I stayed on that couch as much as possible. But eventually I had to go to the funeral. It was like going to hell. Everyone there made me sick. I just wanted to see her one more time, alive, smiling at me as I sang in my room. Watching me dance in front of the fridge reflection every morning before school. Knowing I would be home late because I needed somewhere to practice. 

I stood over her casket looking at her beautiful face. Even dead she was looked like an angel sent by God himself. She was my guardian angel. She protected me from the dark dark world that I had once lived in.

My mother and I didn't speak. We sat on opposite sides of the room, made sure we weren't even near each other. She had put me into this life, and now look where she was, watching me from a distance, dissapointed. 

I had Jin pick me up and drive me home. I sat in the truck not saying a word.

"Taehyung, please."

"Jin, I told you I want to fall asleep and never remember today ok."

"Tae, that's not how this works. You have to remember the bad times to have good times. Trust me ok. Everything one day will be better and you won't even remember what your life was like today." 

"Just stop momma Jin."

He smiled at that making me feel better. Him and Joon were always going to be mom and dad for us. Better than my mom and dad were. 

When we got home I grabbed my crutches and hobbled over to the couch. I would have gone to my room, but I