i love youuu baby i'm not a monsteer yeaah i really loved MONSTER kyaaa~

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“ms.bom i’m sorry i think the cancer in the blood system sending literally to her eyes system and make her .... blind” DEG

it’s like pouring salt on my cuts................
“yes yes i know it right huhuhuhu eothokeeeeee” my tears is falling from my eyes i’m on my knees crying ....

“mmm and maybe it’ll be forever........... her cancer is so damn cruel uhmm ms.bom don’t cry i just i just feel like crying to see you like thaat” omooo *___*

“but but doc !!! why ?? why her ?? i still can’t believe that my bubbly rinnie is sick !! she always healt !!! she’s just like my younger sister , we’ve together ever since we meet when we were 13!! Doctor please make her to see this gooddamn beautiful world i cant see her like that i really can’t!!” i held her arms really tight “i’m so sorry .... oh what should we do ?? uhmm i mean tell her about it” doctor looking at chaerin who laid down in her bed “don’t tell her then!!” “as if i can but ms.bom she must know about  her condition”

“yyaah even her parrents didn’t know yet!!i i ... i’m afraid that she’ll get high pressure , she’ll get shocked !” “yes of course she will! Ms.bom we can’t do anything to make her being an old chaerin , i feel sorry for all of you but i’m so sorry i can’t help her with it”

“gimme a minute to thinking about it , doc you may take your leave now , thanks before”

“it’s okay ms.bom just call me if something happen , stay strong will you?!”

I just nodded and smile to her ....

I cry , i don’t know what to do now ... chaerin i’m sorry i can’t help you , as if my eyes fit on you i’ll share mine for you chaee , but i think it doesn’t even fit chaerin ... i i i love you my best friend my little sister , please stay strong okay *sobs* i was crying i hug my knees tightly and yeah just crying ....

“hey princess corn , what are you doing?? There’s a lot empty seat but why in those cold floor...hey” ................ that voice....... i’m still crying,,, even louder!!

“shhh don’t cry!” he sat down beside me placing his palm on my head and caressing my hair gently

“alieeeen” i hug him , leaning closer to his chest , he still caressing my hair .... warm....

“what’s going on hey?”

“alieeeen”

“hmmm”

“i don’t know what to do”

“i know you’re stupid but , can you at last say another words hmm??”

“but i really don’t know!!”

“just tell me what happen yyah corn i don’t even understand what’re you saying”

“chae.....”

“wassup with her??”

“she ....she....she... she said today was dark ... she told me to turn on the lamp....”

“ha?”

“she...she....she....huaaaaaaaaaa” i don’t want to mention that fckingdisease
“yyaaaaaaah you coooorrrrn!! Tell me ppaliii”

“she’s blind”

“..................................”

“yyah!!tabi!” he just keep quieat i know he’s shook , like me ... yeah chaerin is a really nice girl everyone loves her ! she’s so kind to everyone

“...................................”

“i’ve told you before ! i don’t know what to do!!”

“........................bom....you’re right , now i don;t know what to do ..........................................”

“hmm?”

“can i see chaerin?”

“NO!! Yyaah i mean i mean she didin’t know that i uhmm  i always told you everything!! Just wait here ....”

“will you told her??”

“i don’t want to” he held me tighter “shh corn, i understand.... calm down first okay” his arms made a way to my back he hug me very tightly , ..... seunghyun......i....i miss you.....

“ARRRRRRRRHHHH” whats thaat?? I stand up quickly , and run to chaerin’s room but tabi follow me from behind “yyaaaah stay still!! Do not follow me paboo!!” i hit his head lightly “ouch!! But she can’t see me , just let me to see chaerin bom!! Please , uhmm i think you can’t face this with your own , maybe i can help you and maybe just maybe you’ll need me” he grin and walk to me smiling , holding my hand ....

“chaee” i run to her and hug her tightly

“bommie tell me honestly please ..... i’m ... i am ... ah , you know how it feels when everyone trying to hiding something from u .... bommie please just tell me!!! i know somethings wrong here!! Don’t lie to me !! tell me what disease i have on my damn weak body!! I only want to know about myself but why all the people hiding it from me !!! i’m tired bommiee i’m tireed” she shouting really loud i can’t take it anymore i just can crying i don’t have any idea , i’m losing my thought right know i can’t think straight!! Really !! i’m going crazy about this damn!!! I glance at tabi.... o m g is he crying ?? i can’t believe it!! Now i miss him even more............

Chaerin keep crying and sobing , is she already knew??

“chae i’m so sorry....”

“bommieee tell me just tell me!!!!” she cried

“but chae.....”

“i wouldn’t forgive you!!”

“no chaee noo please!!”

“tell me!!” she push me hard!! Ouch , she pushing me !! i can see her swollen eyes !! she’s so pale!! I start to walk slowly to her again ,

“neeh!! Chaee i’m sorry but you’ve the cancer  in your body , it makes you feel weak , that sudden attack , your pain , headache, chaee i’ll tell you honestly now , i won’t hiding something anymore ! the lamp is on , the sunshine can be seen from here, and there’s no glitch in the system , chaee maybe you know what i mean chaee please i’m so sorry but chae no need to worries i’m here for you... i’ll always here with you i’ll never let you alone , i’ll fight together with you chae i promise!!” i hug her really tightly i can feel my wet back , she’s crying ....”chae i’m sorry chae i’m so sorry. as if i can share mine to you i will chaee i will” i start sobbing , breathing heavily

“no bommiee no need to do that , bommiee don’t worry about me , could you please gimme a time for me and myself ? leave me alone here , i’ll be okay bommie i promise you , i just need a couple of times to calm myself”

“chae but .....” “no but bommie pleasee i’m begging you”she smile to me ... i hug her once again and come to tabi , i lock my hands with his , he look me in the eyes , oh god he really crying!!

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chaerin POV

God why ?? i....i don’t know what to do ..... is my disease that dangerous ?? god whyyy ??  i still wanna make my dream make my life , have my own family , have my own fashion factory , god i can’t believe it!! I can’t see anything now ?? oh good !!! i’m useless !!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I scream and crying i don’t wanna be like this ..... jiyong........... i need you really need you

RRRRRRRRRRRRRr~

Damn! Where is my phone i can’t see anything!!! Aaaaaahhhhhhh i’m really going crazy T____T

I start to search for it , it take me so long to find it on my own bed!!

Who’s it ? oh good i forget that i’m a stupid blind girl .... i can’t see who’s calling me ....

I just press the button and place the phone in my ears

“hunchaeee are you readdy ?? where are you now ?? hey let’s have fun chaee i have a surprise for you i’ll make sure you’ll like it !!! ppaliii i can’t wait untill i see you hahahaha”

“.................................”

“hunchae.........”

“.................................”

“chaerin...................”

“................................”

“yeoboseo ... lee chaerin ......”

“jiyong........................”

“hey chae !! ^0^ !!! omg are you crying???  Your voice is .... hahahHahaha i can’t believe it!!!”

“ji.......................”

“ah ndee ?? ppaaaaliii let’s ride a rollercoster chaeeee”

“ji i can’t go to amusement park with you guys,and uhmm and we’ll never meet again , don’t contact me ever again , just forget me ji , i uhmmm i .... i don’t wanna uhmm i don’t wanna see you again,just please forget me ..... bye jingyo.....” i throw my phone to nowhere .... WHAT THE ARE YOU DOING LEE CHAERIIIN???!!!!!

“chaeriiin” bommie unnie hug me, i hug her back i ... i  can’t take it anymore ,

“bommieee whyy bommie whyyy??”

I’m really going crazy now !! how can i do that ??!!! i do really need him besides me when i fell like this , yes he is!! He is the one that i need , i’m okay if god take me so fast but please can i make my day with him ??? can i spend my rest live with him ?? living a happy life before i die ?? can i ?? can i ?? god answer me ?? can i ??!!! yes actually i got nothing!! He is the perfect Gdragon he don’t deserve to living a life like that with me , just taking care of stupid blind and useless girl!! Obv he had a lot of more important, more exciting, more useful activities  than just being with weak girl like me. i don’t deserve him . maybe i need to die faster.maybe i should forget him .maybe there’s still a chance for us ahahaha in your ing dream!! Yes maybe i need to die faster..........

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Seriously ..... what happens here .... i still can’t believe this !! chaerin is really sick , she even blind now , i’m really sad untill i cry .... she just like my real dongsaeng! I can’t see her crying ... i never see her crying before ... i’m sorry i just can watching you from a far chae .... honestly i wanna conforting you but i just can’t  , i see and hear every single things they do , bom telling her , finally , chae ask bom to leave her alone , bom come to me and hold my hands , i’m really feel so sorry for the both of them , i lock my hand with hers , i need to make her feel better , when she texting me before , i’m on my way to picking up jiyong at our dorm but when she send me such a messages i think i should go to the hospital and looking for her , and yes when i arrived she was crying really hard , hahaha this girl . “seunghyun i’m tired let’s have a sit in the waiting room” what? Seunghyun? It’s been a long time she called me seunghyun .... seems like i miss this .... haaha

“what do you say corn ? seunghyun ?? akakaka” i laugh playfully hope that she’ll stop crying and smile again , “who calling you seunghyun??” her eyes become bigger and is curved it’s really cute kekekeke “you call me seunghyun!!!” i push her to sat down “yyah!! When??” she stand up again and face me “just forget it you say that you’re tired but seems like you’re never tired to bickering with me ! i think i’m really handsome and cool untill you always wanna make a mess with me hahaha you really admiring me that much?” i push her again toward the chair “ugh pabo alien!!! You’re so ... ah you’re so .... uhh please understand me right now can’t ya? !! she stood up then sat down again she placed her palm around her face she’s sobbing again oh no pabo yaa!!  “yyaaah princess corn don’t cry i’m so sorry i just wanna make you smile again so i’m teasing you like that i’m really sorry” i sat down beside her and caressing her hair softly , she then hug me “tabi why tabi whyy ?? i’m really going crazy now!! Hear!!! Chaerin is screaming again!! I don’t wanna hear that!! It’s just so .... so painful!!”

“yes corn i really understand it , would you go anywhere with me??”

“hell no !! i need to accompany chaerin here!! Maybe i just need some rest , kajja!! We’re going to see chaerin from a far” she pull my hands and hold it tightly she’s still crying she’s really sad i think

And jiyong........ he’ll so damn sad , he’ll not eaten he will not talk with anyone he will not caring about the people around him , i’m afraid that he will not doing his solo album . ughh yes ofc i willn’t tell him , but yeaah my feelings said chaerin don’t wanna see him again aghhh this is confusing me .... and what if this girl in front of me  turned to be a gloomy girl aghhh i won’t let it happen D: !!! yaaah what am i thinking??!!

“halmeoniii yyaaah help meee open this damn door!!! looks!! Chae holding a knife !!” she scream while trying to open the locked door infront of her , i see through the window , whatthe are you trying to do chaeriiin !! do not do thaat yaaah!! I run to the door with my whole energy my superpower energy “yaaaaah” *BAAK* yess the door is unlocked , i run to chae’s side and then i realize... i can’t do this ..... i can't comforting her aah what a pity nae dongsaeng

Bom run to her and slapped her hand , make the knife fly and landing perfectly in front of my feet fyuuuh~~ she almost killed me !!! bom hugged her and the both of them still crying ...

RRR~~ oh my phone, i take it and open the messages

From : jiyongiee

Hyung!! Where are you??!! I going crazy asihhh jinjja!! Hyung .... chae..... ;___; aah aigoo what should i do?”

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOT??!! Is he already knew about it ?? b ..b... but how come??

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seumdwaa~ how was it ?? ;____; am i doing it right ?? i'm happy reading and reply to ur coment and wallpost ssooo ppali coment guys hihihii gomawoooo~~