Bright sunlight sneakily snuck underneath his eyelids, letting him know that morning was upon them. Slowly, Jaejoong opened his eyes and blinked several times to adjust to the sudden brightness. The early morning sky greeted his vision and it took him a few moments to realize where he was.

He was lying on the ground, wrapped around Yunho, whose chest he was resting his head upon. The other was still sleeping, exhausted from how late they stayed up last night.

Jaejoong had wanted to star-gaze and so they had laid out a blanket on the finely-cut grass lawn of the Kim household’s backyard and stayed out all night watching the heavens. It was last night that Yunho had whispered in his ear, “I love you” for the first time since they started dating five months ago.

And Jaejoong had never felt happier than he did at that moment. Although he probably should have said something instead of simply attacking the older with kisses. He just felt so happy.

Yunho began to stir beside him. Jaejoong watched as he opened his eyes, blinked several times and when his gaze caught his, he smiled and pulled the other over to him.

“Morning,” he greeted, pressing a sweet kiss to Jaejoong’s lips. “We fell asleep.”

Jaejoong chuckled as he snuggled closer to him. “We did.”

“Umma’s gonna kill me.”

“Mine probably called her.”

“Your family is the best.” Yunho kissed his nose. “I’m glad they accepted us.”

Jaejoong chuckled. “With eight older sisters, I don’t think they were really surprised.”

Yunho continued to look at him with a sense of wonder, as if he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Jaejoong had always liked that look. It made him feel so important and special. It made him feel loved in the deepest and most profound way he could imagine. He couldn’t imagine a life without Yunho at his side.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Yunho beamed, like he had just been given the world.

“I love you too,” he replied before kissing him for the second time that morning.

It was bliss. Jaejoong could ask for nothing more.

All Jaejoong wanted at that moment was answers. Answers to the questions that had been swirling in his head since yesterday.

Why did Yunho cheat on him? What did that woman have that he didn’t? Was Jaejoong somehow lacking? Was he no longer as beautiful or as handsome as he used to be when they were teenagers? Did he do something to upset his fiancé so much that it drove him to be unfaithful?

Just… why?

“How did you find us? Are you a stalker now?” he spit out.

Yunho shook his head. “Jihye is in there with some of her friends. She saw you and texted me. I… I just really need to talk to you, Jae.”

Jaejoong didn’t say a word and for a long time, neither did Yunho. He just continued to look at Jaejoong, his eyes running over every feature, as if memorizing his face to memory.

It pissed him off. How dare he look at him like he cared about him?!

“Your five minutes are going to run out quickly if you just keep staring at me,” he said, as coldly as possible.

Jaejoong had been drunk earlier, but seeing Yunho at the Noraebang parking lot had sobered him up enough. He felt all the pain come back, just by looking at his sorry excuse for a fiance’s face.

“Jaejoong-ah, I’m sorry I cheated,” the other said quickly. “I’m sorry I betrayed you. I’m sorry I betrayed your trust. But, you have to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you, that is the last thing I ever want to do!”

He felt like laughing at that. And he chuckled, though not with any humor.

“But the point here is that you did,” replied Jaejoong. “You did hurt me, Yunho.”

Yunho swallowed. “I… I know.”

“So why did you? Why did you hurt me?”

“I…”

“What’s wrong with me, huh, Yunho?”

“Nothing!”

“Did I do something to upset you? Do I nag you too much? Are you annoyed by the things I do? Am I ugly?”

“No! Jaejoong, no!”

“Then, why?!” he practically screamed.

Yunho ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. Jaejoong had always enjoyed running his hands through those thick strands; Yunho had really silky hair. The thought of other hands doing the same sent a pang right through his heart, so he clenched his fists, digging his nails into the palm of his hands.

“It… it just happened.”

“You don’t just happen to have with a random girl when you have a fiancé, Yunho. Don’t give me that bull.”

Yunho swallowed again before saying, “No… You’re right… I… Jaejoong, I… I don’t know… But… I guess… I guess I was lonely.”

Jaejoong stayed rooted to his spot, willing himself to calm down.

“I was lonely… I missed you so much… The first time was an accident… She was upset that her ex was with another girl and asked me to drink with her… We were both drunk… The second time…”

As he listened to the rest, Jaejoong’s breath hitch, just now realizing that the incident yesterday was not the first time. It made the pain in his heart even worse as he imagined how many opportunities Yunho had to speak of his transgressions, but chose not to.

How long had Yunho been lying to him?!

By the time the latter was done explaining, Jaejoong’s tears made a re-appearance once more. He was tired… He was so very tired… He didn’t want to cry anymore.

Why, of all people, did it have to be Yunho who hurt him the most?

“Jaejoong, I’m sorry. I just missed you so much and I made the wrong decisions.”

“I missed you too, Yunho, but you don’t see me jumping into bed with the first guy who showed me any attention,” he replied, coldly.

Jaejoong raised his head to meet the other’s sad and pathetic eyes. He could see the regret and pain in those eyes.

Yet, he couldn’t care. The damage had been done.

“I’m done, Yunho,” he said. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

He turned to walk away but Yunho grabbed his arm.

“No! Jae! Wait! You can’t mean that! I can fix this! Let me make it up to you!”

Jaejoong threw his hand off his arm and continued to walk, as fast as he could, towards the taxi where the other three were waiting.

“Jaejoong, I love you!”

He paused in his tracks. Without turning around, he said in the harshest voice he could muster, “No, you don’t.”

And then he ran.

“Alright, no problem, Yunho.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Take care, okay?”

“Thank you, sir.”

Yunho hung up the phone and sighed.

It seemed that he had been apologizing to a lot of people in the last three days. To Jaejoong, his parents, Jaejoong’s parents, his friends, and now, his boss.

It had been two days since his confrontation with Jaejoong at the Noraebang’s parking lot. His mother had slapped him on the head and told him to leave his poor fiancé alone for a while. So, he had just been moping at home. He had called his internship to let them know that he had a family emergency and was going to be gone for a week. They kindly allowed him to.

His sister, as soon as she got out of him what happened, refused to talk to him. She loved Jaejoong like an older brother, so she had been pretty upset with Yunho. His mother was loving as always, but her words had a little frost added to them now. His father seemed to treat him normally, but there was always a questioning gaze directed at him.

Tucking his cellphone into the pocket of his jeans, he headed downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast.

His mother was there, staring at the cordless landline phone. She looked troubled.

“Umma? Is everything okay?” he asked, walking up to her.

She looked up at him, surprised. “Oh… Yunho… Good morning…”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s wrong? You look bothered.”

Mrs. Jung hesitated before sighing and putting the phone down on the table.

“I just got off a call with the event coordinators we chose for the wedding,” she began, slowly.

Yunho raised his brows in surprise. "Event coordinators? I didn't know we were getting any."

“Yes. Well, Jaejoong and I were going to surprise you. But, today, they called me to say that they were returning my cheque for the down payment in five days’ time. Apparently, our Jaejoongie had canceled the contract with them.”

It felt like a bucket of cold water had splashed over Yunho’s head. His heart began to beat fast and painful against his chest.

“Wait…what do you mean, he canceled...”

“Yunho… Jaejoong called them yesterday,” his mother answered, solemnly. “He told them that the wedding was off.”

And that was how Jung Yunho’s entire world came crashing down on top of his head.

Have you ever stood on a rug, perfectly content, and then have it pulled out from underneath you, so you suddenly find yourself on the floor, with this aching pain from the impact? You even wonder if you have a concussion.

It felt like that.

Yunho could only feel an aching pain.

The next thing he knew, he was in his car and driving the familiar path to the Kims' household. From a distance, he could see the front door opening.

Jaejoong exited his home, locked the door behind him, and headed for the chained bicycle on the side of the house. He was wearing the uniform yellow t-shirt of the Elementary School’s summer program. His hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep.

Yunho quickly pulled up to the curb, surprising the other as he got ready to mount his bike.

His eyes narrowed as Yunho parked and got out of the car.

“What are you doing here?” he said, coldly.

The love of his life’s eyes were tinged with dark circles, his skin paler than usual. Yunho felt another twinge of guilt for reducing him to this. He wanted to apologize again, beg him on his knees that he would change, that he would be better, to please not call off the wedding.

Alas, all he could say was, “You called off the event coordinators.”

Jaejoong swallowed and looked away. “I did.”

“Why?”

He let out a humorless chuckle. “What do we need them for when there won’t be a wedding?”

Yunho’s eyes flashed to Jaejoong's fingers. They were devoid of the familiar silver band he had given him, the one that matched his own.

“You’re not wearing your ring,” he stated.

Jaejoong scoffed. “I don’t need to anymore. We’re done, Yunho, remember?”

He began to put his feet on the pedals, but Yunho quickly approached, grabbing the front handles, forcefully.

Jaejoong’s eyes narrowed again. “Let go,” he commanded.

“No. Not until we talk more about this.”

“We’ve talked enough. I can’t be with you anymore.”

“I love you.”

His eyes flashed with fire. “If you loved me, why did you cheat?”

Yunho had no answer to that. Instead, he said, “Then… say you don’t love me anymore.”

Jaejoong froze. His eyes were wide in shock and disbelief. Yunho inwardly rejoiced; there was hope. Hope that Jaejoong still loved him.

“Say you don’t love me and I’ll leave,” he dared to say, praying to a higher power that it wouldn’t backfire on him.

Jaejoong looked away. “I… I…”

“See? You do still love me, even though you’re angry with me.” Yunho lifted a hand and gently cupped Jaejoong’s cheek. “And I know I have a lot of making up to do. A lifetime's worth. So I won’t stop, Jaejoong. I won’t stop showing you that I love you. I won’t stop until you forgive me or if you tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

Jaejoong pulled his face away from Yunho’s grip and maneuvered his bike around him.

“Go away,” he simply said.

“Jaejoong, I love you.”

The other paused, and hope continued to brim in Yunho’s chest. Alas, Jaejoong didn’t turn around.

Instead, he replied, “No, you don’t.”

Then, he quickly mounted his bike and cycled away.

As the youngest and only male child in his family, Jaejoong was deprived of the opportunity to act as an older brother to anyone younger than him. Thus, he developed a soft spot for children, which in part, had contributed to his dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.

And as he watched his class singing along to his directions, he felt a sense of pride at how far they had come in this program.

He taught vocal lessons to a group of ten kids, all under the age of twelve. They all displayed the same passion he had for music and singing and they affectionately called him “hyung” instead of “saem”. It was a truly incredible feeling to have all these children look up to him for guidance and strength. Society these days rarely valued the arts and he was honored for the opportunity to help these kids with their passions.

Teaching was able to ease his mind and make him forget all his troubles for a few hours a day.

When they hit the last notes, Jaejoong clapped. “Great job, everyone!” he exclaimed, beaming at the class. “That was perfect! Since you all did so well on this today, tomorrow, we’ll do a new song. Please come up and take your music sheets and I’ll see you tomorrow!”

The class lined up to take their assignment as well to thank him and wish him a good afternoon. He each told them a good job and an extra compliment for those who stood out.

When the last student ran out, a new face appeared at the door.

Jaejoong smiled and waved. “Sunbae,” he greeted.

Choi Siwon was another volunteer teacher, for the musical theater program. He was also a year ahead of Jaejoong in high school and was in the same choir class, so they knew each other well.

“Jaejoong, I keep telling you, we’re not in school anymore, you can call me hyung,” the older said in a teasing tone.

The younger scrunched up his nose as he gathered leftover music sheets and put them neatly back in the box. “It feels weird.”

Laughing, Siwon just shook his head. “Fine, fine. Do what’s most comfortable for you. Anyway, the others and I are going out for tteokbokki. You wanna come?”

The thought of food after a long day with his little rascals (as much as Jaejoong loved them) sounded amazing so he gave the “okay” sign.

“Call!”

The two walked down the hallway towards the staff room, making small talk and greeting passing students.

“Your class sounds a million times better than they did when they first started,” Siwon said. “I could hear them from down the hall.”

Jaejoong chuckled, good-naturedly, blushing a little in pride at the compliment. “They really have come a long way. They’re definitely ready for the showcase.”

The summer program ended with a musical showcase, with all the classes putting on a performance. The kids were highly anticipating it because the winner got a prize of blue ribbons and a barbecue treat along with their teacher.

As they walked, Jaejoong couldn’t help but notice Siwon’s glances at him from the side.

“Yah, sunbae, do I have dirt on my face or something? You keep staring at me!”

Siwon looked startled to have been caught. “Ahh, no… it’s just…”

Jaejoong grinned and decided to a bit. “Don’t tell me you have a crush on me, sunbae!”

The older turned red as his eyes widened in alarm. “What?! Jaejoong, please! I know you’re good looking and all, but no offense, you’re not really my type.” He chuckled. “Besides, we both know Yunho will have my head, if that’s the case!”

At the mention of his… ex-fiancé… Jaejoong’s smile disappeared, replaced with the gloomy look that he had been sporting for the past few days.

Siwon glanced at him in concern again. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “You’ve been like that all day. The other teachers noticed too. And… um… you look like you haven’t slept.”

His concern was so sweet and genuine that Jaejoong just couldn’t hide what he was really feeling. “It’s just… it’s been a long couple of days… stuff happened and… I guess… it’s taking a bit of a toll on me.”

“You know, if you need to, you can take a day off. Clear your head.”

“I know, but-.”

Jaejoong stopped in his tracks and Siwon did too. In front of them, looking around like a lost puppy, was Yunho. He appeared to be searching for something until he caught sight of them.

Siwon raised his hand in greeting. “Hey, Yunho-ah! I didn’t know you were back!”

Yunho waved back and flashed a smile at Jaejoong.

God, that smile did things to him. It was bright and up to his ears. It was everything that made Jung Yunho the charming man that he was.

Jaejoong couldn’t help but resent that smile for making his heart flutter.

“Sunbae,” Yunho greeted.

“Not you too!” Siwon whined. “Call me hyung!”

Yunho’s nose twitched. “It’s weird.”

“Aish! You two really do belong together!”

Both froze, the silence so inherent despite the hustle and bustle of children passing them and saying their goodbyes to each other.

Siwon must have felt the sudden tension in the air that he looked back and forth between the two of them.

If Jaejoong had his way, he wanted to disappear, right there and then. Just dissolve into a puff of smoke and allow the wind to carry him far, far away from his cheating ex-fiancé.

“What are you doing here,” he said, voice devoid of any emotion.

Yunho smiled a little. “I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee?”

Jaejoong pursed his lips. Was he serious? After everything, he thought he could ask him out?!

“No, thanks. I… already agreed to go…” He turned his head to Siwon. “To get tteokbokki with sun… hyung.”

He felt a little cheap using Siwon as a means to get Yunho off his back, but it flew out of his mouth before he could think.

He smiled, bitterly. “Excuse me, I have to drop these off at the office." He gestured to the box in his hands. "Siwon-hyung, I’ll meet you at the entrance.”

Without throwing Yunho another glance, he walked away, his heart pounding painfully against his chest.

He knew he was a coward for not facing Yunho. But, he couldn’t do it. Not without the urge to hurt him.

Yunho watched, helplessly, as Jaejoong walked away from him…again.

He turned to the still-confused Siwon. “Since when did he call you ‘hyung’?” he asked, ignoring the tiny hint of jealousy creeping on him.

“Since about 5 seconds ago.”

“Ahhh.” Yunho instantly felt better and couldn’t help the bubble of joy in his chest. Jaejoong was trying to make him jealous.

Siwon raised an eyebrow at me. “Are you two okay? That interaction was kinda… tense. Usually, you two would be all over each other.”

Yunho only smiled a little sadly. “He’s punishing me. I… I did something.”

“Oh.”

Siwon seemed to feel awkward now and Yunho was glad that he didn’t further inquire. Explaining the same story over and over again was taking a toll on his sanity.

“Well, whatever it is, I know you guys will work it out. You always do.”

A humorless chuckle from the younger. “This one might not be as easy as those other times.”

“If anything was easy, the world would be in chaos.” Siwon patted his back in a friendly manner. “Why don’t you come get tteokbokki with us and the other staff?”

Yunho shook his head. “Jae won’t agree.”

“Well… if you want… you can just… stop by, and… you know… you happen to see us and come say ‘hi’. The rest of the staff might even urge you to stay…”

He couldn’t believe his ears as he stared at his senior who just nonchalantly suggested a way for him and Jaejoong to spend time together. He wondered if Siwon would still help him if he knew what Yunho did to Jaejoong.

Still, he would be a fool if he didn’t take the opportunity.

Spending time with his co-workers had cheered up Jaejoong’s mood. They were all fun and enthusiastic and of course, their shared love for music allowed them to bond. They asked him about his class and he asked them about theirs.

One guitar class was having a collaboration assignment with one of the piano classes this week. Next week, the musical theater class was performing a scene from “Phantom of the Opera”. One of the other voice teachers asked if Jaejoong’s class could do a musical piece with hers.

Overall, it was a lively atmosphere. He had started to relax and really enjoy himself.

So, when the door to the shop opened, he didn’t bat an eyelash. He didn’t even look up to see who just came in, too engrossed in a conversation with Eunha, one of the dance teachers.

“Oh, Yunho-ah, you’re here!” he heard Siwon say.

Jaejoong almost broke his neck from looking up too fast to see a sheepish-looking Yunho standing by their table to greet Siwon before turning his gaze to Jaejoong.

“Jaejoong, hi,” he said with a smile.

“Omo, you’re Jaejoongie’s fiancé, right?” one of the teachers asked, excitedly. 

"It's him! We've seen you in pictures!" said another.

Everyone then starting murmuring, complimenting Yunho and praising Jaejoong.

At that moment, he regretted talking about Yunho so much with his co-workers. They’ve seen all the photos on his phone. They know his name. They all knew that they were going to get married.

“Why don’t you join us, Yunho-shii?”

The rest of the table agreed and soon, Jaejoong found Yunho sitting next to him, on Eunha’s previous eat. She had kindly moved to another place so they could sit beside each other.

Jaejoong wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor.

It wasn’t like he could pretend he was happy in front of his co-workers at the prospect of Yunho being there. He had always worn his heart on his sleeve and he didn’t know if he could keep up the act.

Throughout the conversation, Yunho was his charming and cordial self. He wasn’t the enthusiastic loudmouth that he usually was, though. He may have been keeping calm for Jaejoong’s sake.

But, Jaejoong didn’t like that either. It was too fake.

The only thing that was real was the way Yunho looked at him from the corner of his eye, begging him to look at him.

He couldn’t stand it.

Suddenly, he found himself on his feet. His co-workers and Yunho looked up at him.

“Um… I’m sorry, but I don’t really feel all that well,” he told them. “I think I should head home.”

All at once, his co-workers all asked him what was wrong, if he needed something, and that if he wanted to, he could call in sick tomorrow. He accepted their worries and thanked them.

With one last bow, he rushed out of the restaurant, all his senses very much aware that Yunho was following him.

“Jaejoong…”

He sharply turned around. “Are you really some kind of stalker?! You show up at my house, the Noraebang, my work, and now, here?! I can file a restraining order on you! Why can’t you just leave me alone?!”

“Because I love-.”

“Stop! Just stop it!”

Jaejoong’s head was spinning as all his emotions started spiraling out of control again. He didn’t know whether he should laugh, cry, act happy, be upset, get angry, stay calm, be violent or whatever else emotion was trying to explode out of him.

“Yunho, you hurt me! You took my heart, threw it on the ground, and stepped all over it! What part of ‘we’re done’ do you not understand?!”

“I understand that you’re angry with me and you hate me,” replied the other, his tone full of distress. “I understand that I hurt you and made you feel like I don’t love you. But… Jaejoong… you have to believe me when I tell you that I do love you. I love you so much and I will do anything in this world to prove it to you.”

To Jaejoong’s shock, Yunho suddenly got down on his knees and prostrated himself on the ground in an act of penance and submission.

It was strange, seeing the great Jung Yunho so low on the ground. He looked pitiful. In this picture, Jaejoong held the power over him.

“Get up,” Jaejoong croaked. “Yunho, get up!”

But, Yunho refused. People passing by were staring at them now, making Jaejoong blush in embarrassment.

“Fine! Stay like that!”

With all the strength he could muster, he turned around and walked away, heading for his parked bike on the side of the restaurant.

He heard shuffling and then footsteps running after him as he unchained his bike.

“Jaejoong, I’m not giving up on you.”

At that, he finally paused but remained silent.

Yunho took it as an invitation to continue. “We’ve gone through so much together. You’re the only one I’m in love with and you always will be. Jaejoong, please. I can’t see my future without you. I… I need you in my life. Baby, please…”

Jaejoong closed his eyes and allowed a tear to fall before wiping it away, furiously. He turned around and finally made eye contact.

Those eyes would be the death of him. They always sparkled with so much mischief and adoration. Now, they were just regretful.

“Yunho… I can’t.” He watched as the other’s face fell into despair, but he could not hold back. “Please leave me alone. It… It hurts to be next to you. It hurts to look at you. And it hurts to hear you say you love me when you’ve hurt me so much.”

Tears freely fell now and so did Yunho’s. The man rarely cried. It stabbed at Jaejoong’s heart. He never wanted to see him cry unless they were tears of happiness. It took great emotion to get Yunho to spill his tears.

Only Jaejoong could reduce him to such.

“Please, go home,” was all he said.

For the second time that day, he mounted his bike and pedaled away from Yunho. He refused to look back, knowing that if he did, he might stop and go back.

And he didn’t want to go back. Not at that moment.

Because as much as Yunho’s words of love pained him, there was still a tiny part, deep inside of him, that felt just a little bit happy.

And it scared the hell out of him.

A/N: So, I wanted to show a few glimpses of their past and the happiness that they had. Yunho really does love Jaejoong, although you may feel free to disagree with me on that; we can all have different interpretations and opinions. But, that's the main reason I added the flashback so I can show that their relationship was full of love. Yunho, as I probably re-iterated in various intervals in the last few chapters, made a stupid mistake that cost him the most important thing in his life. That's what makes him human.

It doesn't excuse what he did, of course. It just goes to show that bad decisions have dire consequences and he's paying dearly for it.

I'll probably show more flashbacks in future chapters. I think it helps to know the past to understand the future. Does that sound mysterious? Lol, I wasn't trying to be, but if you've read my stories before, you know that I like ending my chapters with riddles... or I'm just hella weird, it's up to you.

'Til the next one!