She thought that things would have been the same as she had left them. Hand on the door handle, she had mentally prepared herself for the worst possible situation. She had not prepared for the caring Joohyun that greeted her. She expected prying questions, not average conversation. 

     It was all surreal. It was as if she had left and time reversed in her absence. And now she felt out of her element. For one treacherous moment, she felt herself slip. She had been trying for months to climb up this wall, cursing the moment she let herself fall. But she was helplessly falling again, surrounded by pleasant memories.

     She could feel the warmth creeping, trying to pull her back. But she didn't want it. Loving Irene was equal parts addicting and toxic. Being around the oldest left her buzzing, it was pure electricity. However, in her absence things were bland. Why would anyone want to place their heart in another's hands? Whenever she left, it felt like she had taken color along with her. It was frustrating!

"So, long night out?"

     Wendy rolled her eyes. When had she become so irritable? "Yeah, anything interesting happen here, Seul?"

"No. Well, not if you count our 'stone cold' leader moping around for the past week." The pointed look that followed burned.

"Why was she moping?" She should know by now that playing dumb couldn't work out for her.

"You should know why, Seungwan." Seulgi waited for an answer that wouldn't come. "Being silent isn't going to help. It's what go the both of you into this situation."

     Wendy coughed. Of all the members she hadn't expected Seulgi to be so perceptive. "What do you want me to do Seulgi?" She cut off her same-aged friend. "Tell her that I ing love her and watch her break my heart again? Huh? ing tell me!" She could feel tears rolling across her cheeks, clouding her vision. "'Cause I feel like I'm drowning when I'm in the same room as her. And the worst part is that she won't be there to save me! I can't force her to love me. I have to move on." The last part was said with such desperation tears welled up in Seulgi's eyes. The older wrapped her friend in a hug.

"Wan, I know it hurts. You two are both my family, I just want you both to be happy. So you need to know that she loves you too. We have all seen the way she looks at you."

"It's not that simple. I kissed her. I know it was stupid but I... I just couldn't help it. She told me that she couldn't."

"She was probably scared. You know Unnie, she needs time."

     Wendy clung harder, and her voice strained, "I did! It's been months!" The gritting of teeth was audible. "And she didn't say anything. Just silence. I tried Seul, all it got me was nothing. Like I didn't mean a damn thing to her."

     Seulgi wanted to say that it wasn't true, but the words were stuck in with uncertainty. Her best friend was in agony and all she could give was, "it'll be ok."

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     She didn't know when her life had started to spiral into this realm of masks and lies. An hour after her talk with Seulgi, she sat at the table like nothing had happened. A heavy fog settled around the table. The walls were not paper thin, and the others reflected that simple truth. Awkwardness painted on each and everyone's facade. The elephant in the room was more like a snake, curling around them and constricting the conversation. It hissed at her, telling her to leave.

     They kept their heads down, mechanically consuming the food. It was cathartic. She felt so empty. Her hand reached for a beer, the crack of thunder drew curious eyes. One pair swirled with lightning, dared her to drink it. Their eyes connected as she brought the brim to her lips meeting the challenge head on. A clash of the titans. No one dared to interrupt. She parted from the can and Irene's eyes followed. There was no confrontation for her rebellious display. The oldest was obviously disappointed. There were pinpricks of guilt, but she avoided those watchful orbs.

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     Draining her second can of the night, she could still feel Irene's stare. They had migrated to the couches to watch a movie. Her phone buzzed. The text asked of she wanted to go out. She quickly declined, citing the massive hangover she had to suffer that morning. While it did , that wasn't the entire reason she didn't go. She was just so tired.

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Sorry guys but this is a short update. These are all unplanned and so not all of them are consistent. The holidays are here and all so its hard to get writing time, but until next time dudes. Hope everyone is having a good time!