The flirting was subtle at first. Seungcheol would just randomly compliment Jihoon, give him free beer, mix him free drinks, smile at him brightly, and gaze at him with a look that gave Jihoon shivers because it was too sentimental? It was such an unfamiliar gaze to him, because no one ever looked at him like that before.

When Jihoon picked up on that subtle flirting, he would expose Seungcheol for it immediately. “What the are you looking at me like that for?” “Stop smiling like an idiot. You look stupid.” “Your boss is so going to fire you when I tell him you give me free drinks.”

Seungcheol never denied that he did stare at Jihoon with stars in his eyes. On the contrary, he embraced it, going as far as calling Jihoon “cute.” That earned him a middle finger from Jihoon, but middle fingers never stopped Seungcheol.

But even though Seungcheol did all of that subtle flirting, Jihoon never thought too much into it. He figured that Seungcheol was just that kind of person who flirts with everyone and their mothers. It didn’t mean anything, thought Jihoon. It was creepy and weird as (and he made sure to let Seungcheol know that), but it wasn’t the kind of flirting that called for anything.

But as the two of them spent more time together, Jihoon began to wonder if that wasn’t the case. It was mostly when Seungcheol revealed he had an ex-boyfriend that Jihoon began to have doubts.

“Wait… ex-boyfriend?” Jihoon asked, “as in, the dude had a ?”

“Yes, he definitely had a ,” Seungcheol chuckled.

“You’re gay?” Jihoon asked, just to clarify.

“No, I wouldn’t say I’m gay. More like panual.”

“Oh god, please don’t use that PC lingo on me,” Jihoon winced. “The point is you’re not straight?”

“I’m not.”

Jihoon tried not to think too much about that, but somehow, ever since he found out about this, Seungcheol’s flirty moves became potentially consequential. That unnerved Jihoon to no end, and he didn’t even know why.

A few days later, Jihoon bluntly asked the question that was on his mind ever since: “Choi Seungcheol, I need to make sure of something. When you do like stare at me and compliment me and pay for my drinks, you’re just being your annoyingly sweet self. You aren’t like… seriously flirting or anything, right?”

“Aw, you called me sweet!” Seungcheol smiled.

“I called you annoyingly sweet,” Jihoon snapped.

“Still, you think I’m sweet.”

“Cut the bull and answer my question,” Jihoon demanded.

Seungcheol only laughed then asked: “Jihoon, People don’t often flirt with you, do they?”

“Don’t answer my question with another damn question,” Jihoon fumed.

Unfortunately for Jihoon, Seungcheol had to attend to another customer before he could answer the question. Jihoon waited eagerly until Seungcheol came back and answered.

“No, Jihoon. I’m not seriously flirting with you,” Seungcheol answered him as he went to wash glasses in the basin. “I’m just being annoyingly sweet.”

Jihoon was very relieved to hear that.

-

With encouragement from Seungcheol, Jihoon finally decided to sign up for therapy.

He kept it a secret from his father, from Vernon and from Seokmin. He didn’t need them to know he was going through psychological issues. He felt like they would think of it as a sign of weakness, and he didn’t want to appear weak to them.

But in order to make the payment for the therapy, Jihoon needed money, and it would take months for his weekly allowance to cover the down payment.

Because he didn’t want to tell his father about the therapy, and because he didn’t want to loan money from Seungcheol, he decided to pawn some of his stepmother’s jewelry and buy it back when he collected enough from his allowance. She rarely ever wore jewelry anyways, and she might not even notice that it was gone, thought Jihoon when he came up with the plan.

When he snuck into her room and opened her jewelry box, his eyes caught on to this heavyweight golden necklace with a chain of heart-shaped pieces and large heart-shaped pendant. It caught his eyes because it was so ugly that it made him wince. He bet if he sold it at the pawn shop, no one would buy it, and he’d still find it in the pawn shop in many months when his combined allowance was sufficient to get it back.

And because he had to recollect the money, he couldn’t buy alcohol anymore. So, he didn’t go to the bar and no longer had an excuse to see Seungcheol.

Therapy actually helped him quite a lot. Jihoon didn’t expect much when he signed up, but he found that his therapist was yet another person to whom he could vent, another person who can help him alleviate the burden just a little bit. And even though Jihoon was still cold and rude to her, she seemed unfazed by it, and she later told him that a lot of her clients had the same attitude and that it was a common trait for people who need therapy. She almost became like Seungcheol’s professional replacement.

Seungcheol would call him once every few days just to see how he was faring, and so it wasn’t like they completely cut contact. Jihoon was always happy to see Seungcheol’s name appear on his screen, but he didn’t let Seungcheol know that of course. He would answer with “what do you want?” and the conversation naturally follows from there.

Sometimes they would spend hours on the phone, something that Jihoon never experienced with anyone. Because he talked for so long on the phone, others in his life started to notice.

After a 2-hour phone call with Seungcheol, Jihoon opened to find a text message from Seokmin: “dude, I’ve been trying to call you for hours and it’s still coming out as busy. Who are you talking to???” Seokmin added a smirking emoji to that.

“None of your business,” was Jihoon’s reply.

“So… what’s her name?” Seokmin followed.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb. People don’t talk to others on the phone for hours unless they like them, and you especially wouldn’t do that. I know you finally found someone you liked. Just tell me her name!”

In that moment, Jihoon felt something called heartache. It was kind of this overwhelming pang that he didn’t know how to control. He loved Seokmin, and Seokmin was so completely oblivious to it that it was just painful. It made Jihoon realize that although he and Seokmin are close, they were actually so far apart in many other ways.

Jihoon didn’t answer Seokmin, which Seokmin seemed to take as confirmation that there was a girl involved. Seokmin spammed Jihoon with messages of congratulations and smiley faces and winking faces and hearts. Jihoon muted him.

-

Jihoon thought that his stepmother wouldn’t notice the missing necklace, but she did.

She asked Jihoon if he’d seen it, but he lied and said that he didn’t.

She began to search around the house. At one point, she started to cry, and Jihoon started to feel that thing called guilt that he didn’t often feel.

He later learned this this necklace had sentimental value for her, given to her by her late first husband, and that annoying guilt feeling expanded.

Jihoon counted his savings and realized that he needed at least 4 months more of daily allowances to be able to just collect the money he was given for it, five or six months more to pay its actual price with the profit.

In a desperate attempt to get help, he decided to tell Vernon.

He thought that he could trust Vernon; the two of them had been keeping each other’s secrets since the very beginning. They never ratted one another out to their parents, and they were always on each other’s side. Jihoon thought that this time would be the same.

But it wasn’t. Vernon was furious. “How could you steal my mom’s jewelry and pawn it? Are you insane?”

“Look dude, don’t flip on me. I desperately needed the money and I didn’t have a choice.”

“For what? Alcohol?!” Vernon replied angrily. “You have a problem, hyung. And I’m not going to defend you this time.”

Vernon was aware that Jihoon had often gone to that bar, but he wasn’t aware that Jihoon had recently stopped drinking.

“What the hell, dude?” Jihoon snapped back at his brother. “Why are you snapping at me like this? I didn’t use it for alcohol, chill.”

“Then what? Drugs?” Vernon assumed, still angry. “You’re out of the house more often these days, I know you’re hiding something bad from us. If you needed money, you could have just asked dad, but no you had to steal.”

It was true that Jihoon was out of the house more often, and it was true that he didn’t want to ask for money, but it wasn’t to do drugs or drink alcohol like Vernon seemed to assume. He was going to therapy; he was paying for therapy. But of course, he wasn’t going to tell Vernon that.

“I’ll buy the necklace back,” Jihoon said under his breath. “Stop being an about this and don’t assume you don’t know.”

“I’m being an ? Said the one who stole from my mom!”

“I get it! I was wrong. Now are you going to help me buy it back or not?”

“No,” Vernon replied. “You deal with this on your own and fix your own mess. And you better not come back here until you have the necklace. If you come back here without it, I’m going to tell mom and dad…”

“What the ?!” Jihoon felt betrayed. Vernon was supposed to help him, not issue an ultimatum and make things harder for him. And he sure as hell wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. “Do that, and I’ll tell them about your boyfriend,” Jihoon responded in a moment of rage.

“You wouldn’t,” Vernon replied, but he looked doubtful.

“I would and I will,” Jihoon replied with a frown. With that Jihoon left the house and slammed the door.

-

As he walked down the streets and his anger faded, Jihoon felt heavyhearted. So many things were pulling him down, and for the first time in a long time, he felt those suicidal thoughts resurface.

He hates me. He hates me. He hates me. Jihoon was so sure that Vernon now hated him. Vernon thought he stole his mom’s necklace to buys drugs and alcohol. Vernon also thought that he would rat him out about Seungkwan.

But Jihoon would never do that. He would never put Vernon in that position ever. He was just so angry and felt like he had to fight back, and so that threat fell from his lips, probably distressing Vernon a lot.

He wanted to reassure his brother and tell him that he would never reveal that secret to anyone, but his pride was too strong and so he didn’t. He just decided that he wouldn’t go back home for now. If he didn’t go back home, he wouldn’t have to face his family or Vernon. He wouldn’t have to feel compelled to carry out that threat that he now regretted.

Just the thought that this two-minute conversation broke the trust between him and Vernon made him feel like things were falling apart.

He called the next person he thought he could rely on.

“Hey!!! Jihoonie! What’s up!?” Sunshine Seokmin’s voice rang through the other end of the line.

“I need to borrow money,” Jihoon said immediately. “I’ll pay it back when I can.”

“Sure! How much?” When Jihoon told him the amount, Seokmin gasped. “Why do you need that much!?”

“Can you give it to me or not?”

“I only have like a quarter of that amount right now though,” Seokmin replied. “And also… I was planning on using the money tonight. It’s our one year anniversary since we started dating and…”

“I get it,” Jihoon groaned and resorted to asking the only other person he thought would give him the money.

-

When Seungcheol heard the story of how Jihoon stole the necklace to get money for therapy, he was also angry.

“I could have lent you the money, Jihoon!” Seungcheol told him.

“Well, I didn’t want to ask you, but now I am,” Jihoon replied holding out his hand. Jihoon had gone to Seungcheol’s apartment to explain his dilemma and retrieve the money.

“It’s a big amount,” Seungcheol said. “I’ll just go with you and pay for it by card.”

And so together, they went down to the pawn shop. Jihoon was awfully quiet, and Seungcheol, who knew that Jihoon loved to talk, found that concerning.

“What are you thinking about?” Seungcheol asked him.

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon said, and Seungcheol was taken aback. Jihoon never apologized.

“If this is about the money, then really, don’t worry about it. Pay me back at your own pace. It’s no rush.”

“Why are you so nice to me?” Jihoon asked. “What have I ever done for you for you to lend me this amount? I don’t understand you. I literally flip you off every two seconds; I’m rude to you, but you just…”

“Well, you need me,” Seungcheol answered. “And I know that if I ever needed you, you’d do the same for me.”

“What makes you so sure about that?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “I just know.”

-

When they got to the shop, Jihoon described the heart-shaped necklace to the shop owner.

The shop owner knew it immediately: “it was sold just today. Sorry.”

“What?” Jihoon felt the walls close in on him when he heard that. Without the necklace, he would never earn his brother’s trust or forgiveness. His father would also resent him. He would lose two of the most important people to him; he needed that necklace.

“Do you know that contact information of the person who bought it?” Seungcheol asked.

“No, sorry,” the shop owner replied.

“When was it sold?” Seungcheol continued interrogating the shop owner as Jihoon began to freak out.

“Maybe an hour ago,” the owner said.

“What does the person who bought it look like? Do you remember? Please give us all the details.”

“A tall young woman,” the shop owner said. “That’s all I can tell you.”

“Thank you sir,” Seungcheol told him. “May I leave my contact with you in case this woman comes back?”

As Seungcheol was giving the shop owner his contact information, Jihoon felt a headache come on and he left the shop to get some fresh air. He began to pace, and felt like he was on the verge of breaking down. It almost felt like his life depended on getting back that necklace, because his relationship with his family depended on it. If he lost his family, what did he have left to live for?