The first time Jennie Kim, the amazingly stunning girl from your math class that has been creeping in your thoughts more than she should, asks you out on a date, you’re sixteen and you’re as ually confused as you are ually frustrated. Of course you up Jisoo, it’s alright. However what isn’t alright, is the fact that the second time Jennie Kim, the absolutely gorgeous girl from your dreams that has been violating your heart, asks you out on a date, you still up. What’s your excuse? Now, not to be the devil’s advocate, but if you look up ‘dating’ on your dictionary, it is defined as ‘turning an absolutely normal & chill date of the calendar into a hellish one’. Not exaggerating. So here you have it: The struggles of this particular word that can either make your week awesome, or completely depressing. No.1: The first time she asks you out. You had been playing with your food in the cafeteria as you let yourself go deaf to the conversations your friends are having. Your eyes are stuck on her and you are biting the inside of your cheek, hard. And you think, no, you know that if her candy cane cheeks get anymore pink painted by whatever her friends are saying, you’ll bite so hard you’ll taste blood inside your mouth. She lifts her head and locks her eyes with yours and that’s when you realize that this tiny crush is getting out of control. You snap out of it, but not before realizing that her face had gotten a darker shade of pink. ‘Damn it! You got this Jisoo. It’s just hormones.’ You repeat that sentence over and over again as your teeth release the inside of your cheek and get a hold of your bottom lip. You probably ruined your lipstick. “Excuse me?” you hear a voice call, honey sweet, dripping inside your mind and making all your five senses explode. You look up and see her, Jennie Kim, with her leather jacket and skinny jeans, baby face and smudged smirk and oh God her hair is falling perfectly on her side and her eyes are shining and you wish you paid more attention during literature class because you can’t find the right word to describe how beautiful she is. More importantly, you can’t find the right word to describe what you’re feeling. “Would you like to go to the senior prom with me? On a date?” she mumbles, her words rushed, but you hear it all perfectly like you are in one of those typical cliché slow-mow move scenes. And here comes the up. You pick the word ‘awkwardly scared’ to describe how you’re feeling so you burst out something that sounds like: “No? What? No, you’re joking. Nope. Bye Jennie.” No.2: The second time she asks you out. You tell her you love her and somehow she says and I quote: “I think I’ve loved you at first sight you ing douchebag.” I won’t tell you how we ended up in my room. I won’t tell you how we woke up in the same bed, but I will however, tell you that she looked like she was celestial when she was sleeping. How did I ever get so lucky? Well, for a second there I thought I didn’t. If the first time of her asking me out went smoothly, the second time, it’s as horrendous as it can get. She has her lips slightly parted and her eyes closed. You don’t know why, but you use your thumb to ease the pressure that’s created between her furrowed eyebrows. Your vocabulary has gotten much more colorful, but you still can’t find the perfect word to describe how mesmerizing she is. You don’t know for how long you’ve been staring, but you snap out of it when you hear your mother calling for you and saying that breakfast is ready. You hiss a couple of curses under your breath before getting up and grabbing clothes from the floor to cover your body. You realize that it’s cold outside, but maybe you’re just missing her warmth. “I’ll be down soon,” you yell back as soon as you get out of your room. “And uh, I have a friend over,” you add rapidly, not waiting for your mother’s reply as you get inside the room. Once again you’re greeted with her sleeping figure and your cheeks heat up for no particular reason. You look down and realize that the shirt you’re wearing is white, stamped over with a band logo that you don’t recognize. You chuckle, and then you wonder, how many of her clothes will you be stealing? “Will you spend, an entire forever, standing there looking like a dork?” she sleepily mumbles as she cuddles further into the pillows. “Oh, shut up and get ready,” you say with an eye roll, but your cheeks flush brighter. You feel like a dork, but you’re not complaining. She makes you feel everything all at once and as you lock your eyes with hers, you believe you like it. That moment gets stuck for a while, drowning in the lazy smiles you share with her. “Jisoo,” she breaks the silence and starts playing with one of her rings. “What is it?” you ask, feeling something unpleasant fill the atmosphere around you two. “Would you go on a date with me?” Th