It’s not that pleasant having your friends sit in front of you, pinching your cheeks and joking around. “Aw, how cute,” one of them mumbles. “You had a fight with your girlfriend and now you’re all grumpy.” “Totally adorable,” the other one cooes. Well no, it’s not cute. Cute are the pillow fights we have when Jennie makes cheesy comments or teases me about my makeup. Cute are the minutes she spends tickling me while getting death threats in return. Cute are the times when she leaves me on read without noticing and I end up pouting for the rest of the day. This is not cute. The first real fight with your girlfriend is not cute. Especially when said girlfriend ends up being a non-communicative ‘whatever you say, I don’t really care’ typa . It’s a damn struggle. Oh, God, where do I even start with these?! The Struggles of the First (Absolutely NOT Cute) Fight. (There’s an elephant in the room. What now?) No. 1: How does the elephant get in the room: “Whatever” You know how there are safe words people use during , a kind of reminder that they might actually be hurting and (God help my sadistic soul and forgive my sins) even seeing their life flash before their eyes? Well, yeah, you know about these words, just as well as you know of certain words that scream WAR whenever are said between two people. “Jen,” you almost yell, because it’s the third time you call her name, trying to get her attention. “Hmm?” she hums, still typing away on her phone. You’re out on a lunch date. You and the wall of course, because your supposed to be partner has been on her phone, leaving your words fall into deaf ears during the whole time. You fish out your phone and find her contact name, opening the small message box. [Chichu 11:53] I spilled lipstick on your Gucci bag. “Not now babe,” she replies, a frown drawn on her face that your message (which you thought to be hilarious) didn’t ease. You see her finger sliding away your message. It irritates you more. “Is there something wrong?” you sigh, waiting for a good enough reason to why she has been ignoring you, or why she had been so moody all morning. You want to talk about it. About her mood changes and the way she feels, but you’re not quite sure on how to approach this situation since she’s usually shrugging it off and jumping into other subjects, pretending there’s nothing wrong. “Just this thing with Rosé,” she mumbled, looking up from her phone briefly. “What thing?” you ask, but she shrugs in response. “Look,” she sighs after a while, her fingers combing her hair in frustration, “I’m sorry for ignoring you. I just have to deal with something. Let me walk you home?” “It’s alright,” you breath out, picking up your things, throwing an eye roll towards her. “I have to stop by the tailor anyway.” “Really? What for?” she absently asks, checking her phone once again. “For a quick ,” you say in annoyance. As if you haven’t been talking about the dress and the event during the whole lunch time. But of course, she doesn’t know. Because of course, she wasn’t paying attention. Cause of course, she had that thing with Rosé which she won’t tell you about. You know, she never tells you anything that bothers her. There’s this wall between you two, filled with things she feels and thoughts she has, but she never seems to share. It makes you feel distant. You hate distant. “Why are you being so bitter? I told you I’m sorry and I promise I’ll make it up to you,” by now her voice is coming out stressed. “Alright, alright,” you sigh in defeat, because maybe, only maybe, you were slightly overreacting. “I’ll see you tonight?” “Yeah, whatever.” And it went downhill from there. No.2: How to avoid the elephant in the room (even though it’s crushing your lover): “Dunno. I’m just not in the mood” So maybe there was a real problem. Maybe it was a Rosé problem and Jennie couldn’t talk about another person’s problem even to you, her girlfriend, so she could protect said other person’s privacy. It’s cool. You’re a grown up. You understand. You’ll see her tonight and it will be fixed in a blink. She’ll look at you with those gorgeous cat eyes that you oh so much like to drown into and she’ll give you that baby smile of hers, puffed cheeks and soft giggles. “Hey baby,” she’ll say, “sorry for today.” And everything will be cleared up after a long talk you two will have over dinner. As if. “Hey, what’s up,” she mumbles as you open the door, briefly kissing your cheek and taking off her leather jacket. You remind yourself to breathe. Firstly, because as always, she is breathtakingly beautiful and secondly, you don’t want to be