September 15, 2017

Dear Minhyun,

Now that school started, I'm seeing you every day. You're in two of my classes.
We sit next to each other. We don't talk.
We eat together at lunch. We still don't talk. 

You're right next to me, yet I feel as if you're galaxies away.
Out of habit, reach for your hand, but stop myself. I can't do that anymore.
I want to talk to you, but I'm afraid. 

When did things suddenly become so awkward between us?

Are you holding back the way I do?

I got a hair cut and didn't tell you. You didn't mention it.
Are you wondering why I changed my hair style? Do you want to comment on it, too?

It's hard to see you every day. It's hard to not see you at all.
All of it is just really hard and it gets worse every day. 
I hate this, but I don't hate you. 

I don't know how to act around you. Should I even be this close to you after everything we went through?

All I know is that for now, I'll just hold back.

Love,

Sehee