Contrary to his calm appearance, Jaejoong was wracked with nerves. He had no idea what Jisoo wanted from him.

Then again, when he agreed to spend Christmas with Yunho, he knew there was a likelihood of running into the woman. After all, she only lived a few doors down. He was surprised it didn’t happen the day before.

Nevertheless, he steeled himself for the confrontation.

Opening the door, he caught sight of her, leaning on the opposite wall, waiting for him. He closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, not wishing to move closer to her.

She was silent at first, pretty eyes observing him. He took the opportunity to observe her back.

She looked the same as the last time he saw her, maybe a little thinner, judging from how she seemed to drown in that giant sweater. Her hair seemed to lack the bounce it once had, like she had stopped caring for it. Overall, she looked like she had gone to hell and back.

“Jaejoong-shii,” she greeted.

He tilted his head. “Jisoo-shii. What do you want?”

She flinched, biting her lip as she looked at the floor.

Jaejoong found it somewhat funny that a few months ago, she had been confident and so sure of herself when she thanked him for giving Yunho to her and promised to take care of him. It was that sense of entitlement that made him snap and hit the woman, something he never thought he would ever resort to doing, granted since he had eight older sisters. But, he did and felt no remorse for it.

One slap from him and she was reduced to this? Or perhaps it was Yunho’s doing. Jaejoong was aware that Yunho had been avoiding her. He didn’t even talk about her. Whenever she was accidentally brought up, the other acted like he hadn’t heard her name.

“Jaejoong-shii… it’s Christmas…” she started and finally, her eyes connected with his, pleading him. “Won’t you let me have Yunho, even for just one more night?”

To be frank, Jaejoong was appalled that she even dared to ask for such a thing, as if Yunho was some toy she wanted to borrow and return when she was done.

Was this how she saw Yunho? Something she could own? She claimed to love him yet her actions were that of a jealous child.

“That’s Yunho’s decision, not mine,” he responded. And just to be cheeky, he added, “Have you asked him? You’ve managed to lure him into bed before, haven’t you? Even though he had a ring on his finger and a fiancé waiting at home? Now he has no ring nor a fiancé. It should be easy for you.”

He felt cruel and petty, but the girl’s eyes flashing in anger at him only strengthened his resolve.

“If you’re not together anymore, then let him go!” she said to him.

“I did let him go. He refuses to leave.” Jaejoong tilted his head to the side before pushing himself off the wall. “If that’s all you want to say, then we’re done here. I have some cooking to finish and-.”

“I told Yunho I was pregnant!”

Jaejoong paused, true horror sinking into this stomach.

Pregnant? She was pregnant? His eyes flashed to her stomach. It was flat. There was nothing there. But, perhaps, did Yunho sleep with her again? Even after he said he was going to make it up to Jaejoong?!

But, wait… she said “was”.

He forced his face to remain impassive as he watched her, hoping that she would further explain herself.

“He told me that if I was pregnant, he would take responsibility,” she said, proudly.

A stab to his heart but he didn’t let it show.

“That’s just the kind of man Yunho is,” he said to her in a bored tone, even if his stomach was in knots. “You can be sure to count on him not to shirk his responsibilities.”

Though he did let Jaejoong down, but he would prefer not to dwell on that and open that can of worms again. He was supposed to be moving on.

Meanwhile, his nonchalance seemed to make Jisoo falter and she was at a loss for words.

Jaejoong simply sighed. “Merry Christmas then, Jisoo-shii.”

He sent a curt bow in her direction before going back inside the apartment, his heart beating fast in his.

Blood pumped against his ears as he stomped to the kitchen where the rest were still waiting.

Yunho stood at attention when he entered, looking worried. “Jae, what-.”

SMACK!

Junsu gasped loudly but all Jaejoong could feel were the tears streaming down his face, the sting on his palm when it collided with Yunho’s cheek, and the painful pounding of his heart against his chest.

Yunho only looked back at him in shock. “Jaejoong-.”

“Jung Yunho,” he growled. “Is that woman pregnant?”

The other’s eyes widened. “What? No! She’s not!”

“How do you know?!”

“Have you seen her, Jae? She’s as thin as a stick! I don’t think she’s eating right either!”

“So now you’re worried about her health?!”

“No, that’s not what I meant!” Yunho grabbed his arms to stop another oncoming slap. “Jae, listen to me!”

“Listen to what?! What other lies are you going to spout at me now, Jung?!”

“Jisoo is not pregnant! She’s not! The day I left to come home for Chuseok, she cornered me. I said some things and told her that I don’t have feelings for her, so to stop me from leaving, she told me she was pregnant. But, then she admitted that it was a lie! Jaejoong, it’s a lie. She’s not pregnant. I swear to you, she’s not. Please… P-Please believe me.”

Jaejoong finally looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. He wasn’t lying.

“Are you sure she’s not pregnant?” Changmin asked, his own face bearing suspicion.

“Yes! The woman drinks soju like it’s water!” Yunho explained with a loud exasperated sigh. “Even on the day she told me that, she invited me to have drinks with her. If she was really pregnant, she wouldn’t put herself or a baby at risk like that.”

“Then… why didn’t you tell me?” Jaejoong said, unable to stop himself from feeling hurt. “You could have told me. Then, I wouldn’t have been so caught off-guard.”

“I’m sorry. But, to be honest, I forgot about it. And I didn’t think it was important. I didn’t… I didn’t think she’d even use it on you.”

“Everything that woman does to you, Yunho, is important. How am I supposed to trust you?!”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Yunho lifted one of Jaejoong’s hands to his lips. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I’ll tell you everything, I promise. I’m sorry.”

And Jaejoong knew that he was. He could see it in his eyes. That girl was truly the bane of their existence. He believed Yunho. He may not have completely forgiven him for what he did, but he believed him.

So, in apology for his slap, he gently the inflicted spot with a gentle thumb. “I’m sorry I slapped you,” he said. “It’s all red now.”

Yunho grinned cheekily at him. “But still handsome, right?”

And just like that, his anger disappeared. The air was suddenly calm again. Even their friends seemed to have released the breaths they had been holding.

Jaejoong wrinkled his nose and shoved Yunho’s face away. “Alright, if you are not chopping or doing dishes, out of my kitchen!”

“I love it when you call my kitchen your kitchen.”

“Out!”

With a chuckle, Yunho walked out, followed by a stunned-looking Changmin. Poor kid. He probably didn’t expect his normally passive Jaejoong-hyung to lash out like that.

To be honest, Jaejoong was shocked at his own actions. He had a hand against Yunho’s face before he even realized what he was doing.

Meanwhile, from his spot on the table, Yoochun growled as he continued his chopping. “I’m gonna kill that .”

Junsu sighed and turned back to his dishes. “You and me both,” he said, scrubbing passionately at a pan.

Jaejoong sighed. “Sorry you guys had to see that,” he said, turning back to the stove.

His kimchi jjigae was only half cooked and he still had to fry the japchae as soon as Yoochun was done with the vegetables.

“Jae… are you sure you’re okay with this?” Yoochun asked, pausing from his chopping. “Being around Yunho?”

“Yes, Yoochun, I’m fine.” He sighed as he stirred the soup. “Yunho is making a lot of effort to fix us. And, I’m trying to do the same.” He could practically feel the fire burning in his eyes. “What Jisoo does is none of my concern.”

“What did she want from you?” Junsu asked. “It couldn’t have been just to tell you that she was supposedly pregnant.”

“She asked me to give Yunho to her for Christmas, even for just one night.”

Jaejoong felt dirty just saying that and based on his two friend’s reactions, so did they.

“Wow, she truly has no shame,” Junsu said, shaking his head. “I could never be with a woman like that. She seems high-maintenance.”

“And crazy,” Yoochun added. “Don’t forget crazy.”

Jaejoong’s brows furrowed. “I don’t get it. Why does she want Yunho so much? The way she always talked about him… like he was something to own.”

“Beats me,” Yoochun said. “But, if Yunho-hyung wants to keep his sanity, he better stay away from her.”

“Yeah…”

Jaejoong pursed his lips in contemplation, wondering yet again, exactly how they got to this point.

It was a half hour to midnight when Yoochun, Junsu, and Changmin passed out all over the living room floor, surrounded by bottles of beer and soju, wrapping paper, unwrapped presents, and leftover food.

They had spent the evening eating, singing, and even video chatting with their families to wish them a Merry Christmas. Then, they had sat down and opened presents.

Yunho had thought long and hard about the perfect present for Jaejoong. He felt that a romantic gift, like ones he used to give him back in the day, was out of the question so he had opted for a more neutral yet thoughtful gift. So, he had gotten him a set of cool neckties he found in a department store during one of his strolls to avoid going home early. The neckties had musical note patterns and thought they would be perfect for the other.

Jaejoong had laughed at the gifts, announcing that he would wear the one with the treble clefs on his first day back to school.

And Jaejoong had gifted him with a brand new leather bag that he could use for work.

“You mentioned once that your bag was falling apart,” he said as Yunho stared mesmerized at the good quality leather. “So, I saw this one day and thought you could use it.”

Yunho had been so happy that he hugged the other man as tight as he could, thanking him for the gift.

After presents, they did more singing, more eating, and more drinking. Finally, the other three had passed out.

Meanwhile, Yunho and Jaejoong were both still awake and seated on the couch, cross-legged, and very drunk, themselves. But, Yunho was still pretty coherent and so was Jaejoong.

Why they both held back on the drinking, they didn’t know why. But, it was nice, finally having a peaceful moment to themselves without the loudness of the other three.

“Ahhh, I wish we could stay in Seoul longer,” Jaejoong said, leaning back on the couch, sighing. “There’s so much to see.”

“Well, if those three aren’t puking their guts out tomorrow, we can go sightseeing if you want,” Yunho said with an excited smile. “You said you’ve always wanted to see the Han River, so we can go there. And I know Yoochun and Junsu want to go shopping at the COEX mall.”

“Changmin would probably love to eat everywhere,” Jaejoong mused, laughing as he looked fondly at the maknae, who was sprawled all over Yoochun’s legs.

Tomorrow, he would probably make a fuss about how Yoochun’s bony leg made an uncomfortable pillow. And Yoochun would retort that he at least had a pillow when the older had been lying on his own arms the entire night.

Jaejoong and Yunho laughed at the thought as a comfortable silence befell them.

On the wall, the clock ticked, loudly, stating that it was twenty minutes to midnight and Christmas would be over.

“Yunho?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry that I slapped you today.”

“Nah, don’t be. I deserved it.”

Jaejoong flashed him a surprised look, but Yunho simply smiled.

“I deserve so much more than a slap, Jaejoongie,” he continued. “Sometimes, I wonder why you’re too kind to me.”

Jaejoong bit his lip and turned away, opting to stare towards Junsu’s direction. “I feel like if I stew in anger, I’ll end up becoming one of those grumpy, bitter old men who yell at the sky for everything wrong with his life.” He sighed. “I’m tired of being angry at you, Yunho. And I’m even tired of being angry at Jisoo. I just… I just want some peace of mind. I just want to be happy again.”

“Then, I’ll do everything I can to make sure you get it,” Yunho swore, determined. “I caused this, Jaejoong. Will you let me help you?”

Finally, the other looked back at him with a smile. “Even if I say no, you probably will, anyway. And I’m grateful for that, Yunho. Even after everything, you continue to look out for me.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I… I know that you know this already and I know that it’s annoying when I keep repeating it when you’re not ready and I’m sorry, again, but… you know that I love you, Jae. Always have and always will.”

Jaejoong’s smile never left his lips. “I know, Yunho.”

Silence befell them once more. The clock announced fifteen minutes to midnight.

“Yunho?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something? And be honest with me, please.”

“Sure. What is it?”

Jaejoong looked at him, inquisitively. “How do you feel about Jisoo?”

Yunho’s brows raised in surprise. “Jisoo?”

Jaejoong nodded and there was no trace of malice or anger on his face, none that Yunho could see. The other was genuinely curious.

Truth be told, Yunho hadn’t thought about his feelings for Jisoo except that he had thought she was a good friend to him, someone he could rely on while he was navigating the city jungle that was Seoul.

“I don’t feel anything for her, Jaejoong,” he said, honestly. “I saw her as a friend, a really good friend. There aren’t too many people my age in this building and she was the closest one. I just… I needed a friend. But… I didn’t realize that she had wanted more. If I had known, I would have maintained my distance before… before it all happened. I… I still wish I had closed the door that day instead of letting her in… Jaejoong… Please believe me.”

To his relief, Jaejoong nodded. “I believe you. Thank you.”

They sat in silence once more. On the wall, the clock said that it was ten minutes to midnight.

“Yunho?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m really drunk.”

Yunho laughed. “I know. I’m drunk too.”

Jaejoong turned to him again, head tilted to the side with a thoughtful look. “When people are drunk, they can’t control their actions, right?”

Yunho pursed his lips and nodded. “For some people, that’s the case. Why?”

Instead of answering, Jaejoong said, “I have one more present for you.”

The other’s brow raised in curiosity. “You do?”

Jaejoong nodded and to Yunho’s shock, he clumsily unfolded himself from his position and climbed onto his lap, settling himself comfortable with each leg on either side of Yunho’s.

The other’s breath hitched as his heart began pounding against his chest from the close proximity. It had been ages since Jaejoong had been this close to him. And Yunho’s hands, as if suddenly remembering what they normally did, flew to Jaejoong’s sides to hold him.

“J-Jae?” he questioned, his mind blanking out on any further questions.

“I’m drunk, okay?” Jaejoong said, before grinning. “Merry Christmas, Yunho.”

Then, he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to Yunho’s.

The latter froze, his mind exploding with a mixture of emotions – happiness, excitement, lust, love.

He had not tasted Jaejoong’s lips since the day he left Gwangju to start his new life in Seoul. And at that moment, he was a starving man who had finally gotten a taste of the one thing his heart had longed and hungered for.

Jaejoong’s lips were insistent against his, coaxing him to respond and once he had gotten over the shock, Yunho closed his eyes and hungrily and enthusiastically returned the kiss.

His fingers gently Jaejoong’s side and the latter pressed closer to him in response, his own fingers entwining themselves in Yunho’s hair.

They kissed until they were out of breath and Jaejoong was the first to pull away. Yunho kept his eyes closed for a few moments more, praying and hoping that it wasn’t a dream when he opened his eyes.

When he finally did, the sight of Jaejoong made the longing and hunger in his heart intensify. The latter’s eyes were lidded, swollen lips in a shy smile as he gazed at Yunho, lovingly.

Yunho missed that gaze. He missed having him in his arms. He missed this. He missed his Jaejoong.

From the corner of his eye, he spied the clock. Five minutes to midnight.

“Jae,” he whispered. “It’s still Christmas for another five minutes.” He swallowed, nervously as his heart pounded against his chest in painful longing. “Do you think… I can have you for five more minutes? Just until the end of Christmas? I won’t ask again, I promise. I just-.”

Jaejoong placed a finger on his lips with a “shhh” then a chuckle. “You still talk so much when you’re nervous, Jung,” he stated before nodding. “Let’s make the most of the time left. After all, I’m drunk, remember?”

Yunho could only nod as Jaejoong leaned in again, kissing him just as hungrily and passionately as before. Yunho could feel wetness slide down his cheeks to his lips, wondering if it was him or Jaejoong who was crying.

The painful ache in his chest told him that he was crying. And the tight grip Jaejoong had on his hair let him know that Jaejoong was too.

And he knew that tomorrow, they would both pretend that they were too drunk to remember this kiss. Yunho would pretend that he didn’t feel that spark of hope blossom inside him. It was a cruel punishment, one that he deserved.

But, for just five more minutes tonight, they could pretend that they still belonged to each other.

Only the clock was a witness to the love that still poured out from them both that night.

And then, it struck midnight.

Two days later, the five friends busied themselves all morning with packing up and getting ready to head home.

They had some leftover food, which Jaejoong divided equally and placed in Tupperware boxes he had bought the day before during their sightseeing. Yoochun and Junsu were both trying to figure out how to fit all bags of clothing they had bought at the COEX Mall into Yoochun’s tiny trunk along with all of their luggage and Yunho’s.

With a few battles and a lot of Tetris, they finally managed to get everything into the car. After a quick lunch and some last minute checks on the apartment windows and appliances, they were finally ready to go.

Chatting with each other, they waited until Yunho had turned off all the lights before locking the door.

Just as he was turning the key, a door down the hall opened.

Jisoo approached them, determinedly, holding the same gift bag Yunho had seen her with two days ago.

Yunho could swear that all five of them had held their breaths at the sight of her.

She smiled at him. “Yunho, I didn’t get the chance to give you your present.” She stretched her arms out to him, holding the bag politely with two hands. “Please accept this.”

Behind him, Yunho heard a snort. Probably from Changmin.

He looked at the bag, then Jisoo, who looked expectantly at him. “I’m sorry, Jisoo-shii, but I can’t accept your gift.”

He swore he heard someone release a breath behind him. He wasn’t too sure who it was.

The young woman’s face fell, but she struggled to maintain her smile. “But, it’s for you. If you’re worried about not getting me a gift, I’m fine-.”

“Jisoo-shii,” he interrupted, as politely as he could. “It’s really inappropriate receiving a gift from you, given our… circumstances. I really cannot accept your gift.”

“Yunho-.”

“We’re going to get stuck in traffic if we keep idling,” Changmin said out loud, clear irritation in his voice. “Hyung, let’s go.”

Thankful for Changmin’s help, Yunho politely tilted his head to Jisoo and turning around, he followed his friends to the elevator.

As the doors closed, they all released a collective breath.

“Wow, so that was her,” Yoochun commented, looking uncomfortable. “She’s quite… something.”

Yunho snuck a peek at Jaejoong, who was standing beside him.

The other had remained quiet throughout the entire exchange and even now, his face was impassive as he stared straight ahead of him.

Taking a chance, he reached out with a finger to touch Jaejoong’s hand. It twitched, lightly. Jaejoong turned to him with a small smile before turning his gaze back to the front.

As Yoochun drove home, Jaejoong stared out the window, a thoughtful and faraway look on his face. He only talked when asked a question.

Yunho couldn’t help but feel guilty, so he gently knocked his leg with his.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Jaejoong smiled a small smile. “What for?” he asked.

“Just… for everything,” was all he could say.

Jaejoong patted him on the leg in reassurance and looked back out the window.

The holidays passed and soon, everyone was back to their usual daily grind.

Jaejoong was as busy as ever, but he couldn’t really complain. He loved his work. He loved his students. He loved doing what he did as a teacher and knew that it was exactly what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

One day, Hyori called him over for a talk before he had to leave for the day. He had been expecting this talk for a while now, so he wasn’t surprised when she asked him about his future plans when the school year was over.

“Have you started looking?” she asked. “If you need a recommendation, you know you can always ask me.”

Jaejoong nodded, excitedly. “As a matter of fact, sunbae, I already have a list of potential places. I just need to look in on them more, but I have my eye on a few. So, I would definitely not hesitate to ask you for that recommendation.”

She nodded, smiling in excitement. “Oh, Jaejoong, it’s so wonderful to see you spreading your wings! It brings me joy as a teacher!”

“I’ve learned so much from you, sunbae. I can never thank you enough for your guidance.”

“Wherever it is your wings take you, I have no doubt that you will excel.” She patted him on the arm. “I’m sure your family are very proud.”

As a matter of fact, they were quite supportive of Jaejoong’s plans for the future.

But, now, all he had to do was tell his friends. He hoped they would be happy for him too.

He slightly worried about how Yunho would react. But, he had to remind himself that this was his life and his choice.

It was what he wanted.

"Yunho?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't want you to move to Seoul, anymore."

Yunho his side to look at him, but Jaejoong couldn't or else he would cry. 

They were spending one last night together, in Jaejoong's bedroom at home, before Yunho was supposed to leave for Seoul the next morning.

"I thought you were okay with this, baby?" Yunho placed a hand on his cheek. "What happened?"

"I... It's just... I'm going to miss you... And..." Jaejoong swallowed the lump in his throat. "I... I thought that we would always be together."

"But, we are.  We're still together, even if we're far away from each other."

"But..." Jaejoong bit his lip. "It's going to feel different without you."

"I know." Yunho pulled him closer. "It will only be for a while. You'll be following me to Seoul, remember? And then we'll start living together for the rest of our lives, just like we planned, okay?" Yunho kissed his forehead. "I love you, Jae. We'll be together again soon, I promise."

Ever since they were young, Yunho, Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, and later on, Changmin, always celebrated the two eldest’s birthdays together. Since the two were born only a week apart, it made sense.

So, every year, they alternated. Since they celebrated on Jaejoong’s birthday last year, they were to spend it on Yunho’s this year.

The latter was coming down from Seoul and they had plans to go to dinner and then noraebang right after.

That night, Yoochun came to pick him up so they could drive to the BBQ place together. He waited around, lounging on Jaejoong's bed and poking at the things on the bedside table, as Jaejoong got ready.

“Do you think I should go with the red sweater or blue?”

“Red is nice with your skin tone.”

“Should I style my hair?”

“Even if you don’t, it miraculously stays neat, anyway. Seriously, Jae, what’s your secret?”

Jaejoong laughed as he pulled the sweater on. “Good genes,” he answered before grabbing a comb and tackling his hair.

He debated putting in a little product. when they were dating, Yunho always liked Jaejoong's hair without any cause he liked playing with the strands and the hair product just made his fingers greasy.

But, there was that annoying cowlick in the back that just refused to stay down…

“Jae? What are these papers?”

He briefly turned his head to see what Yoochun was pointing at. “Oh, job applications. For schools that I’ve looked at that need music teachers. There’s a couple of private schools in there, but I think I’d like to go to a public one. I feel like I'll make a bigger difference there, even though the pay is not much, but hey, we all start somewhere right?”

He finally decided to use just a little of the product for that weird-looking cowlick.

“I’ve checked out their music programs too and Hyori-sunbae has a few connections who can get me more info. But, I’ve labeled the ones I’m leaning towards the most. They have the blue sticky notes.”

Finally, that cowlick was flat against his head and he looked as neat and primp as he felt.

“Jae?”

“Yeah?” He turned around to show himself to Yoochun. “How do I look?”

Yoochun gave him a once over and then a thumbs up. “Handsome.”

Jaejoong grinned. “Exactly what I was going for.”

Yoochun smiled back before looking down at the papers with a thoughtful look.

“So… these are the ones you want to teach at?”

At the realization of what he had just accidentally revealed to his friend, Jaejoong began to feel guilty. He had been hoping to tell them at a much more appropriate time and setting. But, he supposed now was good as any.

“Um… Yeah… I was going to tell you guys, eventually,” he started, taking a seat next to his friend on the bed.

Yoochun looked up at him, confused, and a little hurt as well. “But… none of these schools are in Gwangju.”

Another sigh from Jaejoong. “That’s… what I wanted to tell you guys.”

He took a deep breath. “I’m… moving… I’m leaving Gwangju.”

A/N: Dun. Dun. Dun.

So, now Jae is planning on leaving Gwangju. Where does that leave Yunho? I guess we'll find out in the next chapter, won't we?

I feel like all the moments that Jaejoong and Yunho had are all just super angst-y and painful and so, I wanted to give them a sweet moment too. A sort of reminder of their love for each other, even though they are no longer together. It goes to show that Jaejoong does still love him, but the pain of betrayal does not make it easy for him to express his feelings nor does he feel comfortable doing so. 

And, yes, it does seem like Yunho is benefitting and not being punished enough, but don't forget that even though he is slowly getting back in Jaejoong's good graces, he still doesn't have the same relationship with him as before. He still can't freely move and express his feelings for Jaejoong in the ways he wants because Jaejoong has not given him the permission or the forgiveness that he wants and needs. And they can't move forward without those two.

So, honestly, they're both just sort of emotionally torturing each other and themselves, at this point.

As for Jisoo... the girl has guts, mind you, but they are terribly misplaced! She is still holding on to that hope, but I have one more plan for her, so I think you might be seeing her one last time. Lol, also, for those who told me about how they think of BlackPink's Jisoo, I've figured out a way to separate the two! So, BlackPink's Jisoo is a Kim. My Jisoo here is a Han. So, they're not the same person at all! Problem solved!

Anywho, I'll try to update quickly, but I will be a bit busy this week due to visiting family. So, please don't be worried if the next update is a little late. As always, feel free to share your thoughts and theories with me in the comments!

'Til the next one!