“Hyung keeps texting me.” Namjoon spoke up as he and Hoseok ate in the cafeteria.

“Which one?” Hoseok said through a mouthful of bibimbap.

“Jin.”

“Have you told him?”

Namjoon put his spoon down, his appetite suddenly appeared gone. “No…”

“Joon, you should really tell him.”

“I know.” Namjoon sat back in his seat, his shoulders sagging with the weight of his guilt.  Hoseok thought he had probably wanted to move on from it, but the events of last night had sprung it all back. There was no escaping the truth.“I’m scared.”

Hoseok reached for his hand, a sympathetic smile on his lips. Namjoon had been balling after their kiss. He hadn’t ever seen his roommate in such a sorry state. It made him feel even worse to think he wasn’t as sorry. He didn’t mind ruining his relationship as much as he minded ruining Namjoon and Jin’s. That was someone else's happiness he had destroyed and that left him with an awful guilty feeling.  

Namjoon smiled back, reassuringly gripping his hand tightly. “You should talk to Yoongi too.”

Hoseok pulled his hand away with a frown. “Nope.”

“I know how much he means to you. You at least owe him a conversation.”

“I guess.” Hoseok sighed, spooning his rice.

“He’s probably home right now.” Namjoon added.

“At least let me finish eating.” Hoseok grumbled.

“Deal.”

Hoseok lost himself in memories for the rest of the meal. He recalled Namjoon’s sincere compliments and smiles. The warmth in his stomach from the alcohol and attention. The small kiss that had sparked curiosity and then fear.

Hoseok hadn’t felt it though, he had seen the fear and regret in Namjoon’s eyes but he hadn’t felt it.

I wanted it... He realized.

“I wanted it.”

“Well hello to you too.” Yoongi replied as he let Hoseok into his apartment.

“I wanted Namjoon to kiss me.”

“Why are you here?” Yoongi demanded. “To rub it in?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” Yoongi said solemnly. “Maybe that was the problem.”

“Where were you when I needed you?”

“Where were you when I was finally there?”

Hoseok scoffed. “You’ve always been such a smart .”

“Better than being a .”

Hoseok leaned over him and placed a hand on his cheek. Yoongi grabbed it and kissed the palm.

Hoseok then pulled him into a kiss.

Yoongi kissed back eagerly as if he had been waiting for it.

“Come inside.”

“Okay.” Hoseok smiled. “Can I also enter the apartment?”

Yoongi laughed and dragged him in by the shirt collar. Hoseok remembered with an ache, how beautiful Yoongi was when he was smiling and laughing. When his mouth would open and reveal pink gums and how his eyes would crinkle up and radiate joy.

However much he had wanted Namjoon’s kiss that night, it could never compare to how much he wanted Yoongi’s happiness.

“You slept together?!” Namjoon choked on a boba. He pounded at his chest until he finally swallowed.

“Yeah.” Hoseok ducked his head, his face red.

“Wow.” Namjoon breathed. “I just...I didn’t expect that.”

“Our relationship is complicated.” Hoseok shrugged. He didn’t quite know how they had made up either. One moment he was admitting to wanting to commit adultery and the next he was committing it.

“I can see that.” Namjoon replied, his eyes still a little wide.

“Your turn.”

“Well mine definitely won’t end up in make up .” Namjoon shook his head.

“Honesty is the best policy.” Hoseok said, taking a sip of his green tea frappe.

“Death is starting to sound nicer.”

“You’ll be okay. I’m here for you bro.”

Namjoon gave a weak smile. “Thanks.”

They finished up their drinks and walked out of the school cafe and to their dorm. As they made it to the door, Jimin stood outside with his hands across his chest.

“Jin hyung was working so you’ll have to do.” Jimin said as they all walked into the dorm.

He shoved wedding invitations in Hoseok’s face.

“Already?” He pushed them away. “Have you guys even set a date?”

“Just pick a color.”

“White and gold looks nice.” He replied.

“Thanks.”

“Hey listen I’m sorry about movie night.” Hoseok told the boy as he took a tally on his phone. “You guys got affected over what happened, and that wasn’t cool.”

Jimin looked at him, suddenly pink. “Oh...uh. Well we thought something was going on with you and Namjoon, that’s why.”

Hoseok and Namjoon looked at each other.

“Did something happen?” Jimin looked at them with his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah.”

Jimin’s jaw dropped. “B-but, Yoongi and Jin hyung?!”

“Yoongi knows.” Hoseok explained. “We talked it over and we’re fine now.”

“Really?”

“It was just a kiss and we were both drunk. I told Yoongi right away too, so I think being honest about it helped us.”

“And you?” Jimin glanced at Namjoon.

“I haven’t told Jin.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t…” Jimin bit his lip. “I mean Yoongi is pretty chill, but Jin hyung...well he gets mad if someone looks at his food for too long. I can’t imagine what would happen if someone looked at his man, not only that but kissed him.”

“You’re right.” Namjoon nodded.

“No Joon, you said you would tell him.” Hoseok cut in.

Namjoon sighed.

“So are you guys okay?’ Jimin looked between the two.

“Of course.” Namjoon smiled. “Hoseok just missed Yoongi is all.”

Hoseok agreed. While he loved Namjoon, it remained at the friendship level. The kiss had been a curious feeling, but nothing more.  

He then ruffled the boy’s hair and left out the dorm.

“You know hyung, I heard moving in helps relationships.” Jimin spoke once Namjoon had left.

“Moving in?”

“Yeah, you and hyung were super close when we all lived together. Maybe you guys just need to live together again.”

“I would be able to see him more.” Hoseok nodded.

“Exactly.”

“You’re so smart Jiminnie, consider me your man of honor!” Hoseok grinned.

“Position taken, but you can be the flower boy.”

“Sounds fitting.” Hoseok made a V shape with his hands on his face.

Jimin smiled.

Hoseok couldn’t wait to bring it up to Yoongi. Jimin was right, moving in seemed reasonable. They could eat, bathe, and sleep together. He missed their nightly cuddles in bed, dearly too. This could also help move their relationship to a more serious level. He wasn’t ready to ring the wedding bells just yet, but maybe...someday.

“Sorry we couldn’t go out.” Yoongi said as he and Hoseok sat on the couch in his and Jin’s apartment.

“It’s okay.” Hoseok cuddled Yoongi closer as the TV played some mindless variety show. “I like this.”

“I like dates like these the best.” Yoongi admitted.

“Really?”

Yoongi nodded.

“Of course you would say that! Lazy bones!”

“Is this lazy?” Yoongi pushed him down and kissed him deeply.

Hoseok pulled away and sat up. “Yoongi I was thinking…”

“Hm?”

“We should have more time like this.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s a way we can.” Hoseok continued.

“Yeah?”

“We should move in together.”

“Oh.”

“You wouldn’t have to room with Jin hyung and we could see each other more.”

“I like rooming with Jin hyung though.”

“You don’t want to move in with me?” Hoseok frowned. He had hoped Yoongi would be more excited.

“This is happening too fast, no? Is this because of Jimin and Taehyung getting married?”

Hoseok gaped. “No, its not! This is about you and me!”

“I like where we are right now.”

“We were just fighting!”

“Exactly and you think we’re ready to move in together?”

“I just think it would solve a lot of problems.” Hoseok replied.

Yoongi shook his head. “Sorry, Hobi, but I don’t think I can right now.”

“You don’t think you can or you don’t want to?”

“Both.”

“Coward.” Hoseok then stood up and walked out the apartment. He held back tears when he realized that Yoongi didn’t even call after him. As he walked down the street, he felt stupid.

Why had he even tried?  

It was too soon?

But Yoongi never believed in spontaneity.  He was a self-disciplined, unromantic, dull, monotone--

Hoseok sighed as he hailed for a taxi.

Why do I even bother?

Hoseok walked toward the garden path that led to a side entrance to the dorms. Most students would use this if they needed to smoke or make out in privacy, seeing as security would rarely patrol there.

Hoseok didn’t typically like to use this path, but seeing as he didn’t want to be seen in his red, blotchy tear-streaked state, he used it. He fiddled with the key card in his pocket as he walked along the path, the chirping of crickets and rustling of bushes making him grow anxious. He quickened his pace and was halfway to the entrance when he heard footsteps.

The black haired man turned, fast. It wouldn’t be unusual to bump into another student on his way back from smoking weed or drinking soju, but it frightened him to the core when he saw there was no one behind him.

Maybe they ducked into the trees? Hoseok reasoned. I mean who wants to get caught coming back from doing something illegal?

Still, he hurried along faster, clutching the key card in his hand. The footsteps resumed and seemed to match his pace. He stopped and whirled around.

“Who’s there?!”

Crickets answered him.

Hoseok breathed, hard.

You’re losing your mind, Jung Hoseok. And it’s all stupid Yoongi’s fault.

He rubbed at his face then continued on his way. As soon as he did, the footsteps did too.

Hoseok broke into a run, he could hear the footsteps thundering behind him but he didn’t dare stop now.

He swiped the key card and bolted up the stairs. The lights on the stairs went out as he passed, making him scramble in darkness. He could hear the thundering footsteps behind him, echoing throughout the stairs.

Hoseok gasped for air as he reached the top and raced to his dorm. He swiped his key card, nearly crying when it wouldn’t read it.

The footsteps were hurrying toward him in the hallway now. Hoseok pounded at the door, the noise matching his heartbeat.

“Namjoon!” He screamed, not caring who heard. The residential advisor could fine him all he liked. “Namjoon! Please!”

He swiped again and this time he burst into the door, nearly hitting Namjoon in the process.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon grabbed his shoulders, his eyes full of concern.

Hoseok sagged against the door and burst into tears.

“Are you okay?”

“No!”

Namjoon hugged him and they stood together for a while, before the man coaxed him into his bed.

Hoseok crawled in beside Namjoon, finding comfort in his friend, but also finding the realization that something was going on with him.

His relationship with Yoongi and the footsteps that had been chasing him had pushed him to the point, the point where something had to give.

Hoseok and Namjoon went to breakfast the next morning and were joined by Taehyung and Jimin.

“Where’s Jungkook?” Namjoon asked.

“Library.” The couple had replied in unison.

“He’s sure gone an awful lot.” Hoseok commented as he played with his hashbrowns. It was hard to find an appetite. Especially when something important was looming over him.

“Yeah, Taehyung’s starting to get suspicious.” Jimin nudged at the younger man, causing him to nearly spill his orange juice.

Taehyung coughed and set it down. “It’s just…” He swallowed. “Things have been weird…”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok asked.

“Paranormal weird?” Namjoon pressed.

“I…” Taehyung shrugged.

“Oh no. Not again!” Hoseok cried. “Finish your sentences!”

Taehyung gave a grimace. “Okay hyung. Two nights ago, I woke up to whispering.”

Jimin sighed. “Not this again.”

“Last night I heard footsteps behind me.” Hoseok admitted.

Jimin frowned. “You think it's the...demon?”

“No way, Jin sent it back to hell.” Namjoon shook his head. “No way it could follow us. Are you sure you guys heard footsteps and whispering?”

“I mean...I was pretty bad already.” Hoseok confessed.

“And I was half-asleep.” Taehyung added.

“I’m not going to make the same mistake again and not believe you guys, but we’re going to need more evidence.” Namjoon placed a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder and then another on Taehyung’s.

“What are we going to do, track it down?” Jimin raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah.”

“No! Taehyung and I are trying to plan my wedding!” Jimin protested. “And Hoseok is trying to fix his relationship with Yoongi hyung, there is no way we are chasing after ghosts or demons! That’s like asking to be possessed or haunted or whatever!”

“Jimin…” Taehyung grabbed the man’s arm.

Jimin swatted him away. “No Taehyung! No ghost hunting, no ghost calling, no ghost texting!”

Taehyung gave Hoseok and Namjoon apologetic looks.

“Alright Mochi.” Namjoon reached and pinched Jimin’s cheek. “We’ll leave it be.”

“Thank you.” Jimin sniffed. He then pulled out the wedding invitations. “Now which color do you like?”

Hoseok felt his phone ring and he turned away from them to check it.  It was Yoongi.

I’m outside your dorm.

Hoseok felt his gut twist as he texted back quickly.

Meet me by the pond near the bookstore.

“I’m out.” Hoseok called to the others as he got up.

Jimin and Taehyung gave him goodbye smiles and waves but, Namjoon seemed to give him a thoughtful look. Hoseok gave him a reassuring smile and left before his roommate could begin analyzing him.

This was something he had to do without anyone’s comments or inputs.

He had barely slept that night. Hoseok had been thinking about what he wanted, what he needed in his life and how Yoongi would fit.

He didn’t.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Yoongi sat up from the bench beside the pond and handed him a frappe.

“Oh you shouldn’t have.” Hoseok took it, feeling the guilt overwhelm him already. He reached into his pocket and handed him a handful of dollars.

“It’s fine, I wanted to.” Yoongi pushed his hand back.

“Take it.” Hoseok insisted. “You’re about to change your mind.”

Yoongi, unaware, gave him a raised eyebrow before taking the money.

They took a seat on the bench and sat in silence before Hoseok had the courage to speak up.

“I’m...too dependent on you.”

Yoongi smiled. “Nothing new.”

“I mean, I’m too dependent on you.”

“Oh.” Yoongi’s smile faded.

“To the point where it’s hard to be away from you for too long.” Hoseok continued.

“Hoseok, I’m sorry.” Yoongi grabbed his hands, weaving them into his own. “I’ll try to be there more. I recently finished a track list and I’m going to be free for a while.”

“That’s good, you can get some sleep and eat more. You’re too skinny.”

Yoongi smirked. “Yeah, so you always say.”

Hoseok smiled, but then frowned. Now or never. “It’s not about you being there though, I thought it was that but--it was just me.”

“Wait Hoseok.” Yoongi’s eyes narrowed. He seemed to be finally catching on. “Are you about to pull a it’s-not-you-it’s-me?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you...you…” Hoseok had never seen Yoongi like this. His face had morphed into an anguished expression and his hands were shaking over his.

His heart was breaking at the sight, but he had to go through with it. It was for their own good.

He pulled his hands away.

“Yoongi,” he swallowed hard. “Shall we take a break?”

“Why?” Yoongi stood up. “Why?! Is it about work? About moving in? Namjoon?! ”

“ No! ” Hoseok stood up alongside him. “Didn’t you just listen?!”

“I don’t understand!”

“Yoongi.” Hoseok wanted to reach out and hug him, but he stepped back instead. “I need time for myself. I can’t always live needing someone to hold me at night.”

“But I loved holding you at night.” Yoongi murmured. His eyes were glossy with incoming tears, that Hoseok knew he wouldn’t shed in front of him.

“I know. I did too.” He replied softly.

“Hoseok, I love you.”

Hoseok wanted to take it back. He couldn’t bear to see Yoongi looking so vulnerable and small. He wanted to grab onto Yoongi and never let him go, but that kind of obsession was what had gotten him there in the first place.

He had hoped Yoongi would be angry and yell at him, making it easier to do it. But Yoongi wasn’t really that type of person. In reality, he was gentle and sensitive.

And now he’s hurt. And it’s all my fault.

He clenched his fists and tucked them into his coat pockets.

“I know that too.” He answered, the end of his sentence breaking into a sob.

“Hoseok.” Yoongi walked toward him, a hand outstretched. Ready to comfort him like always.

“Don’t!” Hoseok flinched. Yoongi stopped in his tracks. “Don’t make me change my mind. I have to do this…Goodbye Yoongi.”

“Hoseok!”

Hoseok ran off to the dorms, not wanting to look back. He needed to be in bed and under the covers, before his tears broke the dam of sadness he held inside. He had hoped he would find it a bit liberating to do this. Maybe even empowering. But he had never expected it to feel like dying.