Genre: F/A

Word Count: 1812

 - Admin Ania 

“I know you have chronic depression and I know that you think you are a lone. You’ll never be alone because I’ll always be here.”

He didn’t say anything to me for a few moments as I looked into his eyes; dull with no shine in them like they used to. My heart ached to see him in so much pain, all the words that were said to him I wish I could take so that he wouldn’t feel this way. For as long as I’ve known Wooseok, he’s always been there for me. For better or for worse I could always count on him to be the one I cried to, laughed with, and share memories with.

Now that he’s the one crying…I realize how much it must have hurt his heart to see me be so upset and unhappy. I don’t know what I can do for him other than be there and comfort him when he needs me, or even when he doesn’t. There is nothing in this world that would get me to leave him. I’ll fight for him and I’ll fight alongside him because he is the one person in this world that gives me strength.

“Kim Wooseok look at me.”

He did as I asked, his eyes rolled up to meet my gaze. 

“Have you been taking your meds?”

Said male shook his head, his black bangs ruffled and fell in his eyes as he did so.

“I told you to take them.”

“That doesn’t mean I’ll listen.”

For a moment I saw the faintest hint of a smirk but it was gone just as quickly as it had shown up. Though it was only for a second, I saw the Wooseok that I knew before all this had happened to him. I cupped his face with my hands, letting my thumbs his cheeks gently, I could feel the weight of his head sink into my palms. He was exhausted; I knew that much for the time being. 

“Shinie it’s for your own good and you need to sleep…”

His head shifted slightly as his eyes slowly met mine in what seemed like one of the saddest smiles I’ve ever seen. Deep down I could see how crushed he was but he’d never let anyone other than me know how much it was hurting him. I can’t say for certain but I sometimes think a part of him has been killed off to the point of it never coming back. The possibility of this being true is hard to think about.

If I’m being completely honest, I love Wooshin. I’ve had a crush on him for years but never told him because I figured he didn’t feel the same way about me. I tried dating other guys but I always ended up back with him holding me and calming me down. No one has ever met my expectations, no guy has ever met my standards fully, and no guy has ever made me feel so secure but so unhappy at the same time. Wooshin is the only one I can say for certain I could die happy with.

“Y/N…hey…you’re doing the thing again…”

His soft deep voice brought me back to reality, shaking my head before looking back at him with clarity. On his face was a bright smile with a small hint of sadness that couldn’t be pushed away, but nevertheless it was a smile. I blushed instantly and let go of his face, trying to get my things together so I could leave; the situation had gotten awkward and I let it get that way. Within a second his smile was gone and was replaced with a deep frown as he watched me pack in a rush.

“Stop.”

He held my hand firmly in his signaling me to stop in my tracks and stay but I was too embarrassed. All of my instincts told me to leave before I made things worse because I can’t risk losing my best friend over my awkward behavior. A part of me wondered then if he knew I loved him but I shook it off immediately. He wouldn’t like a person like me, I’m plain, just ordinary. He’s an idol with his whole life ahead of him while I’m a small-town girl who’s got nothing to her name.

“Wooseok let go. I can’t stay.” 

“Yes you can stay. Y/N I need you right now…please don’t leave me…”

I didn’t understand why but tears were forming in my eyes as I avoided his gaze and kept mine on the floor. We stood in silence for what felt like ages but I eventually had an answer for him.

“I’d never leave you, not in a million years.”

He was quick to fire back at me but he had all the right to do so.

“Then stay…please…”

I sighed heavily as I thought over my options; the first option, I could leave him at home for today and come back tomorrow, or the second option, I could stay here and make an even bigger fool of myself. My heart was choosing the second while my brain was choosing the first. Never fall in love with your best friend, it will lead to feelings that can’t be separated between caring and wanting to take advantage.

“For you, I’ll stay.”

My bag hit the floor with a quiet thud and the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor with Wooshin cuddling me. His head lay on my chest and I saw a smile break out on his lips as he hugged me warmly. Geez, this kid. I ran my fingers through his red locks, they were still as soft as I remember them being when we were kids. I love how his hair glows in the sunlight and when his laugh is added…I swear it’s my favorite thing in this world.

“Y/N. Thank you for staying. You’re the best friend anyone could ask for.”

Damn didn’t that hurt? Though I already knew he and I were just going to be friends, nothing more would ever come out of this. While my heart sank I played along, smiling brightly down at him. On the inside, I felt like my heart was being stabbed but I didn’t want it to stop…it’s weird to say but I needed to feel the pain so I would remember. I needed to keep myself in line with him and this was the only way I could. 

“You’ve always been there for me, I can return the favor.”

My voice got quiet as I tried to stifle a sob but I wasn’t fast enough as my chest shook rather violently. Wooshin sat up with such speed I thought he was going to take off his own head. His eyes filled with concern the longer he looked at my face. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, the flood gates had opened and I’d allowed my heart to feel something that it shouldn’t have. My body shook as I cried and the embarrassment got worse because he wasn’t looking away from me.

“W-Wooshin s-stop…”

I’m pretty sure my face was as red as a cherry tomato but even when I asked him to stop looking at me he didn’t. His eyes were glued to me and I could feel the intense but worried gaze wondering.

“I s-said s-sto—“

I couldn’t get another word out before he planted a kiss on my lips. It was quick but so soft and gentle. That was the last thing I had expected from him, he’s my best friend and he’s an idol so what’s he doing? I was happy but at the same time I didn’t know why he’d done that…his career is now on the line if this gets out.

“What are you doing?! You’re an idol!”

His eyes were glued to mine as he stared down at me with equal but different intensity. What was this kid going? Was he wanting to ruin his career? I love him but I’m not compromising his happiness for mine.

“You really don’t get it do you?”

“Get what?”

Wooshin pulled me up to stand in front of him, his arms wrapping around my waist smoothly. I felt my stomach drop to the center of the damn earth as he pulled me closer to his body. A very bright and evident pink blush bloomed in my cheeks as I tried to keep eye contact with him.

“It’s you. It’s always been you.”

“Are you…saying…what I think…you’re saying?”

He let out a laugh that filled his chest and fill my ears like a song, I missed his genuine laugh so much. I didn’t know what to expect from him, for years I always thought my feelings were one sided but maybe…maybe that wasn’t true. 

“I’m saying what you think I’m saying. For so long I wanted to hold you but I didn’t think you liked me. You would always go on dates with other guys and..part of my heart would break whenever you came back crying. Forget my depression, if you’ll have me then that’s all I need to get by.”

I let his words sink in for a moment, taking plenty of time to make sure that I understood what he was saying to me completely before I responded. He must have figured that was what I was doing as he didn’t bother me about not talking. He waited patiently, and when our eyes met he knew what I was going to say but wanted to hear my words.

“I’ve been waiting to hear that from you…So yes.”

Wooshin broke out into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his cute little face and hugged me with all his might. I laughed at how cute he was acting and remembered I had been crying. I tried to wipe my eyes but he beat me to it as he ran a soft thumb under my eyes. He left his hand on my cheek and I let my head fall into his touch.

A chuckled escaped his mouth as he watched my eyes close and my lips for a smile. Needless to say we had both missed seeing each other happy. Truth be told it had been years since we felt really happy but now that was going to change.

“You are the light of my life and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Then make up for lost time wild fox.”

“You haven’t called me that in ages.”

He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to mine in a sweet but innocent kiss. I lilted my head a little more and pulled him closer to me, I didn’t want to let go. He smiled into the kiss but followed my silent request to move closer. His fingers ran through my hair softly then he pulled away to look me in the eyes. 

“You know why I need you in my life?”

“Why do you need me in your life Wooshin?”

“I need you because I love you.”