When I first met Rosé and Lisa, I made the bold statement that meeting Jennie's parents wouldn't be half as stressful as meeting her friends. 'Oh, you just buy wine and flowers and you talk about things here and there all while laughing and rapidly blinking your eyelashes-'. Was I on crack? Was I completely out of my head and under some type of drug when I wrote that and maybe (because I hope you're not as stupid as me) convinced you all into believing that was true?! Absolute insanity. Now of course, different people have different quirks, rough edges which you need to know and caress so you can get on their good side when giving a first impression, and Jennie's parents were no exception. What made them a special case, it's the fact that Jennie Kim, the girl of my dreams and struggles, tends to be forgettful, or pretends she is and just like that, it slips off of her mind to mention little details regarding her parents that take the usual level of nervousness unreachably high. At times like this, all while having a major , I am left helpless to the point that I ask the brainless duo of our friends to fix the situation I'm in. The only problem being, one of them is parents' favorite girl who'd they rather date their daughter and the other one, they just simply hate. (I know, I know, hate is a strong word, and that's exactly why I used it.) Now, did I awake them at 4AM to help me figure everything out before Jennie got up? Of course. Did Lisa almost try to kill me? Sure. Do I regret it? Not even a bit. If I suffer, they suffer with me. It sounds bad, and it feels even worse. The struggles of meeting her parents (AKA the do's and don't's according to Chaelisa and the evil Jennie Kim is) No.1: "You're going to church." For a saint, Rosé sure has a mouth in the morning, crusing and hissing you as you try to wake her up. "What?! What is it you want?!" she finishes up her growling rant as she glares at you with her clenched jaw and furrowed eyebrows, eyes shimmering death glares in the dark. "I'm meeting Jennie's parents today and I have no idea what to do, or wear, or anything," you whine, adding a fake pout in hopes she'd pity you. "You're their favorite, dude. Help me out." "Firstly, never ever say 'dude' again and secondly, a floral dress or some jeans and a t-shirt would be fine," Lisa says, covering her head with the pillow. You contemplated suffocating her. "Unless the dress is shorter than five centimeters above the knee or the jeans are tight and ripped," Rosé adds. "Huh?! I don't think Jennie's parents would be too conservative. Their daughter is literally a hot-- fashionista," you roll your eyes, because you're sure Rosé's overreacting. "Okay, you are Ms. Helpless," Rosé finally gets up, running a hand through her hair in frustration. "Jennie might be anything, but she's their daughter and you're the culprit who took her innocence. They'll look at every little detail and connect it to the possibility that you'll ruin Jennie's life, so you should stay on the safe side all the time. Think it this way. You're going to church to meet the priest because you've been caught doing something ilegal that has earned you community service hours." "That absolutely makes no sense." "Oh, but it does," it was time for Lisa to get up and look at you annoyed, rolling her sleep deprived eyes. "You've defiled their child and now you're paying for your sins, having to prove you're a descent member of the society that is ready to take responsability." "Firstly," you say with a mocked tone through the blush that's spreading on your face, "never ever say 'defile' again and secondly," you turn your attention back to Rosé, "should I look like a prude, or something? "No, just descent. You've already got that korean charm, innocent and simple beauty. Just dress casually classy," Rosé shrugs. "Not too much jewellery and not too much make up. Just enough of everything. Be your cute girly self." "But not too girly, you know," Lisa adds with a grin. "You gotta assert dominance. Show them there's a new daddy in town." Sorry to inform that after that certain sentence being spoken, Lisa's body was found dead in a ditch. Make sure to check out the new Buzzfeed Unsolved article for more information. No.2: "Never say 'No' to food." You learn the second lesson as the three of you sit on the sidewalk outside a 24h supermarket that's close to the motel you're staying in. It's around 4:30 and you can tell Lisa is trying to recover from her fast and painful almost death experience as she sips on her black coffee, mumbling incomprehensible things as she points to the cars parked in that area. You wonder if your friend lacks mental stability in the morning. "Want some?" Rosé, on the other hand, has come to accept her miserable fate and is chewing her sleep deprived head away with raw instant noodles. You scrunch your nose and pull the coffee cup you're holding closer to your face, your stomach doing backflips as the food scent reaches your senses. It was too early for this. "Disgusting. How can you even ask that?!" Lisa beats you to it and Rosé simply looks at her with an arched eyebrow. "Why? What's wrong?" "Just get that thing off of my face," you move away. "I'm already nausseous as it is." Rosé simply shrugs and mumbles somthing under her breath that you swear you hear as a death threat, satanic words mixed with the last name Kim and the mentioning of parents. "What'd you say?" "Nothing," she says nonchalantely and you exhale to calm your nerves. "But what if we stay over and when you wake up, all Jennie's parents give you to eat is instant noodles?!" And the nerves are back while the breath you take gets stuck in your throat. "They're business people, Jisoo. They're busy and they don't have time for fancy breakfasts, but I doubt they'd eat such juvenile and unhealthy thing as cereal too. So, will you refuse their noodles if that's all they give you?" her expression is too serious for Jisoo to assume this is a sick joke she's making. "Absolutely not, that'd show you weren't raised right! And what if her mother offers a second cup after that, what do you do?! That's right," she snaps her fingers and you admit, you're scared. "you take it. You eat that cup noodle and you show off that model smile of yours to pretend you like it. You have to eat everything they give you, whenever they give it to you." "Except their daughter," Lisa interrupts. "Please, no matter how much they indicate it, never agree. It's a test. Nobody wants to hear someone say they're banging their daughter," she has eyelids closed but somehow won't keep shut as she talks and makes your cheeks burn red. "Yes, allow Jennie's parents to decide if they like you before you bring up the fact that you're doing unholy things with their daughter. Now eat up," Rosé pushes the cup towards you. "Practice." Okay, maybe it's Rosé who's found dead in the ditch. No.3: "Hand holding is allowed." You're going around the supermarket looking at wine bottles and whiskey brands with a pushy Rosé, who by now is fully awake, and a zombie Lisa dragging her feet lazily behind you. "Lisa's right tho," Rosé breaks the deafening silence. "I know you're not going to walk in there and introduce yourself as Jennie's top, but you should also be careful not to give the impression that you are indeed practicing bunk beds with her." "The figures of speech you use," you say, picking up a wine bottle and pretending to analyze it, as if you knew anything about wine at all, "I despise them. They're stupid and weird and surprisingly, they make sense." Rosé has that annoying grin all over her face that makes her cheeks pop up. You're so tired of her right now. "Anyway," she resumes talking, taking the bottle from your hand and placing it back on the shelf. "Get sparkling wine," she concludes, picking up a different bottle. "You never know if Jennie's parents are into alcohol or not. You can't go there flexing bottles of wine that would get you drunk after a couple of glasses." "They'd think you're a messed up alcoholic who's getting their daughter drunk and taking advantage of her," Lisa breathes for the first time since you entered the place and you want her to stop doing that, the breathing, the existing. "Sparkling wine is a safe choice. It's light and tastes great. It's not too expensive, but it doesn't make you seem cheap either. You show up with this and the dad will think you're financially stable and responsible to take care of their daughter, while the mother will assume you're high class fancy, a good influence." "Pl