:o hi everyone. it's been awhile hasnt it? i know i've been absent for a couple of years now and i would like to apologise for that. i just got caught up with school and other things, i actually wasnt planning on writing again, but after rereading this whole story i felt it should be continued because of the message it holds. i've always wanted to help people and spread awareness on topics that people usually dont talk about. one of my actual dreams is to be a youtuber and to freely talk about whatever i want, im not sure when that will happen but i hope it will. so for now, since all of you are here already, i decided it might be best to continue what has been started. i dont have a direction for this story, so i'll definitely keep going with what i think it needs. if you have any suggestions on what to write about, any topic that you feel should be addressed and talked about, please feel free to leave a comment and i'll do my research and put it into this story as best i can.

thank you so much to those who have subscribed and to those who keep waiting. i hope to fullfil your reading needs. this chapter is a bit heavy on words and dialogue, but i think you guys will enjoy it. thank you again, happy reading <3

“So, Sojung.. Are you in love yet?” Yerin asked with a playful grin. The younger girl couldn’t help but notice how Sojung’s demeanor has changed these past few days. It’s a wonderful sight to see--two girls falling in love, she was rooting for the both of them.

A tint of blush rushes towards Sojung’s somewhat tanned cheeks. But as much as she wants to admit that she is in fact in love with Yuna, there’s something holding her back.

The red haired girl’s expression changes. Yerin was quick to pick up though she’s a little fazed by her own emotions.

“Hey, is something wrong? Did something happen?” Yerin asked worriedly. Sojung remained silent, deep in her thoughts for a couple of more seconds.

“I’m afraid to admit that I’m in love” 

“Why is that?” Yerin prayed that Sojung’s not annoyed with her constant questioning. She was genuinely concerned because as awkward and quiet as Sojung was, she’s never been one to hide her feelings like this. 

Sojung shifted her vision towards their dusty dorm room window, looking outside that’s bright and sunny. The weather is really nice today, her mind went tangent. Sometimes she thinks it’s her brain’s way of coping with stressful thoughts and situations. Her hands started to get clammy, a lump formed in and her lips began to quiver. She was visibly not okay, and Yerin wanted to beat herself up for it. 

“Hey-- I’m sorry Sojung, I didn’t mean to make you upset. What’s going on? You can talk to me I promise” 

A tear unwillingly left Sojung’s eye. Once she felt it on her cheek, she snapped out of her thoughts. 

“Wha- oh my god Yerin, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be like this. I promise I’m okay, please don’t apologise. This happens sometimes-I don’t even know why” Sojung quickly wiped the tear off with her palm and sniffled. 

“Sojung, something’s clearly not okay. You know I won’t budge, what’s going on?”

The red haired girl sighed. “Okay. I think I need to face this one way or another. Can you call Sinb to come over? I need both of you here” 

Yerin nodded and immediately went outside with her phone in hand, already ringing her girlfriend’s number.

--

Sinb came as soon as she could, which technically didn’t take that long since they didn’t live so far away from each other. 

“Hi sweetheart,” Sinb greeted Yerin first, giving her girlfriend a kiss on the forehead. She noticed Yerin’s not all that well either, maybe she didn’t get enough sleep last night. 

She sat beside Yerin, hands immediately wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. By Yerin’s body language, Sinb could tell she’s worried. “Hey Sojung, what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry to bother both of you…” Sojung began and the girlfriends both shook their heads vigorously in disagreement.

“Sojung, please. That’s the last thing you’re doing, we want to be here for you, so let us” Sinb tries to convince the taller girl. She nodded and continued.

“Before I came to this university, I was in an almost 2 year long term relationship with someone. Too many things happened. It wasn’t all bad but it definitely wasn’t all good either. I fell in love, I thought. I know that feeling was genuine, it was real. Things went south after a while. I never believed in honeymoon phases, but somehow it ended up that way for the two of us”

Sinb and Yerin listened tentatively, their fingers intertwined with each other. 

“The first few months were almost dreamlike, it was wonderful. But that feeling sort of masked the red flags I should’ve seen with her. She’s such a sweetheart but how can she be so selfish at the same time? I didn’t get it, I still don’t get it. Whenever I think of her now, I cringe because I’ve always been the one putting in effort to understand her and how to make the relationship better and all she does is say that she’ll try but… nothing ever comes through. I’ve grown to keep things to myself because I’m scared what I’d say would hurt her or offend her. In the end, I fell out of love and my feelings towards her turned so sour. I fell out of love, I hate knowing that I’m capable of that. Especially when I’ve met someone as great as Yuna.”

Yerin nodded understandingly. She thinks both herself and Sinb can relate to Sojung’s feelings in this case. She’s definitely thought about the ‘what if’s’ with Sinb, but it doesn’t bother her that much because if it wants to happen, it will happen, right?

“So to put it short, I am scared to admit that I’m in love. I’m scared of putting my heart on the line and trusting someone with my whole being, I’m scared of letting myself be vulnerable and getting nothing again.” Sojung added, both girls deep in their own thoughts trying to process what has been told to them.

 “Damn Sojung… I didn’t know you went through all that, I’m so sorry..” Sinb empathised. She tightens her grip on Yerin’s hands, a way to try and make Yerin speak her mind. 

“Okay, maybe let’s take a look at the worst case scenario.” Sinb then suggested. Sojung only sighed in agreement, rubbing both hands into her face to prepare herself. 

“Let’s say… you are in love with Yuna. And it turns out Yuna was exactly the same as your ex. Yes, I’d doubt that too and it would major , but if that were to happen, wouldn’t you be able to tell and identify all the red flags now since you’ve been through it?”

Yerin finally gives her thoughts on the matter after listening to Sinb. “I agree with you my love, but we also can’t disregard how Sojung’s previous relationship has changed the way she perceives herself and others. Her guards up waaaay higher than it has ever been even when she doesn’t it want to be. I’m sure she wants to trust Yuna with her whole heart, but that’s going to take some time”

Sojung only listens with a blank expression. She doesn’t know what to feel or what to do and it’s starting to get to her again. 

“Thank you for reaching out to us about this, Sojung. We both really appreciate that you trust us this much with your thoughts and feelings. It must’ve been hard keeping all of that inside of you, is there anything we can do to help you get through this?” Yerin added, her heart feeling heavier now, she knows what Sojung feels. Trapped. Not knowing what to do or how to approach it in the right manner and it because you just really want to get it over with. 

“I guess.. I just want to know a third party’s perspective. Do you guys think Yuna and I will work out?” Sojung asks. Sinb hummed in question, turning her head to face her lover. 

After giving it some thought, Sinb faces back to Sojung and voices her thoughts while Yerin remains mum, probably waiting for Sinb to speak first. “From what I can see, I’m one hundred percent sure that the both of you like each other very much. So let’s not jump into love just yet, because being in love is one thing--staying in love is another. Maybe you guys should just go on casual dates every now and then, get to know each other a little more, you know? Maybe the right approach is to take things slow, she’s not going anywhere and neither are you” 

Yerin nods, agreeing with Sinb. “Yeah. I agree with Sinb. I don’t know Yuna that well, heck- I don’t even know you that well, but I do know that the both of you have good hearts. Also judging by how the both of you met, you guys are just two hopeless romantics who fell in love at first sight. As cliche as that sounds…”

“Yeah, all the ‘Is my name still pretty when you say it?’ stuff? I don’t know about you, but you guys are head over heels for each other. But again, just take things slow and see how things go, alright?” Sinb adds. 

Sojung lets out a huge sigh while nodding slowly, as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Her mind feels a little clearer, almost like how the clouds get brighter after a storm. She feels more calm and content. What Yerin and Sinb said were right, just take things slow, she thought. 

“Feeling better?” asked Sinb after observing Sojung. Finally, Sojung looks up to the couple and gives them a small smile of appreciation. 

“Yeah, much better”