I quickly glanced at her. She wasn't red anymore but her face was kind of stoic, that might be a good sign, right?

"You really get the weirdest ideas, honestly there's never a boring moment with you," she said while sighing and then giggling a little. "Don't tell me the reason you were all weird is because of your need to strengthen our friendship?"

I half-smiled as a response.

We stayed silent for a moment, I was now looking outside the window, grabbing my elbow and pinching it as I tried my best not to cry.

"I'm sorry."

"For what? I should be the one apologizing," I stated as I watched Sowon run down the yard. What the heck is she doing?

"For slapping you," she stated while I followed Sowon with my gaze. "You took me by surprise and I didn't know how to act, that's why I just slapped you. It wasn't my intention to do so..."

She kept on talking but I stopped listening. I was more focused on what Sowon was doing right now. She was shaking her arms as if she was greeting someone, while Eunha and Jackson trailed behind her.

"... because, I'm not really sure if I should be asking this but, I've always got the vibe, but you like girls right?"

I froze.

What is she talking about? How did the conversation turn from kissing strengthens frienships to the fact that I like girls? No nevermind, I kinda get why this may come out as a topic in this conversation and well, she's not wrong, but I didn't expect that I'll have to come out to her after all this mess. Truly nothing ever works well with me.

Too much silence is also an answer, so that's why I have to face her and tell her the truth now, since I just can't keep on hiding it anyways, but just when I was going to turn around, something caught my eye.

Sowon went to hug someone, and when they moved away I clearly saw who it was.

"Yuju," I whispered.

"I'm sorry?"

I ignored Yerin and got closer to the window. It was definitely her, but what the heck is she doing here?  Not that I mind, but her coming here makes a great excuse so I can get away without answering the question.

I felt Yerin stand behind me and when I glanced sideways at her she had a sour look on her face. Now what's her poblem?

I glanced back to see what Yuju was doing. Coincidentally we locked eyes and she smiled at me while waving her hand. I waved back while blushing, not because I like her but because she caught me staring at her.

"I need to go and say hi," I said as I backed away from the window and walked outside the room. I was at the door frame when I felt Yerin grab my hand, stopping me from going forward.

"Is she more improtant than me?" She asked with a low tone of voice. My brain couldn't comprehend isntantly what she was saying so I just sputtered a quick what. My hear was now beating rapidly.

"I said, fine, you can go and greet her but we're still having this conversation," she let me go and I glanced back at her, with her back facing me I couldn't see what expression she had at the moment. "Coward." 

I stopped on my track to glance at Yerin, who still had her back at me. I shook my head and just turned around and headed towards the backyard, pondering on what she said or more exactly what she asked.

'Is she more important than me?'

I blushed.

Honestly, I didn't know what I would've answered her if I heard her correctly at the beginning but I don't know why she changed her mind and stated that instead. I was already outside when I ran towards Yuju jumping at her while enveloping her in a bear hug. She laughed and I smiled.

"Less than a day has passed and you already miss me that much?" She jokingly teased me and I hugged her tightly.

"Shut up," I said shakily.

After bottling up my emotions with the conversation I had with Yerin, the warmness of the hug I felt with Yuju made my emotions let loose and I started crying. Silently so Sowon and the others wouldn't notice that I was crying.

"Are you okay?" She whispered in my ear and I shook my head. "Do you want to get out of here?"

I nodded. She turned in a way that my face was hidden so the others didn't realize I was still crying, placing her right arm around my shoulders, she turned her head sideways and giggled.

"I'm gonna be borrowing her for a bit," she stated, to who I presume Sowon was, while smiling. "I have something I need to talk to her about, won't be too long. I'll bring her back safe and sound."

I couldn't understand what Sowon said but I guess she was okay with it cause now we were walking towards her car. I was expecting to be the car she drove when we went to play paintball but instead I was now infront of a motorcycle.

"Hop on," Yuju said while grabbing her helmet and giving it to me. I quickly wiped away my tears so I could put on the helmet and the others wouldn't see my tear-stained face.

"What about yours?"

"I don't have an extra one, so. But your safety will always come first," she said while I sat on the bike and hugged her from behind. "Lets go."

I glanced towards the house and I saw Yerin standing on the porch, glaring at us. When our eyes locked, she immediately turned around and walked inside, slamming the door shut.

I grimaced.

I grabbed onto Yuju tightly as she sped down the street. I thought about what recently had happened and tears started falling down my face. I'm not really sure what hurt the most, the fact that I kissed her or the fact that she doesn't look at me the same way as I do by how she reacted. But most imporantly, Yerin is right, I'm a coward and I need to stop running away whenever I have to face my own feelings.

------------ 

Hiya.

Guess who's back? Yes me.

Well, the reason I took my time and didn't update another chapter is because jsut after graduating I started working and now I'm studying at a University so I've been really busy. But I've been checking from time to time aff, and some people were asking me to update this story as well as Trust No One.

It's not like I completely forgot about this, actually I've been rewriting them, specially my first fanfic called Falling for the Opposite since my writing style wasn't that great.

Funny thing is that, I came up with the idea of the chapter after going out with some of my friends in which they jokingly said that kissing strenghtens friendships and we should have a kiss of four people (mind you we were three guys and me). We just laughed it off and I got the idea of naming the chapter and adding it to the story cause I use that too with my friends (we joke around with these type of things) so yeah.

I think this is considered a sad chapter but you can't get everything you want in life so that's why I decided to write it as it is. Besides, I really like realistic things and based on my experience things won't change and people won't accept their feelings in a sudden outburst. Oh, also remember that sinju is a tag too, I wonder if it should be sinju instead of sinrin hmmm. Since I'm still not sure how the story will end, so I might change a bit or two.

Anyhow I was laughing throughout the writing of this chapter. Well mainly because of the kissing strengthens friendships and on the first draft instead of writing motorcycle I wrote bycicle so I pictured Yuju pedalling as fast as she could while Sinb was trying to hide her face so the others wouldn't see her crying. Funny.

I'll probably write the next one when I stop having this writing block (another reason why I stopped updating) which mainly affected Trust No One and Star-Crossed Lovers cause I know the ending but I don't know how the story will develop to finish like those endings. Anyways.

I really appreciate those who comment. I like comments. I hope you like the chapter! And thank you for subscribing to the story!

See you.

I love y'all

- Lu