Yoochun really thought that he was going to be steadfast in his resolve to not pity Yunho. But, alas, years of friendship didn’t shatter that easily. So, when Yunho had called him that night to go out drinking, the other guy sounded so pitiful on the phone that he agreed.

He was kind of glad he did.

They were at the same bar and grill where they drank just a few days ago. As soon as they had sat down, Yunho proceeded to order drink after drink, not even asking Yoochun what he wanted.

The man had the appearance of a brokenhearted fool as he recounted the day’s happenings to Yoochun – how Jaejoong had canceled their contract with the event coordinators, how he used Siwon to try and make Yunho jealous, and his last words before leaving Yunho at the restaurant parking lot that afternoon.

“He said it h-hurts to be n-near me,” sobbed the other before taking another swig from his bottle of beer and slamming it onto the table.

The other bottles already there rattled from the impact.

“I-I-I messed up…” he wailed. “I-I-I really messed up… I-I- hurt him so much… J-J-Jaejoong… he hates me… M-M-My Jaejoong… I… I can’t live without my J-J-Jaejoong…”

And he began to cry, loud sobs that could make even the coldest human melt in pity.

Yoochun didn’t want to pity him. But, despite all that the man had done to his best friend, he couldn’t forget the times when Yunho had been the friend that was always there for all of them when they needed him. When they were weak, Yunho was strong for them.

And now, he had fallen so far from the pedestal that they had all placed him in.

He didn’t want it to, but his heart was moved.

And yet, he couldn’t do anything except pat the man’s back as he sobbed onto the table, crying out Jaejoong’s name over and over again.

“Yoochun-hyung.”

He looked up to see a confused Junsu approaching their table. The younger man flashed a pointed look at a sobbing Yunho before looking up at the older.

“You called me here for this?” he asked in disbelief.

Yoochun shrugged. “I can’t be the only one suffering through his breakdown.”

“He deserves it,” Junsu muttered as he sat down next to him.

The other could only sigh. “I know he does. But, Junsu, I feel bad for him. Don’t you?”

Junsu glanced at the still crying older man, who hadn’t even acknowledged his arrival. Yoochun watched as his hard look softened into one of sympathy. He could always count on Junsu’s kindness to shine through, especially at a moment like this.

“Yeah, I do,” he admitted. “Where’s Changmin?”

“I didn’t call him. I figured if I did, he’d try to beat up Yunho. And what he really needs is a friend right now, not another black eye.” He paused and whispered, “Even if he does deserve it.”

Junsu sighed before staring at all the empty bottles of beer in front of them. “How much did he drink?” he asked, nose wrinkling. He wasn’t a huge fan of alcohol and avoided drinking whenever he could. He didn’t even drink with Jaejoong a few days ago; it had been the older and Changmin who finished the bottles.

Yoochun counted the bottles with a finger. “Around five, so far. This is only my second bottle.”

“Jesus, Yunho-hyung! Are you trying to give yourself alcohol poisoning?!” he screeched.

Yunho groaned and placed his hands over his ears. It made Yoochun laugh a little. The younger had always been the one to scold them when they had hangovers in that painful dolphin screech that always made them cover their ears. And the use of “hyung” as a sign of respect to Yunho was back; it truly warmed Yoochun’s heart.

Yunho may not deserve their friendship, but he supposed that it was easier to forgive a friend than a lover.

That brief moment of camaraderie made him wish that Yunho never made that mistake that changed the course of their friendship forever. He wished he could go back to the old times, when Yunho and Jaejoong were happily in love and the rest of them pretended to be sickened by all the sweetness.

He wished for nothing more than to see Yunho and Jaejoong smile again with love pooling from their eyes.

“Yoochun-hyung, did you bring a car?”

“No, Yunho did.”

“Then how are we gonna get him home?”

“I’ll drive, don’t worry.”

“You drank!”

“It was only a bottle and a half.”

“No, thanks, I have no desire to die tonight.”

“Then, you drive.”

“I don’t have my license.”

“Yet? You should really get on that.”

“Hyung!”

“I’m serious, Junsu, if you want to impress the ladies, you need to drive a car.”

“Hyung…”

“Why do you think Yunho and Changmin always get the girls’ attention?”

“Yoochun-hyung!”

“Or at least a motorcycle, I hear girls-.”

“Yunho-hyung is gone!”

“What?”

Yoochun’s head snapped to the side so sharply that he felt his neck almost break, but he couldn’t care less about a little neck pain. The spot where Yunho had been sitting earlier was empty.

He shot up from his seat as he took out his wallet to leave money for their food and drinks. “! Where did he go?!”

“How should I know?!” Junsu screeched, panicking as he looked around the restaurant for a glimpse of the older.

They rushed out of the place to the parking lot. Yunho’s car was still there but there was no sign of him around.

“Where would he even go?” Junsu asked out loud.

It took them a few moments but when it finally dawned on them, they looked at each other with the same look of realization.

“Jaejoong’s,” they chorused before running off in that direction.

Yunho was pretty drunk so he couldn’t have gotten far, right? Not without driving or a ride.

They doubted any taxi or bus would take him in his inebriated state… right?

After quite the emotional day he had, Jaejoong was just ready to call it a night. But, at 8pm, it was still quite early so he simply settled into the sofa with his parents, a mug of tea in his hands, as they watched a drama. He would have preferred some soju, but his mother was not a fan of his drinking habits, so he figured he would play it safe that night.

They were just watching Lee Minho’s character crying after the death of his father when a loud voice from outside penetrated their walls and almost drowned out the handsome actor’s cries.

They paid it no mind, figuring it was probably just some drunk old man passing by.

But the voice kept getting louder and louder until they finally heard it clearly.

“Jaejoong-ah! Jaejoong-ah! I’m sorry! I love you! I’m really sorry!”

His mother stood up, quickly. “Is that Yunho?”

The three of them carefully padded over to the window and peeked in between the curtains.

Sure enough, there he was.

Jung Yunho was swaying on his feet, cupping his hands to his mouth and yelling. At this rate, their neighbors were going to call the police.

Mr. Kim made for the door. “I’ll take care of this,” he said.

“Appa, wait!”

Jaejoong stopped him. He knew his father was angry at Yunho. But, he was a calm and passive man who disliked violence. But, Jaejoong didn’t know if he could keep that resolve when facing the man who hurt his only son.

His phone began to ring from the coffee table and he rushed to answer it. It was Yoochun.

“Jae! Now, don’t panic, but-.”

“Yunho is outside,” he stated, going up to the windows again to look. “He’s drunk.”

“Damnit! We’ll be there in five minutes. Just leave him to us, okay?”

“Okay.”

Yoochun hung up and Jaejoong and his parents continued to watch Yunho outside.

He looked truly pitiful – crying and screaming for Jaejoong. He looked like how Lee Minho looked in that drama they were just watching – devastated.

“Jaejoong! Babe! I love you, okay?! You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

Each word was like a stab to Jaejoong’s heart and he wanted nothing more than to run out there and take Yunho in his arms.

“S-She was a m-mistake! A huge mistake! I don’t love her, Jaejoong! I love you! O-Only you, Jaejoong!”

His breath hitched at the confession.

“J-Jae… J-Jaejoongie… D-Don’t leave me! P-Please!”

But he had his own pride to keep. Besides, that would make it too easy on Yunho, wouldn’t it? Get drunk, cry at Jaejoong’s doorstep, and just like that, Jaejoong would forgive him?

So, he was quite relieved when Yoochun and Junsu finally showed up and with a little struggle, carted Yunho off to a waiting taxi to take him home.

It took some time but eventually, Jaejoong received a text from Yoochun: “He’s home and safe.”

He could breathe easier now.

It was getting late, yet Yunho was still sitting at Jaejoong’s desk, scribbling away and checking his book every now and then. Jaejoong watched him from his spot on his bed, surrounded by his own homework. He could see the eye bags under Yunho’s eyes, the slight twitching of his fingers as he wrote. He was exhausted.

“Babe?” Jaejoong softly called out. “Do you want to stop here for the night? It’s getting pretty late. You should head home.”

Yunho didn’t stop writing. In fact, he seemed even more determined to keep writing.

“I’m fine,” he said, but his voice was strained. He was really tired.

Jaejoong got up from his perch and approached the other, wrapping his arms around him in a back hug.

“Don’t work yourself too hard, you’re doing fine,” he said, softly.

Yunho stopped scribbling, his hand still clenching at his pen tightly. “Just fine is not good enough for Appa,” he whispered. “I need to prove to him that you are not a distraction, that you make me better, that what we have is not a phase. I need to prove him wrong, Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong brushed his lips at the back of Yunho’s head. “I know, but there’s no use killing yourself over it. You’ll do worse if you strain yourself. Please, Yunho.”

Finally, the other let out a sigh before dropping his pen and turning to face him with a soft smile.

“What would I do without you, Jaejoongie?”

Jaejoong beamed. “You’ll die of exhaustion and starvation. I could hear your stomach growling from my bed.”

He released him from his arms and held out a hand. “Come on. Let’s have a snack before you go. And I mean it, Yunho. You have to go home tonight. Your Appa won’t be happy if you stayed over again.”

Yunho scoffed as he stood up to follow Jaejoong. “As if Appa can tell me what to do.”

The feminine boy chuckled in amusement. “That’s what you think, but we both know you respect your Appa too much to defy him.”

Arms went around his shoulders, squeezing him to Yunho’s side. “Except when it comes to you.”

Jaejoong laughed. “Yes. I’m the exception to every rule.”

“Hey.” A nudge on his side.

“Hmmm?”

“You’re the best.”

“I know.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Jaejoong opened his eyes to see his ceiling staring back at him. He stayed in bed for a few moments, blinking several times. His eyes felt crusty and were in desperate need of a wash. So, he stretched, got up, and went to get ready for the day.

He showered, brushed his teeth, put on his volunteer uniform and went down to the kitchen where breakfast was laid out for him. He ate, got his bag ready, and locked the door behind him before getting his bike.

He paused for a moment, glancing at the street. Waiting. Minutes passed and nothing appeared so he set off for the elementary school.

He started the class off with breathing exercises before warming up with their “ahh ahh’s”. He listened to their individual performance then let them practice on their own before lunchtime.

He ate his lunch, making small talk with the other teachers. They said he looked much more lively than the day before, so he must be getting better from his illness. He thanked them for their concern.

Then, it was back to class. This time, they focused on their group songs. They went over harmonies, perfected a few stray notes here and there. They finished the class with an astounding performance. He complimented the children before sending them home with reminders to practice.

He dropped off leftover music sheets at the staff room, said goodbye to his co-workers, and headed out to his waiting bike.

Once more, he paused, watching the gate, waiting. Aside from a few parents and guardians coming to pick up their children, no one came. With a sigh, Jaejoong biked for home.

This was his routine in the past three days. That had been the last time Yunho came to see him. Granted, he was drunk and screaming and crying at the time and Jaejoong didn’t even go out to meet him.

A part of him was glad that Yunho had finally heeded his words and backed off. However, there was a tiny, little part that felt… disappointed. Didn’t Yunho say that he wasn’t going to give up on him? Was that a lie too?

But, no matter, he was moving on, slowly picking up the pieces of his broken heart.

And so, he went home, cleaned up a little and made dinner. His parents returned home around 7, they ate dinner, watched Lee Minho’s drama, and then went to bed.

It had been an ordinary and quite uneventful day. Peaceful. Quiet. And yet, Jaejoong felt restless.

The next day, he didn’t have work at the elementary school. He had work at the restaurant in the afternoon, so he was simply killing time at home. Around lunchtime, the doorbell rang.

His heart started beating fast in anticipation though he willed it not to. Cautiously, he stepped up to the window to peek outside. Changmin’s lanky form was standing on his doorstep, waiting patiently.

Ignoring the pang of disappointment in his chest, he opened the door with a smile.

“What brings you here?” he asked the younger as he stepped aside to let him in.

Changmin turned to him with a pout. “I’m hungry,” he simply stated.

Of course.

With a laugh, Jaejoong led him into the kitchen where a simple lunch of leftover fish, rice, and some side dishes had been waiting. He heated it all up and grabbed an extra plate for the younger. Saying their ‘thanks’, they dug into the food.

“How are summer classes going?” Jaejoong asked.

“Good! At this rate, I might graduate a semester early,” Changmin replied, enthusiastically. “There’s an internship with one of the hotshot professors at the university. With my summer credits, he might consider me even if I’m not a senior yet.”

Jaejoong fondly ruffled his hair. “I’m proud of you.”

Changmin beamed.

They ate in silence for a while, the only sounds were chewing and the clatter of chopsticks and spoons against plates and bowls. When they were done, they washed the plates together before settling back into the table with mugs of tea.

Jaejoong always enjoyed a nice cup of tea after a meal.

“Hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“How are you feeling?”

Jaejoong felt touched at his concern so he flashed him a smile. “I’m… okay.”

Changmin seemed to hesitate before asking. “Has Yunho-hyung been bothering you?”

The older let out an amused chuckle before shaking his head. “So, it’s back to ‘hyung’?” he teased.

Changmin had been speaking informally about Yunho in the last few days that it was kind of nice to see a little bit of the respect back.

The younger blushed. “I… Are you mad?”

“Why would I be mad? He’s still your friend and your hyung. No matter what he did to me, I can’t expect you to forget more than a decade’s worth of friendship.” He patted his arm. “You, Yoochun, and Junsu have done so much for me these past few days.”

“They went drinking with him.” Changmin’s tone held a tinge of bitterness.

Jaejoong nodded. “I know. Yoochun told me. As much as you are my friends, they’re his friends too.”

“I hate him.”

Jaejoong sighed. “I know.”

“Hey, hyung… remember back then, when you guys started dating, Yunho-hyung gathered us together and was like ‘I’m dating someone. It’s a guy.’ He was so proud and confident about it too.”

At the distant memory, Jaejoong laughed. “You were in middle school. What was it that you said? ‘Yah, hyung! You dated a babe like Jung Jessica and you replace her with a guy?’”

The younger laughed along, his eyes twinkling in merriment. “I didn’t get it back then. Like, the guy had everything… looks, a brain, the athletic ability… any straight guy would kill for all those qualities!”

“And when you found out it was me…”

“I said, ‘Ahh, if it’s Jaejoong-hyung, it’s okay then.’” Changmin sighed in nostalgia. “It was so simple back then. You two loved each other a lot that it made the rest of us jealous, wondering if we were ever going to find what you guys had.”

There was a pang in Jaejoong’s chest and he couldn’t help but take a sip of tea, his hands shaking.

Remembering that time had always been a beautiful memory to Jaejoong… but, now, it all just seemed so sad.

What happened to them? How did they get to this point?

Jaejoong still couldn’t understand it. Maybe that was why no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive Yunho. He had so many questions but there were no answers, not even from the man himself.

Changmin looked inquiringly at him. “Are you going to forgive him, hyung?”

The question caught him off-guard that Jaejoong’s grip on his mug tightened; he didn’t even acknowledge the burning heat against his skin.

It was a question that he, himself, had been pondering for days. Now that his head was much clearer, he couldn’t help but wonder if he should just run the other direction. He had broken off the engagement, canceled the event coordinators, and told Father William that his services were no longer needed.

Yet, he kept the various catalogs for flower arrangements, wedding invitations, and formal gowns and tuxedos. His ring had been found in the chaos of his room and was now hidden, out of sight, in his drawer.

“I… I don’t know…” he answered, honestly.

Changmin bit his lip. “I don’t think you should,” he confessed. “He hurt you.”

Jaejoong could only nod, his chest aching. “He did.”

“But… you still love him… right?”

The older closed his eyes, forcing his tears back. He refused to cry. “Yes…” he admitted in a whisper. “No matter what that bastard did to me… I still love him… I want to stop… But, I can’t…”

Changmin could only pat his hand in comfort.

The next day, Jaejoong went grocery shopping. It was a task that he greatly enjoyed and the store that he frequented knew who he was and often gave him the best products with the best discounts.

So, when he returned home, he was saddled with numerous bags. He struggled to walk, his arms straining from the weight, but he persevered.

A little thought in his head kept saying that he should call Yunho to help him; the man was strong. But, he pushed that thought aside.

He could do things without Yunho. He had to get back on his feet and show that stupid bastard that he didn’t break him.

When he caught a glimpse of his house, he paused. There was a familiar car parked out there.

His heart, once again, quickened its pace and for a moment, he thought about turning around and coming back at a later time. But, there was meat among his purchases and it was a hot day. He didn’t want to spoil any of his goods just because his cheating ex-fiancé was outside his house for the first time in days.

So, he squared his shoulders and raised his chin up high… even though his legs felt like buckling underneath him.

When Yunho came into view, his heart almost stopped and his breath hitched.

Despite the messy nest of hair, the dark circles under his eyes, and what appeared to be a subtle gain in weight (Yunho tended to stress-eat when he was upset), he was still so very handsome.

That handsomeness was both a blessing and a curse, according to Jaejoong.

Yunho caught sight of him and smiled, slightly, lifting a hand to wave. Jaejoong almost caught himself waving back, if not for the heavy weight of the grocery bags in his hands. He was thankful for that.

“Jae, do you need help?” he asked as the other got closer.

“No.” Even though his arms were about to fall off.

Nonetheless, Yunho took three of the bags from his hold. Jaejoong scowled at him before sighing and leading him to the front door. He unlocked it and dropped his bags inside before turning back around.

“Don’t think I’m inviting you inside,” he said, coldly as he roughly took the bags from Yunho and made to go inside.

“Wait! Jae!”

“Whatever it is, I’m not interested.”

“I’m going back to Seoul tomorrow!”

Jaejoong paused, hand at the door, ready to shut it in Yunho’s face. He didn’t know why he hesitated to do it as soon as Yunho announced his leaving. He should be happy that he was finally going to be far, far away from him.

The latter was still standing there, looking small and worried.

“So what?” Jaejoong spat. “You can go back to her then. You have no obligation to me now. So why should I care?”

Yunho visibly flinched but rolled his shoulders back.

“I… I was just wondering… if…. You’d like to… see me off tomorrow?”

Was he serious?! After everything, he thought Jaejoong would just send him off like he was a lover going off to war?!

Yunho must have seen the expression on his face as he quickly added, “You don’t have to! I mean, I get why you wouldn’t… but… I’d really like to see you before I go… Jaejoong… I’m really sorry… I know that nothing I say right now can make up for what I did… And…” He let out a frustrated grunt and ran a hand through his already messy hair. “I just… I messed up… big time… And… I’m sorry for continuing to force myself into your life when you don’t want me in it anymore.”

Jaejoong’s eyes widened at that, but yet, he remained frozen on his spot as he watched as Yunho looked away, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose like he was in deep pain.

Finally, he managed to look him, with the saddest and most broken smile Jaejoong had ever seen him sport. It tugged at his heart, and he hated that fact.

“I’m leaving at 11am tomorrow. I’d really like to see you. But, if you don’t show up, I won’t hold it against you. I’ll continue to love you, Jaejoong, even if you never forgive me. I’m sorry.”

He reached out with a hand before stopping and pulling back.

Shaking his head, he whispered, “Sorry” again before turning around and walking away.

Jaejoong watched as he entered his car and turned back to look at him one last time, as if he wanted to commit his face to memory. He smiled and finally, the car and he drove away.

For several moments, Jaejoong simply stood there at the entranceway, baffled and confused at what just occurred.

Something wet dripped down his neck and he realized that somehow, he had started crying.

“So… are you gonna go?”

Jaejoong sighed, phone at his ear, as he played with the hem of his blankets. “I don’t know… should I?”

“Jae, I’m not the one who got asked to see his ex-fiancé off.”

“Yoochun-ah! I don’t know!” He fell back onto the bed, frustrated.

“If you don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t then.”

Jaejoong felt himself pout. “I guess not…”

“Now you just sound disappointed. Are you pouting?”

Jaejoong schooled his features. “No…”

“Jae.”

“What?”

“Do you want to see Yunho before he leaves?”

Instead of answering, Jaejoong answered the question with another question, “Do you believe him when he says he’s sorry?”

“Does it matter what I believe? I’m not the one who dated the guy.”

“Just… tell me what you think.”

On the other line, Yoochun hummed in contemplation. “To be honest… I don’t know.”

This time, it was Jaejoong who hummed.

“But, I do know one thing, Jae.”

“What?”

“When it comes to you, Yunho is an open book. If you want the answer to that question, just read him like you always do. We both know that out of the five of us, you know him the most. So, even if he lies, you can always tell that something is off. No wonder he got caught. He’s weak when it comes to you.”

That gave Jaejoong some thought. It was true.

Yunho had lied to him in the past. Trivial things and white lies, as typical with anyone. Jaejoong wasn’t going to pretend that he didn’t have secrets of his own or had never told a lie. It was just he was so in tune with Yunho and his mannerisms that he could tell if the other man was hiding something.

He suspected nothing when they talked on the phone.

That day he caught him, the panic didn’t even register in Yunho’s eyes until the voice of that girl called out to him. That was how Jaejoong knew that that girl was no ordinary girl. And knew that whatever lie Yunho would have come up with on the spot, he would have never believed him.

Jung Yunho got caught because Kim Jaejoong knew him better than his own mother.

He didn’t know if he should be proud of himself for that or wish that he had lived in ignorance instead.

He was almost done packing. Just a few more shirts and the rest of his toiletries and he was good to go.

Yunho looked around his childhood bedroom. Staying here for a week, he was surrounded by so many memories. Jaejoong’s smiling face was all over his bedroom. Oh, how he loved him. It was a deep friendship that turned into a deep love and throughout his teens, he knew that he only wanted to be with Jaejoong. He had seen a future with the two of them, happy and together.

But he had ruined it because he was stupid and a fool. And now he had to pay. He knew he deserved it.

If he could turn back time and change it all, he should have never let Jisoo into his life. He should have never gotten drunk with her. He should have never given in to her pleads. He should have never let his own anger with Jaejoong cloud his senses. He should have never allowed his loneliness to consume his conscience. He should have turned her away when she begged him to stay.

And now Jaejoong wanted nothing to do with him. He had no one else to blame but himself.

Downstairs, the doorbell rang.

“Oppa, I’ll get it!”

At least his sister was talking to him again. He knew she was still angry at him.

His parents had gone to work that morning and had said their goodbyes to him before they left. Only Jihye was still at home.

Sighing heavily, he finished up his packing.

Before leaving, he looked at the room one more time and wondered if he should try to go home more often from now on. At least that way, he could still see Jaejoong.

As he descended the stairs with his luggage, he could hear his sister’s sharp voice arguing with another.

“Jihye?” he called out. “Who’s there?”

“Oppa! Tell her to leave!”

“Yunho…”

He froze, eyes widened to see who was at the door.

“J-Jisoo?”

A/N: Jisoo is back! Yikes! How is Yunho gonna handle this one?

Yes, yes, I know, I know, some of you still hate Yunho's guts and hopes he dies in a fire (my character Yunho, not the real Yunho 'cause like, that would just make him hotter......... yeah, I know, lame joke, I just wanted to make you laugh, people!)

Anyway, Jaejoong has somewhat calmed down, but we know that the calmest people carry some of the biggest baggage, just waiting to explode.... and Jaejoong will definitely explode, I can assure you. In what way, that remains to be seen.

I'm already in the middle of the next chapter and can I say that I am really enjoying writing it. But, I probably won't be updating for a few days because I have some personal plans, so hang in there!

Feel free to share your thoughts! You know I love hearing them! (Even if it's mostly to complain about our little cheater lol)

'Til the next one!