so please let me find you and now i was riding my car in this busy city only to look up for her , i put down my americano and my phone vibrates , i take it , it’s dara noona? I pick the phone up while looked up to the road , i didn’t focus on the road and i looked up and sadly , i found a girl standing in the middle of the road and i almost hit her !! gosshh now she knock down the asphalt , ! I throw my phone away and get out of my car to check the careless girl, damn!
“damn you , why so careless , where’s your eyes! What if i hit you and you die?” i chided while trying to pull her up , make her standing up and facing me ,
“sorry.....” she just say that line curtly and looked down the road ,i see blood on the asphalt but not a lot , her elbow injured since she wearing a T-shirt i hold the hand of hers , why i feel something weird ? this hand........ and that voice , my heart thumping loudly untill you can feel it , my heart feels like jumping out of my body, weird....... i tliting her chin up so she had to look at me, and ............ BANG!
! I felt a hundred knife stabbing me all over body ,
I’m happy but sad
I was......... i don’t know
Idiot
jerk
i find her in the bad way , i almost killed her. Oh lord i find her.
He hug her in no time without any hesitation , he hug her really tight , she didn’t notice it was him , her jingyo oppa , she couldn’t refuse the feeling she had inside that she missed him too
she need his warmth and embrace , so she prefer to stay at his embrace and ready herself to get stressed , she knew it was him by his gesture , it was him , the man she avoiding so much , the man she afraid of , now he hug her really tight make her knee feels like falling down and have no strength , make her shivering hard , her tears fall free from her eyes, she can’t hold it too long , he can’t resist the feeling he had on his chest , he was so delightful with this,
he was so pleased , he almost cry but he know she always hate him if he cry over something ,
“l.....llet......m..me.................go” he didn’t even budge , not even an inch
“please............. i’m begging” he can hear her breath , she beg with her very soft voice ,
with no time, he let her go , but still holding her shoulder tight , as he let her go, she quickly trun her face away and looked down ,
“chae this is me , jiyong ... and you know what? I came here just for you” he smiled and try his best to make chaerin looking up but it seems useless and helpless ...................... he take a deep breath and pondering what should he do next, beatitude, anxiety , sadness , love , pain it’s all mix one onother inside him , he really can handle himself for not to explode
“let’s eat ice cream” he try his best to sound more natural as if nothing happen and as if hewas asking her to go out like those old time ............ he just trying to soothe her but again , he got no replies
“hey i see the tears over there, do not cry chaerin , look at me , i’m not cry eventhough i really want to cry , i don’t mind people will notice me i don’t mind as long as i’m with you!” he can’t stop his feeling from falling , he was so happy now , he smiling widely to her but she was with that sad expression , it’s stupid to ask her wether she want to eat ice cream but , he won’t scare her away he won’t make her cry
“leave me alone please ....... kwon jiyong” she had no strength to push him or even runing away from his tight grip on her , she out of energy because she hold her heavy feeling so hard ,
“no i.........” it’s just GDRAGON who wants to speak up but she cut him off
“shut up! I told you to let me go! You may not like to be with me anymore! Now go ! please!!” she cut him off , she close her eyes and still looking down
“what’s with you hey?! You never reply my messages! Not even a dot! You leave me with no clues , did you know you really make me fall from the highest sky and landed in the bottom of hell? You have no idea how hurt i am now chae you never know! What the hell with that your new guy!! You told me he better than me? huh? Did you think i will walk away and say ‘whatever’ ?! no chae i care for you , too much , and i won’t someone to take my seat in you! no one can ever do!” slowly the tears showed on his face , he wipe it away every tears that comes from the corner of his eyes , he didn’t want to explode now , now he regret that he’s shouting to her , he can feel her shivering under his tight grip , but he is too mad and if he didn’t let it out from his mouth , he’s sure he will just hug and kiss her here , in crowd , but it didn’t mean he hate his job as a great GDRAGON and would give up on it by doing such things , he do considering it too , in the other hand chaerin still looking down but receiving that mad tone of jiyong make her heart injured , she crying inside outside , she can’t take it!
“Leave me alone! I don’t wanna hear your fuss! Ughh i... i don’t care about you” she try to let go of him over and over again
“look jiyong-ssi! i had no strength to fight against you! please let me go!! please please you hurting me , what kind of friend are you huh?!” she still try to let go of him,keep on struggling with all the ways she could, now she looked up and tears can be seen all over her face, she quickly look away avoiding jiyong’s gaze , close her eyes for the very first sekon she decided to loking up , face-to-face with jiyong.
“chae look at me please look at me first!” he hold her wrist , force her not to let go
“i can’t! Jiyong i can’’t see you! let me go! I can’t never ever look at you or anything! It’s all blank to me!! i am blind!!!” that moment , he feels like stabing his own heart with a thousand knife , he feel that pain , his face genuinely look away from her , he can’t believe his own eyes nor his ears , he gawked and covering his mouth , now his tears really coming , he can’t resist it anymore , “so this is her reason? Or there’s more?” he mumbling,if chaerin didn’t inform him that she is blind now , he can’t never know , she looks so fine but her pale face tell everything now.
“h...........how come .............. you.............. how come i didn’t know?” he stammered, shocked.
“jiyong please! If you still look at me as a friend or whatever , if you care for me , please leave now! Please please i’m begging you please leave now!” chaerin burst into tears and fell down to the ground , but being the gentleman , jiyong quickly catch her body but he is now weak too , so they end up knocking the ground together
“what? I come here just for you i’ve been searching for you all this time and you told me to go now?”
“it’s for our own good sake , please............please............” she feel that pain whenever she begged him to leave , actually she just want to keep him but she know she can’t , she just won’t that jiyong guy know everything! He already know about her blindness and she will not let him know about her disease , there’ll be no freaking way!
“haha how idiot you push the people who care for you away......... how could you even doing such things!” he tigthened his grip on her
“looks chae! We’ve been be a best friend since........ forever ...... how can i forget you after all these years? All the memories , seriously chae i’ve never expecting these thing would happen to us i always believe on us, i always believe that we will always together like.........”
“bestfriend............” she didn’t gave him a chance to goin’ on what he was saying
For this time,silence eat them up , jiyong was holding his feeling since the first time he found chaerin, if he’s not that good to holding feeling , he already explode from the first time he hug her really tight , he try his best not become too excessive toward her , he always try to handle everything , actually he really want to hug her and never let her go ever again but he really know his hunchae like forever,he knows her so well but he always failed to understand her feeling, he even have no idea how could he become so unaware of her all this time , he just realize everything now , when he has been suffering , when she leave him and punch him in the heart so badly , he just realize now....................
“if you want me to look at you as my bestfriend like you always do , when i told you to leave and never ever try to finding me again next, please leave me , or else..........”
“looks, it’s not fair , as long as we’ve been together , it’s you who always hate to cheating and mad at me if i play unfair , and i don’t give a about your blindness or whatever happens to you , umm what about another option like .......... i want you to look at me like ummm more than it? more than anything we had all this times , it means....... ummmmmm”
“we’re nothing but friend and it’ll never ever change, you may take you leave if you still wanna be my bestfriend , kwon jiyong” she said half shouting vaguely with her shaky voice and softened in the last sentence , right when she mention his name
“i can’t believe this would happen to us, fine, i’ll leave , you alright by yourself right? Take care always, i realy want to take care of you but i know you wouldn’t let me to do it , i know how much i want to be beside you , you will never let those precious dream of mine become true ..............never” he can’t believe his own ears and mouth ,
“bye ........ my hunchae ....... goodbye.......” he take a step backwards , and another ............
What’s just happen to me?
My friendship? Is this the end ?
My L.........love??? should i end it like this? If it’s a yes , i bet it’ll killed by itself and i’ll live with no love ever again because it’s died already , no this is not what i wanted nor what i need ,
I must keep in fight with those stupid things everyone called love ...........
I must not give up just like this ..................
His tears keep rolling down his face as his eyes become blury , he keep on walk backwards still staring at his so called bestfriend with that cold stare on her prety face , he didn’t believe she is his hunchae , he look at her and never ever looked away , seeing her crying like that.... it just make his eyes wont ever stop it’s tears from faaling, he wiped his tears away , try to be strong and ready himself to fight for his chaerin ,
‘don’t you think i would give up on you chae cause i never would’
“sorry chae i was wrong i take that goodbye and replace it as a welcome” he beamed a smile
“hey you!! i don’t like it!, you make a girl cry hey!”
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